Protocol for place cards!

The top two photos are examples of place card holders I have collected through the years. Below are place setting examples from two dinner parties I have attended. 

We all know how much effort it takes to host a memorable, seated dinner party for our guests!  Seating placement is one aspect of proper entertaining, and it takes time and considerable thought.  A place card (or seating card) tells guests where they will be seated at the table. Guests tend to appreciate place cards because they confirm that the host cares about creating an atmosphere for delightful and engaging conversation between their guests… and, they also eliminate that awkward dance of “where should I sit?” out of the equation!

I received this comment about place cards from a darling subscriber:

“I was recently at a beautiful dinner party where the hostess no doubt had made every effort to prepare her seating plan thoughtfully.  I was aghast to see a couple of guests rearranging the place cards to seat themselves in a different location than where the hostess had planned for them.  REALLY??? Have you ever had this happen?  The hostess was quietly gracious, but I’m sure she was filing this behavior away for future reference… can you spell, faux pas?!!”

Oh, dear! Changing the placement of a place card is a BIG no-no for a guest! I have indeed witnessed this at larger functions, such as weddings. 

As a guest, remember that a dinner invitation is a gift from the host; thus, your seating placement should not be dismissed at your will… accept your placement at the table respectfully. Showing gratitude for being invited and respect for an appointed seat at the table is something to be revered, especially if you wish to be invited back!   

If a place card is not present, the host may direct guests to their seats, or the guests may choose where they wish to be seated. 

Place cards grace our table for all of our dinner parties. For large family gatherings, I invite the children to make the place cards (cut them out, color them, and fill in the names) and arrange them as they wish, as a surprise for everyone, as long as Stuart and I are at either end of the table. This always adds an amusing and unexpected aspect to the event. There is something so sweet about seeing colored construction paper place cards with pinking sheared edges and crayon writing! 

The old-school saying, “Six seats itself,” translates to three couples who can easily seat themselves, with the host and hostess on either end, alternating boy & girl!

Protocol for Place Cards:

Place cards need to be legible! For a formal dinner, black or gold ink is used. For my impromptu dinner parties, I also write with pink ink—go figure!

A title (Ambassador, General, etc.) may be included with the first and last name for a formal dinner. 

For an informal dinner, using just the first name is acceptable. 

A place card may be displayed in a place card holder, which can be placed above the dinner plate and centered or above the forks. 

A folded (tented) place card does not require a holder, but using a place card holder is also acceptable. I use place card holders for both folded and non-folded place cards, because they are pretty! 

A tented card may be larger than a regular place card for business functions. The person's name may be printed on both sides so that others sitting at the table can also see whom they are addressing at the meeting.

The paper color and design are the same for the place card, the menu card, and the table card (indicating the table number for larger functions).

When a guest does not show up at a seated function, especially with more than one table, the host/hostess may request that the serving staff remove the entire place setting and chair, allowing the other guests to scoot closer together without having an empty gap at the table—much more conducive to jovial conversation!

Over the years, collecting assorted themed place card holders has been a delight. They serve to complement various celebrations, seasons, and themes. Anything from darling Herend bunnies to silver Chinese characters, silver watering cans, bouquets of porcelain flowers, or running horses adds a charming, personal detail to a well-appointed table. What are some of your favorite place card holders?

Xx Holly

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Thank you notes: The secret code!

Do you know what it means if you see a line drawn through someone’s name on their personal notecards or stationery? It is a secret code to indicate that you are a friend on a less formal basis and that a title is unnecessary. This applies to any title such as Mr., Mrs., Senator, Dr., Countess… you get the idea. It is an unwritten etiquette rule with a longstanding tradition you may already know about.  I am grateful my parents shared it with me. And, for those unaware of this gracious gesture, now you know! 

A handwritten note is more important than ever, especially with the present-day trend of sending off a quick thank-you via email.  A handwritten acknowledgment for someone’s hospitality, gift, or act of kindness is the pinnacle of graciousness, a quiet beacon of polish, and a proper nod to good manners. 

Have you ever heard the old-school term “bread and butter” note and wondered what it is? My Instagram explains it here. Simply, it is a note of appreciation for someone’s hospitality and should be sent out or delivered “by hand” as soon as possible after leaving someone’s house. A thank-you note is an appreciated gift to your host. 

Interestingly enough, in my lifetime, the people who take the time to write a note tend to be some of the most remarkable, successful people I have ever met. They understand how important it is to recognize someone else’s effort on their behalf.  From respected leaders to grand-dames, volunteers to philanthropists, and even grandchildren, thank-you notes are instinctually cherished by the recipients.

When you are handwriting a thank-you note, be sure to write on the correct sides of your writing paper, in this order:

Occasionally, I will discover a handwritten note from Mummy or Daddy, whether inside a book or a gift they gave me, and I immediately feel their loving presence. Seeing my mother's loopy handwriting or my father’s traditional blue fountain pen ink on a note instantly gives me a wonderful sense of nostalgia and comfort. Has this happened to you, too?

The tradition of writing thank-you notes deserves to be preserved. Each note serves as a tangible reminder of the relationships we cherish and the kindness we receive. Let’s encourage those entering the professional world or graduating to embrace the “secret importance” of handwritten notes to convey gratitude, demonstrating effort and thoughtfulness… it will also set them apart in a crowded landscape!

Xx 

Holly

PS- Please be a dear and send this to someone who may also agree with the importance of a handwritten note! 

A Well-Appointed House Guest Bathroom: The Essential List!

So, you have houseguests coming!  How well-prepared is your Guest Bathroom?  

While you are not trying to be a 5-star hotel, you want your guests to feel comfortable, relaxed, and attended to! 

Assemble a little “guest bathroom basket” under the sink, or place it in a vanity drawer or their bedroom closet. Fill it with items your houseguests may have forgotten or appurtenances they may suddenly discover they need. This extra effort will relieve your houseguests because they do not have to “ask you” for something; it’s all at their fingertips if needed! 

The Houseguest Bathroom Essential List: 

• Linens: Two big fluffy bath towels (or more), two hand towels, and two washcloths per guest (a black make-up hand towel is thoughtful, too)

• A white cotton floor mat near the shower or tub

• A new bar of soap on the sink AND in the shower/tub 

• A bottle of liquid body soap (millennials prefer this over a bar of soap)

• Shampoo (get one for color-treated hair… just saying!)

• Conditioner

• Mouthwash (fill a crystal decanter with mouthwash and place it next to the sink… it will look pretty!)

• Small drinking glass (I prefer a silver mint julep cup, it cannot break!) 

• A hairdryer  

• Hooks on the door or a place to hang damp/wet towels

• A box of tissues 

• Two terry robes: Medium & Large for the Guest Bedroom or Bathroom 

• A magnifying mirror on the wall or on a stand

• A pretty waste bin

• A small vase of cut flowers or a little orchid plant by the sink (a silver baby cup is the perfect size for either)

ADDITIONAL ITEMS- place these under the sink or in a vanity drawer:

• Shower cap

• Hair spray

• Hair mousse

• Body lotion

• Extra rolls of potty paper

• Travel-size toothpaste

• New toothbrush 

• New razor

• Shaving cream

• Make-up remover

• Cotton balls

• Nail file

• Nail polish remover

• Tweezers

• Roll of Tums or antacid

• Advil or Tylenol- small bottle

• Needle and thread kit

• A pair of little scissors

• Lint brush

• Comb

• Small hairbrush

• Q-tips- a small amount

• Spray deodorant

• Feminine products

• Sunscreen (for a resort house)

• Room scent spray

• Nightlight (I keep one plugged in the bathroom outlet)

While this list may seem extensive, you may already have some of these items.  

Grand Millennial Tips:

If you have items collected from a previous hotel stay such as a needle and thread kit, comb, nail file, or shower cap, repurpose them for your guest bathroom… one and done!

I purchase as many items as possible in “travel-size” so that they do not take up much room and can be tossed after a guest has used them.

My daughters in Berlin and Park City thoughtfully provide electric curlers in their guest bathrooms for me so I do not have to pack mine!

Even though you are not running a hotel, your houseguests will appreciate your attentiveness. (Warning: they may choose to stay and never leave… good luck with that!)

Xx
Holly

PS: Please share this with a friend who may appreciate this list for their Guest Bathroom too! 

Ladies, do you tilt your hat to the right or left?!

This hat is a fabulously elegant, pink creation by the world-renowned milliner, Rachel Trevor-Morgan, London.

Kentucky Derby day is near, so let’s chat about hats!

Ladies, did you know that the appropriate side to tilt your hat is to the right side of your face? That’s right! 

Rachel Trevor-Morgan is a clever and, OH, SO talented London milliner with a Royal Warrant, and she has been a lovely sponsor. When I visited her in London at her atelier last year, she confirmed that ladies’ hats are “traditionally” placed or tilted/slanted to the right side of the face of a lady. 

Bows, pins, and other ornamentations are also placed on the right side of a woman’s hat. And for gentlemen? The ornamentation goes on the left side of the hat.

Alternatively, a bow can be “centered” on the front or the back. Miss Zsa Zsa and I enjoyed a drive with Stuart to Newport, Rhode Island. I am wearing the “Holly Holden” bow on my favorite hat from Dress for Cocktails.

Even though milliners are quite creative these days and decorate all aspects of a hat, I thought you may wish to know the proper way to wear and embellish your hats!

GrandMillennial Tips

Ladies: 

After five in the evening, or once the sun sets, a lady does not wear a brimmed hat. The reasoning behind this is that a brim is not needed after sunset.

In Europe (and other countries), respectfully inquire when you are invited to attend a wedding, funeral, or christening if the host recommends wearing a hat. It is customary for ladies to wear elegant hats to these functions.

Gentlemen: 

The rule of thumb for men is to remove your hat when indoors or in the presence of a lady. Hats are off during the National Anthem. 

It was a delight to be with the 8th Earl of Carnarvon again when he visited Connecticut from his ancestral home, Highclere Castle (aka Downton Abbey), for a Highclere Castle Gin event in honor of the late Queen Elizabeth II’s Platinum Jubilee, hosted by Adam von Gootkin, CEO of Highclere Castle Spirits Company. 

I hope you have a galloping good time at The Derby, or for that matter, anytime you wear a hat!  
Xx 

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and share this with a friend who adores hats, too!

Chargers: When NOT to use them!

Silver chargers are often used for formal dinner party celebrations at Fox Hall.

A “charger” is a plate that is more significant in diameter than a dinner plate. It is also referred to as a service plate or an underplate. While chargers are used for decorative purposes these days, they used to be primarily to protect the table from hot plates being placed directly on top of the table’s wood surface. They date back to the 15th century. Chargers vary in size from 11-14" in diameter.  

Food is never served on the charger itself. Instead, the dinner plate is placed on top of the charger. Additional courses may also be served on the charger.  

Do you know when NOT to use a charger?  The dessert course! A charger is permanently removed before the dessert course is served.

Chargers have become a popular decoration for dinner tables in recent decades. They are made of various materials and have endless color options. The most traditional style of charger is made of porcelain or silver. For formal dinner parties, I prefer silver because it complements the other silver accouterments on my table (candlesticks, wine coasters, flatware, serving pieces) and adds a hint of glamour to enhance the notable occasion.

Chargers are often used to decorate the table for visual interest and are then removed, as is frequently done in private clubs or restaurants. 

At the Palm Beach Yacht Club, a handsome cobalt blue and gold charger featuring the Club insignia greets guests at the table.  When a cocktail is ordered, it is served on top of the charger. The charger is then removed before the guest's first course is served.  

Chargers are rarely used in a proper English country house. My dear friend, the Executive Director of The English Manner, William Hanson (with his brilliant British sense of humor) summarizes the use of chargers: “They serve no practical use as you do not eat off one and are, frankly, a waste of money!"

Pictured at a White House dinner, a handsome gold-enhanced charger, created in honor of President Dwight Eisenhower, adds to the formality of the table.

Grandmillennial Tips:

Another way to repurpose a charger/service plate is to place it underneath a flower arrangement. It collects the fallen pollen and enhances, reflects, and frames the arrangement!

Pretty porcelain chargers may also be used as unique artwork by creating a design on a wall using plate hangers.

Consider using a charger to serve hors d'oeuvres. They are the perfect size for small gatherings.

The silver charger adds a glimmer of glamour to your flower arrangement! 

Xx

Holly

P.S. Please be a dear and pass this along to a friend to inspire them to subscribe!

A gift that you give to yourself when you entertain at home!

On a warm summer's evening, dining on our veranda at Fox Hall (c.1803) is simply magical! 

Stuart and I adore entertaining, and our goal has always been to have a jolly time while catching up with our darling friends. We share stories and laugh the night away over dinner. “Friends are a gift you give yourself!” 

I truly savor the preparation before a dinner party, from arranging the flowers, deciding the menu and setting the table, to cooking the dinner. While as time-consuming as it is to cook, it is my way of showing my love to our precious friends and family; I am grateful to be able to do this. That being said, Stuart also contributes by placing the appropriate glasses on the table and being in charge of the wine and libations for the event. He excels at showing “his love” with this task!

True confession: serving and cleaning up is something that I do not enjoy… who does? So, when we host an intimate party of six or more, Stuart and I have agreed that our evening is more enjoyable when we have help to serve and clean up. This was a decision we made the moment we knew we could afford it. This is “the gift we give to ourselves” so that we can be in the moment, and give our full attention to our dinner guests. Then we can relax and enjoy the evening. 

For Alexandra’s 40th birthday dinner party, she invited her dear friends from her Miss Porter's School days. Sweet photographs taken from when the girls were students were arranged on the sideboard. I placed a wine decanter, filled with pink flowers at each place setting as a gift for them to take home. I still consider these girls as my “other” daughters! 

A seasoned piece of advice, which I have learned through experience, is this: if you are hiring a new server for the first time, take a moment to discuss what you expect of them and how you wish them to serve.  Showing an example before the party is a prudent exercise. Then, you both have an understanding and know exactly what is expected. 

Here is my  “short list” of what I discuss with a new server or staff after showing them around the kitchen.  

COCKTAIL HOUR:

Always offer a linen cocktail napkin when passing hors d’oeuvres in case someone has put their cocktail napkin down and needs another one.

Pass one-bite hors d’oeuvres to ladies first, then gentlemen. For any remaining, I instruct the server to leave the serving plate on the coffee table or a side table. This gives me the opportunity to pick it up at any time and pass the plate myself, allowing me to move around to chat with my guests. 

DINNER:

Discuss the time table for cocktail hour and when dinner will be served. 

Decide if the first course will already be placed on the table or served once the guests are seated. 

Indicate where the guests of honor are seated because they are served first. And remember that the ladies are served first, then the gentlemen.  

Indicate where a guest is seated that has an allergy or does not drink. 

Plates and other serving dishes are served on the left side of the guests. In America, the rule of thumb is to "serve on the left." 

Plates are cleared from the table on the right side of the guests. I just remember the two R's: “Remove on the Right!" 

Plates are never stacked! They are removed two at a time from the table (and quietly placed in the kitchen). The woman guest of honor first, then the other ladies, and then the hostess. The gentleman guest of honor’s plate is then removed, followed by the other gentlemen, with the host being last. 

Glasses are refilled on the right because their placement on the table is on the right.

(On a side note, in England, in private houses, plates are served and cleared only on the left side of the guest.)

DESSERT:

If a dessert fork and spoon are placed at the top of the place setting, it is proper to have the server slide down the spoon to the right and the fork to the left of the guest (to the same position where the other flatware was previously placed). Decide if you want the server to do this or if you will let your guests attend to this proper dessert nuance. 

Discuss if a port or a cordial is being served.

Discuss if coffee will be offered, and if yes, when and where it will be served… in the dining room or the living room?

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-No: To stack plates when clearing the table. Plates should never be stacked or scraped clean anywhere near the dining table.

What is done: Plates are cleared from the table, two at a time, three at most. They are cleaned in the kitchen and preferably not within earshot of the guests.  

No-No: To leave any remaining plates, serving dishes and salt and pepper on the table when dessert is served.

What is done: When all of the courses have been served, the remaining plates, salt and pepper, serving pieces, chargers, and flatware (other than the dessert flatware) are then cleared from the table before the dessert is served.  

The decanters/wine bottles and glasses can remain on the table until the dinner is over and guests move to another room.

Then, the gift to yourself is that you can go happily to bed knowing the dishes are clean, put away, and the trash is out. Sweet dreams are assured! 

Xx

Holly 

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Holly's "Secret" Lemon Chess Pie Recipe

For those occasions when impromptu guests arrive, or you spontaneously invite friends over for lunch or dinner and need a quick dessert, I have the perfect recipe! It is one that both men and women savor, and you will most likely have all the ingredients on hand. So, what is my tried-and-true “SECRET” pie recipe? A Lemon Chess Pie! You can whip it up easily, especially if you have a pre-made pie crust, along with two lemons. You will likely already have the other ingredients in your kitchen: butter, eggs, and sugar.

The Lemon Chess Pie has a long heritage in England. It is similar to the English curd pie, dating back to the 1600s. It was adopted here, in New England and Virginia.  A version of the recipe was even in Martha Washington’s cookbook.  As a young bride in Richmond, I was given the recipe by a bridesmaid who copied it from her old Virginia family’s recipe repertoire. I have made it ever since and added my “secret” touch: the grated lemon rind!  

Why is it called “chess?” One reference is that, before refrigerators, it was stored in a pie “chest”… which sounds like “chess.” Another theory is that long ago, when a lady was asked what kind of pie she made, she responded: “it’s jes’ pie,” with a southern accent, and “jes” sounds like chess.  Whatever the derivation, it is “jes’ yummy!”   

Holly’s “Secret” Lemon Chess Pie Recipe

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees

You will need:

- 1 pie shell, unbaked 

(NOTE: I use Pillsbury pie crusts. Two are rolled up in a red box and can be found in the refrigerated (not frozen) section of the grocery store.)

- 3 eggs

- 1 stick of butter (I use salted butter)

- 1 ½ cups sugar (use superfine sugar if you have it!) 

- 2 lemons (the juice and, my secret: the finely grated rind from both lemons)

Cream together the butter and sugar.

Add the eggs, one at a time, and mix well.

Add the lemon juice and grated rind to the above.

Pour into the unbaked pie shell.

Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 35 minutes. 

It will be lightly browned. You want it firm enough to barely wiggle in the center when shaken. Serve warm or cold! 

A few more secrets:

~I like to press fork tines along the edge of the store-bought pie crust, creating that “homemade” look.

~This pie may be made a few days ahead and stored in the refrigerator. 

~If you have time and the ingredients, add a dollop of whipped cream, mint leaves, and a few raspberries for color. 

~It is rich with flavor (because of the butter and the lemon rind), so you can make the slices even smaller if necessary to serve more people. 

I hope y’all enjoy serving this pie as much as I have through the years! Shhh, now remember it’s a secret recipe!

And, take a peek at my Instagram secret “lemon squeezer” HERE. It works like a charm! I adore using it every day for lemon in my tea and for lemon water… and especially for this pie recipe!

 XX

Holly

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Addendum to SLL “Graduation Gifts”:

Dear Holly, 

Due to the high cost of college these days, we’ve done something a bit different with our nephews/godchildren. When they are born, we buy them bonds and add to them every year. When they graduate high school, we give them half to help defer costs. When they graduate college, they get the other half. This helps them have a nest egg that they can either keep or spend to help get them started. Ironically, our nephews seem to prefer to keep the bonds as a start to their financial well being. Smart kids. Of course, I would want the Launer handbag.

Nikki

Graduation: The difference between an "Invitation" and an "Announcement"

Graduation time is drawing near! Here are a few gifts that I have found that  young lady graduates appreciate receiving:

For a college graduate, an elegant black handbag for upcoming job interviews. 

Both college and high school graduates will cherish a lovely piece of jewelry, an engraved picture frame to hold a sweet memory, or a porcelain Herend box to place by their bedside for earrings, or to use as a pretty decorative piece. 

It is always a delight to read your questions and  recently, I was asked about the difference between a graduation invitation versus a graduation announcement.

A graduation invitation is requesting your attendance at the actual ceremony, and a graduation announcement is acknowledging an academic accomplishment. 

A Graduation Invitation: 

A graduation invitation is requesting your physical attendance at the graduation commencement. It is typically mailed six weeks prior to the graduation date, and a save-the-date card can be sent up to three months ahead. This advance notice is helpful for out-of-town guests to make their travel arrangements. 

Do not take offense if you did not receive an invitation! Due to the constraint of limited school seating, invitations are mainly intended for immediate family and close relatives.

Respond to a graduation invitation as soon as possible because tickets are limited, and if you cannot attend, the graduate can then invite another close family member.   

A graduation invitation is similar in format to a wedding invitation. If the school provides the graduate with an invitation and two envelopes, write the name and address on the outer envelope, and try not to use any abbreviations. Instead, spell out Street, Avenue, and the state- Connecticut.  Slip the invitation into the inner envelope and only write the guest’s name on the front. For example: Mr. and Mrs. R. Stuart Holden, Jr. or, for a relative, simply, Uncle Herb. Use black ink… or blue ink is acceptable too. 

A Graduation Announcement:

Since an announcement is not an invitation to attend the commencement, the announcement is sent after the actual graduation ceremony has taken place! Announcements can be mailed the day after, or up to two weeks after the ceremony.  A graduation announcement does not include an invitation to a party because the party will have already taken place after the ceremony. 

Graduation Party:

If you are hosting a graduation party, then you may invite whomever you wish! Party invitations should be mailed separately, and not inserted into the graduation invitation. It is a thoughtful idea to give a “start and end time” so that the graduate and their friends can also plan to attend other parties. 

Graduation Gifts:

If you receive a graduation announcement, you are not obligated to send a gift. Of course, the graduate would appreciate your kind acknowledgment with either a congratulatory note or better yet, a gift!  

If you receive an invitation to the graduation ceremony, a gift is expected. Either send a gift and request that it be delivered near or on the graduation date, or give your gift to the graduate on the day of the commencement. 

It can be helpful to ask the parents of the graduate advice on what to give or what they need. I like to order a gift that can be engraved with either their name, their school, and/or a date. 

Lovely writing paper or note cards with the graduate’s name is thoughtful and can be used for thank you notes. A Mont Blanc or Cross fountain pen or a rollerball pen with black ink is another idea. Sending flowers to the graduate on the day of the graduation is also thoughtful. A check or gift certificate is appropriate too.  

For gentlemen graduates, a handsome picture frame engraved with their initials or school, a pair of engraved cufflinks, or a leather credit card holder or a business card holder are all worthy gift contenders! A tie with the school colors or emblem is nice, too. 

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To send an announcement to anyone who has never met the graduate.

What is done:  The announcement should be sent to people the graduate actually knows, not just their parents friends, or their Christmas card list.  Rule of thumb: whomever receives an announcement should be able to recognize the graduate and vice versa!

No-no: To have a gift registry included on the invitation.

What is done: The guest will inquire to the graduate or their parents if they have a registry or a particular store they adore. 

No-no: For the graduate to only talk to their friends at their graduation party. 

What is done: The graduate should make an effort to talk to all of the guests attending their ceremony and party. 

No-no: To send an “email” thank you note for graduation gifts.  

What is done: A hand-written thank-you note is required for any graduation gift received, preferably within 48 hours, but up to two weeks, after receiving the gift.

 XX

Holly

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Lipstick Lessons for Ladies!

Picture this: You’re out to dinner, enjoying a divine meal with others, and suddenly, you realize your lipstick has disappeared faster than you expected. Fear not! Here’s how to properly reapply lipstick color to your lips, without becoming a circus act- especially when surrounded by fellow diners. Discretion rules! A lady should try not to draw attention to herself while performing this delicate task.

The old-school, Southern way I was privy to as a young adult is still applicable: lipstick is applied to the bottom lip only, quickly and discreetly, when in the company of others. Then, the two lips are rubbed together to get the lipstick color on the top lip. One and done!

Here’s how to master the art of discreet lipstick application:

1. Location, Location, Location! Place your lipstick in your evening bag or pocketbook so that it can be easily accessible. Ensure it is at the top. This way, you can simply reach in and grab it. Like braille, you’ll be able to remove it without looking into your bag!

2. The Sneaky Swipe! While everyone else is deep in conversation, use this moment to twirl up the lipstick without anyone seeing you; this is a covert operation- do it under the table! Apply the lipstick to your bottom lip swiftly and rub your lips together. Voilà! As a lipstick ninja, no one will even notice because you will execute this with quiet grace. 

Of course, the gold standard is to excuse yourself to the powder room for a proper application. But if you wish to stay at the table, the above method is appropriate. If you use a wand-type lipstick or require a mirror, it is best to go to the ladies' powder room to avoid calling attention to yourself.

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: Leaving a ring of lipstick marks around the rim of a glass or tea/coffee cup.

What is done: Keep your lipstick mark in the same position to avoid creating a ring of shame around the rim.

No-no: Applying ANY kind of make-up at the dinner table or in the company of others. 

What is done: Politely excuse yourself to the powder room for a touch-up.

No-no: Leaving lipstick marks on a linen napkin at someone’s home. 

What to do: Blot your lips with a tissue in the powder room before dinner so that you do not make your host cringe when they see lipstick marks on their linens after you have departed. 

No-no: Touching your hair at the dinner table. 

What to do: Excuse yourself and go to the powder room for a quick comb or hair rearrangement. Sometimes, it’s just a nervous habit- so learn to refrain.

Left to right :

Clinique - Confetti Pop 38

Yves St Laurent- Rouge Pur 49 (can’t find it anymore!)

MAC- Candy Yum Yum 601 matt

Take a peek HERE at my lipstick Instagram video. Trust me, if you like vibrant pink, your lips will thank you!

 XX

Holly

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Grosgrain Ribbon: A Timeless Trim!

A simple and quietly understated 1” wide Grosgrain ribbon embellishes a dust ruffle in Palm Beach. 

What decorative trim is timeless, tailored, and not expensive? Grosgrain ribbon! It can enhance curtains, valances, upholstery, pillows, and dust ruffles. It can also adorn clothes, hair bows, hats, shoes, and ponytails.  Now, that’s a notable roster for a simple ribbon trim, wouldn’t you agree? 

Grosgrain (pronounced GROW-grain) is a versatile ribbon with a distinctive ribbed appearance that runs across it and enhances its durability. Because its textured parallel ridges have a matte finish, Grosgrain is not flashy or shiny and is more durable than satin or silk ribbons. 

Grosgrain, in the 17th century, referred to a black and durable garment fabric. In the 1920s, Grosgrain “ribbon” was introduced, and now, many colors and printed designs are available. Grosgrain ribbon has a “distinguished appearance,” which is why it continues to embellish evening wear, such as the bow on a gentleman’s formal black evening pumps.

Consider applying a 1” to 2” wide Grosgrain ribbon along the leading edge and across the bottom hemline of your curtain panels.  Choose a complementary color to the fabric design or room scheme, or choose a neutral color, like white.   

These curtain pull panels have a 1 ½” white Grosgrain ribbon applied one inch off of the leading edge of both panels.  

I specify a Grosgrain ribbon trim to be sewn about ½” to 1 ½” off the leading edges of a curtain panel. How you place it depends on the fabric's pattern, the room's height, the curtains' width, and the design scheme's formality. Two or more ribbons can be sewn as a trim on curtains, either next to one another in the same color or alternating colors, adding even more interest. Be clever and think outside of the box when designing with Grosgrain ribbon!  

I have used Samuel & Sons' Grosgrain ribbon for years for my clients' projects. Grosgrain ribbon, like the 2” width roll displayed here, can also be easily obtained online. 

I hope you will be inspired to use Grosgrain ribbon as a trim embellishment on your next design project!

Xx

Holly

PS: Please be a dear. Forward this to a friend and ask them to subscribe HERE!  

My Secret Kitchen Color Scheme!

This little nook adjoining the kitchen at Fox Hall is always filled and overflowing with family during the holidays!  I commissioned the artist to paint our son, Stuart III, with his dog Higgins. I asked the artist to make his sweater a soft blue, knowing it would always work well with our kitchen's blue-and-white color scheme.

What is my “secret” color combination for a charming, timeless, and tailored kitchen?  It’s a “blue-and-white” color scheme!  Why? It is TIMELESS!  This traditional color combination has been around for centuries, so maybe it does not qualify as “my secret,” but more of my “tried and true'' color combination for a kitchen… and other rooms, too, for that matter!

Mummy convinced me to consider a blue-and-white color scheme for my first “big-girl” house, in the kitchen.  This was sage advice for me as a young bride of 21.  She drew from her well-earned experience and encountered several rawwther unique interiors whilst moving our family over 33 times internationally. 

A blue-and-white scheme also works well with yellows, greens, reds, and even pink accents.  Our kitchen in Palm Beach, Fox Worth, has blue foo dogs and dragons as a design on the pink background wallpaper. Do you spy a pink refrigerator?! Couldn’t resist. 

 To me, the blue-and-white theme utilized in kitchens adds an air of contentment and joy, similar to a bright blue sky adorned with enchanting, puffy white clouds… a joyful, welcomed sight! Even the blue-and-white images of kitchens I share on my Instagram garner more views than any other color scheme. 

A blue-and-white kitchen will stand the test of time! 

Photo Credit: Scheffer Interiors via Instagram 

There is a universal appeal and charm of a blue-and-white color palette. It remains an enduring color combination because of its long history and staying power.  It originated on pottery in China in the Tang dynasty 618-906.  In the Yuan dynasty of 1279-1368, the cobalt blue used on pottery and porcelains became even more vibrant.  Blue-and-white porcelains arrived in Europe in the 16th century.  In the 1850s, the British were simply charmed by the appeal of a blue-and-white scheme, which became quite fashionable. (And, of course, it brightened their dark Victorian interiors!)  Impressionist artists such as Auguste Renoir sprinkled blue-and-white porcelains into their works of art.  The universal appeal and charm of blue-and-white in rooms or on porcelains continues. It is a traditional, not trendy, choice.

Please pass this advice along to a young bride, a first-home owner, or someone designing a resort house.  From my experience, it will always serve them well!

Xx

Holly

Why host back-to-back dinner parties?

We recently hosted a joyful Saturday evening dinner party in Palm Beach, bringing together a table of ten CEO.org members for a memorable gathering. We had a ball! View my latest IG reel about our party here! 

Why host back-to-back dinner parties? Sometimes consecutive parties are worthy of your efforts for a few reasons. 

On another evening, we hosted a more intimate dinner for six guests. 

Stuart and I occasionally host two dinners back to back because we either can’t fit two parties into our travel plans, to accommodate the demands of holiday schedules, or to adjust to our guests’ availability. 

While it might initially sound daunting, there are several unique benefits to holding parties in succession, if ever you need to: 

1. The silver is polished

2. The flowers are arranged

3. Your house is tidied up

4. You can cook or cater enough for two nights, so whatever you are serving will all be made in advance

5. The wine is purchased, the bar is stocked

6. You can invite twice as many guests as you can sit at your table

Arranging flowers a few days before any party allows the blossoms to open up and look their best.

 Serving a lobster bisque or crab chowder tends to be a welcomed first course. 

One benefit of two parties in a row is that after the first party, all you need to do is set the table again! And yes, it helps to have a server or staff to clean the glasses, dishes and launder and press the linens, but after the second party, you can then sit back (or collapse!) and celebrate your accomplishment!

Friends are a gift you give yourself. If your situation requires you to host two consecutive parties, it’s not so bad… you’ll double the gift of being with friends!

Xx 

Holly

PS: Please invite a friend to subscribe here! Thank you for your kind and enthusiastic support. It was such a joy to attend the Cancer Alliance Luncheon at the Breakers Hotel last week, where many of you came up to introduce yourselves as subscribers… my sincerest THANK YOU!

Hidden Beauty: Transform space under furniture for timeless elegance!

Ahh, Symmetry! Not only are decorative porcelains presented on this lovely English hall console table, but underneath, the pair of blue vases and a handsome antique Georgian cellarette (wine holder) enhance the entire composition. 

Photo Source: whimsicalhomeandgarden.com via Pinterest

We often overlook the hidden potential lying beneath our furniture! With a touch of creativity, these overlooked areas can be transformed into elegant spaces that enhance the overall aesthetic of any interior.

Learning from ‘the best of the best’ has always inspired me. My television series aimed to show masterpiece and privately owned houses. Their interiors feature time-honored decorative techniques. Touring exceptional houses can enhance your ability to decipher the difference between an innocuous-designed, trendy-trite interior from a timelessly elegant interior that is charming, inviting, and memorable.  

Always strive to buy in pairs for balance and symmetry; this vignette is a prime example!  The pair of Chinese blue and white garden stools underneath the attractive English table can also be utilized for extra seating.  

Photo source: Lusterineterors.blogspot.com.au via Pinterest

Vignette designed by Rosa Bernal

I discerned a clever decorative technique while filming an episode with Lady Henrietta Spencer-Churchill inside the Private Apartments at Blenheim Palace in Oxfordshire, England, and it left an indelible impression on me: utilize the unused space under a piece of furniture!  

In Blenheim Palace, at the end of a long hallway on the piano nobile (Italian for “noble floor”), a graceful console table features a collection of blue and white porcelain on top and underneath it. The three blue and white vases gracing the floor, enhance the vignette elegantly. 

This is a prime example of how porcelain can enhance art. The soft blue hues in Consuelo Vanderbilt's dress complement the blue and white porcelain collection, which cannot be seen here due to the cameramen and equipment while we were filming…. a good reason to visit Blenheim Palace to discover more examples like this!

So, look around your house for unused real estate under a table, console, sideboard, or highboy, and be inspired! Here are a few decorative suggestions to consider using:  

~ bust, statue, or sculpture

~ Chinese porcelain footbath

~ cachepot filled with plants or flowers

~ stack of large coffee-table books

~ ottoman or a pair of benches; both can be used for extra seating

~ cellarette (wine holder)

~ collection of vases

~ Chinese garden stools

Just outside our Hunt Room at Fox Hall, a bronze sculpture jumped underneath the antique American card table!  

Grandmillennial Tip:

If you have small children or a rambunctious dog, heavy sculptures, benches, and books work well as decorative elements on the floor instead of porcelain pieces, which can easily be broken! 

Xx

Holly

PS 

Roses are red, 
violets are blue, 
you are the sweetest subscriber,
and, I thank YOU! 
Happy Valentine’s Day!

It is almost Galentine’s and Valentine’s Day- two of our most favorite holidays!💕 We decided to join forces (Holly Holden/ Dress for Cocktails) to give you and your best gal a gift to celebrate!💗 Click here and enter my IG giveaway! 
 

A no-no for gentlemen!

This is a no-no, gentlemen!

Gentlemen, take note! 

I was unaware of the term “HIP” (Hands in Pockets) until William Mikus, a fellow Board member and the former Chair of the Salvation Army of Palm Beach County, introduced me to this concept. We were seated together at the Salvation Army holiday luncheon. The HIP topic sparked interest within our entire table. I invited him to share his thoughts as a guest contributor… so I will pass along his insightful and witty perspective!

The HIP Phenomenon: A Trend Among Men

“Recently, I noticed men walking into private clubs and fine dining restaurants with their hands in their pockets (HIP). At first, I didn’t pay much attention. But soon, I realized this phenomenon was everywhere, much like the “Red Car Theory,” which explains how something seems to appear everywhere, once you start noticing it!

The Many Types of HIP Offenders

There are many types of Hands-In-Pockets offenders. There’s the younger man, often handsome but unsure of himself. Then there are the lazy, slouchy types, the timid, the socially anxious and awkward, and those lacking self-awareness. These men have not been properly coached on how to present themselves.

HIP causes shoulders to sag and heads to droop—a posture that exudes servility, no matter how attractive or intelligent the individual is.

The solution, gentlemen?

Keep your hands visible! (Perhaps, have a tailor sew your pockets shut!) My critique of HIP isn’t arbitrary; it’s rooted in thousands of years of evolutionary behavior. Historically, keeping one’s hands visible and at the ready was essential for self-defense, and perhaps, for protecting a fair maiden from sudden danger. Whether faced with a drunken lout or a wild dog, readiness is paramount.

Now, step into a room with your jacket buttoned (always wear a jacket), shoulders back, and head held high. Pause briefly to scan your surroundings, allowing everyone to admire your commanding and confident presence. Then, walk with the dignity of a leader… think Caesar returning triumphantly from Gaul. Just saying!"

William J. Mikus, Palm Beach- Managing Director of Dakota Wealth Management.  

In conclusion, it is not just about looking good… it is about embodying confidence and self-assurance. Thank you, Bill, for sharing your HIP observation. 

So, gentlemen, hands OUT of your pockets! 

Xx

Holly

PS: Please be a darling and share this with someone you think may benefit from knowing about HIP!

Proper protocol for what to do with your cocktail glass before dinner!

After a champagne celebration at Fox Hall, we adjourned to the dining room, while our guests left their glasses behind in the living room.

A friend’s daughter recently asked me what she should do with her glass after cocktail hour when attending a private dinner party. Here are some tips on the gracious way to handle it.

At a Private Home Dinner Party:

Unless the host specifically invites you to bring your drink to the dinner table, always leave it in the room where the cocktail hour was held. Place your glass on a cocktail napkin on a table or, if there is a butler or wait staff with a tray, either in the room or stationed at the entrance to the dining room, gently place your glass on their tray. 

At a Private Club or Restaurant:

If you're enjoying a cocktail at the bar or in a reception area, a waiter or maitre d’ should offer to escort you to your table and bring your drink to you. Or, if you prefer, you may leave your drink behind. It’s best to follow your host’s lead in this case.

At a Large Reception:

Observe the host and follow their example. Often, there will be a table where you can place your drink as you leave the cocktail reception, or you can place it on a server’s tray. If it’s a business gathering, again, it’s best to take your cues from the host.

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To ask for a different wine than the one being served at a private dinner party, or anywhere you are a guest. If white wine is being served and you prefer red, simply abstain from drinking the white. If the host notices you’re not drinking and specifically asks if you’d prefer something different, then it’s acceptable to mention your preference.

You are invited to peek at my Instagram video here. Cheers to you for being a gracious guest! 

Xx 

Holly

PS: Please be a dear and invite a friend to subscribe HERE! 

Silver Cloth

“Everything tastes better when served on silver!” That is the advice Mummy gave me as a young bride. I have always had a penchant for entertaining with silver… I imagine my grandmother and parents passed this gene down to me. 

Keeping silver polished? It is a labor of love! It brings to mind the old saying, "Tarnish?! What in tarnation?!“

BUT, I have a secret technique to share with you. It will help to keep the tarnish at bay! I highly recommend purchasing tarnish-preventative flannel cloth by the yard.  It helps to keep tarnish away while storing silver. Buy enough fabric to cover the tops and undersides of your pieces. I tuck my silver serving pieces into the safety of their little non-tarnish beds. I line the inside of a few drawers in the butler’s pantry with enough extra fabric to pull over the top of them and tuck them in! Here is an Amazon LINK. 

Do not be tempted to wash this tarnish-preventative fabric, or you’ll wash away the tarnish-preventing qualities! 

You can also cut pieces big enough to cover pieces you leave out when you travel or are away for extended periods. For example, a candelabra, large tureens, or even a medley of silver picture frames. Buy enough yardage to cut and drape over your pieces. Or buy premade bags.  

Silver pieces can also be wrapped in acid-free tissue paper and placed in a ziploc bag.  Another secret is adding a piece of chalk (like school blackboard chalk!) to the bag. The chalk will help keep the tarnish and humidity down. 

Tarnish-free strips are available online and can be added to flatware and jewelry boxes.  

The Royal Butler, Grant Harrold, and I had an interview together HERE in England. He suggests polishing your silver, tightly wrapping it in plastic wrap, and storing it in a cool place.  As long as it is tightly wrapped, tarnish will not occur, and it will be as bright as the day you wrapped it… easy peasy!  Thank you, Grant! 

Serve something on silver tonight… and see if it doesn’t taste better!  

Xx 

Holly

PS Please be a dear and share these secrets with some friends. Perhaps they will subscribe, too! 

A Coaster Conundrum: When should you use a coaster for a drink?

Coasters come in all shapes, sizes, and designs. When should you offer a coaster to your guests?

A young subscriber asked me, “As a hostess, when do I need to offer a coaster, and when do I not need to?!”

Oh, this is fun because decorative coasters are a popular gift in the world of pretty accessories… but gift shops will probably not like my answer!

Any glass WITH a stem, such as a wine, champagne, or port glass, do NOT need a coaster! 

A glass WITHOUT a stem, such as a highball, beer glass, or a tall ice tea glass, does require a coaster. Why? Cold drinks, especially with ice cubes, can create condensation and drip onto the surface where they are resting, leaving a watermark… especially on wood or leather-topped tables! 

One of the engraved silver coasters I inherited from Mummy continues to be used under the iced stemless glass for drinks in the living room, and for iced water on the dining room table. 

Coasters are thought to protect your table from scratches, yet the base of a stemmed glass will not scratch your table (and it is doubtful that a cocktail glass would either).  So, as a hostess, relax; scratches will not happen from a stemmed glass!

My rule of thumb? A coaster should be offered only to guests with STEMLESS glasses!  

When a cocktail napkin is offered, and you wish to set your drink down, it can be placed under a stemmed glass as a matched set until you pick it up again. (The cocktail napkin would be placed beside the coaster for a stemless glass.) 

Silver wine coasters are a charming way to dress your dining table appropriately to hold a bottle of wine or decanter. The bottom of most wine coasters continue to have a soft felt bottom… in case you wish to “coast” your wine down the table! 

The history of the “coaster” is intriguing! The term “coaster” was coined with reference to ships, referred to as “coasters,” going coast to coast in the 1700s. In well-to-do European houses, a custom started in the mid-1700s when a “coaster” was used to slide or “coast” a bottle of wine or a decanter across the dining room table on a tray (made of silver or wood) to late-night guests to serve themselves libations after the staff had retired for the evening. The tray had a soft fabric applied to the bottom to slide or “coast” across the wood table surface  (without a tablecloth) easily.  

And on a personal note, my heart goes out to all those in LA who have lost their homes in the devastating and catastrophic fires. I’m so terribly sorry and have you in my heartfelt prayers and send my love. 

Xx Holly

PS: My Instagram “coaster” video is HERE.   Please be a dear and inspire a friend to subscribe by forwarding this letter to them. 

The Timeless Charm of Handwritten Thank-You Notes: Gratitude in Words

Bespoke stationery makes for a thoughtful gift, perfect for family, friends, or newlyweds. I take great joy in selecting from my collection of writing paper, which I've accumulated over the years.

With the holidays now behind us, it’s the perfect time to pick up your pen and acknowledge your gratitude to those who thoughtfully gave you a gift. While sending a quick “thank-you email” might seem like the easiest option, consider forgoing the “digital quick fix“ in favor of something much more personal: a handwritten thank-you note! In today’s fast-paced world, this timeless gesture is a rare and thoughtful treasure for the recipient. 

There’s something undeniably special about receiving a handwritten note in your mailbox, surrounded by bills and junk mail, don’t you agree?! It appears like a GIFT!

The effort you put into writing and mailing the note reflects the appreciation you feel for the recipient’s kindness. It is a personal, tangible way of expressing gratitude. I’ve kept and cherish many notes I have received over the years.

Here are some traditional, tried and true guidelines for writing a thank-you note: 

Ink & Writing Instrument:

Ideally, use a fountain pen with blue or black ink. I personally enjoy using pink ink for dear friends. It’s a bit less formal, but still elegant. If you don’t own a fountain pen, a rolling ball pen is a sophisticated alternative to a standard ballpoint.

From fine point to bold, I enjoy choosing from various nibs on my fountain pens for my notes.

Timing:

Aim to write and send your thank-you note within 48 hours of receiving a gift or hospitality. While this 48-hour rule tends to be more lenient nowadays, it’s important to send your note as soon as possible… just make the effort!

Personalization:

A meaningful thank-you note goes beyond just the words “thank you.” Be specific about why you’re grateful. Mention how you plan to use the gift, or explain what made their hospitality so memorable. 

Here are a few old-school references to know:

A “Bread-and-Butter” Note:

A term often used to describe a thank-you note sent after a dinner party or for hospitality. It's a nod to the tradition of being thankful for the simple but important gestures of kindness.

Writing Paper:

In England, stationery, or notepaper, is referred to as writing paper—a charming, old-fashioned British term.

A line through your name:

Drawing a line through your name when a title is indicated (Mr., Mrs., Dr., Countess, etc.) is an old-school nod indicating that you are on more personal and less formal terms with the recipient. 

Forbidden Faux Pas: 

No-no: To buy writing paper or a card with the words "thank you" printed on the front. The message of appreciation should come from you, not the stationery/card company! 

No-no: To write a note with the first sentence starting with the word "I.” This gives the impression that you are more important than the person you are writing to.

No-no: To write your note with "Thank you" as the first two words. Instead, make an effort to share your delight and explain what you are thanking the recipient for, and then express your thanks.

No-no: To think that an email thank-you note is a sufficient expression of gratitude after attending a dinner party. The time and effort a hostess (or host) puts into a party for your pleasure should inspire you to hand write a thank-you note and share your sincere recognition with them. 

No-no: ​To think brides have up to one year to write a thank-you note (according to etiquette books). A thoughtful bride will send a thank-you note within three months of receiving a wedding gift.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

GrandMillennial Tips:

For Young Children:

For little ones who can’t yet write a thank-you note, a creative way to express gratitude is through their artwork. Parents can help by sending a piece of their child’s creation to the recipient. It’s a simple but meaningful gesture that conveys love and appreciation, and it's sure to warm the recipient’s heart! 

A Personal Touch:

If the recipient lives nearby, consider hand-delivering your thank-you note. There's something uniquely endearing about seeing “By hand” written on the corner of an envelope and is such a thoughtful touch!

In 2025, the timeless charm of handwriting thank-you notes may seem old-fashioned. However, in an era of instant communication, a handwritten note stands out as a true gesture of thoughtfulness and appreciation. It is a timeless way to show someone you value them, and it will undoubtedly be treasured far longer than a digital message!

Happy New Year Wishes! 

To my incredibly talented and clever team—Kristen, Sabrena, Jenn, and Whitney—thank you for making the magic happen behind the scenes for my SLL letters and Instagram posts. Your creativity and dedication is pure JOY. I am so grateful for each of you! 

And to you, my dear readers and sponsors, I want you to know just how much I appreciate your continued support. Your encouragement means the world to me; you have helped “lovely living” grow internationally. Thank you! I look forward to meeting more of you in 2025! 

Xx 

Holly 

The Magic of Candlelight: Merry and Bright!

Rejoice for Candlelight! Candlelight symbolizes joy, romance, tranquility, and merriment. Christmas and the start of Hanukkah fall on the same day this year, December 25, 2024, so the topic of “candles” seems fitting. They have long been integral in celebrations, playing an essential part in the rituals of both Christmas and Hanukkah, and continue to have a magical essence while entertaining. 

A handsome Georgian Irish oval, candlelit mirror, c.1790, from Fileman Antiques, England., has transcended time with its classical design.

This holiday season, let's light more candles! They have a unique ability to create significant moments, transforming any gathering into something brilliant and celebratory. From churches to dinner parties and even atop birthday cakes, candles have been part of our celebrations for over 5,000 years.

As my Mummy always said, “A candlelit dinner magically becomes more memorable!” As a young bride, she shared a secret with me: “Candlelight makes whatever you’re serving taste even better!” That was a golden nugget; it has served me well for fifty years! 

Here is a candle secret for you for your dinner table! My dear friend, Janice Q. from Palm Beach, shared: "Candles should be tall enough that the flame is above your guests’ faces, so it doesn’t cast shadows. Holly, if you don’t believe me, try lighting a candle in a dark room and look at yourself in the mirror. The higher you place it, the better you’ll look!" I did, and guess what? She is right… an easy and magical way of flattering everyone at the table. Tonight, give it a whirl with taller candles! 

A Georgian, candlelit gilt girandole in the dining room at Fox Hall reflects the crystal chandelier in the distance.

GrandMillenial Tips

-Beware of air conditioning or open window breezes, which can wreak havoc on lit candles. I learned this lesson the hard way. An A/C vent in our Palm Beach home blew downward on the dining room wall sconces, causing the wax to drip onto the silk seats of a pair of Hepplewhite chairs. Let’s just say it was a rawwwther expensive dinner party!

Our dinner guest, the Duchess of Rutland, Emma Manners, in our dining room in Palm Beach, discussing the color on the ceiling. (Can you spy the vexing A/C vent above us?)

-Place your candles in front of a mirror to double the effect of your candles. This technique has been used for centuries to create a stunning visual display. Edith Wharton once said, “There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or… the mirror that reflects it.” While filming my television series with Lady Henrietta Spencer-Churchill, I marveled at the candlelit candelabras in front of a pair of pier mirrors placed between the windows in the private dining room at Blenheim Palace. You can see this in the PBS television series I hosted here. 

-For candle wax mishaps on your table, don’t fret! A rubber pancake spatula is forgiving and perfect for scraping wax drips off. It's a small trick that can save you from scratching your table with a knife.

A Forbidden Faux Pas

No-no: To have a white, unblackened wick on a candle. An old-school secret tradition I was taught is that candles should always have their “white wick” blackened before installing them in a candlestick holder, candelabra, or chandelier. This small but traditional secret detail indicates that a candle isn’t just for show— it is meant to be used.

Why are white or ivory candles still the most appropriate choice for formal settings? The reason behind this dates back to candle history. Candles were initially made from tallow (animal fat or oils), but beeswax was introduced in the Middle Ages as a more refined alternative. Beeswax candles have a natural honey color, but they were sun-bleached to a pale shade to make them more affordable. Due to their higher cost, white and ivory candles were considered luxurious and used primarily in noble residences, palaces, and churches. Today, white candles continue to evoke elegance and tradition, making them the perfect choice for any occasion. They are my candle color of choice. 

Embrace the beauty of candlelight, creating a festive and joyful atmosphere. May your holidays be merry and bright... with even more candlelight!

Thank you, dear ones, for your continued support and encouragement. I am genuinely grateful to all of you! 

Xx 

Holly

PS: What a gift if you could kindly inspire just one new friend to subscribe!

"Holly-Day" Dinner Parties: How to be the hostess with the mostess!

Fox Hall, during the Christmas season, is magical, merry, and bright, especially in candlelight. My dear grandchildren decorated the table for this dinner party, hence the army of nutcrackers… I didn't know I had so many! 

The holidays are upon us, so here are some of my secrets for creating memories that are merry and bright for your guests! Hosting a dinner party (or inviting houseguests to stay over) is the best way to make your house sparkle… and a clever nudge to get all of the silver polished!

Unlock your front door and adhere a small card outside on the door, inviting guests to enter the house without knocking. I always write: “Please, do come in!” This way, they do not feel obliged to stand in the cold elements of Connecticut until the door is answered. 

Do your very best to greet each guest at the door. And vice versa. At the end of the evening, walk them to the door to say goodbye. 

Offer ladies to place their purses down on a chair or table, if they wish to.

Before your event, ask if your guests have any food dislikes or allergies, or if they are vegetarians. It's always better to know in advance and be prepared!

You may have guests who prefer non-alcoholic drinks; be sure to have something else to serve them. One of our friends adores ginger beer, a non-alcoholic drink that I keep on hand for him. 

The festive “holly” embellished linens were a hostess gift from a dear friend. I think of her every time I use them in December. This is a lovely gift-giving idea to remember!

Write your guest’s names on their placecards and take time to decide, when you have a moment, the best seating plan for conversation among your guests. The Gentleman guest of honor is seated to the right of the hostess. The Lady guest of honor is seated to the right of the host.  

Replenish your candlesticks, if they are less than halfway down, with new white candles. Remember, always to blacken the wicks… this is an old-school tradition! Blackened wicks indicate that you know candles are not just decorative accessories; they are used. 

Lower the lights in the evening, and remember, candlelight is not only romantic but also enhances everyone’s appearance AND makes everything taste better, too!

Wine bottles are either placed on a wine coaster or, more formally, poured into crystal decanters. Traditionally, a bottle of wine or decanter is placed on either end of the dining room table. My book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room, discusses this tradition in more detail. 

If there is no waitstaff, the host pours the wine. But if the host is in deep conversation or busy, any gentleman guest may take it upon himself to pour the wine for guests seated next to him, serving others before he serves himself.

For large parties, with guests that have never been to your house, have a little card indicating “Powder Room” on the door. It is thoughtful, especially if it is next to another door you don’t want anyone to enter. Guests do not want to have to ask. 

If you plan to have a fire in the fireplace, ensure your house remains cool enough that your guests, especially those seated near the fireplace, do not swelter from the heat.

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: A centerpiece that is so high that it restricts guests' views of one another. Keep your centerpieces low so your guests can enjoy their conversation and have eye contact across the table with other guests.  

No-no: To have your dog or cat greet your guests. Your pets should be put away in another room. Not everyone is an animal lover, and some people may have allergies or be afraid of animals. (Miss Zsa Zsa, our Jack Russell Terrier, does not concur with this no-no!) 

No-no: To place your phone on the dining room table. If a guest has a babysitter or needs to be on call, they should tell the hostess they may need access to their phone and place it in their pocket or lap (with vibration on, no ringer).

No-no: Playing music too loud.  If dinner music is played, it should be so soft that everyone can carry on a normal conversation. Nothing is more disturbing than being unable to carry on a civilized conversation and being forced to raise one’s voice due to the overzealous sound of music. (We have all experienced that dreadful challenge at wedding receptions!)

May the joyful sound of laughter and merriment fill your house this season. Cheers! 

Xx

Holly

PS: My Equestrian Collection, a five piece premium, dishwasher safe porcelain, is on a “secret give-away” sale price. Take a peek at www.ShopHollyHolden.com. What a splendid gift, if I do say so myself, for anyone who appreciates anything horsey!

For an inscribed gift copy of my first book, place your order on Amazon soon!