Mummy looking glamorous in her mink stole at a black-tie event in Taipei, Taiwan 1964. I am so grateful she taught me how to have a smile to go along with a firm handshake!
Your handshake is a greeting that truly represents you! The strength of your grip is important. This shows that your handshake is not a hollow gesture, which a limp handshake can imply. In the United States, one or two pumps of your hand as you shake, straight up and down, not side to side, will suffice. Other countries have different codes of pumping the hands, or kissing a hand.
A handshake is a centuries-old tradition, given among "equals" in reference to rank, with historical reasoning. For example, in deference to rank, HRH Queen Elizabeth can keep her gloves on to shake hands, while you should remove yours. Or, when one is in military uniform, a Major would not offer to shake hands with a General.
A man should wait for a woman to extend her hand, unless there is a hierarchy, in business or otherwise, such as the CEO of your company or a titled person.
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Forbidden Faux Pas
No-No: To shake with your left hand. Always shake with your right hand!
Exception: If there is a physical or medical reason why you cannot shake with your right hand.
No-No: For a man to meet and shake hands while sitting down, when the other person is standing up. Men should rise from their chair to shake hands out of respect (unless you are in a wheelchair, or have medical issues prohibiting you from standing). Ladies may remain seated to shake hands with a gentleman who is standing. I always prefer to stand up if seated, out of respect to the person that I am meeting.
No-No: To offer your hand first to a person of higher rank or authority. They should make the first move to offer their hand to shake yours.
No-No: Not to take off your sunglasses when being introduced for the first time.
What is done: Remove your sunglasses so that the person being introduced to you can see your eyes and your face without your identity being hidden. After you have met, then you can go back to being a movie star with your sunglasses on!
No-No: Not to take your glove off first to shake someone's hand. If you are wearing gloves, take the glove off your right hand to give a handshake. Then, put your glove back on. At elegant events, such as weddings, ladies may keep their gloves on to shake hands. Ladies wearing long kid-leather opera gloves at a formal event do not need to take their glove off to shake either. But, ladies should take their glove off when shaking hands with the President, First Lady or a high ranking official.
No-No: To leave your left hand in your pocket while shaking with your right hand. Both hands should be visible.
No-No: To grasp the other person's arm with your left hand when shaking their right hand and meeting them for the first time. Once you know one another, then by all means, this is appropriate!
Millennial Tip
Share with your children how important good eye contact is when shaking hands! Often an overlooked or forgotten point, this aspect of a proper handshake needs practice and encouragement. A strong handshake, along with good eye contact, and topped off with a genuine smile, is bound to make a lasting, positive impression!