On the door to our Hunt Room at Fox Hall, we have two references to George Washington, the larger one featuring his handsome grey horse, Blueskin.
"Every action done in company, ought to be done with some sign of respect to those that are present.” This is the first rule in 110 Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation, and is a welcome reminder for kindness, especially in today’s society.
As an exercise in penmanship as a teenager, George Washington copied, in abbreviated form, the 110 Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation. The rules were based on the French Jesuits, who originally composed them in the late 16th century. These maxims played a role in shaping the character of our first President of the United States. He took them to heart. These rules were generally thought to be aristocratic, yet Washington interpreted them as decent behavior appropriate for our budding new nation, for equals and near equals. They still hold true today, so I chose a few to share with you. The clever wording is rather amusing, too!
A peek at a few of the 110 rules:
4. In the presence of others, sing not to yourself with a humming noise, nor drum with your fingers or feet.
(This can be applicable to ringing or vibrating cell phones too, right?!)
5. If you cough, sneeze, sigh, or yawn, do it not loud but privately; and speak not in your yawning, but put your handkerchief or hand before your face and turn aside.
(Sneezing into one’s elbow/arm is now acceptable and encouraged!)
15. Keep your nails clean and short, also your hands and teeth clean yet without showing any great concern for them.
(To discuss the bleaching of your teeth or the act of filing your nails in public is a no-no.)
38. In visiting the sick, do not presently play the physician if you do not know therein.
(But, offering homemade chicken soup is always appreciated!)
68. ….Give not advice without being asked, and when desired, do it briefly.
(My in-laws were stellar examples of not giving advice or opinions to my husband and me unless they were asked. It is an admirable quality, and one I am still learning from and try to emulate!)
The dining room at Mount Vernon, George Washington’s home in Alexandria, Virginia. Can you imagine the conversations that transpired around this table, along with the civil manners? Photo source: @mount_vernon
With table manners in mind before Easter Sunday:
97. Put not another bit into your mouth till the former is swallowed. Let not your morsels be too big for the jowls.
(Oh dear, no one wants jowls, no matter what!)
98. Drink not nor talk with your mouth full; neither gaze about you while you are drinking.
(Eating with your mouth open is never a good idea!)
99. Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after drinking, wipe your lips...
( I don’t have “leisurely control” when savoring a coffee milkshake, but I do wipe my lips!)
100. Cleanse not your teeth with the table cloth napkin, fork, or knife; but if others do it, let it be done without a peep to them.
(I would be guilty of “peeping” if my children ever did this!)
Lastly, the rule that contributes to the core essence of civility:
110. Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.
Respect, courtesy, humility, and a good conscience contribute to enriching one’s life with honor. These guidelines of behavior and general courtesies remain relevant today… let’s pay them forward!
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