The golden rule of hosting is simple. We want our guests to feel entirely at ease and enjoy themselves! Yet, even the most seasoned hostesses can make a dress code assumption, which can lead to a rather awkward, yet entirely well-intentioned, mishap.
A dear friend of mine recently invited a group of ladies for a lively late afternoon of tennis at a private club, followed by dinner. She had envisioned a beautiful evening in the formal dining room, naturally assuming her guests would know to bring a change of clothes.
The guests, however, assumed dinner would be a casual affair poolside because no mention was made to them that dinner was arranged for the formal dining room. The result? They had a wonderful time, but they dined outdoors in their athletic wear. My friend felt simply terrible, lamenting, “It was entirely my fault. I assumed they would know what my plans were!” This charming mix-up brings us to a fundamental rule. Providing clear guidance is an essential element of true hospitality.
Many lovely venues have strict, traditional dress codes (which we secretly adore, of course!). When an itinerary spans from the sports court to a more formal dining room, it is our duty as hosts to share this with our guests. No one wants the “outfit anxiety” of feeling underdressed; save your guests from that dreaded moment of feeling out of place. Has this ever happened to you?
The secret? Be delightfully direct when extending the invitation:
“We will commence our afternoon with tennis whites at 3:00 p.m, and then change for our dinner in the main dining room. Don’t forget a quick change of clothes! I’ll be in a cocktail dress.”
Let this be a gentle reminder for your next gathering- When in doubt, never let your guests assume the dress code!
Forbidden Faux Pas
No-No: Assuming that because a dress code is obvious or traditional to you, it is obvious to your guests too.
What is Done: Gracefully take the lead. A truly lovely hostess never leaves her guests in the dark; she clearly paints the picture of the evening so everyone arrives feeling appropriately turned out.
Mummy always said, “An informed guest is a happy guest!”
Xx
Holly