At my wedding reception, Mummy made sure that champagne was offered to our guests waiting in the receiving line, which is a brilliant way to start the festivities!
A receiving line is such a lovely tradition, purposely created for the opportunity for hosts, and the guest of honor, or the bride and groom, to meet each guest attending their party or reception!
Receiving lines are certainly not passé as some may think but are actually quite stylish. In fact, a receiving line is de rigueur (required etiquette) for a majority of regal, military or formal official celebrations. Having a receiving line at receptions, weddings, funerals, and even luncheons, is a brilliant and gracious way of enabling the guests to shake hands and introduce themselves to the hosts, thank them, wish them well or offer condolences. I encourage you to consider having a receiving line when there are more than fifty guests invited.
From luncheons to fund-raising receptions at Fox Hall, our two daughters’ weddings, as well as our own wedding reception in Richmond, Virginia, I highly recommend having a receiving line. It’s a truly jolly way to commence any festive occasion!
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A traditional receiving line always precedes the gala dinner benefit for The Versailles Foundation, Inc. Gala Dinner in New York City.
For a formal, regal or military receiving line, quite often there is an "announcer" at the start of the line who does not shake your hand, but listens to your name, which you clearly enunciate. Then, the announcer will present you to the host, to whom you do shake hands with, and the host then introduces you to the guest of honor or person next to them. It is best to check the protocol for any military function.
In lieu of an announcer, the hostess/host of the event is the first in line to greet the guests and will introduce each guest to the guest of honor. Memory can fail, no matter how dear of a friend the host may be, so kindly announce your name and continue to repeat your name to each person you shake hands with in the line!
The host and guest of honor receiving line should consist of no more than 5-6 people. It is a kind and necessary gesture, as a guest, to only say a sentence or two while going through the receiving line, as others are waiting behind you. It is not the time to have a conversation, no matter how tempting it may be! Simply say your name and "how do you do?" to the host, or express your happiness to have been invited. Then, promptly move on to the next person in line, repeat your name and keep the receiving line moving. A lady guest will precede a gentleman guest when going through the line. A reminder when meeting royalty: ladies curtsy and gentlemen bow their heads.
How long does this all take? Well, the approximate time is 20 seconds for each guest, and the average time for 100 guests to go through a receiving line is 30-45 minutes. For 200 guests, it is 45-60 minutes. It may be impossible for a host or guest of honor to meet all 100 guests without a receiving line, so that is just another reason to have one! It is perfectly acceptable to end the receiving line after 45 minutes.
If the receiving line is too long, it is apropos to mingle with other guests, and then, return back to the receiving line. It is thoughtful to have an appointed person to direct guests where they should go after the receiving line, for their well-earned libations! It is also appropriate to have a glass of water discreetly placed behind the guest of honor to sip upon as needed.
Hosting fifty ladies at Fox Hall for a celebratory luncheon to honor Lady Carnarvon from Highclere Castle (aka Downton Abbey) as the guest speaker for May Market at the Hill-Stead Museum, was the perfect opportunity to have a receiving line in our front hall!
Forbidden Faux Pas
No-no: For a guest to have a drink or any food in hand when going through a receiving line.
What is done: A guest may place their drink on a table, usually provided near the beginning of the receiving line, before the guest shakes hands. The guest may collect their drink after the receiving line, or go to get another.
No-no: An unenthusiastic, no eye-contact, limp handshake greeting from those in the receiving line (host and guest of honor) meeting the guests.
What is done: No matter how long the line is, as the host or guest of honor, try your best to give the same genuine enthusiasm, smile and firm handshake to each guest that you meet, making the last guest in line feel as celebrated as the first!
No-no: Wearing sunglasses while shaking hands.
What is done: Remove your sunglasses, and squint if necessary! When creating the placement of the receiving line, it is beneficial to take the sun into consideration so that it is not directly in anyone's eyes.
No-no: Cell phones in hand, or not silenced.