Spot on, right?! This artwork, “Departure of a Weekend Guest,” is by the UK’s foremost British cartoonist, Annie Tempest.
Summertime is the perfect time to invite houseguests to stay with you! A dear friend asked me a few questions about having houseguests for the 4th of July, and my responses turned into this letter!
How long should I invite a couple to stay? How many days and what time should they arrive AND depart?
The best plan clearly specifies what you and your spouse agree upon beforeyou invite your guests.
It is always so awkward, but how do I tell my guests when to leave?
When you invite your guests, it is considerate to share an appointed time for arrival and departure, so they will know what to expect. Obviously, this is stated diplomatically! When inviting houseguests to stay in a country house in England, it is politely assumed the weekend is over after lunch on the final day, unless the hosts specify differently.
How shall I go about suggesting this?
"If convenient, please arrive around noon on Saturday to join us for lunch on the patio. We hope you can stay until around 2 pm on Sunday, until after we have lunch at the Yacht Club?” If you are uncomfortable suggesting a time for them to depart, remember that clarity makes it easier for all parties to know what to expect. Do not assume your guests will know. You can always expound: “We need to begin packing ourselves Sunday afternoon.” Or, “We have a commitment later on Sunday; I hope you don’t mind."
A few days in advance of their arrival, offer some suggestions of what activities are available to do and then ask them what they would like to do, and be flexible! They may have had an exhausting week of work and just want to sit by the pool. Rule of thumb: don’t overschedule! Guests like having the opportunity to sleep late, take a nap, shop, or go exploring on their own (and do not want to feel guilty for asking).
Once you and your guests agree on the plans, they will know what to expect and what clothes to pack. For example: where dinner will be held (coat & tie?), if they will be playing croquet, golf, or tennis, or simply spending the afternoon at the pool.
Point out goodies for them to have: cookies, candies, fruit, and drinks. Sometimes it is nice to ask if they would prefer breakfast on their own. If they say they are early risers, then suggest gathering together sometime before noon. (This gives you both free time!) Show them where the coffee/tea is and how the coffee maker works.
Show them where beach towels are, the key to the door if you lock it, the wifi code, and even how to work the tricky shower “on-off switch!”
What if guests offer to bring something?
If they ask, let them! I think it lets them feel as if they are contributing. Then, suggest something that would indeed be helpful. Nibbles for cocktail hour, a fruit salad for breakfast, or a birthday cake, and they can choose. Or, they can offer something else to bring.
What if the guest offers to help?
This depends on you as the hosts. But, if you are a guest, and there is not any staff to help serve, offer to do something: make a great Cosmopolitan, serve the nibbles at cocktail hour, offer to set or clear the table, make the coffee, or pour the wine.
Another clever cartoon by Annie Tempest! Note the little pillow on the pink chair: “Short visits make a long friendship!”
GUEST No-No’s:
Do not ask to bring a pet, a surprise guest, or a child unless the host knows in advance and approves. And, if you break something, let the host know. Try to replace it or find something similar and have it sent that week to the host.
Want to be invited back? Remember to send a handwritten thank you note (NOT an email) within 48 hours of leaving your host’s house. Better yet, bring your notecard with you, write it before you leave, and place it in your guestroom or some place obvious for the hosts to discover. One and done!
I have two previous letters with even more thoughtful details for your houseguests!
Guests are gifts you give yourself, albeit houseguests are a “labor of love” gift!
An addendum Q&A about last week's topic, "How to wear a pretty pin," is located after my fabulous sponsors!
Happy Summer!
Xx
Holly
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