It is nowhere near the holidays, but giving my book, with a personal inscription, is one of my go-to hostess gifts any time of year!
Who doesn’t love to be surprised by a thoughtful hostess gift from a guest when they enter your house for a party? A hostess gift is not a requirement; it is simply a lovely gesture to show appreciation for the invitation.
One of my darling Virginia subscribers asked me this question below:
“We are fortunate to invite lovely friends to our parties who bring various hostess gifts. I am one to send a handwritten note to thank each person for their thoughtfulness. Once, I mailed a thank you note for a hostess gift, and the recipient responded — via text — chastising me for sending a thank you before she could even get hers written and in the mail. [Ironically, I never received a handwritten note from her!!!] So, should I wait a week after the event to send thank you notes for hostess gifts, or should I mail them promptly after the event?”
This prompted me to consider and debate the following: Is it required to write a note to thank a guest who brings you a “hostess gift?”
I do not believe there is a proper yes or no to this question; it is more of a personal preference. Acknowledging any gift verbally or with a note is always thoughtful, though!
Here are some examples of hostess gifts that I have given: Countess Grey loose tea from Fortnum & Mason, notecards from the Blenheim Palace gift store, chocolate sauce (when I do not have time to make it!) from Teuscher- NYC, notecards from Smythson Bond Street in London, and playing cards from Tiffany & Company.
As a recipient of many “hostess gifts,” my rule of thumb is to write a thank you note for gifts that I consider to be “somewhat extravagant, or exceptionally meaningful,” such as an elegant picture frame with a relevant photograph enclosed, an Assouline-published coffee table book, or an exceptional floral arrangement delivered to the door the day before the event. I will make an effort to write a thank you note of appreciation to the guest and mail it within a few days of my event.
Alternatively, I usually do not write to thank the guests for the tried-and-true quintessential hostess gifts such as a bottle of wine, elegant soaps, a box of chocolates, homemade jam, local honey, imported olive oil, or a bouquet from the garden. Instead, I make a point of thanking them verbally, either in person or over the phone, and share how much I have enjoyed the chocolates, jam, etc. A hostess gift is a sweet way for a guest to say “thank you” in advance for your hospitality, and they do not expect a note back, even though it is always a kind gesture!
Sometimes, guests will slip a hostess gift somewhere in the house for me to find the next day… I discovered this box of chocolates leaning next to a reindeer in our kitchen. It was undoubtedly well-received by our family!
Attach a note or gift tag indicating your name on or in a hostess gift. It can be disconcerting to figure out who gave you the gift. This darling topiary tag is from WH Hostess.
GrandMillenial Tips:
~ If you receive a bottle of wine or champagne as a hostess gift, try to purposely serve it to the person who gave it to you in the future. Make a date to drink it together.
~ When I give a bottle of champagne, I use a gold felt pen to sign on the glass portion of the bottle with “Cheers!” or “Happy Birthday!” adding a “Xoxo Holly & Stuart.”
Forbidden Faux Pas:
No-No: To expect the hostess or host to open the gift upon your arrival.
What is done: If the hostess wishes to open your gift and is not busy greeting other guests, it is thoughtful for the hostess to ask, “May I open your gift now?” Sometimes, the gift giver would prefer that you open their gift after they have left.
No-No: Expecting the hostess or host to serve the wine, champagne, or chocolate you brought them at their event.
What is done: Let the hostess serve what she has planned to serve for the event. She will incorporate your gift if she wants to.
So, with the above in mind, cheers to more parties!
Xx
Holly
PS: Please inspire a friend to subscribe by forwarding this letter to them!