What a joy it was to attend this stunning “Sip and See” celebration for the most adorable baby girl! It was held in a gloriously beautiful historic Boston townhouse.
This week I received a question from a precious friend’s daughter, whom I adore! She lives in New York but is presently quarantining with her family down south. I thought her inquiry would be a lively topic to cover, especially with the hope and dream of hosting parties again. Perhaps it will spark conversation within your family, too!
“Mrs. Holden, we are looking for your perspective on the topic of hosting “showers” as we have an inner family debate! In this modern world, is it appropriate or not, for a family member to host a bridal shower? Please do not hold back on your candid expert opinion. We are hoping for a colorful debate!! (What else do we have to do in a quarantine state!!)"
My response: I believe that any member of the immediate family (especially the mother) should not host a bridal or baby shower. The traditional thought is that it appears audacious, as if the bride or the family are doing it for the presents, and it is self-serving. If a friend (or a distant relative) hosts the shower, their only interest is to provide the bride or expectant mother with an opportunity to share this wonderful event with family and friends.
Now, is this form of etiquette still relevant today? I still hear Mummy whispering in my ear, “Yes!” And, I agree as well. It is an old-school secret code.
However, there is a way to graciously skirt around this if need be. If no friends have offered to host the shower for various reasons, such as the expense or even the venue size required, and a family member wants to provide the shower, they may ask a dear friend to act as the hostess. The family member can plan the event with the friend, and then the family member actually pays the expenses for the shower. I have witnessed this before. Even if others find out what has transpired, it still comes across as more genteel, and everyone is pleased to be a part of the celebration on behalf of the guest of honor.
In reference to a baby shower, there is an alternative for a family member who wishes to host a party. It is perfectly acceptable for a family member, especially a grandmother, to host a “Sip and See” party after the baby is born, instead of a shower which takes place before the baby is born! If guests choose to bring a gift, that is their prerogative….who can resist not bringing a gift to a newborn?
Millennial Tip
When hosting a shower or a birthday party where presents are brought for the guest of honor, it is thoughtful to hold off opening the gifts until the dessert is served, or afterward, or not at all. I have attended a shower with over fifty ladies and just the gift opening portion took over two hours! While it is lovely to see what gifts have been given, along with the joy on the recipient’s face, I think it is rather cheeky to take up the time of your guests when it is a large gathering.
When the time comes to thank your guests for attending, you may then also announce that they are welcome to stay while the gifts are opened, but will understand if they need to leave.
If you are the guest of honor, remember to give a toast at the beginning of the event to express your gratitude and thank the hostess, and also the guests, for their thoughtfulness and meaningful attendance.
My Gift to You! You Have Earned It!
Speaking of parties and knowing how challenging it has been to be quarantined for what seems like an eternity, I would like to give you a little gift, my secret recipe, in the form of a video, for “Holden Punch”. It makes its merry appearance at every large gathering at Fox Hall. My daughter-in-law, Karen Holden, joins me in this video. Cheers to our dedicated medical community and essential workers, and to all of you who have respectfully sequestered. I only wish that I could make a glass for each one of you!
Yes, it makes enough for 70, cut in half for 30, and then, you can cut that in half so that you will have enough to make a “party for two” all weekend! Remember to dilute it with an abundance of ice.
If you enjoy this video, consider gaining unlimited access to my archive of videos here.
Lovely Living!
Here are some suggestions for accessories that I either use, give as a gift, specify for my private clients, or contemplate owning!
When guests arrive at Fox Hall for a party, they are offered a glass of bubbly! These pretty Baccarat crystal Dom Perignon champagne flutes are always appropriate with their timeless design.
What better way to celebrate a bride or a new baby than a garden party! Create a bespoke tablecloth with this joyful Lilly Pulitzer floral fabric… and make a dress for yourself too! It is available through DesignSourceCT.