Gracious dining is an art found in the most delicate details. From the way we butter a piece of bread to the smallest of gestures, proper etiquette is a reflection of one’s grace. This summer, a visit from my grandchildren who live in Berlin, Germany, provided a wonderful reminder of how these small details can vary so beautifully across cultures.
At our dinner table, I noticed a delightful cultural difference. My sweet grandchildren were perfectly accustomed to buttering their entire piece of bread at once, a common practice in Europe! Their manners are polished (a testament to their parents’ insistence on a nightly sit-down dinner- practice makes perfect!), but I wanted to introduce them to the American protocol for buttering the bread, which is distinctly different.
Whether you are hosting a formal luncheon or heading to an important business dinner, mastering “bread and butter” skills will speak volumes before you even say a word.
The Art of Buttering Your Bread
Here is the simple, polished sequence for when bread is offered to you:
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Place your selection on the butter plate (which always sits to the left of your dinner plate) and let it rest for a moment.
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Never, ever cut your bread with a knife. Instead, use your fingers to break or tear off one bite-sized piece at a time.
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Butter ONLY that individual piece, and then enjoy that single, perfect bite.
Where is a butter knife placed on your butter plate?
For a classic American place setting, the knife is placed diagonally across the top of the plate, roughly at the 10 and 2 o’clock position, with the blade pointed toward you. Yet in England, the butter knife is often placed vertically at the 12 and 6 o’clock positions, with the blade facing left.
Any creative ideas for individual butter plates?
Butter plates can be an amusing adornment on your table!
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Try glass leaf-shaped plates for autumn, or add a flower, or a sprig of fresh mint or basil from the garden in the summer.
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For Christmas, I love to tuck two holly leaves (sans the red berries!) beside the butter. In the spring, a single edible flower atop the butter pat is simply divine.
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Uniquely shaped butter molds will instantly enhance your presentation. Click here to revisit my previous “secrets” on the magic of butter molds.
Forbidden Faux Pas
No-No: To hold your butter knife high above the butter plate while breaking or buttering the bread.
What is done: Keep all flatware as close to any plate as possible. Flatware in your hand should remain close to the plate, not held high above it.
No-No: To break your bread with an exaggerated flourish!
What is done: Break your bread discreetly, hold it just barely above the plate, and butter one piece at a time. Return the butter knife to the plate in the same position that it was placed when you sat down at the table.
As the incomparable Julia Child once reminded us, “Butter makes everything taste better.” On a Valentine’s Day card she made for her husband, she wrote, “Paul, you are the butter to my bread, and the breath to my life.” Thank you, Julia Child!
Xx
Holly
P.S. If you have enjoyed these “bread and butter” secrets, please consider inviting a friend to subscribe to my newsletter so we can keep gracious living alive and well!