While visiting my daughter, Alexandra, in Berlin, Germany, she hosted a delightful impromptu cocktail party in my honor. Alexandra and her charming friends, whom I simply adore, always make such a lovely gesture of welcoming me when I visit.
As we prepared the wine and cheese, our conversation turned to the “unwritten rules” of being a guest. Wherever in the world you are, a touch of gracious polish is always a welcomed attribute from a guest because a thoughtful guest is the best ornament at a party! More than merely appearing, bring along your spirit of grace, gratitude and joy.
Here are a few of the No-nos to consider:
No-no: Upon receiving an invitation, resist the urge to ask others if they are going to the party. It is a significant “no-no” to ask others if they were included.
What is done: Discretion prevents any awkwardness should a friend not have been invited. If you wish to coordinate transportation/car pooling, reach out to the hostess first to confirm if your friend is on the guest list.
No-no: Never arrive before the appointed hour. Those final fifteen minutes are a hostess’s sanctuary- time for lighting candles and final touches. While “fashionably late” is a tradition, arriving early is an imposition!
No-no: Asking a hostess to open the gift or expect her to serve the wine you have brought. Hostess gifts and wine are offerings for the hostess’s future enjoyment; a treat for her to savor later.
No-no: If you must decline an invitation because you have a houseguest, simply state the reason with regret. Never ask, “May I bring them?”
What is done: Allow the hostess to extend an invitation to include your houseguest. The choice must remain hers, made in consideration of her space and arrangements.
No-No: Serving a non-alcoholic drink request in a mundane glass while other guests hold a lovely wine glass. A guest should never feel “conspicuous” because they are not imbibing.
What is done: Serve seltzer or mocktails in a stemmed wine glass or a sparkling coupe. A twist of lime or a fresh sprig of mint transforms the drink into a celebration. Inclusion is the most elegant ingredient of all.
No-no: To ask for an exotic mixed drink, unless it is offered to you by the host or bartender.
What is done: When asked by the host what you would like to drink, it’s always thoughtful to ask, “What do you suggest?” Or, “What are others having?” By posing the question, you allow the host or bartender to offer what they have.
“A guest should be like a breath of fresh air—never overwhelming, memorable, and always leaving a heavenly scent of joy and gratitude behind.” That was the exact essence of Alexandra’s German friends who attended the party! And now I know why Alexandra has vases on hand in the kitchen… many of the thoughtful guests brought bouquets, Spring flowers and pink tulips. Always a charming gift to give a hostess!
So, from your own experience, what are some no-nos you have encountered that you wish your guests knew NOT to do?!
Xx
Holly