It is always an honour to host an engagement party for precious friends!
Just recently, I received a question from the engaged daughter of a dear friend of mine. She wanted to know what the traditional thank you note format for an engaged couple (who live together) is. Should both names be on one card with the bride’s maiden name on top and her fiance's name underneath.
The contemporary format suggested above is efficient, where the card has both names for the engaged couple to use before their wedding as thank you notes. Once they are married, if the bride chooses to take her husband's last name, then their names would become one, using his surname, and the bride would require new writing paper to indicate her new name.
However, to fully answer the question posed, traditionally only the engaged bride-to-be's maiden name is represented on the thank you note! Her fiancé would have his name on his card. So, in essence, there would be two sets of cards before they are married.
After they are married, the groom can continue to use his note cards for correspondence, because his last name does not change!
When writing as a couple, who signs the thank you note?
One rule of thumb to remember, whether you are engaged or married, is that only the person who actually writes the note signs it. Whoever writes the note can kindly relay the sentiments from the spouse within the body of the letter.
For example, if I were writing the note, it would say something like:
Stuart sends his love and appreciation to you, as well! Love, Holly
The same would apply to Stuart if he penned the note:
Holly adores your gift too and sends her love. Sincerely, Stuart
Sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners to receive new sparkling tips about etiquette and classic design every week, along with a free download of Holly’s Elegant Entertaining e-book.
Forbidden Faux Pas
No-no: For the bride-to-be to send out any correspondence with her new surname of the groom before she is married, or to use the initials of both the bride and the groom in a monogram before the wedding has taken place.
Oh, joy! Celebrating the engagement of our son and Karen, his stupendous choice for a bride, was a brilliant and most festive evening for our family and dear friends- one we shall always cherish.