The quintessential guide to classic interior design, elegant entertaining & a genteel lifestyle.
(formerly Mummy's Monday Manners)
On a warm summer's evening, dining on our veranda at Fox Hall c. 1803, is simply magical!
Stuart and I adore entertaining. Friends are a gift you give yourself! Our goal is to have a jovial time while catching up with our darling friends by sharing stories and laughing together over dinner. I truly savor the preparation, from arranging the flowers (either from our garden or store-bought), to deciding the menu, setting the table, and cooking. To me, while as time-consuming as it is to cook, it is my way of showing my love to our precious friends and family. I am most grateful to be able to do this. That being said, Stuart contributes by placing the appropriate glasses on the table and being in charge of the wine and libations for the event. He always excels at showing “his love” with this task…a “jolly time” is guaranteed!
True confession: serving and cleaning up is something that I do not enjoy! When we host an intimate party of six or more, Stuart and I have always agreed that it makes our evening more enjoyable to have help to serve and clean up. This is a gift to ourselves! We are able to relax after all of our preparations and enjoy the evening. Delightfully, we can “be in the moment” and give our full attention to our guests. We are most grateful to be able to have help. It was a decision we made the moment we could afford it, and to you, dear grandmillennials, consider doing this too for your parties.
For Alexandra’s 40th birthday dinner party ( wait, our daughter can’t be that old!), she invited her dear friends from her Miss Porter's School days. Sweet photographs of the girls back in school were arranged on the sideboard, and I placed a wine decanter, filled with flowers, at each place setting as a gift for them to take home. I still consider them as my “other” daughters!
A seasoned piece of advice, which I have learned through experience, (and recently, forgot to do!) is to take the time to discuss with the person/people serving you for the first time, what you expect and how you wish them to serve. Showing them by example, before the party, is a prudent and thoughtful way to have an understanding between you and your server; you will both know what to expect!
My “shortlist” to discuss with a new server is:
Plates and other serving dishes are served on the left side of the guests. In America, the rule of thumb is to "serve on the left."
Plates are cleared from the table on the right side of the guests. I just remember the two R's: “Remove on the Right!"
Glasses are refilled on the right because their placement on the table is on the right.
(On a side note, in England, in private houses, plates are served and cleared only on the left side of the guest.)
Forbidden Faux Pas
No-No: To stack plates when clearing the table. Plates should never be stacked or scraped clean anywhere near the dining table.
What is done: Plates are cleared from the table, two at a time, three at most. They are cleaned in the kitchen, and preferably not within earshot of the guests.
No-No: To leave any remaining plates on the table when dessert is served.
What is done: When all of the courses have been served and the remaining plates, salt and pepper, serving pieces, chargers, and flatware (other than the dessert flatware) are all cleared from the table, then dessert (referred to as "pudding” in England) is served. Glasses remain on the table until the dinner is over and guests move to another room.
Oh, the final part of the gift? Going happily to bed knowing the dishes are clean, put away, and the trash is out. Sweet dreams assured!
XX
Holly
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