Have you ever been seated at a banquet table, restaurant, a club, or even someone's private dinner table, and had the bread and butter placed in front of you? When this occurs, the onus is on the closest guest to pick it up and begin offering the bread basket and butter dish to the guest to their right, or to the left for any ladies present.
When dessert is served, there may be an additional plate of cookies or chocolates placed near the center of the table. Again, these are placed there for the entire table to enjoy so it is up to the guest closest to begin passing it.
Quite often, I have passed these types of dishes to the guest next to me and they reply, "No thank you" without any effort to keep passing on. So, my response to them is, "Would you mind passing it to the next person for me? Thank you so much!".
In regards to wine, the gentlemen would, of course, serve the ladies to the right and left of himself first and then serve himself. Frequently at business banquets, open bottles of wine are placed on the table prior to being seated. If there are no servers at a private dinner party, and the hosts suggest you serve yourself, feel free to do so. It’s most polite for gentlemen nearest the bottle to serve others before himself.
What’s most paramount is conscientiousness of your fellow guests. While engaging in the conversation, take occasional notice of others’ eating arrangements. Are they peering over at the chocolates? Is their wine glass empty? The lovely concern guests show for each other can make the difference between a good and a grand dinner party!
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Forbidden Faux Pas
No-no: Not to continue passing a dish when it is first served. All the guests should have an opportunity to take what is offered. Even if you do not wish to have any of the dish, continue passing it to your fellow guests.