To clink, or not to clink? That is the timeless question!
Yesterday, September 13th, marked a truly momentous occasion. Stuart and I celebrated our 51st wedding anniversary. As I sat across from my darling husband, ready to propose a heartfelt toast to five decades of love, laughter, and shared adventures, the topic of crystal glasses—and the etiquette behind touching them—came to mind.
Few sounds are quite as festive as the crystal-clear chime of two glasses meeting for a toast. Yet, the history behind that musical sound reveals a fascinating past. Centuries ago, tapping vessels together was believed to ward off lurking evil spirits. It also served a practical purpose: clinking vigorously enough to spill a splash of wine into a companion’s cup proved that neither drink harbored poison! Over time, the gesture evolved into a profound symbol of mutual trust. By the early twentieth century, however, clinking fell out of favor in regal European circles and formal society, where simply raising the glass with intentional eye contact became the gold standard of refined manners.
Does one clink at a seated dinner? In regal company and formal European dining rooms, glasses are lifted, never clinked. Yet here in America, touching rims remains a beloved custom.
Do we clink glasses at Fox Hall? Yes, we do! For me, touching crystal with family and dear friends is an affectionate symbol of warmth, celebration, and connection. As always, take your lead from the host of the table.
When seated at a large table, avoid stretching awkwardly across place settings or over another guest’s dinner. Simply clink with those directly adjacent to you, then lift your glass and make warm eye contact with those seated further away.
Forbidden Faux Pas
No-No: Tapping your crystal with a fork or knife to silence a room before proposing a toast.
What is done: Simply stand, smile, and raise your glass gracefully toward the room or the guest of honor. Your posture and raised glass will quietly command everyone’s attention. And if that doesn’t garner everyone’s attention, then a guest near you may lightly tap their glass to get their attention.
No-No: Drinking when a toast is offered in your honor.
What is done: If the toast is for you, sit graciously, smile, and refrain from touching or raising your glass until the toast concludes. Drinking to yourself is tantamount to applauding your own entrance! Once everyone has sipped, raise your glass to thank your hosts.
No-No: Refusing to touch glasses when someone extends theirs directly toward yours to clink it.
What is done: Meet their glass with an authentic smile. True etiquette is always about putting others at ease, never about making anyone feel awkward.
No-No: Leaving your glass on the table because it happens to be empty during a toast.
What is done: Always raise your glass, whether full or empty! I “try” to keep a tiny sip of champagne in my glass at gatherings just in case an impromptu toast arises!
No-no: To have a coaster for a wine glass.
What is done: Stemmed glasses go directly onto the table, no coaster needed. Yet, if it is a stemless wine glass that has ice in it, a coaster can be offered to absorb any condensation from the glass.
Grandmillennial Tips
Stem Etiquette: Always hold stemmed glassware by the stem rather than the bowl. This preserves the chilled temperature of the wine, and this also prevents unsightly fingerprints on the crystal glass!
The Lipstick Rule: Ladies, aim to sip from the exact same spot on the rim throughout the evening to avoid a ring of lipstick markings.
Do tell… when a celebratory toast is made at your table, do you prefer a quiet raise of the glass, or do you love the merry sound of a clink?
Xx
Holly
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