It can be a challenge to know how to address an envelope correctly, depending on title, rank, or whether a lady is married, divorced, or single...the list goes on and on. The same holds true in knowing the correct salutation to use in regard to rank and title.
When addressing an envelope to a couple, traditionally the rule of thumb is that a man's name is never separated from his last name. For example, the correct way to address my husband and me is:
Mr. and Mrs. R. Stuart Holden
Be aware that rank and title will change the order of the names for a married couple. If the woman outranks her husband with a professional or educational degree, and uses her title socially, then she goes first when addressing a married couple. For example:
Dr. Holly Holden and Mr. R. Stuart Holden
Without a title, such as Mr. and Mrs., the names are listed with the woman's name first:
Holly and Stuart Holden
So, just remember that ladies go first, and then men, followed by the children.
Formally, when addressing an envelope to a married lady, you would use her husband's name:
Mrs. R. Stuart Holden
But these days, it is appropriate to use:
Mrs. Holly Holden
You can imagine which way I prefer… using my husband's name!
A single lady, or a married lady who has kept her maiden name, are best addressed as Ms. versus Miss. But, for a girl 18 and under, Miss can still be used.
For the salutation on a note to a married couple:
Formal: Dear Mr. and Mrs. Holden
Informal: Dear Holly and Stuart (ladies first!)
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Forbidden Faux Pas
No-no: When addressing an envelope, using the words “To” or “From” for the addresses. The placement of the address and the return address on the envelope indicates who the note is to and from!