Prince Louis having “a four-year-old moment,” standing next to his great grandmum, Queen Elizabeth II, during the flyover at the Platinum Jubilee weekend… children will be children! Photo source: evokedotie
While on our trip to Israel, I had the delight of meeting a charming new friend, Marilee. She is from the South. We were discussing the topic of a “well-brought-up” child.
It’s summer… and school is out! So, if you have grandchildren coming to visit, (or even if you and your children are going to be houseguests), here is an idea that Marilee shared with me on how to encourage good table manners. When her children were young she used a point system. But fast forward, while visiting Universal Studios with her grandsons, aged 8 and 11, she tried a new technique to encourage table manners just for fun. Instead of points, she offered to pay them $1.00 per day per item that is not violated on her Manners List!
The Manners List:
Napkin placed on the lap
No elbows on the table
Don’t talk with your mouth full
No snake jaws, aka mouth open too wide for a large bite
Sit up, no face leaning toward the plate
Polite to waitstaff
Stand up for a lady and no hats at the table
No knees in chair/legs down
Chew with mouth closed
No bathroom talk
The above list, and the amount of points (or money), can be modified for any family. Yes, this can be interpreted as a reward, or as a bribe; you decide. But this agreement worked wonders for her grandson's table manners - they loved it! You may be aghast at this notion, payment for good behavior with a point system, but remember, it is just an idea/suggestion!
While I cannot recall being paid for good table manners as a child, this little enticement technique from a grandparent would have appealed to me too! It’s a clever way to encourage good table manners and… it may make life at the dinner table more pleasurable.
Marilee shared that her grandsons have enjoyed the challenge. When they earn enough points, depending on their behavior, they then find clever ways to negotiate their points!
And one other option, which my husband thought was amusing, is if the children catch the adults doing something wrong on The Manners List- extra points for them! Remember, everyone should work toward maintaining lovely dining etiquette, right?!
The little girl in Kay Thompson's fabulous book, Eloise, lives at The Plaza Hotel in NYC. She is a precocious, six-year-old and a handful for Nanny. “Anyone knows you have to eat your oatmeal or you will dry up!” Hummm, I’m doubtful that “The Manner List” would work for Eloise!
XX,
Holly
PS
Dear Ones,
Please know that each time I sit down to write to you, I am in a bit of a quandary. How do I share the nuances of gracious living, while in my heart, I am praying for those who are struggling, and enduring an unthinkably cruel war? My topics are meant to bring a sliver of joy and beauty and embrace an inviting place of gentleness and charm, even if for just a moment. I am sensitive to the unrest in the world and strive to share a nod to kindness and timeless grace. I hope you understand that the topics I choose, which may appear frivolous in comparison to the world of unrest, are only meant to perpetuate kind behavior and offer a glimpse into the world of understated elegance. I am extremely grateful to you for subscribing and for your support. I never want to offend anyone.
xoxo