How to double your candlelight: A secret ingredient for a magical evening!

A gloriously handsome Georgian Irish oval mirror, c.1790, from Fileman Antiques in England. While over two hundred years old, its classical design transcends time and hints at a modern aesthetic. Does it hold two or four candles?

“There are two ways of spreading light, to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” 

  ~ Edith Wharton

Candlelight can turn a mundane event into a celebration! A candlelit dinner somehow magically becomes... more memorable. Candles have been integral to celebrations for centuries, from churches to dinner parties and atop birthday cakes. Candles create significant moments. 

Mummy always said, “Everything tastes better in candlelight.” And I think everyone “looks” better in candlelight! 

What is a simple way to “double” your candlelight? 

Place candles in front of a mirror! This technique has been used for centuries. The double reflection of candlelight in a mirror is alluringly majestic.

While filming my television series at Blenheim Palace, England, in the private dining room, a pair of dramatic candelabras doubled the reflected candlelight between resplendent mirrors. Simply magical! 

One of a pair of Georgian gilt girandoles in the dining room at Fox Hall reflects the chandelier lights in the mirror. Another reason for mirrors is that they reflect all types of light! 

Why are white and ivory candles the most traditional choice of color?

Let’s take a little peek at candle history! Candles were initially made of tallow (cow, sheep, animal fat, or oils).  Beeswax was introduced to the Europeans in the Middle Ages as an alternative to tallow. Natural beeswax is the color of honey and was originally sun-bleached for a lighter white, thus making them more expensive. Due to their expense, white and ivory candles were considered a step above any other candle and historically were used in noble residences, palaces, and churches. They are often seen as a symbol of purity and elegance for an inviting atmosphere. A white candle continues to be a timeless, traditional choice, especially for formal events.! 

GrandMillenial Tip:

Beware of air-conditioning and/or window breezes... I found out the hard way! The newly installed A/C vent in our Palm Beach ceiling blew downward and onto the dining room table, which caused the candle wax to drip endlessly.  And with the windows open at Fox Hall, a summer breeze made the candlelight from the wall sconces drip onto two Hepplewhite silk upholstered chair seats… causing it to be a “rawwwther” expensive dinner party! 

How do you get candle wax off a table?

I use a rubber spatula to scrape off the larger bits and a soft cloth with dish soap and hot water to melt and remove the remaining wax smears.  The use of a hairdryer will also melt the wax. 
How do you remove wax drips from a tablecloth? 

Freeze the tablecloth first, and then scrape it off. Or, place a brown paper bag or towel over the remaining wax and iron it on a low setting. The wax will melt and transfer to the paper. Repeat this process until all of the wax is gone, and then wash it, but I prefer to send it off to be professionally cleaned

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-no: To have the white wick visible on a candle. 

What is done: A wick must always be blackened, even if the candle is never used. Candles are meant to be used, so blacken the wick on all candles to indicate you know this little, old-school secret.  

Xx 

Holly

PS: I received excellent advice and wonderfully enlightening responses from many of you about “Sympathy Notes,” worthy of your attention.  See my Hello Holly Addendum below, after reading about my amazing sponsors!

Sincere Sympathy Notes

Do you know someone who has recently lost a loved one? A darling subscriber asked me to discuss the nuances of writing a proper sympathy note, so here are my thoughts:

What is the most sincere type of sympathy note?

A handwritten note, not a “store-bought” sympathy card, is the most sincere way to offer your condolences. There is no need to buy a sympathy card, EVER. Your words are a “thousand times more meaningful” than what is printed on a store-bought sympathy card!

What kind of stationery is most appropriate?

White stationery, preferably a fold-over informal card (pictured above) or a flat card. Old-school formality is to have your name engraved.  Another option is to have your name embossed or with thermography.  Both are less expensive than engraving. 

Other than a note card, what is another option?

Another suitable option is plain white or ecru (off-white) writing paper, preferably in a heavy stock. My favorite stationery companies are Dempsey & Carroll, Tiffany & Co., or Crane and Co.

What color ink is appropriate to write a sympathy note?

Black ink is a proper and traditional choice for a sympathy note, preferably with a fountain pen.

What should I write? 

What words would you like to hear if you lost a loved one? Take a moment to think about the person who has died, and then write your loving words of sympathy. Mention the deceased person's name and your relationship with them.   A grieving person will appreciate your genuine words of sympathy. Commisserate that it is a difficult time and offer a sweet memory that you have that may comfort the recipient.  It is also kind to suggest: “I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. I hope that some of the happy memories you hold dear will comfort you during this sorrowful  time.” And mention that you are available to help in any way. 

How do I sign my note?

Thoughtful valedictions are: “With deepest sympathy” or “With love and sympathy.” 

What does a line through a name on the stationery indicate?

A line through your name is an old-school “secret” tradition. If your formal name on your writing paper includes a title, such as Mrs., Mr., Lady, Countess, or Doctor, you may draw a line through your name when writing a dear friend. The line through your name discreetly indicates that you are addressing them personally, as a friend, and without formality. This is appropriate for any occasion, including a gift card note. NOTE: If your name does not have a title in front of it, do not draw a line through your name. (It is already informal without a title.)  The same applies to monograms: no title, no line!

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-No: To mention anything negative about the deceased person in your note. Only mention lovely memories!

Xx 

Holly

PS: Please take a peek at my darling sponsors and their fabulous discount codes!

"When to stand-up!" Savoir-faire

As a student attending St. Catherine's Episcopal girl's school, I vividly remember when a teacher entered the classroom, we were required to stand up immediately. And, the consequence if we didn’t? A demerit was issued for either study hall or to stay after school. Oh, we indeed stood up! Here I am attending our… shhh, 50th reunion! 

After a long “non-social-interaction” hiatus during COVID, I think the “when to stand up” topic is worth revisiting! A darling subscriber reminded me about this simple courtesy, which sadly seems to be disappearing these days. 

“I would love to see you discuss how a young person should stand up when an adult enters the room. My children were always embarrassed and said, ‘Mom, none of my friends stand up.’ I replied, 'It is the polite thing to do!' It seems that even with our grandchildren, it is not done much anymore.” 

I agree wholeheartedly and am an enthusiastic advocate of this polite gesture. So, let’s discuss a few more standing-up scenarios: 

Who stands for whom when a person enters a room?

~Ladies and children stand when an older person enters a room. 

~Gentlemen stand when a lady enters a room.  

~A gentleman also stands for another gentleman when greeting him.

Standing up is a distinguished gesture and was ingrained in me by my parents. And yes, to this day, I continue to stand up for a man or woman who is older than I am! This simple, polite courtesy never goes out of style. 

Also, who stands up if a visitor comes to say hello at your dinner table at a restaurant or club? 

A gentleman should always stand for a man or woman who stops by a table to say hello. 

Should ladies stand when a lady or gentleman visits your table?

It is not required for a lady to stand if seated at the table. But, as a thoughtful gesture, I always stand for someone older than me and also for a friend who is dear to me.  

When visitors come to your table and an introduction is being made, does a seated lady stand to shake hands?

I think it is appropriate to always stand to shake someone’s hand (man or woman) when being introduced. It is not required for a lady to stand up when being introduced, but I cannot comfortably remain seated if I am meeting someone. I think it is more appropriate to stand and shake someone’s hand. What are your thoughts?!

GrandMillennial Tips:

At a restaurant or club, if you stop to say hello to someone at their table, politely acknowledge the gentlemen who stand up with a “Please sit down!” (Most gentlemen will still not sit down until the lady visitor has left.) 

And with that in mind, if you are the visitor coming to someone’s table, don't be an overstayer! Say hello, introduce yourself, and then… skedaddle! No one wants their food to get cold while you chat away (unless you're “genuinely” invited to sit down and join them). 

Have children and grandchildren? Maybe practice rewarding those who hop up for guests that visit either your home or at a restaurant dinner table with candy or a hot fudge sundae!

Xx Holly

PS: Please be a dear and inspire one friend to subscribe. I received some splendid remarks from my last newsletter- they are found in the addendum below my darling sponsors! Take a peek!

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How to properly butter your bread!

How to properly butter your bread! 

When my darling grandchildren from Germany visited this summer, I noticed they buttered their entire piece of bread or biscuit at the dinner table, versus the American etiquette of buttering only one bite-sized piece at a time.  (They have polished table manners thanks to their parents, who insist on a sit-down dinner together every night… practice, practice!) Etiquette varies in different countries, which inspired me to write about bread and butter protocol in America. 

Millennials, if you are invited to a business dinner…let’s brush up on your “bread and butter” skills.  (Pssst… this little secret speaks volumes about your table manners.) Take it or leave it, but at least you will be aware of this simple polished gesture!

When bread is served to you, take the piece of bread and place it onto your butter plate, which is to the left of your dinner plate, and let it rest for a moment. Then, break or tear one piece at a time with your fingers. Never cut your bread with a knife. Take the piece that you have broken off and butter it.  And then, eat one “buttered piece” at a time!   

Where should the butter knife be placed on an individual butter plate?  

The butter knife is placed on the butter plate at the 10 and 2 o'clock position, with the blade pointed towards the diner. In England, it is placed at the 12 and 6 o’clock position, with the blade facing to the left, away from the dinner plate. 

Any more ideas for individual butter plates? 

Butter plates can be an amusing adornment on your table! For example, a glass "leaf-shaped" plate for the fall and in the spring, add an edible flower on top of the butter. For Christmas, two “holly” leaves decorate my butter plates (without the poisonous red berries!).  In the  summer, I add a few tiny mint or basil  leaves from the garden. 

Uniquely shaped butter molds will enhance your butter plates too. 

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-No: To hold your butter knife high above the butter plate while breaking or buttering the bread.

What is done: Keep all flatware as close to any plate as possible. Flatware should not be flying above the place setting, ever. Discreetly break your bread, hold it just barely above the plate, and butter it. Return the butter knife to the plate in the same position that it was placed when you sat down at the table.

Butter makes everything taste better, right? Thank you, Julia Child!

Xx 

Holly

Crazy Crab! An EASY, Impromptu First Course!

Crazy Crab! An EASY, Impromptu First Course! 

We returned from a trip to Fox Hall and invited two couples over for an impromptu dinner.  When I have only six to sit at our dining room table, I purposely place everyone in the center so it is more intimate for conversation. Now, the big question: what can I whip up quickly to serve for the first course? 

Prepare to dazzle your guests with my easy and oh-so-delectable first course, which will be whipped up in a snap! 

Picture this: a bed of fresh, tender bib lettuce leaves on a pretty salad plate. Then, add the star of the show, a generous layer of succulent lump crab meat.  Crown the lump crabmeat with a pale-pink drizzle of velvety-smooth Remoulade sauce, creating a tangy, creamy, spicy and delightful dance.

Your guests are in for a treat with this symphony of flavors. This culinary masterpiece can be created effortlessly, making it the perfect go-to dish for any spontaneous gathering!

To serve six:

-1 or 2 heads of Boston Bib lettuce (depends on the size of the head)

-16 oz container of fresh, refrigerated lump crabmeat, drained

-Lemon 

-Bottle of Remoulade sauce, which can be purchased pre-made (usually found in the seafood department) or homemade.

Place the Bibb lettuce leaves on the plate, toss the crab with some freshly squeezed lemon, and place the crab on top of the lettuce leaves. Then, drizzle with the Remoulade. 

NOTE: This can be done an hour or two before the arrival of your guests.  Place the individual plates, preassembled, in the refrigerator and served chilled for the first course. 

I like to serve my hot popovers with this course too. Voila- a yummy, albeit EASY way to commence your impromptu dinner party.  Cheers!

Xx

Holly

Monograms never go out of style!

Monograms never go out of style!

Through 48 years of marriage, our beloved collection of silver frames, like our family,  continues to grow!

What is a monogram?

Monograms are usually three intertwined initials to create one symbol, with the surname initial centered and the largest of the three initials.  A monogram can also be your name initials in a straight row, all the same size, and preferably with a period between the initials. 

I adore monograms! They contribute to that darling “timeless and tailored” design aspect of gracious living and are a true Southern tradition that I embrace! Whatever you decide to monogram, it will become unique to you because… it has your name on it. 

A monogram for a married couple:

The bride's first name initial comes first on the left, the surname of the couple is more prominent and featured in the center, and the groom's first name initial is on the right.  (An easy way to remember which initial comes first:  “Ladies go first!”) This joint monogram is used mainly on items the couple will use together, such as silver picture frames and embroidered linens in their bedroom and bathroom.

The monogram on our bedroom linens represents Holly and Stuart.  See more examples here.

When embroidering dinner napkins and placemats, as well as writing paper, the lady of the house uses her own initials, whether she is single or married, because she is the hostess/chatelaine of the house. For her monogram, she may use either her maiden name or middle name initial to the right of her surname. 

Mummy used her first, maiden, and married surname in a row to embroider these linens.  More examples are here.

A monogram for a single woman or single man:

Their first name is on the left, their last name is larger and in the center, and their middle name is on the right.

If a name has more than three initials (my father had five initials), they are written in a straight line instead of having the last name centered. 

What if a surname has more than one initial?  

Then, it is best to have your name written out in a straight line, each initial the same size,  just the way you write your name. If your last name has a hyphen or two parts (McFadden), then you may choose to add the additional initials to the row of initials.

My font preferences:

The various fonts and styles available are endless, making any gift with a monogram thoughtfully unique. A “script” font is delicate and lovely for women, girls, and little babies. A “block” or “Roman” font is handsome for men and boys. 

A lovely gift for a bride or someone that has everything: 

A silver picture frame is a clever gift that will last forever and one that will hold precious memories. When a frame is engraved, the piece will permanently mark an important celebration.  I adore picture frames so much that I dedicated an entire chapter to them in my first book, The Pretty & Proper Living Room! This chapter also gives numerous examples of how and where to properly engrave names, initials, dates, and family crests, and is applicable to almost anything.

What have you monogrammed that you cherish the most? 

Xx

Holly

The magic of mirrors!

Double the delight and visual pleasure of any room with a mirrored wall!  In my book, Pearls of Palm Beach, the “Irish House” chapter opens with this stunning view of the regally designed front hall.  The mirrored wall heightens the experience for guests to admire the elegant painting of The State Ballroom, Dublin Castle, c. 1845 by F. J. Davis. It sets the scene for one of the largest privately-owned collections of Irish Art. 

Mirrors can be used for a myriad of creative applications!  They add sparkle to any space, and historically were used to double the reflection of candlelight before electricity.  

Here are a few “mirror” design ideas to enhance your interiors.

Think about mirroring your ceiling in the dining room, adding a touch of unexpected glamour. Guests will love the reflection of the chandelier lights, along with candlelight on the dining room table.  

In my Palm Beach book, the “Irish House” features a mirrored ceiling. It amplifies the beauty of the rich cerulean-blue hallway, adding to its sophistication and intrigue.

Small spaces are expanded with mirrored walls. While renovating our c.1803 Fox Hall, I mirrored the wall behind the sink, floor to ceiling, in our tiny bathroom. Even though it appears that we have “two loos,” the mirrored walls offer a marvelous illusion of space, and it also serves as a dressing mirror for me! 

When in France, you may discover and be enchanted by how artwork is hung on top of a mirror. This technique gives depth to both the art and the mirror.

The L’Espadon dining room at the Ritz Hotel in Paris features three splendidly mirrored areas, each with artwork.  The curtains add to the drama; it appears the artwork is floating in the window. 

Another unique idea is to hang a decorative mirror atop a mirrored wall for a “double the reflection” illusion of depth and interest.  HERE is a little video for you to see both mirrors in this room. 

An antique Venetian mirror is hung on top of the mirrored wall in our bathroom in Petite Fox, Palm Beach.  There are actually two Venetian mirrors in our bathroom! 

Add a mirrored backsplash behind your bar shelves to create additional sparkle to your crystal glasses. 

Install trellis-woodwork over a mirrored wall as shown in our dining room in Petite Fox, Palm Beach, for a wonderfully unique decorative element.

Instead of using glass panes in a door, specify mirrored panes for a magical and glamorous aesthetic, especially on a wardrobe closet door.  I used this technique in my dressing room at Fox Hall in Farmington, CT and adore the finished look. 

One of the salons at the Ritz Hotel in Paris features elegantly appointed mirrored doors. 

Xx

Holly

PS Take a peek at our splendid sponsors below. 

How to avoid "hat-hair!"

At our daughter Alexandra’s wedding to Maximillian in the Berlin Dom, the largest Protestant Church in Germany, dating back to 1451. My hat was created by the oldest milliner shop in Hamburg, Germany, to compliment the silk suit I designed. The wedding day was glorious, and pink reigned supreme! At our daughter Alexandra’s wedding to Maximillian in the Berlin Dom, the largest Protestant Church in Germany, dating back to 1451. My hat was created by the oldest milliner shop in Hamburg, Germany, to compliment the silk suit I designed. The wedding day was glorious, and pink reigned supreme! 

Pretty hats have adorned ladies' heads for centuries. Give me an occasion, like a European wedding, horse race, or Easter Sunday, and out comes my collection of pretty hats. I adore wearing them! Do you?

Our youngest daughter, Caroline, had this hat created in NYC to compliment her dress. 

I realize now, more than before, how imperative it is to wear my “casual straw hats” when I am outdoors and in the sun. 

When wearing any type of hat, the inevitable happens. Hats can give you flat, unattractive “hat-hair” or “hat head.” This phenomenon is either created by the hat's weight or the heat under the hat's crown.  Essentially, the hair on the top of one’s head is squished down and not as puffy as before you put your hat on!

Here is my simple secret (which I created out of my hat-hair desperation).  It continues to work well for me, and my wish is that it works for you, too, to avoid “hat hair:”

You will need one small hair “claw” clip!

Try to use the smallest “claw” clip to fit unnoticeably under your hat's crown.

Pull the front part of your hair up into a “puff” and clip it. The puff stays pouffy under the crown of your hat until you reach your destination. Once there, remove your hat and take off your claw clip. Voila! The hair on your head will look like it did before you put your hat on. Easy-peasy. Instant “hat-hair” gone, and “happy hair” once again! 

Note: Take a peek at my Instagram video HERE to see how I implement this technique!   

Also, if you do not have a claw clip, just pull your hair up and puff it inside the crown of the hat the best you can. This method works in a pinch!

Xx

Holly

PS Take a peek at our splendid sponsors below. Some have special discounts for you!

Guardians of Charm: The Magic Foo Dogs!

The world's most effortless floral arrangement is made possible for my impromptu parties with a pair of incense-holding foo dogs. Just a simple chrysanthemum is placed into each one instead of incense, and the flower appears like a Chinese parasol overhead!

Foo dogs, also known as Chinese guardian lions or iconic mythical creatures, hold great cultural significance in Chinese art. These mythical beings, usually found in pairs, stand guard at important places like palaces and temples. Considered the "bouncers of the spirit world," they protect sacred spaces from negative energies and unwanted guests. Having foo dogs in your home is like having the most adorable security team, and they'll steal everyone's heart with their fierce-yet-adorable charm.

My first pair of foo dogs became mine when I was a child in Taipei, Taiwan. I pleaded with my parents for a dog, and they surprised me... with foo dogs! They have been with me ever since, and I hold them dear to my heart. Their unique blend of lion and dragon features gives them a "fierce and fabulous" charm while also bringing good luck, prosperity, and good fortune. Over the years, I have continued to collect foo dogs in different sizes, colors, and shapes to grace various places in Fox Hall.

Presently, my childhood pet foo dogs are perched atop the American highboy, playfully snarling at guests as they enter the front door at Fox Hall. To make them less intimidating, I occasionally place a pink flower blossom into their ferocious mouths or a sprig of holly at Christmas. Even though no one seems to notice them, they continue to bring joy to me every time I see them.

Foo dogs feature captivating designs; their regal appearance and striking features make them attractive art pieces that add elegance and charm to any space. No “foo...ling” around, a pair of foo dogs, with their unique blend of traditional and modern aesthetics, makes them versatile decorative accessories. They blend seamlessly into any interior. And, more importantly, they add just the right snarl of whimsy! I hope a pair hops into your house, too.  

Xx

Holly

PS Take a peek at our splendid sponsors below. Some have special discounts for you!

Porcelain wallpaper!

The Butler's Pantry at Fox Hall is adorned with various blue and white plates.  Mummy purchased the sizeable round platter over the door when I lived in Taipei as a child… it weighs a ton! 

If you, too, are an avid collector of various porcelain plate patterns, you may agree that one can always have more porcelain designs, from plates and platters to service pieces! It is one reason I created the “Equestrian Collection.”  With a penchant for horses, I wanted a pattern to use daily for breakfast so that I could happily “gallop into the day!”   

A Butler’s Pantry is a clever and efficient place to store various porcelain collections. The week before Lady Carnarvon arrived from Highclere Castle (aka Downton Abbey) to attend a luncheon at Fox Hall, the pipes broke in the laundry room above my Butler’s Pantry. Water gushed through the ceiling, ruining the cabinetry, floor, and beyond… not the best timing for a disaster to happen!

New cabinetry was installed. My vision for a replacement wallpaper was a “blue and white Canton porcelain plate design.” Several wallpaper samples arrived but were not quite right for our c.1803 historic house. So, I temporarily had the walls painted a Canton blue until I found an appropriate paper. A few days later, I discovered some old boxes filled with long-forgotten stacks of blue and white plates in a storage room… an ahh-ha moment!  I hung these unused plates all over the Butler’s Pantry walls as a faux wallpaper design! Voila, an actual “porcelain wallpaper,” was created and is SO easy for you to do as well.

Hanging porcelain on the wall offers a charming dimension and sheen. Pictured is the original "Butler's call-box.” Call buttons are in every room at Fox Hall, and arrows dance back and forth when pressed. Our children loved pressing the call buttons in their bedrooms, hoping the butler would appear. Me too!

GrandMillennial Tips:

~If you inherit an abundance of plates, platters, cups, and saucers, or buy them at an estate sale or an auction, think “porcelain wallpaper” for any room in your house, i.e., Powder Room, Laundry Room, Hallway, Kitchen, or Mud Room. Repurposing pieces you already own is always rewarding.

~Start collecting an assortment of patterns and pieces so that you can use them for different occasions.  Mix and match them to create uniquely bespoke table settings.

Hanging plates on cabinet doors adds old-school charm. My collection of Meissen cobalt blue plates and Mummy's Imari plates, previously tucked inside a cabinet, now give me great pleasure from their new “visible” location. Over the window are antique tiles that my daughter, Alexandra, purchased in England. You can mix and match patterns, shapes, and sizes as long as the color theme is consistent. 

~Plate hangers are available at hardware stores or Amazon.   

~I use a dab of poster board putty to secure my hanging porcelain, which keeps them in place. 

Extraordinary French decorative arts and porcelains are displayed in many well-appointed rooms at Hillwood Estate. 

Treat yourself to a visit to the Hillwood Estate, Marjorie Merriweather Post’s home, heiress to the Post cereal fortune, in Washington D.C.  Mrs. Post was an avid collector and one of Washington’s most exalted and admired hostesses of her time. Her Butler’s Pantry, filled with various porcelains, is beyond dreamy. Put this venue on your “must-visit” list. 

Here is the perfect gift for someone who has everything or a bride-to-be! Please share this link with friends, especially those who love horses! I am thrilled it is represented here in the Palm Beach Modern Luxury magazine. 

Xx

Holly

PS Please meet my darling sponsors below. Many have offered special discounts to you, my dear subscribers. 

Baby Shower Protocol!

What a joy it was to attend this stunning “Sip and See” celebration for the most adorable baby girl, my granddaughter!  It was held in a gloriously beautiful historic townhouse in Boston overlooking the Charles River. 

Your darling questions inspire me.  Here is one about baby showers!

“Mrs. Holden, my friends and I are in our late 20s/ early 30s and are entering the season of babies, which is lovely, but we can’t seem to find any “guidance” on baby showers and registries.  We are sooo excited to read your replies to our questions and are truly so grateful! Xoxo Mary Claire”

Here are her questions:

 Who should host the shower? 

Any member of the immediate family (especially the mother) should NOT host a baby shower before the baby is born.  This old-school secret code is still relevant today because it appears audacious, as if the expectant mother just wants presents, which is self-serving by having her immediate family host the party for her. But, if a friend (or a distant relative) hosts the shower, their only interest is to provide the bride or expectant mother with an opportunity to share this wonderful event with family and friends!  

Note: There is a way around this traditional rule of thumb! If no friends have offered to host the shower for reasons such as the expense or even the venue size required, and a family member wants to host the shower, they may ask a dear friend to act as the hostess in their stead and then, the immediate family member offers to pay for the expenses of the shower privately to the friend.

What is the difference between a baby shower and a “Sip & See” party?

 A “Sip & See” party occurs after the baby is born. So, then a mother or immediate family member may indeed host this event!  Gifts are not expected for this type of event, but if guests choose to bring a gift, that is their prerogative. But, who can resist not bringing a gift to a newborn?!  A silver frame with the name and date of the baby’s birth or a bespoke baby pillow or blanket embroidered with the baby’s name and birth date are all well-thought-out gifts.  

How far into pregnancy should you have the shower? 

A baby shower can take place anytime before the baby is born. It is really up to the expectant Mum as to what she is comfortable with, and this needs to be discussed with the hostess who is planning the shower.

Should we have registries for a shower? 

It is inappropriate to have any reference or mention of a gift registry on any invitation.  Here is what is done: The new Mum can register at a few places or simply make a small list of items that would be helpful and then share this information with the hostess. If guests wish, they can contact the event hostess and ask if there is a gift registry or anything in particular that the new Mum needs.

What is too weird or inappropriate to register for?

I do not condone anything too “personal,” i.e., anything to do with Mum’s body, like a breast pump or pads, etc.  Anything too mundane should be avoided on a registry, such as diapers, wipes, etc. 

What is polite to register for? And what are thoughtful shower gifts to give?

Baby clothes, blankets, sheets, toys, swings, a carrying apparatus, furniture, decorative accessories for the baby’s room, sound monitors, bath time appurtenances, changing tables, strollers, and car seats are all helpful items for a new Mum to receive. One gift I will always remember fondly, which was given to our firstborn daughter, was a handpainted bookcase. All of the guests brought their favorite children's/baby books, inscribed, to fill the shelves.   

Is a shower for a second child appropriate? 

If someone wishes to host a shower for a second child, heaven bless them!  If the mother knows the gender of the baby is different from the first, then it is especially helpful to have a shower in their honor.  For the third child (and on and on), I think a “Sip & See” party is more appropriate than a baby shower because a gift is not expected.

The invitation I sent out for a “Sip and See” party at Fox Hall after the birth of our first grandson.

GrandMillennial Tips:

~As the guest of honor, choose a meaningful thank-you gift to give your hostess when you arrive, and be sure to arrive before the guests enter!

It is thoughtful to stand at the door with the hostess and introduce your friends and family to her as they enter.  

~It is considerate to hold off opening the baby gifts until the dessert is served, or not at all. I attended a shower with over fifty ladies, and the gift-opening portion took over two hours!  While it is lovely to see what gifts have been given, along with the joy on the recipient’s face, I think it is rather cheeky to take up too much of your guests’ time when it is a large gathering. 

~A gracious gesture for the guest of honor (the expectant Mum) is to make a point of standing up once everyone has gathered to thank the hostess, as well as the guests attending. She can make a point of sharing how excited she is to have them be a part of her new child’s life.  Also, the hostess may announce that everyone is welcome to stay while the gifts are opened but will understand if they need to leave. 

Finally, it is paramount to write a heartfelt thank-you note to your hostess and pop it in the mail the VERY NEXT day! Write a thank-you note to each guest for their gift as soon as you can… because once your darling baby is born, you will be a VERY busy Mum! 

Xx

Holly

PS Take a peek at my stunning sponsors below!  Also, it is wedding time! Consider giving my Equestrian Collection porcelain to a bride. My “Summer Sale” is going on now!  It is the perfect gift as an alternative pattern for a young couple, especially if they live in horse country! 

How to decorate your mantel!

It is always a thrill for me to decorate the mantel at Fox Hall because, as I do, I wonder how others have decorated it for over 220 years.

Having a party?  Remember to embellish your mantel because the fireplace is the focal point for any room!

Recently, a darling millennial bride asked my advice on how to decorate her Living Room mantel for an upcoming cocktail party. Here are her questions: 

How do I decorate a mantel in a classical style?

Symmetry is key! Symmetry plays a key role in classical design. I like to start with a centerpiece. Choose something that is meaningful to you and also complements the room's theme.  Then, work out in pairs by flanking the centerpiece on either side. Continue to work out in pairs, at varying heights, to add interest. The length of your mantel will determine how many items can be displayed. 

What are the two key elements that adorn the Living Room mantel at Fox Hall?  

1. A pair of vases for flowers. 

Flowers are like earrings to a dress on a mantelpiece!  They will add a quiet sense of occasion for your guests. Cut flowers, either from the garden, a farmstand, or a store, simply arranged, will gracefully enhance your mantel while adding just the right touch of color.  During the Christmas holidays, evergreen roping, sprigs of holly, and pink poinsettias always hop onto our mantel, too!

1. A pair of candlesticks.

In the evening, candlelight on the mantel always adds a touch of magic. The flickering candle flames are the “fairy dust” that sets the scene for your guests.

What kind of candlesticks should I use? 

This depends on the room's formality or informality. I like to choose from either silver, brass, pewter, porcelain, or crystal for candlesticks. Traditionally, one would only use classic white wax candles. The wicks are always “blackened” on candles that are displayed inside the house. The unwritten “old-school rule” is that candles are meant to be used and are not just for decoration! 

NOTE:  Be careful not to have the candle flame too close to the artwork on the wall over the mantel, as the heat or fire could be rawwwther damaging!

What should I hang on the wall over my mantel? 

Conventionally, either a mirror or a painting is hung over the mantel. The decorative elements displayed on the mantel, specifically in the center, will dictate how high or low you may hang your artwork… so keep that in mind before you hang your artwork! 

What is the difference between a mantelpiece and a chimneypiece?  

Both refer to the shelf over a fireplace and the decorative framework that surrounds the fireplace.  In Britain, a mantel is called a chimneypiece.

Our Hunt Room has an apple-wood fire going most of the time in the winter. It is the cozy place for our competitive family backgammon games!

Take a peek at a previous newsletter here on “How to Dress your Firebox” (the space where the fire is) when it is not in use, specifically during the summer months! 

So, how do you decorate your mantel?! Here is a video on how I decorate the mantel at Fox Hall.

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments, suggestions, and questions.  I have the best subscribers in the whole wide world!  I am incredibly grateful to you all for inspiring many lovely new people to sign up too. I am also honored by my stellar sponsors listed below… take a look! 

Xx 

Holly

Crest Rings: They tell a story!

My grandfather, Major John Johnston Kirkpatrick, attended the Royal Military Academy at Sandhurst in England and served the British military in Tientsin, China. He was an avid horseman and polo player. He is wearing the Kirkpatrick crest ring on his left hand. While there, he met my Austrian grandmother. Her father was a diplomat advising the Empress Dowager in The Forbidden City.

While visiting Foxcroft School for Girls in Middleburg, Virginia with my husband, I had a flashback to my wedding.  My bridesmaid, Lucy Brown, who had attended Foxcroft, asked me a week before my wedding if I had chosen a wedding band for Stuart.  “A wedding band?” I asked. “Do I need one?”  “Well,” she answered, “Does HIS father wear one?”  He did. That answered that!

My British father never wore a wedding band; he only wore a family crest ring on his left pinky.  The thought of a wedding band had never crossed my mind… call me naive!  I quickly visited a jewelry store in Richmond to purchase a wedding band. Thankfully, it fit!

What is a crest or signet ring? 

Both are the same: a gold ring engraved with a coat of arms. My father, brother, and my father’s British brother, all wore the same traditional, oval-faced ring with the Kirkpatrick coat of arms on their left pinky finger. It has been a family tradition and I, too, wear one because my beloved father died when I was sixteen and it reminds me of him. 

What is the history of this type of ring?

Various forms of signet rings have been worn since 3400 BC.  In medieval times, members of the nobility used them to “impress upon wax to create a seal” on letters and to mark essential documents.  In the 14th century, official documents were required to have the wax seal of the King’s ring. It was considered more official than a signature … or a notary public embossed seal today. 

Why is a crest ring also referred to as a “gentleman’s ring?” 

People of influence and noblemen have worn them for centuries and they have been used to establish lineage and social standing.  Crest rings are typically engraved with the family crest, not the entire coat of arms or armorial shield. European aristocratic families continue to wear their inherited rings.

The family ring has only the "crest," not the entire shield or "coat of arms."

Any additional signet ring lore? 

Prince Charles’ signet ring is worn on his left pinky finger, whilst Sir Winston Churchill wore one on his right hand. A subscriber, Alison, from Austin, Texas shared this with me:

“Edward VIII wanted to break tradition.  He wore his signet ring in “the continental way,” to be different. The British wear the ring's seal inward, whereas the Europeans wear it outwardly.  It was arriviste of the Prince to wear it in the continental style as no British gentleman would ever have done this!”  ~The Real Wallis Simpson by Anna Pasternack

A portion of the Kirkpatrick coat of arms, depicted on my family crest ring, is a hand with a dagger and three drops of blood.  The clan motto for the coat of arms is, “I mak sikkar,” meaning, “I make sure.”  During the Scottish Wars of Independence, Kirkpatrick drew his dagger to assist Robert the Bruce and said these words.  The main historic seat of Kirkpatrick is Closeburn Castle, in the late 1300s.

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To wear a “faux or imposter” crest ring that does not belong to your family lineage. 

 What is done: To design a crest ring with your monogram, or wear one with the seal of a society you belong to, a college, a club, or something of significance to you, thus making the ring an authentic representation of you.

I cherish the family history attached to my crest ring. When you meet someone wearing one, realize that it is a peek into their past; there is a secret story quietly hidden within the engraving. Inquire about it. Surely, a clever conversation will ensue!

Happy Fourth of July and God Bless America!

Xx 
Holly

PS Take a peek at my splendid sponsors! I hope you’ll inspire just ONE friend to subscribe today, and please help me spread the word about my “Equestrian Collection” porcelain. 

Summer House Guests!

Spot on, right?! This artwork, “Departure of a Weekend Guest,” is by the UK’s foremost  British cartoonist, Annie Tempest. 

Summertime is the perfect time to invite houseguests to stay with you!  A dear friend asked me a few questions about having houseguests for the 4th of July, and my responses turned into this letter!

How long should I invite a couple to stay? How many days and what time should they arrive AND depart? 

The best plan clearly specifies what you and your spouse agree upon beforeyou invite your guests.  

It is always so awkward, but how do I tell my guests when to leave?

When you invite your guests, it is considerate to share an appointed time for arrival and departure, so they will know what to expect. Obviously, this is stated diplomatically! When inviting houseguests to stay in a country house in England, it is politely assumed the weekend is over after lunch on the final day, unless the hosts specify differently. 

How shall I go about suggesting this? 

"If convenient, please arrive around noon on Saturday to join us for lunch on the patio.  We hope you can stay until around 2 pm on Sunday, until after we have lunch at the Yacht Club?” If you are uncomfortable suggesting a time for them to depart, remember that clarity makes it easier for all parties to know what to expect. Do not assume your guests will know. You can always expound: “We need to begin packing ourselves Sunday afternoon.” Or, “We have a commitment later on Sunday; I hope you don’t mind."

A few days in advance of their arrival, offer some suggestions of what activities are available to do and then ask them what they would like to do, and be flexible! They may have had an exhausting week of work and just want to sit by the pool. Rule of thumb: don’t overschedule! Guests like having the opportunity to sleep late, take a nap, shop, or go exploring on their own (and do not want to feel guilty for asking).

Once you and your guests agree on the plans, they will know what to expect and what clothes to pack. For example: where dinner will be held (coat & tie?), if they will be playing croquet, golf, or tennis, or simply spending the afternoon at the pool.

Point out goodies for them to have: cookies, candies, fruit, and drinks. Sometimes it is nice to ask if they would prefer breakfast on their own. If they say they are early risers, then suggest gathering together sometime before noon. (This gives you both free time!) Show them where the coffee/tea is and how the coffee maker works.

Show them where beach towels are, the key to the door if you lock it, the wifi code, and even how to work the tricky shower “on-off switch!” 

What if guests offer to bring something? 

If they ask, let them! I think it lets them feel as if they are contributing. Then, suggest something that would indeed be helpful.  Nibbles for cocktail hour, a fruit salad for breakfast, or a birthday cake, and they can choose. Or, they can offer something else to bring. 

What if the guest offers to help?

This depends on you as the hosts. But, if you are a guest, and there is not any staff to help serve, offer to do something: make a great Cosmopolitan, serve the nibbles at cocktail hour, offer to set or clear the table, make the coffee, or pour the wine.

Another clever cartoon by  Annie Tempest!  Note the little pillow on the pink chair: “Short visits make a long friendship!”

GUEST No-No’s:

Do not ask to bring a pet, a surprise guest, or a child unless the host knows in advance and approves. And, if you break something, let the host know. Try to replace it or find something similar and have it sent that week to the host.  

Want to be invited back? Remember to send a handwritten thank you note  (NOT an email) within 48 hours of leaving your host’s house. Better yet, bring your notecard with you, write it before you leave, and place it in your guestroom or some place obvious for the hosts to discover. One and done!

I have two previous letters with even more thoughtful details for your houseguests!

A Well-Appointed Guest Bathroom, The Essential List!
What Additional Niceties Should You Consider For Your House Guests?
 

Guests are gifts you give yourself, albeit houseguests are a “labor of love” gift! 

An addendum Q&A about last week's topic, "How to wear a pretty pin," is located after my fabulous sponsors!

Happy Summer!

Xx 
Holly

PS Take a peek at my splendid sponsors! I hope you’ll inspire just ONE friend to subscribe today, and please help me spread the word about my “Equestrian Collection” porcelain.

How to wear a pretty pin!

One day when I was heading out to meet a very important client in NYC, I came downstairs, twirled in front of my son, Stuart (then 18) and said, “So, how do I look?” I remember I had a pink silk suit on. He smiled and said, “Fine, but you’re missing something.” I glanced down and didn’t see anything missing. “What am I missing?” I inquired.  He nonchalantly responded, looking down as he was typing his homework, “A pin… you’re not dressed unless you have a pin on.”

What? I couldn’t believe my ears! He noticed that I wore pins? I mean he was a sport-o, the captain of his lacrosse team at Suffield Academy, and the last thing I ever would have guessed was that he was aware of this detail. Out of the mouth of babes, go figure!

Yes, I have been wearing pins since I received my first “big girl pin” from my generous in-laws for Christmas at the age of 25. It was a gold fox with a diamond on his paw… and he still hops onto my outfits. 

As a child, I always admired Mummy’s pins and my grandmother’s too. So, when I first put my fox pin on, like Cinderella's glass slipper, the pin slipped onto my dress and just felt right! That was the beginning of my penchant for pretty pins. 

Is there a protocol to wearing a pin? Traditionally, they are worn over one’s heart, on your LEFT side. Not too low, not too high. 

HRH Queen Elizabeth, II, wore a stunning array of pins. Look at some past photos to see how and where she placed them. And, a younger, international audience continues to wear pins as well. Pins are stylish… and not just for old ladies! 

Wearing pins as an attractive accessory, which has been done for centuries, subtly relays a “little insight” about you.  From horses, foxes, pink enamel flowers, bows, and bees, my pins are an extension of my interests and passions. 

Pins can add an amusing aspect to an outfit. Placing a bee pin to adorn the top of your shoulder, or a bow pin on a sash at the back of your dress is a clever way to wear a pin. Also, a pin can be a charming accessory on a hat. (Remember ladies, to adorn your hat on the right side!)

The term brooch and pin are one in the same. I hope to inspire you to take out a pin you haven’t worn in a long while and place it on your dress, a jacket lapel, or a party coat. Then, as my son noted, you won’t be “missing something!”

Xx 

Holly

PS Take a peek at my splendid sponsors! I hope you’ll inspire just ONE friend to subscribe today, and please help me spread the word about my “Equestrian Collection” porcelain. 

Amusing place card seating!

An impromptu luncheon for my “Forever Farmington Friends!” Can you spy any porcelain animals?

Giving considerable thought to your guests' seating arrangements for a dinner party can enhance their overall experience, and yours, especially when you place guests together that hit it off. Nothing like great combinations and jolly conversations! 

But, when seating a group that is not the typical “boy/girl” dinner party, or your close friends whom you know would like to sit together, or you are confronted with either a group of guests you don’t know well, or a group of just ladies, or just gentlemen, the art of diplomatic “seating” can be a bit of a challenge. 

Everyone wants to be to the right of the host or hostess as the guest of honor, right? And, it is doubtful that anyone really wants to be seated in the middle/center of a long table… which some view as purgatory! 

So, how do you seat everyone, and still make them feel equal in their “seating pecking order?”

Remember playing musical chairs? My amusing technique vaguely reminds me of that! Here is my secret method:

Prior to my guests arriving, I place one Herend animal on the table in front of everyone’s place, where a place card would normally be situated. Mind you, each animal is different! (I purposely place a fox at the guest of honor's place.)

Then, I write on a small piece of paper what each animal is, i.e., elephant on a ball, goose with a golden egg, bunny with an itch, etc. I then fold the little papers in half and place them in a small silver basket. (Note: I do not write one for the guest of honor.)

How cute are these origami swans? My granddaughter, Miss Charlotte, helped me set the table the night before the luncheon and made these swans (instead of my folded piece of pink paper) so I could write the name of each animal inside the swan! 

After my guests arrive, I take my guest of honor aside, privately, and ask them to kindly take the seat to my right, and that their “animal” is the fox… when offered to choose an origami swan, not to take one. They will understand why later. 

Just before lunch/dinner is served, I walk up to my guests who are enjoying libations in either the living room or front hall and ask each one to take a piece of pink paper (or swan!)  from the little silver basket and read it. This will reveal their “seating assignment animal.” I tell them, “You will now have to hunt to find your appointed animal on the table!"

Just before lunch is served, I offered the origami swans (which will indicate where each lady will be seated) in a little silver basket, to each guest.

This clever technique creates a jovial atmosphere upon entering the dining room as everyone is scouting for their animal! This technique works like a charm because THEY chose their own seat at the table… a diplomatic win-win! 

Grandmillennial tip:

If you don’t have Herend animals, you can use whatever you wish to designate the placement for seating. From different varieties of flower blossoms, various books, a collection of snuff bottles, and unique shells… get creative because the list is endless!

An adorable friend I have simply places her Beatrix Potter porcelain figurines around the table and asks everyone to figure out which one each guest thinks represents themselves. What a hoot it is to witness the negotiations amongst the guests: “‘I’m the little mouse with the broom.” “Oh no, you’re the sly fox!” “I have cute blue shoes on, so I must be the mouse in the shoe!” Such a clever way to commence a dinner party.

Xx 

Holly

PS Take a peek at my splendid sponsors! I hope you’ll inspire just ONE friend to subscribe today, and please help me spread the word about my “Equestrian Collection” porcelain. 

The “Hello Holly” addendum is after my sponsor list!

Holly's "Angel Cheese Crisps!"

My “Angel Crisps” are easy to make and so yummy that even my little blue mouse hops on the platter to be near these lacy cheese nibbles!

Impromptu parties?  That is my signature! 

Pulling a party together at a moment's notice came from years of experience.  My husband has a reputation for being the “host with the most,” especially with his business clients and colleagues in his industry. When customers were in town, he would often call from his office and ask if he could extend an invitation to his guests to come to our house for a drink before they went out to dinner. It was always good for business, so I learned early on to say, “YES, of course!”

With three little ones at home, I did not always have the luxury of going out to buy something pre-made or get ingredients.  I learned a repertoire of quick and easy hors d’oeuvres. 

Here, I want to share one of my easiest recipes! It requires only two ingredients. I can almost guarantee you’ll have both ingredients, so you’ll be ready to make these little, light-as-air “Angel Crisps,” instantaneously! 

Bear with me… I invented this recipe on the spot, so you may want to experiment and adjust your own version. Make a small batch before you have guests!  

2 Ingredients: Cheese and flour!  

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Line your baking sheet with either parchment paper or use a silicone mat. 

NOTE: If you do not have either, the cheese will be almost impossible to remove from the pan, so, don’t make them!

Grate your cheese. I use medium to large grating holes. 

You may use almost any cheese: parmesan, pepper jack, cheddar, gruyere, etc. The harder the cheese, the crispier it will be. 

NOTE:  A soft cheese like feta, American, or brie will NOT work. 

Cheese:

Grate as much cheese as you think you’ll need.  

Angel Crisps for six guests:

I used 1 ½ Cups of grated pepper jack cheese (loosely grated into a measuring cup). This made about 16 or more wafers. 

Flour: 

I used about ½ teaspoon or a scant teaspoon of flour.  You can experiment to find out what works best for you.  (I once experimented with Bisquick, and now use it instead of flour.)

Put the grated cheese in a bowl and sprinkle the flour over the cheese and stir together.  This will lightly cover the cheese with the flour.  

Optional:

You can stir in whatever spices or herbs you wish, or just leave it as is. Some options I have used: red pepper flakes, rosemary, paprika, and black pepper.

Place teaspoonfuls of the above cheese/flour (herb) mixture onto the parchment paper/silicone mat.  The cheese/flour mixture will be loose, coming together when baked.  Smaller mounds are better. Leave space between your cheese mounds on the pan because they spread out once baked. 

Bake at 350 for about 10-15 minutes. Cooking time depends on the size of the cheese mounds. Watch them like a hawk because you want them lightly browned, not burned!

Once baked to perfection, use a spatula and lift them up and place them onto a paper towel to absorb the additional grease from the cheese.  Once cooled, place on a pretty platter and serve! 

NOTE: Cover them tightly with saran wrap until your guests arrive.  They are better crispy, so heat them back up in an oven, if need be. These can be kept in the refrigerator, in an airtight container, for a few weeks.

Ultimately, the  “Angel Crisps” should be a little holy…oops, I mean “holey,” so they look like lace! Bet you can’t have just one. 

I contemplate compiling a book with my effortless hors d’oeuvre recipes. Tell me, would that be of interest to you?!

Xx,

Holly 

PS Know someone with horses, a ranch, or just loves anything polo, racing or showing? Please share my “Equestrian Collection” porcelain with them!

Amusing place card seating!

An impromptu luncheon for my “Forever Farmington Friends!” Can you spy any porcelain animals?

Giving considerable thought to your guests' seating arrangements for a dinner party can enhance their overall experience, and yours, especially when you place guests together that hit it off. Nothing like great combinations and jolly conversations! 

But, when seating a group that is not the typical “boy/girl” dinner party, or your close friends whom you know would like to sit together, or you are confronted with either a group of guests you don’t know well, or a group of just ladies, or just gentlemen, the art of diplomatic “seating” can be a bit of a challenge. 

Everyone wants to be to the right of the host or hostess as the guest of honor, right? And, it is doubtful that anyone really wants to be seated in the middle/center of a long table… which some view as purgatory! 

So, how do you seat everyone, and still make them feel equal in their “seating pecking order?”

Remember playing musical chairs? My amusing technique vaguely reminds me of that! Here is my secret method:

Prior to my guests arriving, I place one Herend animal on the table in front of everyone’s place, where a place card would normally be situated. Mind you, each animal is different! (I purposely place a fox at the guest of honor's place.)

Then, I write on a small piece of paper what each animal is, i.e., elephant on a ball, goose with a golden egg, bunny with an itch, etc. I then fold the little papers in half and place them in a small silver basket. (Note: I do not write one for the guest of honor.)

How cute are these origami swans? My granddaughter, Miss Charlotte, helped me set the table the night before the luncheon and made these swans (instead of my folded piece of pink paper) so I could write the name of each animal inside the swan! 

After my guests arrive, I take my guest of honor aside, privately, and ask them to kindly take the seat to my right, and that their “animal” is the fox… when offered to choose an origami swan, not to take one. They will understand why later. 

Just before lunch/dinner is served, I walk up to my guests who are enjoying libations in either the living room or front hall and ask each one to take a piece of pink paper (or swan!)  from the little silver basket and read it. This will reveal their “seating assignment animal.” I tell them, “You will now have to hunt to find your appointed animal on the table!"

Just before lunch is served, I offered the origami swans (which will indicate where each lady will be seated) in a little silver basket, to each guest.

This clever technique creates a jovial atmosphere upon entering the dining room as everyone is scouting for their animal! This technique works like a charm because THEY chose their own seat at the table… a diplomatic win-win! 

Grandmillennial tip:

If you don’t have Herend animals, you can use whatever you wish to designate the placement for seating. From different varieties of flower blossoms, various books, a collection of snuff bottles, and unique shells… get creative because the list is endless!

An adorable friend I have simply places her Beatrix Potter porcelain figurines around the table and asks everyone to figure out which one each guest thinks represents themselves. What a hoot it is to witness the negotiations amongst the guests: “‘I’m the little mouse with the broom.” “Oh no, you’re the sly fox!” “I have cute blue shoes on, so I must be the mouse in the shoe!” Such a clever way to commence a dinner party.

Memorial Day: Fly Your American Flag

It is truly an honor to fly our American flag, which hangs over the front door at Fox Hall most of the year, weather permitting.

Memorial Day: Fly Your American Flag

It is truly an honor to fly our American flag, which hangs over the front door at Fox Hall most of the year, weather permitting.

Memorial Day in America is a day we pay homage to our fallen comrades. Freedom is not free. Unlike Veterans Day, which is a celebration, Memorial Day is a day of thoughtful reflection over those who didn’t come home; the solemn cost of freedom.  

My father served in the U.S. Army.  He taught me how to respect our flag. Memorial Day is a day to honor and show respect to our men and women who died while serving in the United States Armed Forces. Flying our flag honors our great country and those who have served to protect it.

Flag etiquette when a flag is being hoisted up the flagpole:

~If a gentleman is wearing a hat, the hat is removed, held in his hand, over his heart.

~For spectators not in military uniform, face the flag, and place a hand over the heart.

~For military spectators in uniform, render the military salute. 

~Members of the armed forces and veterans who are present, but not in uniform, may give the military salute.

Flag presentation protocol:

~When the flag is hung vertically on a wall, window, or door, the Union (blue section) should be to the observer's left.

~When a flag is projecting out from a building on a pole, the Union (blue section), should be at the top of the pole.

It is appropriate to fly the flag at half-staff on Memorial Day, but only until noon:

This procedure is to show respect for the ultimate sacrifice our servicemen and women have made for our country, the land of the free. 

Why until noon? This custom dates back to approximately 1906 when an Army regulations book indicated the instructions for this tradition. Lowering it in the morning is meant to honor the dead, and then raising it to full staff at noon is to honor the living.

How to properly fly a flag at half-staff?

A flag should be hoisted to the top of the mast first, for a moment, and then lowered to half-staff.  Then, at night, when a half-staff flag is being retired, it is first hoisted back up to the top again, for a moment in its honor, and then lowered for the day.

The meaning of the colors on the American flag:

~Red: valor and bravery                                                                                           
~White: purity and innocence                                                                                     
~Blue: vigilance, perseverance, and justice

The flag’s 13 alternating red and white stripes represent the 13 original colonies. Its 50 white stars on a blue field represent the 50 states.

It is a patriotic sight to see American flags flying on poles along historic Main Street, Farmington.  Also referred to as “Charmington,” the village was founded in 1645. Main Street has been deemed a “scenic mile” by the State of CT and is a slice of our beloved “Americana” to behold.

Gathering family and friends together this weekend is a luxury we appreciate even more after Covid days. Enjoy every happy moment together! Attend a local parade. Observe all the flags around you. And, keep this in your heart: We live in freedom thanks to those who serve, and those who have died for our country with courage and integrity. 

To learn more about our American Flag, look here. 

With my humble and patriotic appreciation, thank you.

Xx,

Holly 

PS Know someone with horses, a ranch, or just loves anything polo, racing or showing? Please share my “Equestrian Collection” porcelain with them!

PSS The  “Hello Holly” addendum, in reference to the topic of Ultrasuede, is located below my wonderful sponsors! 

The ultimate upholstery fabric!

A sofa in our Palm Beach apartment, Petite Fox, is upholstered with a pastel peach colored fabric on the front side and a soft white colored fabric on the backside. When you enter the apartment, you just see the white backside, so that your eyes go immediately to the lovely view of the ocean, and not to the sofa! Can you guess what the fabric is?

Friends and clients frequently ask me: What is a durable, yet soft and pretty, upholstery fabric, that can withstand children, dogs, and food stains, yet will assuredly relay an elegant, timeless aesthetic?

Easy answer! Without a doubt, it’s Ultrasuede. It was first invented in 1970 as a synthetic ultra-microfiber, and now, some consider it passé. I think it is anything but… it is fabulous! I have specified it for a breakfast room banquet, club chairs in a library, living room chairs on yachts, an English Chesterfield sofa in a well-used telly room, and even for curtain panels for a living room in Bermuda.

I had our antique George III sofa reupholstered in two colors of Ultrasuede for our Palm Beach apartment. It’s divinely soft and allows a serious piece of “brown furniture” to have a whimsical and refreshed appearance. I don’t have to worry about grandchildren sitting on it with damp bathing suits or our Jack Russell hopping up on it with dirty paws; I can easily clean it off with a damp sponge and just a touch of laundry detergent. It is high-performance (400,000 double rubs!) and excellent for humid climates. 

Recently, we checked into Le Manoir aux Quat’Saisons in Oxfordshire, in the Cotswolds countryside, just an hour outside of London, and dined that evening at their Michelin 2-Star restaurant. When seated, I immediately admired the handsome dining room chairs covered in camel-colored Ultrasuede. Every detailed element at the magnificent hotel is sheer perfection… affirming my theory that Ultrasuede continues to be a classic choice!

GrandMillennial Tips: Ultrasuede Upholstery Ideas

For piping, use a contrasting yet complementary color to the overall upholstery color.

Note the white piping on the backside, yet the front side I have white piping to contrast with the peachy-pink. The top photo shows the contrast piping on the throw pillows. 

If there are decorative throw pillows for a sofa or chair, use a medley of colors for the pillows to enhance the overall color used on the piece, as well as the colors in the room.  Ultrasuede offers sumptuous choices of colors, from pastels to jewel tones. 

Think about designing a sofa or chair with full-width, horizontal stripes or vertical stripes, alternating two colors for the stripes. I did this for curtain panels, alternating pink and green, and it was darling! 

Using Ultrasuede in a light color, even white, to upholster a piece that will be well-used, is not so scary because it cleans up so easily. Additional cleaning tips can be found on the internet. Vacuuming and sweeping the Ultrasuede with an occasional soft brush will keep it looking happily inviting!

Xx,

Holly 

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