Decorating ideas for under a table!

Symmetry is always music for the eyes! Not only are decorative porcelains presented on top of this lovely English hall console table, but they are further enhanced by the display of additional porcelains, which features a pair of blue vases and a handsome antique Georgian cellarette (wine holder) in the center. A vision of divine loveliness!                                                  Photo Source: whimsicalhomeandgarden.com via Pinterest

Symmetry is always music for the eyes! Not only are decorative porcelains presented on top of this lovely English hall console table, but they are further enhanced by the display of additional porcelains, which features a pair of blue vases and a handsome antique Georgian cellarette (wine holder) in the center. A vision of divine loveliness!

Photo Source: whimsicalhomeandgarden.com via Pinterest

Learning from ‘the best of the best’ has always been an inspiring goal, and one that I advocate and strive to promote.  For my public television series, my goal was to show masterpiece, privately owned houses.  Similar to visiting a prestigious art museum or touring a notable palace, the time-honored decorative techniques and nuances you glean from the experience may serve to enhance your ability to decipher the difference between an innocuous designed interior, which is bland and trendy-trite, and/or a timelessly elegant interior, which is charming, inviting and memorable.  Do you too agree that developing a keen eye for details enriches your understanding of what contributes to excellence?

As  an advocate of buying in pairs for balance and symmetry, this vignette  has it all!  The pair of Chinese blue and white garden stools, perfectly  placed underneath the attractive English table, can easily be used for  extra seating too.                                                           Photo source: Lusterineterors via Pinterest                                                                Vignette designed by Rosa Bernal

As an advocate of buying in pairs for balance and symmetry, this vignette has it all!  The pair of Chinese blue and white garden stools, perfectly placed underneath the attractive English table, can easily be used for extra seating too.  

Photo source: Lusterineterors via Pinterest

Vignette designed by Rosa Bernal

One decorative element I discerned while filming an episode with Lady Henrietta Spencer-Churchill inside the Private Apartments at Blenheim Palace in Oxfordshire, England, left an indelible impression on me: utilize the unused real estate (space) under a piece of furniture!  

If you watch the Blenheim Palace episode, you will discover a prime example of the technique of displaying decorative items underneath a piece of furniture.  At the end of a long hallway (and there are many!), an elegant console table features a collection of blue and white porcelain, and below it, three large blue and white vases grace the floor and serve to enhance the vignette visually.  The cherry on top?  A grand portrait by Paul Cesar Hellau of Consuelo Vanderbilt, the Duchess of Marlborough, married to the 9th Duke, hangs above the table.  The soft blue hues in her dress complement the blue and white porcelain collection.  The entire visual, floor to almost ceiling, just sings ‘perfection’ to me! 

Look around your house for some unused real estate under a table, console, sideboard, or highboy, and be encouraged to implement a decorative piece there! Here are a few decorative suggestions to inspire you.

  • a bust, statue, or sculpture

  • a Chinese porcelain footbath

  • a cachepot filled with plants or flowers

  • a stack of large coffee-table books

  • an ottoman, bench, or pair of benches, used for extra seating as needed

  • a cellarette, wooden wine holder

  • a collection of vases (blue and white or yellow)

  • Chinese garden stools (blue and white or rose)

In the hall, outside of our Hunt Room at Fox Hall, a bronze sculpture decided to trot underneath the antique American card table to join the horse painting above, by Edwin M. Fox.

In the hall, outside of our Hunt Room at Fox Hall, a bronze sculpture decided to trot underneath the antique American card table to join the horse painting above, by Edwin M. Fox.

Grandmillennial Tip:

If you have small children, or a rambunctious dog, heavy sculptures, benches, and books work well as decorative elements on the floor, in place of porcelain pieces, which can easily be tipped over and break!

One more thing…. 

Previous topics have alternated between manners that matter, classic interior design, and interviews with notably accomplished people.  I am curious... which topics do you prefer?  Kindly respond to holly@hollyholden.com.  As always, I cherish your suggestions and ideas!  Thank you for inspiring a new friend to subscribe.

XX Holly

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How to properly indicate R.s.v.p. on an invitation.

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Two appropriate forms of requesting an acknowledgment are displayed on these invitations, both of which bring to mind fond memories of joyous celebrations!

Longing to send out an invitation and host a little party again? Hosting a party is now coming to fruition after the seemingly endless Covid quarantine. Having recently attended several outdoor receptions in Palm Beach, with guests vaccinated and serving staff masked, an important invitation detail came to mind to share with you!

When composing an invitation with an acknowledgment request, do you know which side of an invitation the R.s.v.p. (French for “Respondez s’il vous plait”) is placed? Is it on the lower-right corner, or... the lower-left corner?

It is placed on the lower-left corner of the invitation!

Respondez s’il vous plait may be written as R.s.v.p. with a capital R and a lowercase s.v.p. The other form is R.S.V.P. in capital letters. The preferred form, and the one I use, is R.s.v.p. It is what Mummy taught me.

“The favour of reply is requested” is another proper acknowledgment request. I use this on my formal invitations, as it relays a touch of old-world charm and formality to the occasion.

I chose this phrase for my wedding reception invitation because the British spelling of “Favour” reminded me of my beloved English father.

Even though this is a formal invitation, it was sent to dear friends who celebrate the same Aries birthday with my husband, whom we now refer to as ‘The Rambunctious Rams,’ and hence, the wording was meant to be amusing!

Even though this is a formal invitation, it was sent to dear friends who celebrate the same Aries birthday with my husband, whom we now refer to as ‘The Rambunctious Rams,’ and hence, the wording was meant to be amusing!

And, yes, it is appropriate to use the phrase “Regrets only,” along with a phone number, email address, or both, but it is considered less formal than using R.s.v.p.

When including a phone number, email address, or both,  it is preferable to have it indicated underneath the R.s.v.p., on a separate line if space allows.

Grandmillennial Tip:
The “dress attire” is placed on the lower-right corner of an invitation, and is always included on a formal invitation. I remember this by thinking: dress right!

Forbidden Faux Pas: 
No-no: To not respond as soon as possible, at least within 2 or 3 days upon receiving an invitation requesting an R.s.v.p. acknowledgment. 

No-no: When a formal invitation is sent and does not have a response card enclosed, it is expected that you will respond on your own writing paper, in third person (Mrs. R. Stuart Holden, Jr. accepts with pleasure the kind invitation of…).  If a response card is not included, it is a no-no to phone or email your response, even if you know them well.

Note the selective wording on the lower-left corner indicated for this stately, fundraising luncheon. An acknowledgment request card accompanied the invitation.

Note the selective wording on the lower-left corner indicated for this stately, fundraising luncheon. An acknowledgment request card accompanied the invitation.

*Correction: Rachel Trevor-Morgan, the magnificent milliner in London with a Royal Warrant is located at 20 Crown Passage.

Would you please be a dear and invite one or two friends to subscribe to MMM? Your kind gesture would help me grow my subscriber list in new places, which would mean the world to me. A big kiss to all of you for your support! XX
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Hats fit for a Queen: Part II

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Rachel Trevor-Morgan’s atelier has been at 20 Crown Passage in St. James’s, London, for over 25 years.

Rachel Trevor-Morgan’s atelier has been at 20 Crown Passage in St. James’s, London, for over 25 years.

Rachel Trevor-Morgan is a renowned British milliner, who has held a Royal Warrant since 2014 from Her Majesty the Queen, who has worn her creations on many high-profile occasions since.  Personally, I adore wearing hats and found both Parts I and II of my interview with Rachel to be delightfully informative!  Part I, which was featured last week, discussed several fascinating nuances of hat-making, while Part II of my interview below, touches upon the traditions and protocol in reference to hats.   

*Please note that the U.K.spelling within Rachel’s answers may be different than our American spelling

~What protocol and traditions should one be aware of in reference to wearing a hat? 

To be honest, whilst there were many hat ‘rules’ in the past, things are a little more relaxed these days.  Here in the UK, there are events where hats are required, and in certain circumstances, certain size hats are required.  I am of course talking about the Royal Enclosure at Royal Ascot where the dimension of a hat must be no less than 10cm.  Hats are also required for Royal Garden parties.

~How do you decide what side of a lady's face a hat should be tilted?

Traditionally hats always tilt the same way. The brim of a hat always dips over the wearer’s right eye and lifts over the left. This is how we always make them.  A smaller pillbox hat is worn over the wearer’s right eye and we always design them that way, but do occasionally make them the other way at the client’s request. 

This is such a pretty, pink tulle bell hat with hand-made roses (R2192) from the Spring-Summer 2021 collection. The design hints at vintage Dior hats and is constructed with wire to give its bell shape and covered with tulle for an airy and light feel. The hat is fitted on a headband to give it the illusion that it is defying gravity.

This is such a pretty, pink tulle bell hat with hand-made roses (R2192) from the Spring-Summer 2021 collection. The design hints at vintage Dior hats and is constructed with wire to give its bell shape and covered with tulle for an airy and light feel. The hat is fitted on a headband to give it the illusion that it is defying gravity.

~Which side of a hat is trimmed for a woman, and for a man?  

Traditionally a gentleman’s hat is trimmed on the wearer’s left, and a lady’s hat would more often be trimmed on the wearer’s right.

 ~What time of day should a hat be removed?

If you have gone to the effort of commissioning a beautiful hat for an event, you want to keep it on for as long as possible!  Having said that, of course, you would want to be respectful to your host and follow their lead.

~Was your mother or father a stickler for manners? 

I did come from quite a formal background.  My father was the vicar and as such we were in the centre of the community; he expected good behaviour!  We always ate together in the dining room.  Table manners are so important and are certainly something I notice.  I have hopefully passed this on to my children.

~Tell us about your bespoke creations for the American market (OH JOY!),  and how one would order a hat from you? 

We have many styles on our website, some in the shop, and many more on our collection pages.  We invite clients to contact us with their requirements ideally via email.  We have a lot of private clients in America, and I am very keen to expand that.  Modern technology makes this so easy now.  We can then work with them on a particular order or special commission.  We can give style advice and, if we have fabric samples, we can colour match to a particular outfit.  Distance has not proven to be a problem; with communication, we can get it right! 

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CORRECTION:

My sincerest apologies! Last week's MMM featured an incorrect photo/ caption. Below is the corrected information.

A coral, fine-straw hat with hand-made silk roses and buds. This is a shallow crown hat so it is fitted with an elastic for extra security and can be made in any color to complement an outfit. The reference number is R2193.

A coral, fine-straw hat with hand-made silk roses and buds. This is a shallow crown hat so it is fitted with an elastic for extra security and can be made in any color to complement an outfit. The reference number is R2193.

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Bespoke hats fit for a Queen!

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Queen Elizabeth II is wearing one of Rachel Trevor- Morgan’s millinery creations for the first time! Isn’t it divine?! Her Majesty is accompanied by David Brewer, Lord Mayor of London, as she is leaving St. Paul’s Cathedral following a Service of Th…

Queen Elizabeth II is wearing one of Rachel Trevor- Morgan’s millinery creations for the first time! Isn’t it divine?! Her Majesty is accompanied by David Brewer, Lord Mayor of London, as she is leaving St. Paul’s Cathedral following a Service of Thanksgiving to mark her 80th birthday on June 15, 2006, in London, England.

“Hats off” to Rachel Trevor-Morgan, the esteemed British milliner, who in 2014 was granted a Royal Warrant from Her Majesty The Queen.  Her impressive, bespoke hats have garnered respect and admiration internationally.  Her stunning millinery creations have a dedicated following from a distinguished arena of clientele.  What an honor it was to interview Rachel! She is now creating her divine bespoke creations for an American audience too.  Derby anyone?!  

(*Please note that the U.K.spelling within Rachel’s answers may be different than our American spelling.)

~When did you know that you wanted to be a designer?

I have always loved creating. At first, I wanted to become an actress and go into the theatre, which led me to thoughts of designing costumes, but somehow I ended up in millinery.  My mother always wore hats to church on Sundays.  She was well known for them.  I think this must have had an influence. 

~Do you have a particular creation that you are most proud of? (Along with your Royal Warrant appointment!) 

Without a doubt, the first hat I made for Her Majesty stands out as one I am most proud of.  It was for her 80th birthday service at St Paul’s Cathedral.  I knew that the hat was for this very special service but I still couldn’t quite believe that she would actually be wearing it until I saw her step out of the carriage!

~Who are your role models? 

I trained with a wonderful milliner called Graham Smith.  He had a great influence on me. Not only was he a superb designer but he was also a grafter and rather understated in his own way.  I have huge admiration for him.  He understood what his clients wanted, and his design ‘handwriting’ was always elegant and perfectly crafted.

 ~Where do you draw your inspiration from?  

I adore the 1940s and ‘50s, the golden age of couture and Hollywood glamour.  I draw great inspiration from old films and books.  At Rachel Trevor-Morgan, we are well known for our handmade flowers and I definitely draw inspiration from beautiful plants and foliage.  In truth, inspiration can come from the most unexpected places such as a beautiful architectural shape or an old painting.

A coral, fine-straw hat with hand-made silk roses and buds. This is a shallow crown hat so it is fitted with an elastic for extra security and can be made in any color to complement an outfit. The reference number is R2173.

A coral, fine-straw hat with hand-made silk roses and buds. This is a shallow crown hat so it is fitted with an elastic for extra security and can be made in any color to complement an outfit. The reference number is R2173.

~Your creations are enchantingly divine; how do you decide the style for a client?

This year marks my 30 years in business.  Over that time, I have built up some knowledge about what suits different people, which I think perhaps only comes with so many years in the business.  It is so important to listen to your clients and to try and get to know them in order to find out something of their character and their requirements.  That way you can have a better understanding of what will work for them.  I think for me, a lot is instinctive.

 ~When designing a hat to complement a dress, do you have the dress on-site in your atelier, and how do you consider the venue in which it will be worn?

Most clients will bring their dress with them to an appointment, or at least they will have their design and fabric swatches.  I will consider what style might work with the styling and print.  If it is busy, then ideally you would want to keep to a simple silhouette for the hat, but a simple dress would allow for a more extravagant hat. I invite my clients to try on a lot of different styles so that I can see what works.  It is important to consider what event it is being worn for and the venue.  A cathedral wedding?  A village church?  It is important to get the balance right.  You would not want to turn up to a Royal Garden party looking like you were attending Royal Ascot. 

~Have you ever attended a wedding, or a function, where you designed the hats for some of the attendees?!  How was that experience? 

Yes, it is the biggest thrill.  Attending Royal Ascot is where I see the most hats.  It is such fun looking out for our designs and I always feel very proud to see them in action.  Royal Ascot is the peak of our season and we have always been working all hours to get everything finished.  It is such a wonderful reward to see the finished results being worn and looking fabulous! 

~Do you have a favorite color? (My signature color is pink!)  

I definitely have my favourite colours that often turn up each season.  Probably more palettes than individual colours.  I am very particular about colour and what shades I use.  I normally do the dying myself in order to get the exact shade I am looking for.  If I make a hat in a colour I don’t like, it normally doesn’t sell!  I love dusty pinks, hot pinks, aubergine, reds, and greens… to name but a few!

Rachel Trevor-Morgan is known for their flowers which are dyed, cut, rolled, and hand-tooled in-house. They are made out of silk, felt, or straw with their flower-making tools, which are heated before using to give the flowers and petals their shape.

Rachel Trevor-Morgan is known for their flowers which are dyed, cut, rolled, and hand-tooled in-house. They are made out of silk, felt, or straw with their flower-making tools, which are heated before using to give the flowers and petals their shape.

~How long is your creative process from generating designs to actual production? 

It is actually very quick once I get going.  Starting a collection can be very daunting but once the ideas start flowing, I often find it difficult to stop!

~What helps you get into a state of creativity?

 Urgency!  I need deadlines.  

~What are your thoughts on the future of hats? Are they so deeply embedded in British culture that they are here to stay? Why have they endured for so long in the UK?

I believe hats are here to stay.  Hat wearing has always had its ups and downs.  Back in the 1950s, here in the UK, everyone wore hats all of the time.  In the decades since, we have of course lost that formality but there is something about wearing a hat that cannot be replaced. There is a sense of drama and mystery.  You can stand out, hide, become someone else… be who you want to be! 

The navy petal Charlene (R2163) is reminiscent of vintage Dior shapes and is incredibly flattering and feminine. It is fitted on a headband which means that it slides into place and perches on the wearer’s right side, almost like a peek-a-boo effect.

The navy petal Charlene (R2163) is reminiscent of vintage Dior shapes and is incredibly flattering and feminine. It is fitted on a headband which means that it slides into place and perches on the wearer’s right side, almost like a peek-a-boo effect.

~What are your thoughts on gloves matching your hats? 

I really don’t think there are rules on this.  Stand back and consider your whole look.  What works?  What looks elegant?

~Do you ever repurpose a hat? 

For another event?  Yes, absolutely! I  can think of nothing sadder than a beautiful hat that is designed for a special event being put away and never worn again.

~I am curious as to what people are buying, how it has changed, and how that is translating into what you are designing presently during Covid? 

Covid has certainly been devastating to the British Hat Trade. We are largely events-based so without the British ‘Season’ there weren’t many hats worn.  Recognizing this has made us approach business differently over the last 12 months.  One result was the launch of our new ready-to-wear collection ‘Ella’ (after my daughter).  It is a range of more casual hats and fun embellished berets that have been a huge success.  We are planning a summer season of panamas and bright straws.

Next week, I am thrilled to share Part II of my interview with Rachel.  We discuss the traditions and protocol of wearing a hat.  For example, you’ll learn which side of a lady's face a hat typically slants towards! 

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How to Dress-Up Your Lamps!

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Furnishing our pied-a-terre in Palm Beach, “Petite Fox,” has been such a delight. It was love at first sight when I spied two pink and blue, antique French vases, transformed into lamps, while Stuart and I were attending a viewing at Hindman Auction…

Furnishing our pied-a-terre in Palm Beach, “Petite Fox,” has been such a delight. It was love at first sight when I spied two pink and blue, antique French vases, transformed into lamps, while Stuart and I were attending a viewing at Hindman Auctions in West Palm Beach. The bespoke, delicately pleated, pink and white silk lampshades are beyond divine, and just had to come home to our "Holly-pink" living room!

Lovely light brings any room to life!  Lighting is a key component of a room’s ambiance.  Creating a soft, warm glow is the ideal way to establish a welcoming environment in any room.  A light that is too bright or intense serves only as a deterrent to your guests, reminding them of a place that is not that inviting, such as an operating room or a police interrogation room!  I shy away from the seat that is near a brightly lit lamp as the harsh shadows are not becoming to anyone… wouldn’t you agree?! 

Lampshades serve to attractively conceal the lamp’s electrical hardware and shield one’s eyes from the brightness of the bulb.  They add a touch of elegant enchantment.  They can also be clever and whimsical.  Like a stunning sunset, soft pools of light created with smartly appointed lampshades offer an ambiance that serves to subtly captivate your guests.

The lampshade is adorned with a darling pink, pearl-drop glass trim, applied along the bottom edge. The light reflects through the glass, adding a lilliputian touch of glam!

The lampshade is adorned with a darling pink, pearl-drop glass trim, applied along the bottom edge. The light reflects through the glass, adding a lilliputian touch of glam!

A stately lamp is a composition of individual elements, but I feel that the most important element contributing to the overall aesthetic of a lamp is a well-proportioned, detailed lampshade.  It adds beauty and majesty to a room.  I like to think of a proper lampshade as the lamp’s crown! 

In my first book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room, a chapter is dedicated to lamps and lampshades, featured on pages 286 - 289.  There are samples of the various nuances and details that will contribute to the overall design of a lampshade and complement the room and space.  

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Here are a few aspects that you will want to consider when designing a bespoke shade: 

  • The shade fabric and color: silk, linen, chintz, woven ribbons, string, paper, parchment, etc.

  • The shade fabric design: pleated, ruched, smocked, etc.

  • The shade lining: fabric type and color

  • The shade size and shape

  • The decorative trim: fringe, ribbon, tape, gimp, cord, pleated silk, etc.

  • The style and size of the finial, which graces the top of the shade


Taken from a page from my first book, the chapter about custom lampshades offers a glimpse at decorative options to consider when designing a lampshade.

Taken from a page from my first book, the chapter about custom lampshades offers a glimpse at decorative options to consider when designing a lampshade.

I have seen the most divine lampshade creations in England and France.  How does one find a lampshade designer in the USA? 

  • Search for lampshade designer or custom lampshades.

  • Call a “to-the-trade” design center and ask for a recommendation.

  • Attend a top-tier Showhouse and ask a designer for their sources for custom lampshades.

  • I prefer to be in person versus ordering online, to discuss the design, with my lamp in hand, enabling the experts to guide my vision! I have used Blanche Field, my premier source, located in the Boston Design Center, and also at the D&D in NYC.

  • This Architectural Digest article shows some bespoke examples to inspire you.

It is true, an elegant custom-made lampshade is an extravagance, but it will serve you and your room well.  I feel it is well worth your investment of time and money.  Be forewarned that once you have a bespoke lampshade, it can become addictive and hard to come back down to the store-bought variety! 

Grandmillennial Tips:

Use some additional fabric that you adore, which is already in the room.  Silk always works well for my design projects!   

When you are choosing a lampshade, consider the colors in the room.  Where will the lamp be placed and how will it be used?

Also, what is the formality or informality of the room?  This will help to determine the overall appearance of the lampshade, including size and shape.  You want to produce a lampshade that appears tailor-made for both the lamp and its intended location. 

Your lamp should have a three-way bulb or a dimmer switch installed, to keep the light low in the evening when entertaining!  (I love to use soft pink bulbs in my living room… women naturally gravitate to them because the soft light makes everyone look and feel pretty.  I often request a pale pink silk lining for lampshades in bedrooms, too.) 

If you are savvy with a glue gun, consider adding your trim to a store-bought shade as a less expensive option for a bespoke detail.  Order a little extra trim and practice gluing some of the trim on a different surface first to see how the trim reacts to the hot glue in advance of gluing it onto the lampshade… I am speaking from a ghastly experience! 

Finials are the little gems at the top of the shade.  Decide if you want to call attention to the finial or have the finial discretely fade into the overall aesthetic of the lamp and its shade, which I prefer. 

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Forbidden Faux Pas:

For a well-dressed lamp, you should not be able to see the socket and switch.  An old saying is that “your guests should not be able to look up the lamp’s skirt” (lampshade)!

Lampshades should not be mounted too low, either.  Show less than 1” or 1 ½” of the lamp’s neck. 


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Children's Manners - Part I

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Kay Thompson’s “Eloise,” first printed in the 1950’s, has always been one of our most favorite children books! The precious illustrations of precarious Eloise are by Hilary Knight. Some of Eloise’s antics, while living at The Plaza Hotel in NYC, are…

Kay Thompson’s “Eloise,” first printed in the 1950’s, has always been one of our most favorite children books! The precious illustrations of precarious Eloise are by Hilary Knight. Some of Eloise’s antics, while living at The Plaza Hotel in NYC, are an accurate, yet slightly exaggerated, glimmer into what small children are truly capable of! Photo credit: Eloise - Written by Kay Thompson.

If you have young children, you have probably experienced those rawwther stressful moments when they simply “forget their manners'' and you wish you had a magic wand to make them “snap-to polite attention!” You know that they know how to behave. You just want to scream, “YOU KNOW BETTER,” along with an explicative... or two! The addition of sweets (chocolate Easter eggs and jellybeans) can exacerbate their misbehavior too. UGH… one feels embarrassed and frustrated as a parent.

We all know what mischief children can get into.

We all know what mischief children can get into.

Manners begin at home, with role models such as parents, grandparents, and caretakers.  Mastering anything always requires practice.  My dear friend Gaye shared a splendid method for instilling manners in children.  Tuesday night at her house was “manners night” at the dinner table, which didn’t mean a free-for-all on other nights.  It simply meant that on Tuesdays there were no distractions, no television, and no phones.  Etiquette and the art of conversation were explored.  Even a five-year-old can relay their productive day at kindergarten.  The Tuesday night practice technique worked like a charm, as their adult daughter is enchanting!  As a child, she thought “manners night” was a bore, but admitted that she now looks back on Tuesday dinners as a special time, invaluable to her. 

My daughter and her husband in Berlin, Germany,  have four little children.  When they travel to someone’s house, they make a point of talking to their children in the car about the manners that are expected upon arrival; they do not assume that the children will remember them.  Reminding them in advance to put their “best manners hat” on, such as shaking hands, good eye contact, using inside voices, not interrupting when others are speaking, placing napkins on their laps, sitting up straight, no elbows on the table, avoiding complaints about the food, responding when spoken to, and showing respect to both the house and the adults, are precisely the manners that make a difference.  Manners do not come naturally; they require constant practice.  By teaching them manners, you are giving your children a proper gift which will serve them well... FOR LIFE!  

From the text of the book, as stated by the six-year-old, Eloise:   "Nanny has Irish bacon which reminds her of her brother. You have to eat oatmeal or you'll dry up Anybody knows that Nanny likes her coffee hot hot hot An egg cup makes a very good …

From the text of the book, as stated by the six-year-old, Eloise:

"Nanny has Irish bacon which reminds her of her brother.
You have to eat oatmeal or you'll dry up
Anybody knows that
Nanny likes her coffee hot hot hot
An egg cup makes a very good hat."

Here are a few pieces of advice from parents and doting grandparents whom I admire: 

“Always, always have a little something in your purse to entertain your children, from a pen and paper to a tiny little toy.  When silence is required in a church or a plane, some lollipops or a little bag of gummy bears are perfect!”

“Always a please and thank you… no popsicle gets handed over without it!”

“When visiting someone’s house, bring your cache of toys or puzzles, or something to amuse your children.  Don’t assume that the house that you are visiting will have toys or something for your children to play with.  Come prepared.”

“Discourage your child from interrupting, yet when they do have a question, try to make the effort to answer them.” 

“I never really put anything delicate, breakable or valuable "away" when mine were little… nor did my mother.  I was taught to "not touch" things.”  

“Ask your hostess if they have a towel or something to cover their dining room chair seat in case your child accidentally spills food on their upholstery.  I have never known a hostess to refuse this request!”

I am curious to know, what suggestions do you have?  
 

Grandmillennial Tip:

A sweet book to give to a new mother is Manners Begin at Breakfast, by Princess Marie-Chantal of Greece.  It is about proper etiquette for children in our fast-paced, technology-centered world.  The book contains many amazing tips and pearls of wisdom to pass onto little ones as they grow up to become responsible and respectful members of society. 

Consider inspiring one or two friends to subscribe to MMM today! You may also join me on Instagram for daily inspiration.

Consider inspiring one or two friends to subscribe to MMM today! You may also join me on Instagram for daily inspiration.

Pretty In Porcelain: An Interview with Anna Weatherley

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Anna Weatherley’s cachepot, filled with a pink flowering hydrangea plant, is a lovely accessory at Blair House, The President’s Guest House, which is located conveniently across the street from the White House. Photo source: The Washington Post.

Anna Weatherley’s cachepot, filled with a pink flowering hydrangea plant, is a lovely accessory at Blair House, The President’s Guest House, which is located conveniently across the street from the White House. Photo source: The Washington Post.


Pretty porcelain designs can personify your personality, wouldn’t you agree?  The designs you choose for your plates and porcelain pieces speak volumes about you to others and will bring joy to you in your home.  The exquisitely detailed porcelain designs, created by the world-renowned designer, Anna Weatherley, captured my heart the moment I first discovered them.  If you are not aware of her exclusive line of distinguished, hand-painted porcelain, be forewarned… you too will fall in love with each piece!  

What an absolute delight it was to be introduced to Anna Weatherley by way of The White House Historical Association.  (I collaborated with the WHHA as their moderator for a Christmas White House floral design talk in December 2020.)  When we spoke, I felt like a giddy teenager talking to a rockstar!  I was overjoyed when she kindly agreed to an interview with me. 

Anna’s designs are hand-painted by a group of highly trained master painters in her studio in Budapest, Hungary.  The fine shading, small brush strokes, and intricate details are the results of a very time-consuming process for each object.  Not only are Anna's creations elegant, but there is also a delightful touch of whimsy too.  Darling elements such as a brilliantly detailed butterfly, or a tiny ladybug happily flitting about, grace many pieces, sometimes in the most unsuspecting places like inside a cup or underneath a plate. 

Inspired by Thomas Hooker’s botanical artwork, Anna’s plate also features two charming butterflies, a dragonfly and a bug peeking out from underneath a leaf.

Inspired by Thomas Hooker’s botanical artwork, Anna’s plate also features two charming butterflies, a dragonfly and a bug peeking out from underneath a leaf.

Do you pay attention to trends in colors, or how do you choose your color palettes? 

I do not follow any trend or fashion.  I love flowers, they are the most wonderful creations on earth.  I am inspired by the 17th and 18th Century botanical painters: Ehret, Redoute, Alexander Marshal, Nicolas Robert. 

The people who buy my porcelain do not belong to any specific age group, they choose my porcelain because they love my porcelain which is hand-painted with flowers and butterflies.

What an honor to have been chosen to design a pair of cachepots for Princess Diana!  What was your inspiration when given this invitation?

Anna Wintour of Vogue Magazine commissioned me to create gifts for Princess Diana when she was visiting Washington, D.C.  I created a pair of hand-painted cachepots, based on the paintings of the British botanical artist, John Hooker.  The decorations were fruit paintings and I still produce these designs for my dinner plate collection.  Catherine Graham (owner of The Washington Post) also commissioned me to design a collection of hand-painted porcelain gifts for her guests attending the events for Princess Diana.  I even designed a green chiffon evening dress for Elizabeth Dole who attended the dinner with Princess Diana. 

Here is an example of the fruit plate inspired by Thomas Hooker’s British botanical paintings.

Here is an example of the fruit plate inspired by Thomas Hooker’s British botanical paintings.

For the White House, you were chosen multiple times to create porcelain pieces.  What inspired you? 

For the White House, I produced a large dinner table setting.  The design was based on the very old magnolia tree at the White House garden.  Every year I create a new hand-painted porcelain Easter Egg for the White House Historical Association Shop.

A merry medley featuring some of Anna’s stunning creativity, savvy and bug whimsy!

A merry medley featuring some of Anna’s stunning creativity, savvy and bug whimsy!

On a number of your designs, you have images of butterflies that are very detailed.  What inspired you to incorporate them into the designs/patterns?  

The very first design I created many years ago is still the most popular one:   just butterflies.  I like to think that the designs I have created are timeless: delicate green leaves, flowers, little insects, butterflies.  I do not design formal table settings.  I always suggest that the dinner table should be like a flower garden, choose your favorite flower from my large collection and mix and match the plates.

In addition, there are porcelain leaves that are perfect for serving dessert or a first course, little scalloped square plates for bread or pastry, cups for salad or soup, mugs or pitchers for flowers, and small trays for serving salad or lunch.

In Anna Weatherly’s Washington, D.C. studio, there is an abundance of choices, a veritable candy store of elegant porcelains.

In Anna Weatherly’s Washington, D.C. studio, there is an abundance of choices, a veritable candy store of elegant porcelains.

How do you attribute being discovered and growing your business so successfully?  Was there a particular teacher, a critic, a collector who inspired you? 

I was not "discovered" as a porcelain designer.  About 30 years ago, I walked into Asprey, the British Jewelers on 5th Avenue, without an appointment.  I was carrying six Redoute dinner plates in a paper bag.  Asprey purchased the plates and ordered more.  The rest is history… and I still produce the same Redoute plates today!

Anna Weatherly has a marvelous presence on Instagram (@anna_weatherley_designs).  The Michelin-starred restaurant, The Inn at Little Washington, features her porcelain.  Only the most distinguished shops carry her line, and my sponsor, Scully & Scully, on Park Avenue in NYC, offers a brilliant collection.  And, OH… if you spy the pair of pink-flowered cachepots?  They have my name on them! 

A rare photograph of the charmingly elusive Anna Weatherley in her Washington, D.C. studio.

A rare photograph of the charmingly elusive Anna Weatherley in her Washington, D.C. studio.

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Manners That Never Change!

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On the door to our Hunt Room at Fox Hall, we have two references to George Washington, the larger one featuring his handsome grey horse, Blueskin.

On the door to our Hunt Room at Fox Hall, we have two references to George Washington, the larger one featuring his handsome grey horse, Blueskin.

"Every action done in company, ought to be done with some sign of respect to those that are present.” This is the first rule in 110 Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation, and is a welcome reminder for kindness, especially in today’s society.

As an exercise in penmanship as a teenager, George Washington copied, in abbreviated form, the 110 Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation. The rules were based on the French Jesuits, who originally composed them in the late 16th century. These maxims played a role in shaping the character of our first President of the United States. He took them to heart. These rules were generally thought to be aristocratic, yet Washington interpreted them as decent behavior appropriate for our budding new nation, for equals and near equals. They still hold true today, so I chose a few to share with you. The clever wording is rather amusing, too!

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A peek at a few of the 110 rules:

4. In the presence of others, sing not to yourself with a humming noise, nor drum with your fingers or feet. 
(This can be applicable to ringing or vibrating cell phones too, right?!)

5. If you cough, sneeze, sigh, or yawn, do it not loud but privately; and speak not in your yawning, but put your handkerchief or hand before your face and turn aside.

(Sneezing into one’s elbow/arm is now acceptable and encouraged!) 

15. Keep your nails clean and short, also your hands and teeth clean yet without showing any great concern for them.

(To discuss the bleaching of your teeth or the act of filing your nails in public is a no-no.)

38. In visiting the sick, do not presently play the physician if you do not know therein.

(But, offering homemade chicken soup is always appreciated!) 

68. ….Give not advice without being asked, and when desired, do it briefly.

(My in-laws were stellar examples of not giving advice or opinions to my husband and me unless they were asked.  It is an admirable quality, and one I am still learning from and try to emulate!) 

The dining room at Mount Vernon, George Washington’s home in Alexandria, Virginia. Can you imagine the conversations that transpired around this table, along with the civil manners? Photo source: @mount_vernon

The dining room at Mount Vernon, George Washington’s home in Alexandria, Virginia. Can you imagine the conversations that transpired around this table, along with the civil manners? Photo source: @mount_vernon

With table manners in mind before Easter Sunday:

97. Put not another bit into your mouth till the former is swallowed.  Let not your morsels be too big for the jowls.

(Oh dear, no one wants jowls, no matter what!)

98. Drink not nor talk with your mouth full; neither gaze about you while you are drinking. 

(Eating with your mouth open is never a good idea!)

99. Drink not too leisurely nor yet too hastily. Before and after drinking, wipe your lips...

( I don’t have “leisurely control” when savoring a coffee milkshake, but I do wipe my lips!)

100. Cleanse not your teeth with the table cloth napkin, fork, or knife; but if others do it, let it be done without a peep to them. 

(I would be guilty of “peeping” if my children ever did this!) 
 

Lastly, the rule that contributes to the core essence of civility:

110. Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.

Respect, courtesy, humility, and a good conscience contribute to enriching one’s life with honor.  These guidelines of behavior and general courtesies remain relevant today… let’s pay them forward! 


Consider inspiring a friend to subscribe to MMM today! You may also join me on Instagram for daily inspiration.

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Oh, the tender charm of “little” bouquets!

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Lilacs from our garden adorn my daughter Caroline’s monogrammed baby cup, which rests upon a small round silver tray on a table in the living room at Fox Hall. Such a sweet memory to behold for me: my daughter’s baby cup and my mum’s favorite spring…

Lilacs from our garden adorn my daughter Caroline’s monogrammed baby cup, which rests upon a small round silver tray on a table in the living room at Fox Hall. Such a sweet memory to behold for me: my daughter’s baby cup and my mum’s favorite spring flowers!

There is something quite charming about little, diminutive flower bouquets sprinkled about in your house. With Easter upon us, the hopeful anticipation of colorful, fragrant spring flowers comes to mind. No matter what the size of your house, consider making a few petite flower arrangements using small and unique vases. The joy and allure of hunting for, and finding Easter eggs and candy, complements the discovery of a few lilliputian-sized floral arrangements (any time of the year)... both are teeny treasures that bring unexpected delight!

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I just received the sweetest pink bunny, pressed glass, egg cup as a gift from our sponsor, Backcountry Mercantile. The owner, Amanda, melds lovely vintage pieces along with her new, carefully curated Italian ceramic pieces. I immediately thought: I can use this as a flower vase! I still have impatiens growing, so it was easy to pluck a few. Voila, an instant arrangement… darling and done!

These tiny silver riding boot vases are from England. The flowers were picked from my mother-in-law’s prolifically bountiful Cape Cod garden.

These tiny silver riding boot vases are from England. The flowers were picked from my mother-in-law’s prolifically bountiful Cape Cod garden.

A dignified way to decorate a serving platter of nibbles or a cheese tray is to place a silver baby cup or egg cup, filled with flowers, too. I anchor the vessel with a tiny piece of poster-board clay so that the flower arrangement will not topple or slide. Be creative and think of small vessels you can use. Below is a silver cigarette holder which appears to be a miniature champagne bucket!

A bedside table, drinks table, side table, coffee table, or powder room are all perfect places for a cheerful little bouquet, even alongside some bubbly. More examples are in my book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room. Inscribed copies are available…

A bedside table, drinks table, side table, coffee table, or powder room are all perfect places for a cheerful little bouquet, even alongside some bubbly. More examples are in my book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room. Inscribed copies are available at Scully & Scully.

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Consider inspiring a friend to subscribe to MMM today! You may also join me on Instagram for daily inspiration.

Children’s manners do matter!

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Honestly, the best gift of all is being surrounded by six of our eight grandchildren, especially with the magic of Christmas in the air! Mummy had me write my thank you notes two days after Christmas. She placed the presents near my desk so that I c…

Honestly, the best gift of all is being surrounded by six of our eight grandchildren, especially with the magic of Christmas in the air! Mummy had me write my thank you notes two days after Christmas. She placed the presents near my desk so that I could see them when I wrote the notes, which made the task a wee bit easier to do as a child, thinking: Presents = thank you notes = the potential of more presents in the future!

How inspiring it is to receive so many lovely responses from you all each week!  Thank you for also offering your clever suggestions for MMM, for which I am grateful.  I am going to share a few, about enlightening your children, which are worthy of your attention.  After a year of Covid hiatus, it may be time to refresh some manners that matter, as you and your children venture back into social situations again.  Alleluia to that!  These genteel pearls of graciousness are still relevant, no matter what a relaxed society may suggest.  Teaching by example, and sharing these thoughtful gestures, will serve your children well throughout their life!

 Children’s thank you notes:  

“I would like to comment about Mummy's Monday Manner’s discussion on the subject of thank you notes, along with the importance of writing them.  I think it is very discouraging to see that many of today's parents do not encourage their children to write thank you notes, and most of the time, never mention the concept of them to their children.  Learning to write a thank you note is an important skill for children.  It is a skill that they truly need because, at some point in their lives, they will receive gifts!  My parents taught me to write thank you notes and they made it a fun task.  I didn't mind writing the notes because I was very happy to receive any gift that someone was kind enough to give me!”  ~ C.C., Kentucky 

I have touched upon this in past newsletters, noting that even a scribbly crayon artwork from a little one who is too young to write, or a pretty painting, like this petite fox given to me by my talented granddaughter, sweet Felicity, can become a t…

I have touched upon this in past newsletters, noting that even a scribbly crayon artwork from a little one who is too young to write, or a pretty painting, like this petite fox given to me by my talented granddaughter, sweet Felicity, can become a treasured thank you note. Acknowledging a gift is a precious gesture that will be truly appreciated by the gift giver.

Protocols based on gender and age: 

“My mother taught me, and my siblings, a whole set of protocols based on gender and age.  Here are a few:  

Introductions:

~First, a young person does not offer his hand to an older man or woman until the older party offers to shake hands first.  

~Second, a young person always stands when an elder enters the room, be they male or female. 

~When a young lady reaches maturity (and the precise age was rather fuzzy), she stands for an older woman but not for a man who might enter the room.  

~A young man always stands up when his elders enter the room!  

Serving at a dinner party at home:

 Similarly, when (in the absence of a staff!) one helps one’s mother serve dinner at a dinner party, whether formal or casual:

~One serves the oldest woman first (and from the left!) and then the remaining women more or less in order of age, followed by the eldest gentleman, and so on down to the children in attendance. 

~When removing the dishes (from the right!), one follows the same order beginning with the eldest woman.”   ~ P.S., Connecticut 

Thank you, C.C. and P.S. for your discerning pieces of advice.  I hope that these may inspire you to enlighten your little ones, especially while they are young and impressionable.  Do let me know the manners that you feel are important to impart onto your children, especially after Covid quarantine! 

Consider inspiring a friend with children or grandchildren, to subscribe to MMM today!   You may also join me on Instagram for daily inspiration. 

Capture them now, while they are young!

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When our son was eight, we commissioned an artist to paint his portrait. We took the artist, along with our son, Stuart III, and his dog, Higgins, to a field of flowers near our stable. I photographed him, while she sketched the scene. The next week…

When our son was eight, we commissioned an artist to paint his portrait. We took the artist, along with our son, Stuart III, and his dog, Higgins, to a field of flowers near our stable. I photographed him, while she sketched the scene. The next week, she came to our house to paint a study of him. Then, she took my photographs, as a reference point, and painted the final version in her studio. She is no longer taking commissions, sadly. We cherish having this portrait that hangs in our kitchen sitting-room at Fox Hall.

Nothing says a “classic and traditional family” more than the presence of a charming and bespoke pastel, watercolor, or oil portrait of your precious child (or children), discreetly displayed in your home.  A portrait, that is tastefully commissioned and executed, continues to be a time-honored tradition embraced in noble homes.  Children’s portraits have historically been displayed in the most prestigious homes, from English country and historic houses to contemporary and traditional interiors.  A sweet portrait of your child is a prized, prototypical, decorative element. 

I just adore the historic aspect, along with the impressibility, of pastels as the medium used for a portrait.  Pastels were created in the 15th century.  There is a fragility, an allure, and a softness that only pastels can relay.  From Leonardo da Vinci to Mary Cassatt and Edgar Degas, their masterful use of pastels, especially for children’s portraits, has left an indelible impression on my psyche and the visual experience of their art.  I do not mean to disparage oils or acrylic paint, but I do have an affinity for pastel portraiture. 

When I was at Blenheim Palace, I will never forget climbing the circular staircase in the Private Apartments with Lady Henrietta Spencer-Churchill, while we were filming her childhood home for an episode of my PBS television series.  I glanced up to see the most charming portrait of Henrietta with her brother, now the 12th Duke of Marlborough, when they were young children together.  This memory of discovering this sweet portrait has stayed with me.  There is something to be said for having an artist capture the essence and innocent allure of your children at a young age. 

Consider commissioning an artist when your child is old enough to sit for at least an hour at a time... after the age of four, perhaps?  (Bribery is usually a necessity!)  And yes, portraits certainly can be created from a photograph.  But for me, I believe an actual study of the child, painted in situ, captures the true enchantment of them.  Call me a purist!  

As an example, in my first book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room, on page 327 there is an oil study of my daughter, Caroline, which was loosely painted in one sitting.  It was a “study” by the artist. 

In my second book, Pearls of Palm Beach, this portrait is featured on page 85. The noted Cuban artist, Pedro Menocal (who also drew the official portrait of Nancy Reagan), created a lovely pastel portrait of Eileen Burns and her three beautiful daug…

In my second book, Pearls of Palm Beach, this portrait is featured on page 85. The noted Cuban artist, Pedro Menocal (who also drew the official portrait of Nancy Reagan), created a lovely pastel portrait of Eileen Burns and her three beautiful daughters, in the chapter: Irish House. This pastel portrait captures the quintessence of mother-daughter love!

Grandmillenial Tips:

While living in Taipei, Taiwan, Mummy had a Chinese artist paint me at age eleven whilst holding my dog, Mischief.  Knowing that blue was a color she incorporated into most of her interiors, she had the artist transform my “Peck & Peck” green smocked dress into a soft, Wedgwood blue.  Oh, the magic of an artist! 

If you have individual portraits done for each child during varying years, attempt to use the same artist, or at least make the artwork the same size.  Then, have them framed similarly so that they complement one another when hung together. 

Commission a portrait of your child to give as a gift to their grandparents.  My daughter Caroline did this for us and it is adorable! 

For some reason, children’s portraits tend to be more timeless without their teeth showing.

No children?  Consider commissioning a portrait of your beloved dog or horse, while they are young, as well!

Ron Ramsey, the former Art Director of Golf Magazine for over 18 years, is also a very accomplished artist and excels at portraits in various mediums. Look at this watercolor… isn’t it wonderful? (A two for one: child and horse!) He painted the two …

Ron Ramsey, the former Art Director of Golf Magazine for over 18 years, is also a very accomplished artist and excels at portraits in various mediums. Look at this watercolor… isn’t it wonderful? (A two for one: child and horse!) He painted the two adorable daughters of my lifelong friend, Nancy Wall, which have hung in her living room for well over thirty years. I have always admired them! He also creates house renderings. Ron’s website will be up soon, but until then, he can be contacted via email by clicking here.

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To have a child’s portrait featured over the most prominent space in your house, the living room mantelpiece.  Even though your children are the most important treasures to you, consider a more discrete area to hang their portraits such as the hallway, bedroom, or even the breakfast room!
 

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Secret Stories Quietly Hidden

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My grandfather, Major John Johnston Kirkpatrick, attended the Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst in England and served in Tientsin, China. He was an avid horseman and polo player. While there, he met my grandmother, who was English too, but born in…

My grandfather, Major John Johnston Kirkpatrick, attended the Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst in England and served in Tientsin, China. He was an avid horseman and polo player. While there, he met my grandmother, who was English too, but born in Tientsin, China where her father was a Western diplomat advising the Qing Dynasty on trade.

Recently, while visiting Foxcroft School for girls in Middleburg, Virginia with my husband, I had a flashback to my wedding.  My dear college friend and bridesmaid, who had attended Foxcroft, asked me a week before my wedding if I had chosen a wedding band for Stuart.  “A wedding band?” I asked.  “Do I need one?”  “Well,” she answered, “Does his father wear one?”  I asked his sister and she confirmed that he did.  Thank heavens she posed this question!  My British father never wore a wedding band.  He only wore a family crest ring on his left pinky.  I had no idea about wedding bands for men.  The thought had never crossed my mind… call me naive!  I quickly visited a jewelry store in Richmond to purchase a wedding band, and I prayed that it would fit.  Thank heavens, it still does after 45 years!

My father, my brother, and my father’s British brother, all wore the same traditional yellow gold, oval-faced signet ring, aka crest ring, on their left pinky finger, with the Kirkpatrick family crest engraved on it.  My beloved father died when I was sixteen, so asking him why he did not wear a wedding band was not an option as a young 21-year-old bride.  I am grateful that Mummy gave me my father’s signet ring, especially since my middle name is Kirkpatrick.  She too had been given her family crest ring. 

In medieval times, members of nobility used these rings to seal letters or mark important documents.  By the 14th century, official documents were required to have the seal of the King’s signet ring, which was the most prized seal of all.  Tantamount to a signature, the signet ring was used as a seal when dipped in hot wax, to show authenticity, similar to a fingerprint or an embossed seal of a notary republic today!  The signet ring wax seal was considered more official than a signature, because the ring had specific markings identified by the person wearing it, thus avoiding forgery. 

The signet ring has also been referred to as a “gentleman’s ring,” and has a long and fascinating history.  They have been worn by people of influence and noblemen for centuries, and have been used to establish lineage and social standing.  Typically, British crest rings are engraved with the family crest, and usually not the full coat of arms or armorial shield.  Inherited signet rings are still worn by aristocratic families in Europe, such as the Royal family in England.  Prince Charles’ signet ring, featuring the feathers of his emblem, is worn on his left pinky finger, whilst Sir Winston Churchill wore one on his right hand. 

Our Kirkpatrick family ring has only the "crest," not the shield or "coat of arms."

Our Kirkpatrick family ring has only the "crest," not the shield or "coat of arms."

I cherish my crest ring and the family history it represents.  When you meet someone wearing one, realize that it is a subtle hint into their past.  It can be simply fascinating to learn more about them through the explanation of their ring.  And, this is why I was inspired to introduce you to the concept that there is a secret story quietly hidden within the engraving of a crest ring. 

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To wear a crest ring that does not belong to your family lineage.  Instead, design a signet ring with your monogram, or wear one with the seal of a society you belong to, a college, a club, or something of significance to you, thus making the ring an authentic representation of you.

A portion of the Kirkpatrick coat of arms, depicted on my family crest ring, is a hand with a dagger and three drops of blood. The clan motto for the coat of arms is, “I mak sikkar,” meaning, “I make sure.” During the Scottish Wars of Independence, …

A portion of the Kirkpatrick coat of arms, depicted on my family crest ring, is a hand with a dagger and three drops of blood. The clan motto for the coat of arms is, “I mak sikkar,” meaning, “I make sure.” During the Scottish Wars of Independence, Kirkpatrick drew his dagger to assist Robert the Bruce and said these words. The main historic seat of Kirkpatrick is Closeburn Castle, in the late 1300s.


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The Symbolic Meaning of Flowers

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Pink peonies from my husband, Stuart’s, garden at Fox Hall, intertwined with mountain laurel, are arranged as a colorful centerpiece for a dinner party. Did you know that mountain laurel, the state flower of Connecticut, symbolizes a mark of achieve…

Pink peonies from my husband, Stuart’s, garden at Fox Hall, intertwined with mountain laurel, are arranged as a colorful centerpiece for a dinner party. Did you know that mountain laurel, the state flower of Connecticut, symbolizes a mark of achievement and perseverance, and my beloved pink peonies relay the beauty of marriage and love at first sight? These two flower varieties and colors discreetly offer a loving tribute, in the secret language of flowers, to my darling husband of 45 years!

Every day is the perfect day to give, receive or admire pretty flowers!  But are you aware of the secret language of flowers?  Besides merely admiring them, the color and the variety of various flowers can have symbolic meaning behind them... a secret language. 

During the Victorian ages, the language of flowers was an ingenious way of expressing intimate, romantic feelings to another, back when it was taboo to do so blatantly.  The color and type of flower chosen was a silent dialogue.  I was unaware of this lovely language until I discovered a precious little book, placed by my bedside, at my mother-in-law's charming Cape Cod house.  (As an avid, voracious reader, she consistently selects fascinating books to pique our interests and places them in the various bedrooms.  It is a gracious gesture that I now emulate for my guests and family too.) 

The little book was about the secret language of flowers.  There are many books written about floriography, the coded communication through various flowers and their colors.  I was intrigued and enthralled with this creative concept, probably because I adore flower arranging.  I asked myself, "What secret message am I relaying with the flowers I give to others?"  Not that the recipient would ever know, but it is amusing to consider, once you know that there is a language!

I am not alone; others are fascinated with the secret language and symbolic meaning, too.  Christian Dior had a passion for Lily of the Valley and chose it for his classic perfume, Diorissimo, designing it on the bottle and many other creations.  The symbol of Lily of the Valley means purity, a return to happiness, and humility.  Coco Chanel adored the white Camellia (or Chinese Rose), a symbol of everlasting love and devotion.  Oscar Wilde wore a green Carnation on his lapel, which was his secret hint that he was a man who loved other men. 

This classic arrangement of white roses at The Ritz Hotel in London represents, in flower language, a sign of purity and a symbol of respect, which is one reason they are also often featured in bridal bouquets.

This classic arrangement of white roses at The Ritz Hotel in London represents, in flower language, a sign of purity and a symbol of respect, which is one reason they are also often featured in bridal bouquets.

Flower Colors:
Roses are red, violets are blue, kiss me, and I'll love you!
Typically, a bouquet of red roses indicates romance because the color red signifies love and passion.  
White: purity and grace
Pink: gratitude and admiration/femininity, gentility and elegance (Oh, I do like pink!) 
Peach: gratitude
Yellow: joy and gratitude
Purple: enchantment, love at first sight, and success
Orange: enthusiasm and energy (the university color of my husband’s alma mater!) 

Specific Flowers:
Anemones: anticipation and good luck (everyone could use good luck!)
Red Carnations: pride and beauty
Daisies: new beginnings (the flower for our daughters’ school, Miss Porter’s)
Gardenias: purity and secret love (reminds me of spring dances at St. Christopher’s School)
Hyacinths: playfulness and constancy (I adore the fragrance!) 
Lilacs: (magenta) love and passion; (purple) first love (Mummy’s favorite flower)
Lilies: purity and refined love
Peonies: happy marriage and good fortune (my favorite flower, yours too?)
Tulips: perfect love (my love, Stuart, plants masses of tulips at Fox Hall)

Grandmillennial Tips:

Consider sending cut flowers without a vase, the day before a dinner party to the hostess.  She can then arrange them in a container of her choice and display them before the party commences.

When sending flowers to someone that you don't know (or if you have not visited their house), send a white arrangement or a white orchid plant to be placed in any room in the house!  

Deliver an easy and meaningful toast by incorporating the secret language of the flowers on the table or in a bridal bouquet!  When my daughter Caroline’s friends in Park City, Utah, hosted a beautiful baby shower for her first baby, outside on the St. Regis Hotel terrace, I offered to make a little flower arrangement for each guest to take home. I chose flowers to complement the party’s color scheme, adding wildflowers from the mountains surrounding us.  I then looked up and noted each flower's meaning to integrate and compose my toast to her, making the arrangements even more meaningful to everyone.  This technique is easy if you want to make a memorable toast, even if you choose only one flower's meaning from within the table arrangement! 

A glimpse at the luncheon place setting on the verandah at Fox Hall, in honor of Lady Carnarvon’s visit from Highclere Castle. I arranged a little porcelain container of flowers for each guest to take home as a memento. Carnations originated from En…

A glimpse at the luncheon place setting on the verandah at Fox Hall, in honor of Lady Carnarvon’s visit from Highclere Castle. I arranged a little porcelain container of flowers for each guest to take home as a memento. Carnations originated from England, so I incorporated a few pink Carnations as a nod to her country, and the horse sculpture as a nod to our mutual passion for horses!

What color and variety of flowers did your lover send you for Valentine’s Day?!

Please join me for daily design inspiration on my Instagram!

Secret Traditions For Elegant Notes!

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Our family was happily gathered together at the base of an elaborate marble staircase, during the joyous wedding reception for our daughter, Caroline, and her new husband, Edward. Do you know where the venue is? Take a peek at the stamp on the envel…

Our family was happily gathered together at the base of an elaborate marble staircase, during the joyous wedding reception for our daughter, Caroline, and her new husband, Edward. Do you know where the venue is? Take a peek at the stamp on the envelope for a hint!

Oh my, what a brilliant reception the debut of my Dempsey & Carroll notecards have received.  Thank you all for your enthusiastic support and interest… and purchases!  

I hope that you are inspired to write more notes! With the plethora of emails and texts these days, a handwritten note is a precious sight to discover amongst a pile of bills and catalogs.  Even the hand-addressed envelope stands out as a surprise present.  Remember that a  handwritten note is a thoughtful gift you can easily give at any time.  It will be received like a sparkling gem or a ray of sunshine.  You know that someone has taken the time to compose, and mail, their meaningful words, which are meant just for you! Often, thank you notes are cherished and kept by the recipient forever.  I have accumulated several “keeper drawers” for those special notes. Do you have a keeper drawer too?

Here are a few old-school traditions and parlance for handwritten correspondence:

A “bread and butter note” is another way of referring to a thank you note sent to thank someone for their hospitality and sent within 48 hours of the event. 

Thank you notes are handwritten, never typed.

The most traditional choice for a writing instrument is a fountain pen.  Fountain pens have several different size nibs, as discussed in a former MMM. Blue ink is always a classic color choice. I adore using my signature pink ink and Mont Blanc pens! Remember, black ink is the most formal and always used for a sympathy note.  

The salutation on a note to a married couple is:
Formal: Dear Mr. and Mrs. Holden, (Mr. comes before Mrs.)
Informal: Dear Holly and Stuart (ladies first!)

In England, stationery and notepaper are always referred to as “writing paper.”

Choose your stamp to complement the color scheme of your writing paper, ink color, or the theme of the lining paper or occasion.  The wedding for our daughter, Caroline, was held at Marble House in Newport, RI.  Caroline designed the splendid stamps offering a peek at the stunning architecture of her wedding venue, as shown in the first photograph above.

Coordinating your pen ink color with the color of the stamp adds a tailored detail to your envelope.

Coordinating your pen ink color with the color of the stamp adds a tailored detail to your envelope.

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When your formal name includes a title (such as Mrs., Mr., Lady, Countess, General or Doctor) which is engraved or printed onto your stationery, you may draw a line through your name if you are writing to a dear friend. This is especially appropriate on a sympathy note. The line you draw through your name discreetly indicates that you are writing to them on a personal level, as a friend, and without formality. This is appropriate for any type of stationery that you have, and for any occasion, including a gift card enclosure. You do not draw a line through a monogram or if your name does not include a title before it.

The Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To assume that an email thank you note is a sufficient expression of gratitude after attending a dinner party.  It is not!  The amount of time and effort a hostess puts into a party solely for your pleasure should inspire you to take a few moments to acknowledge her with sincere recognition by writing a note.

No-no: To think that brides have up to one year to write a thank you note.  A thoughtful bride will write and acknowledge a wedding gift within three months of receiving the gift.

No-no: To buy writing paper or a card that has "thank you" already printed on it.  You are writing a note to say thank you, so there is no need to have the stationery company print it on the card for you.  The same is applicable for a store-bought “sympathy” card.  Your sympathy is extended within the thoughtful words that you compose on white writing paper, using black ink.

No-no: When addressing an envelope, using the words “To” or “From.”  The placement on the envelope of the address to the recipient, and the placement of the return address on the upper left-hand corner, or on the back center of the envelope flap, indicates who the envelope is addressed to, and who it is from.

For those of you who are in OR near Palm Beach… guess what?

Pearls of Palm Beach: A secret peek into eight timeless and tailored elegant houses, my new book, is available for purchase at Lori Jayne’s store at 304 S. County Road, Palm Beach!  But, be forewarned... when you visit, you may come out with more than just a book upon entering her enticingly beautiful shop which is filled with all the goodies I adore! 

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There is such a treasure trove of talent in Atlanta, Georgia, at Fred Reed Framing, which has been creating one of a kind, fabulous bespoke frames since 1947! Their frames are made starting from the raw wood which is cut, assembled, carved, hand-painted, and gold leafed. The splendid French mats are intricately laid out, and each line and panel are hand-painted in watercolor by one of their skilled artists, all of which have graduated from SCAD (The Savannah College of Art and Design) in Atlanta. Fred Reed Framing has a full custom line of creations: bespoke TV screens with art to cover the TV (brilliant!), shaped frames for mirrors, and large pieces of art. All of their creations are stunning!

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My debut at Dempsey & Carroll Stationery!

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Have you ever received something that strikes you as the essence of exceptional quality, and also uniquely beautiful, so much so that you want to learn more about it?  Over twenty years ago, I opened up a thank you note from a very dear friend in Farmington, originally from NYC, who has impeccably refined taste in all things tailored and traditional.  I admired the handsome texture of the paper, the signature blue color, and the bespoke engraved monogram.  That same day, I opened up a bespoke gift note that accompanied a hostess present from another dear friend who is a very stylish CEO living in NYC and London.  Both note papers had meticulously detailed engraving, and the cotton fiber paper had an elegant feel too.  It inspired me to look at the name of the stationery company embossed on the envelopes.  Voila!  That was my first introduction to Dempsey & Carroll, stationery engravers since 1878, and undoubtedly with a very discerning worldwide clientele who appreciate the art of correspondence.

As you can well imagine, I was simply overjoyed and honored when Dempsey & Carroll invited me to create a bespoke “Holly Holden” notecard to offer in their store and online!   It was such a delight to work with their accomplished team to create the design of my gold fox logo on white stock, along with an exclusive pink and gold design for the envelope liner.  I am so excited for the debut of these notecards to the world today! 

Dempsey & Carroll also invited me to an interview for their website, to introduce me to their clientele.  Below, are my answers in reference to their questions about writing paper:

What are your correspondence rituals? Do you write a little bit or somewhat often? Maybe you catch up on correspondence on a certain day of the week? 

First thing in the morning, I love to make a pot of Countess Grey loose tea from Fortnum & Mason, and if I have personal correspondence to do, I sit down at our dining room table to write.  I purposely do not write personal notes in my office.  I savor the moments of early morning as “my time” to enjoy corresponding with dear friends and loved ones while sitting in a beautifully quiet room.

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Tell us about your own correspondence! Do you have separate papers for business and personal?

Oh goodness, yes, I do have separate papers for business and personal!  Can you guess what my color of choice is?!  Yes, pink ink for my business logo, on white laid paper, and either pink, black or gold for my engraved personal papers.  I adore the quality of Dempsey & Carroll.  Discovering the traditional loose piece of tissue paper between each engraved card to prevent the ink from smudging when being delivered on my new Holly Holden line of notecards, relays to me a time when grace and gentility reigned.

Mummy was an advocate for fine stationery, especially for engraved pieces, and she was a stickler for promptly responding to invitations and writing thank you notes!  I took it for granted that she would use a fountain pen and engraved writing paper to excuse me from school for an appointment or for sick days.  She adored her classic blue paper and used traditional blue ink in her fountain pen.  But, I think my true appreciation for writing paper came from the variety of formal wedding R.s.v.p. responses from my guests.  Back then, preprinted response cards were not an option, and I continued the same tradition for our daughters’ weddings too!  It was such fun to see the handwritten responses, because one’s choice of stationery speaks louder than words.  What individuals choose represents them in their own unique way, from the paper stock and color, to the unique fonts and colors, insignias, crests, titles and monograms, to the pen ink color and the choice of lining for the envelopes.  These are some of the nuances that make each piece one of a kind, just like the personality who sends it.  

What is your #1 piece of advice for lovely living that most people might not know about?

There are so many aspects of lovely living that I cannot narrow it down to a #1 piece of advice!  In reference to writing paper and correspondence, I can share some secrets that are not necessarily found in etiquette books, but passed down from generation to generation, by word of mouth.  Handwriting is alive and well, and not a lost art, especially for those who understand the social and business significance of a hand-written note.

You can clearly see the “Dempsey & Carroll” name embossed on the left inside edge of the envelope.

You can clearly see the “Dempsey & Carroll” name embossed on the left inside edge of the envelope.

A few of my secrets and  “forbidden faux pas”:

-Avoid starting your letter with the word “I”  as it gives the impression that you are more important than the person you are writing to.  

-Sidestep starting your correspondence with “Thank you.”  Instead, first explain why you are grateful and happy to receive the gift, how you will use it, and then conclude with the thank you. 

-Seal only the tip of the envelope V flap, instead of sealing the entire envelope flap, making it easier for the recipient to open the envelope.  By doing so, they can also have a peek at the embossed name of the stationery company, found on the back left, under the flap.

I share many more correspondence secrets in five previous MMM newsletters about “How to write a thank you note,” which are listed on my website under the sign-up form.  

The complete Dempsey & Carroll interview includes what inspired me to become a designer, my favorite color palette, thoughts on color trends, some challenges as a designer, my pen of choice, and my favorite room to design.

The notecards, in packages of 10, are available through Dempsey & Carroll, and are true to tradition, exquisitely boxed and presented. Their lovely store is located at 1049 Lexington Avenue in New York City.  

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Exclusive Interview with the Founder of Jude Connally Clothing

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Jude Zimmerman, founder and CEO of the Jude Connally classic clothing line, is wearing the classic Taylor Shirt.

Jude Zimmerman, founder and CEO of the Jude Connally classic clothing line, is wearing the classic Taylor Shirt.

One lovely August day, five years ago, my husband Stuart and I were off to the Saratoga Races, our summer tradition.  Afterwards, we strolled along Broadway in historic Saratoga Springs when Stuart spied a pretty hot pink and white lattice designed dress in a store window.  He promptly bought it for me.  That was my first Jude Connally piece, and the most comfortable dress ever!  I was hooked.  Soon, every color came home with me!  Welcome to the world of Jude Zimmerman, the clever designer who created a charming line of clothes in her unique “Jude material,” which is soft, machine washable, wrinkle-free and made in NYC.  I was inspired to learn more about Jude and how she created her line of clothes that are timeless, pretty, and continue to flatter any figure...  now, that is a real plus!
 

What inspired you to start your own clothing line business?

I was 47, raising two sons, and in a job I didn’t like.  It was April 2009 and I was running the More Magazine Half Marathon when I had an epiphany.  I was asking God to give me something to think about because I had wiped my time off my watch, and I was obsessing about finishing the race in under two hours.  Moments later, a woman in a lovely bright blue printed skort went running by me.  She stood out in a sea of black that all the other runners were dressed in.  It was like this flash of beauty.  Immediately I thought, “wouldn’t it be really cool if I could create a line of clothing that allows you to feel good in it while wearing it, but is also fashionable and pretty?!”  That was it!  I had my purpose and got to work.  I launched my first collection one year later in April of 2010. 

What is your method of production? Do you sketch before you create your designs or do you let the magic come before you while making your creations?

The process all begins with the color story and inspiring prints!  I am always inspired by anything from nature and from what’s happening in the Interior Design world.  Once we decide on the color palette and print direction, we determine what styles we feel might be needed or wanted by our customers.  My collection is really considered a uniform for so many of our customers.  We only create a few new styles each season, as the newness really comes from the colors and the prints.

What have been your most successful pieces?

Our simple Beth shift dressMegan tunic dressTrixie and Lucia pull-on pants and versatile Morgan skort are favorites!  The “Fab Five” as we like to call them, are staples in every woman’s closet.  They are in our “easy-care easy-wear” Jude Cloth. 

How did you decide on using such versatile fabric? It stretches and doesn’t wrinkle- brilliant! 

Ah…. the fabric!  Yes, my entire vision for the collection of beautiful clothes was always about COMFORT!  I grew up wearing dresses to school, and playclothes when I got home.  Can you guess what I preferred to wear?  Playclothes!   So, I searched high and low in fabric stores in NYC for just the right touch and feel.  When I found it, I thought, EUREKA!  I quickly bought a few yards and brought it to a pattern maker who made my first Jude dress.  It was love at first sight, and it felt amazing on the body!!  Adult playclothes!

Your wonderful dress creations are timeless, which I adore! How do you keep them so “au courant?”

I believe classic styles have all the right bones and you just need to tweak them periodically to keep them “au courant.”  I simply adjust things like the sweep, a subtle increase or decrease in length, a repositioning of a dart, etc.  The details make the difference. 

The moment I put on this Cora Top, a soft tunic with a ruffled neckline and sleeves, I was enamored with it!

The moment I put on this Cora Top, a soft tunic with a ruffled neckline and sleeves, I was enamored with it!

My favorite color is pink! Do you have a favorite color? Is there a color that you would say is associated with or considered a trademark color for Jude Connally? 

My favorite color is navy, as it is the backdrop for all other beautiful colors!  Navy compliments my other favorite colors, orange, fuchsia, blue and green.  Orange is probably the color I would say represents the brand, as it radiates warmth and happiness.  The color psychology of orange is optimistic and uplifting, rejuvenating our spirit.  That’s what I hope our collection does for you!

Jude is wearing a head-to-toe ponte from a previous collection.

Jude is wearing a head-to-toe ponte from a previous collection.

What advice do you give to entrepreneurs just starting out? 

Be courageous and follow your intuition.  Don’t be afraid of making mistakes, and if something doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t.  Always be honest and ask lots of questions.  And don’t ever think you can’t do it.  You can!

Was your Mummy a stickler for good manners? Any particular lesson learned that has served you well? 

Yes, my mother was a stickler for manners.  One lesson that has served me well over the years is to always address people by their name, never just say “hello” or “hi.”  I was raised to always address my elders as Mr. and Mrs.  Another good manner was when visiting friends’ homes, you always said “thank you for having us,” or if we had company it was always “thank you for coming."  “Kindness counts" was a big one in our home, too.

Jude is an inspiration on so many levels! As a special treat, Jude is offering my MMM subscribers 20% off with this code: holly20

Do you know what a sizzle reel is?

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Do you know what a sizzle reel is? Hint: it has nothing to do with manners! Similar to a trailer, which is used to announce a new film, a sizzle reel is created to serve as a pitch, to entice and secure sponsors for a show. I thought it might be fun to share my sizzle reel, which was created to pitch my television series, You Are Cordially Invited. It served to attract Viking Cruises to become my sponsor!

The long story about “how and why” I created my television series, You Are Cordially Invited, which features privately owned, masterpiece houses in England, is often the topic of my “Regal Interior Design” talks, and will be in a forthcoming newsletter. But, since I have introduced you to the term “sizzle reel,” I wanted to offer a little glimpse into some of the steps it took to create my first episode, featuring Highclere Castle, aka Downton Abbey.

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After meeting with Lady Carnarvon, at Fox Hall, and agreeing to film together, my team and I flew to England for a “scouting trip” to meet with her. Lady Carnarvon is the 8th Countess of Carnarvon at Highclere Castle, which has been in the Earl of Carnarvon’s family for generations. It is handsomely maintained by their stewardship and commitment.

Once we decided which rooms to feature and agreed on the overall theme and outline, we then came back to the states to plan the final details and discuss them with the BBC crew hired to film. Detailed pages of elements to feature, history to share, conversation to consider, insurance to secure, wardrobe to purchase, and equipment to take, kept us all busy for two months.

We flew back to England to film. It was just about this time of year… cold and damp, with drizzle and sleet. It took three days to film. That was the fun part! Then, there were additional weeks of editing at the Connecticut PBS affiliate CPTV, more studio visits to write and record my “voice-overs,” the theme music to create and copyright, a convention to attend in Salt Lake City for American Public Television to promote to stations in the USA, and much more. Fortunately, an Emmy nomination blossomed from the hours invested in the project.

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It is hard to fathom that weeks and weeks of effort were required to create a product that is only 29 minutes long! I have a whole new level of appreciation for what truly contributes to the detailed nuances necessary to create a movie.

Look closely when viewing the sizzle reel, and you may get a peek at the secret door in the library, the newly minted porcelain with the Carnarvon crest, the massive oak staircase with a Sir Joshua Reynolds painting behind me, the dining room featuring the commanding equestrian portrait of King Charles I by Van Dyck, the butter-yellow wall upholstery and curtains, and yes, a yellow lab who does indeed live with the Carnarvons!

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An Exclusive Interview With Lori Jayne!

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Oh, bed! Oh, bed! Delicious bed! That heaven upon earth to the weary head. -Thomas Hood

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A luxurious present to yourself that will provide sweet dreams night after night, and delight your eyes day after day, are exquisite, bespoke bed linens!  

From the moment I first walked past the eye-catching windows of the two Lori Jayne stores on S. County Road in Palm Beach ten years ago, I was smitten. Lori Bernstein has created a charming paradise for anyone who appreciates beautiful linens… and sooo much more! You will discover not only elegant linens, but also extremely attractive gifts, which can be personalized, custom made, monogrammed, engraved, designed, and are always “presented” elegantly. Lori Jayne is where you go when you want to get EXACTLY what you want. Timeless, tailored, and oh, so much FUN! 

Hearing that Lori created a new line of linens with custom embroidery designs named after the charming streets of Palm Beach (the top left photo is the Primavera Way design), I decided to focus on her bed linens. I met with Lori to discuss and learn more… two hours flew by! Here is a condensed version of what I gleaned from her expertise, which I am excited to pass on to you. 

~Basically, there are two kinds of decorative embroidery embellishments for bed linens: applique or embroidery. Applique is an ‘accent fabric’ that is embroidered (stitched) on the edges and applied to the linen as the design, whereas embroidery is solely the thread design stitched on to the linen. 

~Any color combination of embroidery is possible for any design that you want. If you like one of her stunning pattern designs, then you may choose from endless colors and customize the pattern for your room, or create a unique design to complement the vintage fabric curtains you adore, or the artwork featured in your room, or replicate a discontinued pattern, or even consider adding the name or rendering of your house, or or or… endless options! A strike-off can be made for you to see, feel, and approve.

Lori’s chic model, her dog, lovingly poses on Lori’s “appliqué” bed linens.

Lori’s chic model, her dog, lovingly poses on Lori’s “appliqué” bed linens.

~The placement of the embroidery or applique design is usually placed on the top of the bed in a “U” shape design (going down both sides and across the foot of the bed). You may also add it again along the flange so the design will be in two places– both on top and around the edge of the coverlet or duvet (the cover used for your comforter) as seen below.

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~Recently I have become an advocate of the European fashion of bed making. A top sheet is not used, and instead, only a fitted sheet and a duvet are used to make the bed. It is one less sheet to buy, one less sheet to launder, and for children, it is one less step for them to make their bed… no excuses! 

~Pique, a textured cotton fabric, is a splendid material for duvets. Embroidery looks stunning on it, and pique launders well, and usually doesn’t require ironing. Lori has brilliantly created a duvet option with pique on the top, and a sateen sheet as the bottom side of the duvet, so that it is soft and cozy to the skin. Note to self: my next duvet will be this combination!

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~There are two kinds of comforters to choose to insert into the duvet. Traditionally, a comforter is filled with soft goose down, but an alternative is a pure mulberry silk insert. After feeling it, I will now refer to it simply as “sleeping on clouds.” It is light and heavenly! 

~The difference between sateen and percale bed linens: sateen is soft and cozy, whereas percale tends to be crisp and cooler. I adore the feel of sateen, and usually, it is forgiving about not ironing. When I asked about the importance of thread counts, Lori’s response was that thread counts don’t really count! High thread counts can also create a heavier sheet. What truly matters is what it feels like to you when you touch the fabric. Only then will you know what texture appeals to you. 

~Sham versus pillowcase? Lori prefers shams because the pillow is completely encased, unlike a pillowcase which has one open end for the pillow and looks a tad messy. A sham can have a few options, but traditionally either a knife-edge or a flange-edge. The flange extends out like a frame or flap around the actual pillow edge, which I prefer. Below, the Sweet Dreams pillow has a flange-edge, while the pillow with the scattered flowers has a knife-edge.

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~When monogramming a king-size duvet, do not skimp on the size of the monogram or it will look lost and disproportionate. This monogram was just created as a gift to a bride by her mum. This monogram is 19.5” wide, which looks appropriately sized for a king bed. Lori is capable of doing monograms up to 20” on-site in her showroom. Look how the embroidery design of the monogram picks up on the darling color and pattern nuances on the floral pillow. What a lucky bride! 

Lori and I always have such fun together! Her clever creativity and business savvy are so admirable. I featured her lovely Georgian home, which I labeled “The Lucky House,” in my Palm Beach book. Make a pilgrimage to her two stores; it is a “world is your oyster” experience. Quintessentially, this is where you go to create a custom gift for yourself or your lucky recipient. Her website is just a blink away from being launched, and perfect for those who can not travel to Palm Beach! In the meantime, you can phone the shop at 561-855-4290 or take a peek at Instagram here

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Grandmillennial Tips:

Try not to over-dry your bed linens, nor over-stuff the washing machine. Your linens will thank you over time.  

Lori recommends using Le Blanc Linen Wash, a specialty liquid soap that is triple-concentrated to handle tough jobs, but gentle enough for your fine linens. 

Consider giving a crib size custom designed duvet and comforter as a baby gift or for a small child. Once they outgrow it, you can use it as a throw for your bedroom as a sweet memory. It reminds me of Victor Hugo’s words, “A mother’s arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them.”

Welcome 2021!

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An elegantly festive doorway at Parterre, the Newport home of Bettie Bearden Pardee, is open to greet a few cherished friends on New Year’s Eve. Photo credit: Vibrant Optics

An elegantly festive doorway at Parterre, the Newport home of Bettie Bearden Pardee, is open to greet a few cherished friends on New Year’s Eve. Photo credit: Vibrant Optics

Glory be and alleluia!  Finally, it is a new year that brings with it the promise of a new beginning with renewed hope.

I was inspired to reach out to a few dear friends to learn how they were planning to celebrate their own private debut of 2021.  In consideration of the guidelines that Covid has forced us all to respect, I wanted to be inspired by their vision of bringing in this rather peculiar new year and share it with you.  I posed the simple question: How will you be spending this New Year’s Eve? 

Bettie Bearden Pardee, the creator of Private Newport, is a precious friend who is exceptionally accomplished in ALL aspects of lovely living.  If you are ever offered an invitation to visit Parterre, her glorious house and gardens in Newport... go! She is a fabulous cook, too. 

I'll be recalling a wonderful and ever more meaningful tradition of my mother's… a day after Christmas turkey curry buffet. But ours will be on New Year's Eve, with just 6 close friends, sitting fireside in the library. It's such a perfect selection…

I'll be recalling a wonderful and ever more meaningful tradition of my mother's… a day after Christmas turkey curry buffet. But ours will be on New Year's Eve, with just 6 close friends, sitting fireside in the library. It's such a perfect selection for this setting as it's a "one-fork" dish (no knife needed). And the 8 condiments that accompany the curry add another level of festivity. Bon Appetit!

Tim Davis is the number one real estate broker in the Hampton’s, New York. My daughter-in-law, Karen, introduced me to Tim. I am so grateful for his enthusiastic support of my Instagram posts and MMM newsletter. Talk about an eye for real estate… he certainly has the gift.

A far cry from our New Year's Eve celebration two years ago, viewing the fireworks display from the penthouse at the Corinthia Hotel in London. This year we will enjoy a quiet evening with my son, his wife, and our grandchildren at our 1855 historic…

A far cry from our New Year's Eve celebration two years ago, viewing the fireworks display from the penthouse at the Corinthia Hotel in London. This year we will enjoy a quiet evening with my son, his wife, and our grandchildren at our 1855 historic home in Newport, currently in the midst of a major restoration project. Two of our five pups will be with us as well. 2020 will go down for us as a year of challenge and change, self-reflection, the arrival of our grandson, and creative Covid-safe connections with our loved ones. A Happy 2021 and God’s blessings to you and yours.

My dear friend, Andrea Kavanagh, the very clever creator of the divinely classic and quite notable Glam Pad blog, is a charming southerner who delights in all things elegant and beautifully timeless. She kindly shared her evening plans, capped with the ball drop at midnight! 

We are homebodies and always enjoy staying in on New Year's Eve, so this year will be no different.  Our tradition is to make delicious cheese fondue and sip champagne and ginger ale throughout the evening.  My father and I have watched the New Year's Twilight Zone Marathon on SYFY every year since I was young, and now my husband enjoys watching it with me as well, along with the Times Square ball drop on television.  This year we have all been living in a real-life Twilight Zone, so hopefully, everyone will make sure to eat their black-eyed peas (a classic Southern tradition we also enjoy) for good luck on January 1! 

When we were first married, Stuart and I celebrated New Year’s Eve at a ball at The Homestead Resort in Hot Springs, Virginia.  In the last few years, we have hosted an intimate black-tie dinner party with darling friends at Fox Hall.  This year our celebration was spent in the snow, around the fireplace in our house at Stratton Mountain, Vermont, with our son’s darling family.  Putting our best foot forward for the new year, we happily participated in a virtual wine tasting (courtesy of CEO.org) with Salvatore Ferragamo, the grandson, and namesake of one of my favorite fashion houses, Salvatore Ferragamo.  He is the CEO of their Tuscan winery, Il Borro.  Well, I have always adored and collected their shoes, and wouldn’t you know… now I am an advocate of their wine.  Yes, they excel at designing divine wines too! 

Having fun in Vermont with our family tasting the Ferragamo wines on New Year's Eve!

Having fun in Vermont with our family tasting the Ferragamo wines on New Year's Eve!

2021 will undoubtedly bring challenges. I wish you strength, happiness and all good health to carry you through to what we remember as a proper world filled with friends and travel. Even though it shall never be the same world as we remember, it will be one we are all richer for, with a newfound appreciation for what we love and care about. Cheers to 2021… to you, my dear subscribers!

Showing Gratitude!

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“Cheers to you!” An adorable gift of hand-printed cocktail napkins were sent to me by Lemondaisy Design last Christmas. I couldn’t wait to send Leslie, the owner, a photograph of how I used my “monkey business” napkins this year!

“Cheers to you!” An adorable gift of hand-printed cocktail napkins were sent to me by Lemondaisy Design last Christmas. I couldn’t wait to send Leslie, the owner, a photograph of how I used my “monkey business” napkins this year!

The Episcopal girl’s school I attended in Richmond, Virginia, has this motto: “What we keep we lose; only what we give remains our own.” Giving gratitude is one of life’s most important goals; do you agree? So, besides a handwritten note, make an effort to show or comment on how you use or will use the gift, what joy it brings to you, or why it is so meaningful to you. This will translate into a meaningful, heartfelt level of sincere gratitude to the gift-giver.

On my website, I have several MMM titles about “how to write a thank-you note.” But the topic today is how to recognize gifts beyond the required, de rigueur, thank-you note. A further gesture of thanks, especially for those especially appreciated gifts, is to acknowledge them in another way, at another time. It is a gentle gesture to share how much you appreciate the effort the giver invested in selecting the gift that they thought would delight you.  

An additional “nod of gratitude” tends to inspire the gift-giver to want to give even more. This is not the reason to go the extra mile with an additional thank you, though! Tantamount to a child who repeatedly thanks you for a homemade cookie, it is natural to be inspired to offer them yet another cookie simply because you feel their genuine gratitude and happiness. 

Christmas Day, a few years ago! As my darling daughter, Alexandra, opened gifts, she added the ribbon to her attire. This photograph captures her joy and gratitude to her ‘oh, so generous grandmother’ who elegantly wraps presents in fabulous ribbons!

Christmas Day, a few years ago! As my darling daughter, Alexandra, opened gifts, she added the ribbon to her attire. This photograph captures her joy and gratitude to her ‘oh, so generous grandmother’ who elegantly wraps presents in fabulous ribbons!

When you receive the gift of clothing, make an effort to wear the item when you know you will be seeing the person who gave it to you. Our daughters make a point of wearing the jewelry my husband and I have given them when they visit (smart move!). When I hear that they have used my recipe from the tried-and-true cookbook I created for them last Christmas, I feel so honored. The noble effort of a friend who sent a photograph of the book I sent her while on holiday, at the beach, made me smile, and the voice message I received from a relative commenting on how her dinner party guests adored the cocktail napkins we sent, gave me great pleasure. It does not take much to simply remark how much you appreciate a gift as you use it. It goes a long way on to the person who sent the gift to you.

A dear follower, Molly, sent me this beautiful silver coaster engraved with HH for my birthday, along with the most meaningful note. An Angel hopped on straightaway, to see her charming reflection, which I shared with Molly.

A dear follower, Molly, sent me this beautiful silver coaster engraved with HH for my birthday, along with the most meaningful note. An Angel hopped on straightaway, to see her charming reflection, which I shared with Molly.

I thank YOU, dear subscribers! Because of your efforts to inspire others to sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners, we now have a readily growing international audience! 

A sincere thank you to my dear SPONSORS too! Oh, how grateful I am to our celebrated and stupendously esteemed sponsors who collaborated during challenging 2020. Your distinctive brands are truly noteworthy! Take a peek... ALL of my sponsors for 2020 are listed below, and discover a few secret discount codes. Click on the logos and shop away! A gift to you!