Please, Do Come In!
A little hand-written note like this is a thoughtful way to let your party guests know that they may enter the house and not wait outside until someone answers the door!
As always, I am grateful for your subscribership to MMM! Thank you for your thoughtful questions. They serve to inspire me for new topics, like this one, which I received last week:
“If you are hosting a bridal shower or the like, and someone says they’d like a tour of your house… what do you say? It seems very rude, to me, to ask such a thing. Am I wrong in thought?? I’d love YOUR thoughts on this.”
While it may be considered impolite to pose such a question, it can also be interpreted as a compliment to the homeowner! Keep in mind that your darling guests are not trying to offend you; quite the opposite. You have created a beautiful and inviting house, and they only wish to see more, as odd as that might seem. But, if you choose not to take them on a tour, my suggested responses are:
“I was so focused on preparing for this event that I am afraid the rest of the house is not ready for a tour today, but perhaps another time?!”
“I cannot show you that area of the house today, but let me show you… the verandah!”
A similar situation: Our former nanny is now married and living in a grand house on a lake outside of Minneapolis. It still boasts the reputation of the famous owner who had previously lived there. When she hosts large cocktail fundraising events, inevitably, guests are inquisitive and begin to stray away on their own to explore areas she would prefer them not to venture into. She asked me how to discourage guests, whom she doesn’t know, from wandering about and exploring bedrooms.
I, too, can relate to this situation. Before Covid, when hosting fundraising events at Fox Hall (when I may not personally know all of the guests), on a few occasions I have glanced up the staircase to see a rogue guest on their way up to the Ballroom, inviting themselves to discover it on the third floor!
While I adore sharing the history of our 1803 house and giving tours, I invite guests to join me on a tour on my timeframe, when I can accompany them.
A few Staffordshire dogs work well as a deterrent during large, fundraising events... as long as Miss Zsa Zsa doesn’t try to eat them or play with them as fellow canines!
One way to discourage wandering guests is to hang a small ribbon across the stairway or place two chairs in the hallway with a ribbon tied between them. Placing a vase with flowers on the floor or on a table in the center of a doorway is also an attractive deterrent. Sometimes I even like to assemble a few porcelain pieces, such as my ‘fur-ocious’ Staffordshire dogs, on one of the staircase steps. Guests instinctively understand what these attractive “roadblocks” are meant to indicate… well, hopefully, they will!
I am interested to hear what discreet “roadblocks” you have used and which ones have worked well for you?
My husband, Stuart, moved the pumpkin to the center of our front door momentarily, while he was potting the two holly bushes. I looked at it and thought this may be a subtle way to display the pumpkin on Halloween to indicate no trick-or-treating during this crazy Covid time.
Grandmillennial Tip:
The opposite of keeping guests out of certain areas is to invite them to come in! When hosting a party, I place a small note on the unlocked front door which reads: “Please, do come in!” I try not to have guests standing outside waiting for someone to open the door, especially with the inclement weather in New England!
If you watch the Netflix series, Emily in Paris, in Season 1, Episode 8, Emily visits a lovely family chateau in Reims, the Champagne region of France. Upon meeting the Madame, Emily says, “Oh, the chateau is so beautiful, I’d love a tour!” The response from Madame was, "We don’t give tours of the chateau, we live here! If you’d like a vineyard tour there is one in 30 minutes."
P.S. I received several inquiries about the wall paint color for the "porcelain wallpaper" in our Butler's Pantry. It is a flat latex, in Benjamin Moore #805 ‘New York City State of Mind!'