After a little champagne celebration at Fox Hall, Stuart and I adjourned to the dining room while leaving the empty glasses behind in the living room.
Recently, I received a question from Gaye, whom I met at a signing event for my first book, the Pretty & Proper Living Room, which was hosted by my favorite store, Lori Jayne in Palm Beach. Gaye offered me a treasure trove of topics to delve into! I shall share one of them with you today. Even though we are all not attending dinner parties and receptions during this time of social distancing, we continue to be in eager anticipation of them, non?
Is bringing your drink from a cocktail reception hour to the dinner table a faux pas?
Oh, I adore the Southerners who give me their suggestions and questions...old-world gentility at its best! Most of us are probably imbibing more than usual with the current state of quarantine, whilst carefreely taking our wine or cocktail glasses just about anywhere in the house we may venture. But, when we are back in a polished entertaining form, here are suggestions of what one does with their drink at various social venues after the cocktail hour:
Dinner Party:
Yes, it is a faux pas at a private dinner party to bring your drink from the cocktail hour to the dining room table. Place it on the cocktail napkin that you have been given and leave it in the room where you were enjoying cocktail hour. It there is a butler or server at the doorway as you leave the room, or stationed at the entrance to the dining room with a tray in hand, your drink may be placed upon their tray.
Whether it is wine, champagne, or a cocktail, drinks should always be left behind in the room where you gathered for cocktails. An exception to this is if the hostess suggests to her guests that they may bring their drink to the table.
After a spectacular day in Paris, Stuart and I had a few divine sips of wine in Bar 228, at Le Meurice Hôtel in Paris. When our table was ready, the waiter carried our drinks into the dining room, Le Meurice Alain Ducasse, and served them to us at our table.
Elegant Club or Restaurant:
If you are enjoying a cocktail at the bar or in a reception area and the waiter or maitre d’ arrives to escort you to your table, they should offer to bring your drink to the table for you. The waiter will collect the drinks on a tray, and then proceed to serve them back to you at the table. Or, if you wish, you may decide not to take the drink with you. It’s best to follow the lead of your host.
Fundraiser or large reception:
I make the effort to observe the host of the event and follow their lead. Usually, there is a table upon departing the reception room where one may place their drink.
If it is a business gathering, quite often, bringing your drink with you from the reception to the dining table is acceptable.
A semi-formal or formal event:
It is most appropriate to discard your drink on a side table, or upon a server’s tray, when the cocktail hour adjourns before you enter the dining reception room.
Forbidden Faux Pas
No-no: If you are attending a private dinner party, to ask for a different wine than the one being served at the dinner table. If white wine is being served, but you prefer red, simply abstain from drinking the red! If the host notices that you are not drinking and specifically asks if you would prefer something different, then it is acceptable to suggest that you prefer red or white, depending on the situation.
No-no: At a private dinner, to bring your drink to the dining room table, unless the hostess invites you to do so.