The noble art of needlepoint!

This needlepoint eyeglass case once belonged to Mummy, so I had it inset using a  pretty Scalamandrestriped silk fabric to frame it as a petite pillow, and it continues to be a sweet memory for me. Remember, a pillow does not have to consist entirely of the needlepoint canvas. You can cheat a little by adding more fabric around the canvas! 

Here is a lovely idea to commence 2024: create a needlepoint pillow! The art and implementation to create a needlepoint creates a sense of calm and a quiet time to savor. What you create will give joy and bring back distinct memories. 

Needlepoint pillows are a timeless staple in classic, preppy interiors as well as in noble residences, especially if made by a member of the household. They can add a touch of whimsy and give a glimpse into your interests. The design you choose can pique a conversation when others admire it.

I devoted an entire chapter to needlepoint pillows in my first book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room… I adore them!  But, true confession: once I start a piece, I cannot stop. I become a sleepless addict, staying up until I finish it. Heaven, help me! 

My talented sister-in-law made this adorable needlepoint belt for me. When I outgrew it, I had it cut in half, inserted into some bubblegum pink shantung silk, and made into two kidney pillows for the tellie room.

From my experience, a house that has a few handmade needlepoint pillows is a crystal ball that indicates a truly charming home. I know that I am in the presence of an enchanting needlepointer! Every needlepointer that I have ever known has been clever, intelligent, talented, well-traveled, and charming. Now, that is a big statement and has always held true for me. From Princess Grace to Barbara Bush, Marie Antoniette, my mother and sister-in-law, and precious friends, they are all part of the distinguished needlepoint society. 

Down the street from Fox Hall is the former home of Anna Roosevelt Cowles, the older sister to President Theodore Roosevelt. Her daughter-in-law was an avid and very accomplished needlepointer. A few of her creations still adorn the Cowles house, along with a breathtaking carpet that she stitched, featuring the design of the Chippendale front gate that graces the front of the historic home.  A carpet... talk about being a devotee to needlepoint! And the tradition carries on to this day, in the same house. 

Lovingly made, these three pillows each have a story behind them, which I find to be a simply enchanting aspect of handmade needlepoint pillows. 

I do hope you will be inspired to take up needlepoint if you haven’t already. Or, if you are not inclined to learn this time-honored pastime, you can embellish your house with the needlepoint pillows offered at Scully and Scully, which are perfectly charming.

GrandMillennial Tip:

Have a zipper enclosure inserted along the bottom edge of your pillow so that you can easily remove the cover and have it dry-cleaned. 

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To have pillow inserts made of foam rubber. Traditionally, pillows are always filled with down feather inserts.

No-no: To have so many pillows on a chair or sofa that a guest cannot be comfortably seated!

Xx 

Holly

Thoughtful holiday gestures!

The little white box, given to me as a hostess gift from a dear friend, held hand-rolled toffee candies that were made from her cherished family recipe from England.

Being with family and friends is always a merry occasion, especially during the holidays.  Here are a few thoughtful tips Mummy shared with me… and I am passing them along to you!

As a host:  

Make the extra effort to welcome your guests at the door and greet them with JOY! 

As a guest: 

Bring a little gift, preferably something homemade (always the best gift)! Whether it is your unique recipe for spiced nuts, a yummy pecan pie that can be frozen for future use, a box of your signature cookies, a coffee cake, or a breakfast casserole for the following day, a homemade gift will relay the love in your heart to your hosts.

Write a little note to accompany your gift, and compose a sentence or two on why you are grateful for your friendship.

A longtime friend made this fruit topiary for me at a workshop, hosted by the Colonial Dames of Connecticut and was led by my friend, Ruth Loiseau, the White House floral designer. It is visually lovely, and my grandchildren will delight in plucking the fruit off at our Christmas morning breakfast- double joy!

GrandMillennial Tips:

If you are contributing to a party, place a little piece of masking tape on the bottom and write your name on it. It will be easy for the hostess to distinguish your pan or serving piece from similar ones.

In the South, it is an unwritten rule of graciousness that if you return a pan or serving piece to someone who brought food on it to your house, you never return it empty. It doesn’t have to be much; it is the thought that counts!  Include a little goodie (cookies, nuts, or some flowers) along with their empty serving piece.  For example, when a hostess friend returned the tray that I used to serve my cheese blintzes on at her party, she returned it with a jar of her homemade wild Cape Cod grape jam… oh, goodie! 

If you gift a Christmas ornament, use a gold or silver marker to write the date on it and personalize it, if space allows! Use the same marker on a bottle of wine or champagne to write the date and sign it with your best wishes. These personalized gestures will remind the recipient about the occasion, bringing them even more joy in the years to come.

Wishing you and your darling loved ones joy, happiness, and peace on earth during this advent season.

Xx 

Holly

Embracing Elegance: The timeless art of graceful deportment!

My favorite painting, “Dancers in Pink” by Edward Degas, is one of many treasured artworks featured in the living room at the Hill-Stead Museum in Farmington, Connecticut. A pretty flutter of pink… with perfected ballet posture! 

In a world where technology consumes our attention, good posture and graceful deportment can often be overlooked!

While attending an afternoon tea in NYC, a lovely young lady approached me to chat. I admired her posture and the way she held her head high; she was incredibly graceful. After a while, I inquired if she had been a dancer. It was no surprise to learn that she had performed ballet internationally. Her balletic walk and stance were poised, effortless, and not exaggerated. She appeared confident and elegant. Her refinement inspired me to stand even taller… good posture can be contagious!

The art of smiling and standing tall is a form of communicating. It is a respectful acknowledgment of another person’s presence. The genteel art of deportment relays grace and poise and is a quiet sign of refinement. Remember when your Mum reminded you to “Stand up straight and pull your shoulders back!?” Standing tall is equivalent to a firm handshake and a “How do you do?” It exudes confidence and polish.

To me, elegant deportment and good carriage are commensurate with wearing a beautiful outfit, conveying tenacity and a self-assured spirit. Start the new year by making a concerted effort to walk taller, sit with an elegant purpose, and greet others with smiling eyes… then watch to see if others around you follow suit! 

Grandmillennial Tip:

A renowned plastic surgeon friend shared with me that this “generation of cell phone users” is continually gazing down at their phone screens, which causes premature aging. The remedy? Position the center of your phone or computer screen so that your eyes are looking at the center, not below it! This secret golden nugget of advice may save your neck from premature aging… I'm listening. My phone screen will be held “upward” from now on! 

I hope you pirouette into a stunning new year! 

Xx

Holly

Cultivate The New Year With Gratitude!

Cheers!  Happy New Year 2024! 

These darling, hand-painted cocktail napkins were a gift from Lemondaisy. I sent this photograph to her to acknowledge my gratitude and how I use them. 

After Christmas, Mummy gently, but firmly, encouraged me to write my thank-you notes for the presents I received from relatives. As I wrote, I longingly observed my friends playing outside… it felt like torture!  Yet, due to her insistence, gratitude became ingrained in me- it’s not innate. You are not born with gratitude; it is a learned mannerism. 

The Episcopal girls' school in Richmond, Virginia, where I attended, has a motto: "What we keep, we lose; only what we give remains our own." Expressing gratitude is among life's paramount endeavors.

Beyond a handwritten note, try to demonstrate to your gift-giver how you use their gift or express in person the joy it brings. This additional "nod of gratitude" is a kind and thoughtful gesture that will always be appreciated.

Wearing a gift when anticipating the gift-giver's presence or sharing your experience with a gifted item via email or phone call are simple ways to extend “additional gratitude.” Tell someone when you have used their recipe and how successful it was. Send an email photograph of a gift book while reading it on holiday, or show the champagne bottle you enjoyed for a special occasion. It does not take much effort to share additional gratitude… even when it is long after the gift was given to you.

A big kiss to you, my dear subscribers, for inspiring others to join in. You are keeping gracious living alive with an ever-growing international audience. 

To my dedicated team- Sabrena, Kristen, and Jenn- thank you for your tireless efforts in bringing this newsletter to the world and nurturing the growth of my business. What fun 2024 will be!

May 2024 be a gentle and gracious year filled with gratitude and prayers for peace on earth. 

With gratitude, 

Xx

Holly

How to repurpose napkin rings!

This Coalport horse and rider napkin ring was a gift to me many years ago. He jumps over boxwood and faux berries onto my Christmas platters every year! 

For your Christmas dinner, consider the idea of repurposing a napkin ring by transforming it into a darling  “petite adornment” to enhance food on a tray or table, or even in a powder room. 

Slip just a few sprigs of holly, pine or some flowers into a napkin ring, and voila! You'll have an attractive, Lilliputian-sized arrangement, and it only takes seconds to make. 

A little background about napkins rings: 

Napkin rings were created in France in the 19th century. Decorative napkin rings made of silver, porcelain, and other materials became popular in America, especially in the 20th century, and it continues today. Napkin rings were meant to identify napkins for family members and house guests so that the napkins could be used more than once before washing. 

Mummy only used her silver napkin rings for our family or her house guests, but never for a dinner party. She adhered to the old-school rule that using a napkin ring for a dinner guest would indicate that the napkins would be reused! Those words have stayed with me, as I only use my silver napkin rings for family members or house guests too. 

I started collecting polished pewter napkin rings (no polishing required!) for the birth of each grandchild with their name and birth date engraved on it.  

While visiting my daughter, Alexandra, in England, I plucked some pretty pink heather from her garden and placed it inside my granddaughter’s napkin ring to adorn her pink Herend Chinese Bouquet platter for an impromptu cocktail party.

GrandMillennial Tips:

Silver napkin rings are often considered a  thoughtful Christening present and appropriate for the birth of a baby. It is a lovely tradition to have them engraved to mark the baby's name and the occasion or date. It is also quite a practical gift, as the parents can use them too!

Another benefit of having napkin rings with the names or initials of family members is that children enjoy placing their personalized rings where they wish to be seated at the table, similar to a place card. 

My wishes to you for a most joyous holiday with family and friends.  Merry Christmas, dear ones! 

Xx

Holly

What is a "white dinner jacket" dress code?

As the Co-Chair of the Salvation Army of Palm Beach’s “Christmas in Paradise” 2023 gala this coming December 16th, I believe it will be a magical evening, dancing under the stars to the sounds of Sinatra!  The dinner dance is set around the stunning Olympic pool, which overlooks the ocean at The Beach Club in Palm Beach. The color scheme? Well, you guessed it: pink & green! 

The invitation sets the scene with this description on the insert: 

“Once upon a time, old Palm Beach was a very glamorous place, especially in the 50’s!  While Sinatra and the Rat Pack sang, gentlemen danced in their white dinner jackets with elegant ladies bejeweled in flowing dresses… and hair perfectly coiffed.  This intoxicating party scene was de rigueur!”

What is the dress code for this gala?

 It is “white dinner jacket.” 

“What is the difference between “white dinner jacket” versus “white tie?”  

A BIG difference!  Let me explain:

A white dinner jacket is equivalent to black-tie (aka tuxedo). But the major difference between the two is that white dinner jackets are worn only in the warm summer months or in a tropical venue (preferably at an outside function).

“White tie” is also called “tails” and is the most formal attire for gentlemen. Ladies are required to wear long gowns, never cocktail dresses. 

What do you do if you do not have a white dinner jacket?  

Wear black-tie (tux) because they are interchangeable, except that a white dinner jacket is worn ONLY in warm or tropical locations and would never be worn in the winter. Black-tie can be worn any time of year, in the summer or the winter.

What do ladies wear when the dress code is white dinner jacket or black-tie?  

They can wear a short, dressy cocktail dress OR a long gown.  

Is it too late to purchase a ticket to attend the Salvation Army’s “Christmas in Paradise” gala? 

No! Call by tomorrow to purchase a ticket, as this is the final cut-off for the headcount! Email: michelle.rodriguez@uss.salvationarmy.org  or #561-686-3560.

 I would be thrilled if you would attend!  So, join me and meet charming supporters of this exceptional charity, one that makes a stupendous difference around the world, and that I am honored to support.

Xx

Holly

Giving the gift that keeps on giving!

Miss Charlotte, my granddaughter, helped make some of my recipes for a Christmas party. She was intrigued by my worn and well-loved family cookbook.

For a special occasion and for the upcoming holidays, giving a handmade (or bespoke) gift is the ultimate expression of love! It doesn't have to be grand- it's the thought and effort that matters. So with that in mind, I have a “simple and meaningful” gift idea for you. It's a gift that was given to me that I have lovingly used for over 25 years… a family cookbook!

When my daughter, Alexandra, graduated from Trinity College, she lived at home for a month before she started her new job in Boston. Alexandra thought of a gift for me when she realized that she didn't know where to look for my “classic family recipes” within my collection of dog-eared cookbooks. She asked me to find our favorite family recipes and dictate them to her. She had me include my tried-and-true notes, which I tend to scribble alongside the recipes of “what to do and what not to do” having made it. 

She typed while I dictated the recipes! (We laughed as I tried to explain some of my tweaks. For example, how much is a “pinch” of an ingredient?!) For a few of the longer recipes, she xeroxed copies of them. These were then assembled in a large 3-ring notebook binder. She slipped the recipes into both sides of clear plastic sleeve pages. Colored separators delineated the sections (nibbles, party food, salads, desserts, etc.). In her handwriting and artwork, she created the cover page which she slipped into the front of the notebook.

Talk about a present that keeps on giving! I simply adore this cookbook and think of her each time I use it… which is all the time. It not only saves me from hunting down the recipes in my various cookbooks, I can also add new recipes to the binder.

Millennial Tip

Create an extended family cookbook:

My clever and creative sister-in-law, Jessie, created a hard-bound book of cherished recipes which she gathered from each of our extended family members to give as a present to her Mum for her 85th birthday. She also added family photos from years past to embellish the pages. Copies were given to each family too. We all adore the sweet memories and yummy recipes sprinkled in this cherished gift. 

So, think about sharing your recipes to give to your family members who cook, even if it's just a handful of handwritten index cards in a little file box! Or, xerox duplicate copies of recipes- I made a copy of my family cookbook to give to my daughter, Caroline, and daughter-in-law, KK, too.

Xx

Holly

Introducing the "Holly Holden Collection" of dresses!

Choosing fabrics with Maria Pucci of Gramercy Atelier for my Holly Holden Collection is always a delightfully rewarding experience! I am wearing the wonderfully detailed and Bavarian-inspired “Paley” blazer.  Photos by:  Vlad Larvin Photography NYC

Dear Ones,

Happy Thanksgiving! How grateful I am for you, my ardent subscribers… and thank you for the interest many of you have expressed in my wardrobe on Instagram.  On that note, it is with extra glee that I am able to share my newest endeavor with you and introduce my new line of clothing, The Holly Holden Collection,  in collaboration with Maria Pucci of Gramercy Atelier in NYC! I have been designing my wardrobe since I was 16, so it is truly a dream come true for me.  Maria and I share the same appreciation for classic, well-appointed fashion with stunning fabrics and detailed embellishments; our collaboration fits like a pair of white kid opera gloves!  And I am proud to say that every piece is made in America.

 The debut theme for my twelve designs is the “Swan Collection,” which embraces the admirable aspects of “old Palm Beach.” Are you familiar with Truman Capote's “Swans?”  They were a group of stylish, glamorous, and well-connected women in the 1950s-70s who were part of his inner circle, which included Lee Radziwill, Marella Agnelli, Gloria Guinness, C.Z. Guest, Dina Merrill, Mrs. Marjorie M. Post, and Babe Paley. Capote admired their intelligence, wit, and independence.  Their generous philanthropic lifestyle symbolized a bygone era of elegance, glamour, and graciousness.   I was inspired to use their first names to grace the various pieces in my collection.

Elegance is a timeless and refined attribute slowly disappearing in today's society and fashion… so to that end,  my “Swan Collection” features twelve graceful pieces, each classically designed as “quiet showstoppers.” They are not trendy; instead, they are notably understated and elegant. 

 In my office at Fox Hall, while choosing an exquisitely embroidered fabric for the “Marella” cocktail dress.

What color reigns supreme in my Palm Beach-inspired collection?  Yes, you guessed it: PINK!  Pink is a joyful color that evokes happiness, the “paradise" aura of Palm Beach.  My signature “Holly Holden detail?” A darling bow which embellishes the back side of each dress. 

 The signature Holly bow on the back vent of the “Lee” silk dress. 

Often referred to as “the ladies that lunch,” today's Swans are legends with their commitment and devotion to charities such as The Salvation Army, Cancer Alliance, and organizations like The Garden Club of America, The Colonial Dames, and The Order of St. John’s. These ladies serve on prestigious Boards, as well as being notable business leaders. Swans, then and today, are gloriously well-traveled, clever, and fun!  My Holly Holden “Swan Collection,” in collaboration with Gramercy Atelier, is dedicated to ladies who devote their time to joyfully and stylishly making the world a better place. Please peek here to see my Holly Holden Collection of “Swans!"  

The “Dina” dress is a must-have piece for your wardrobe! The elongated seaming and scalloped neckline are so becoming. It is perfect for day or evening events, and the 100% silk makes it lightweight for travel.

I would be SO grateful if you shared this email with like-minded friends on the hunt for that elegant and classically designed outfit.  I started this line because I could not find anything like it… so I had to create it! My fingers are crossed that you will find the perfect piece you have been searching for. Let me know what you think. I would LOVE to see you in one of my creations!  I will have a private showing in my Palm Beach residence in January, which you will be invited to.   Happy Thanksgiving!

Xx

Holly

Party Time! Cheers to Linen Cocktail Napkins!

Collecting a medley of pretty cocktail napkins through the years has given me a delightful selection to choose from for every type of party! 

"Party time is 'pretty' time!"
-Holly Holden

The little details you use when entertaining are the elements that make your guests feel honored and comfortable. 

In light of this, with Christmas, and the holidays approaching, raise the bar by offering your guests pretty little linen cocktail napkins! Nothing says ‘welcome’ more than greeting your guests at the door with a glass of bubbly along with an elegantly designed cocktail napkin. Voila, the scene is set and the party commences!  

Mummy used to say that paper napkins are for picnics and linen napkins are for lovely guests. Linen napkins can be personalized with embroidered monograms or whatever is meaningful to you, whether the name of your house, family crest, horses, endearment names, your personal quote, or anything else. There are such clever selections of cocktail napkins available that one could potentially collect a pretty set for every possible occasion, and why not?! 

Two additional benefits of using linen cocktail napkins are that you will be going green by reusing them and that they tend to cost approximately the same as nice paper ones if you buy in bulk. On my YouTube channel and in my book The Pretty and Proper Living Room, I also share some more examples of this practice, since it is one of my signature details when I entertain guests at Fox Hall.

Millennial Tip

Consider ordering some custom embroidered linen cocktail napkins as a gift to a hostess, for a bridal shower, birthdays, holidays, or 'just because.' I like to think that a bespoke gift is one that is always cherished. Custom linen cocktail napkins are a blank palette to get creative for any occasion!  

As for me, The Lori Jayne Store in Palm Beach is my go-to for cocktail napkins. The store has a precious array of designs, along with the capability to embroider whatever you wish to create!
 

Xx

Holly

Hostess Gifts: Unique and Thoughtful!

This gloriously beautiful “white flower arrangement” was thoughtfully sent to me by my precious friend, Jacqui, the day before a dinner party she attended at our first apartment in Palm Beach.  They were so stunning that I used them as a centerpiece!

With the holidays approaching, “party time” is in the air!  It is important to show your appreciation to your host or hostess, especially knowing the effort put forth for the party you are attending. Your joyful self, along with complementary verbal sentiments, will be music to the ears of the hostess.  Bringing a hostess gift to the party is a lovely idea too, but I want to share two other gestures you can give your hostess… prior to the party.

 Food:

A very dear friend recently responded to my invitation for a celebratory cocktail party at Fox Hall and remarked how thrilled she and her husband were to accept, and complimented me on how pretty the invitation was (always appreciated by the host).  And then, she extended an exceptionally gracious offer, one I had never heard of before. It inspired me to share it with you, too! She knows that I like to prepare and cook almost everything (as my gesture of love for my guests), and said, “I know you have tried-and-true recipes that you like to prepare for your parties, so if you share one with me, and give me the serving vessel you wish to use, I will make your recipe and deliver it back to you the day of the party. One less thing you have to do!” WOW, such a considerate gesture, right?!  

I am not suggesting that you do this too. Often, guests may offer to bring something, but I may not necessarily accept their kind offer when I am hosting a party. But the above, unique overture, coming from such a close friend (who just happens also to be a gourmet cook), meant the world to me. So, an alternative hostess gift would be to send, or drop off, a box of chocolates, petit-fours, or homemade goodies the day before the party, so the hostess can decide to serve your gift, and how best to present it. (Don’t be offended if you do not see what you gave her, as it is her prerogative to choose what to serve!) 

Flowers:

Drop off or send the hostess an arrangement of flowers (remember that white flowers can easily be placed in any room and with any color scheme) the day before the party! This will be an unexpected surprise, and receiving them the day before will enable the hostess to decide where to display them and/or transfer them into her own pretty vessel versus the generic florist vase.  

(Keep in mind that in Asian culture, “white” flowers are a symbol of death, so you may wish to send an alternative color depending on the recipient.)

If you are talented at arranging flowers, offer your expertise to the hostess to fill one of her vases with flowers and ask for the color of her choice. (Pink, please!)

My darling son-in-law sent this festive red foral Christmas Eve centerpiece before he arrived; the colors complemented the Santa hats and table adornments brilliantly!

If you are the guest of honor or want to give a more substantial hostess gift, offer to make (or order) the centerpiece… but only after you ask what colors, which kind of flowers, what arrangement style, and which container she wants, because this is the table's focal point! 

Happy Holly-Days!

Xx 

Holly

The Best Spiced Pecan Recipe You'll Ever Try!

Spiced pecans and sherry always go well together! This cherished bottle was given to Stuart and me when we attended a lunch with the Earl of Spencer at Althorp ( Princess Diana’s childhood home) years ago. Mummy taught me to always have sherry, in a decanter, readily available in the Living Room to serve to  impromptu guests… along with my pecans, which are easily retrieved from the refrigerator. 

The holidays are quickly approaching! Having lived in the South, I know that serving pecans, in any form, continues to be a cherished culinary treat and a timeless aspect of the traditional, gracious culture of the South, especially during the holidays. 

Homemade spiced pecans are a classic to serve and oh-so-simple to make! Perfect as nibbles during cocktail hour and festive during the holidays, they can also be a thoughtful hostess gift for any occasion too. 

Pecans can be stored in an air-tight container or ziplock bag in the freezer until you are ready to make this recipe.  Once made, they can be stored in an air-tight container in the refrigerator for weeks.  They are perfect to pull out to serve for impromptu guests quickly! 

Holly’s EASY Spiced Southern Pecans

Heat oven to 375 degrees

Ingredients:

4 Cups of pecan halves
4 Tbsp salted butter, melted
2 Tbsp brown sugar
2 Tbsp chopped, fresh rosemary
1 Tsp salt
½ Tsp cayenne pepper (or more, depending on how spicy you like them!)

To Make:

Mix all of the ingredients and spread on a baking sheet

Bake for 10-12 minutes at 375 degrees

NOTE: You want them brown but not burnt, so start checking them every minute after 9 minutes

Cool and serve immediately or store for weeks in the refrigerator in an air-tight container. While at it, double the recipe so you have some to give away! 

“Pecan” is pronounced “Pee KAHN!” and never as “Pee-Can.” Why? A “pee-can” goes under the bed… get it? Wink wink!

These spiced pecans are so yummy that they always seem to disappear in a flash! I like to serve them in a pretty silver porringer or a cut glass dish and always try to add sprigs of fresh rosemary for more color! 

Xx 

Holly

Halloween Decorating: An Elegant Approach!

 The English tea table in the foyer at Fox Hall is decorated with a quiet nod to Halloween.

BOO!

On Halloween, I prefer to decorate my home in a subdued, elegant way rather than a spooky one.  I have never been keen on over-the-top Halloween decorations or costumes; instead, I strive for a more understated, elegant, bewitchingly beautiful style!

Yes, my family carved pumpkins and went trick-or-treating. I enjoyed creating and reusing some of my own past costumes for our three children, including a formal Japanese kimono (wig and all!), a colorful Hawaiian grass skirt, and a much-loved Dutch girl outfit. We continue the longstanding “Holden” tradition of having hamburgers and milkshakes for Halloween dinner (nothing like a bit of sugar just before commencing this candy-gathering evening!).

But, regarding decorating our house, I prefer more low-key decorations. I embrace the challenge of repurposing several items that I already own. It is SO easy to embellish a Staffordshire dog with an orange ribbon collar, collect mums from the garden,  and fill a silver basket with candy corn!  I want the Halloween aura to feel fashionably festive, not scary.

Three years ago, my daughter-in-law, Karen (then pregnant with our grandson!), and I made a video about Halloween decorating.  The YouTube video shares some tips for creating a festive Halloween atmosphere without going “overboard.”  We had such fun… along with my ol’ Victor the Vulture, who, after 30 years, has become rather feather-bare! 

So, what about you? How do you decorate for Halloween?

I hope you have a boo-utiful Halloween!

Xx, Holly

The #1 Must-Have for Every Silk Scarf Lover!

 Two of my most cherished scarf rings!

It's that time of year again when silk scarves come out of the closet, and I love nothing more than to add a splash of color to my outfits with one of my favorite accessories. Scarves become my magic “travel wardrobe” because they are lightweight and enable me to pack my suitcase with interchangeable monotone outfits; a plain outfit is elegantly transformed with a scarf. I can add my signature splash of pink… my happy color!

But, what about scarf rings? These clever little accessories can enhance your scarf in so many ways, and they're not as intimidating to use as you might think. Scarf rings are often overlooked, despite the fact that they can add a touch of elegance and sophistication to any outfit. Take a peek here at how I use one of my favorite scarf rings, which is a triangle of three riding spurs.

Fold the scarf on a diagonal, slip the ring onto one end, then up to the center. The scarf ring enables the scarf to become a lovely accent to your neckline and is less bulky than just a mundane knot at the end of your scarf.

Grand Millennial Tips:

The three-spur Hermes scarf ring was a gift to me from my dear friend Carolyn Lewis of Louisville! What a fabulous gift, right?  So, if you know someone who wears scarves, consider giving a scarf ring. It's the perfect present!  

Scarf rings can also be used to create a belt with your scarf. 

For even more options and inspiration on how to use scarf ring styles, watch this YouTube video: “Cranleyplace, Scarf Rings: A Must Have.”  

Because silk scarves can be rawwther expensive, I pack both my scarves and scarf rings in my carry-on luggage. If my checked luggage gets lost or is delayed, I can simply add a scarf from my carry-on bag to enhance almost any temporary outfit. 

To keep your pressed scarves from wrinkling in a suitcase, fold them into a square and slip them into a gallon-sized zip-lock bag. It works like a charm! 

Colorful designs on a scarf will add a lovely and lively dimension to the most straightforward black or monotone outfit. My daughter Caroline cheered me on when I introduced my television series to the American Public Television convention in Salt Lake City. 

There are more of my “scarf-tying” ideas here, in a YouTube episode that my daughter-in-law, Karen Holden and I created.  

I hope you will consider adding scarf rings to your accessory wardrobe. They are versatile and will hold your scarf in various positions to enhance your ensemble. 

XX

Holly

The "regal" way to hold a dessert fork and spoon!

A springtime place setting at Fox Hall. The dessert fork is facing to the right, and the dessert spoon is facing to the left. Notice how both ends are not equally aligned with one another.  

Thanksgiving is approaching, and yummy desserts are guaranteed to be served! 

When you see a dessert fork and spoon placed at the top of your plate, do you know the proper way to hold them?  

Most people do not!  They tend to pick up just one utensil, the fork, and then leave the spoon on the table.  Truth be known, the appropriate way is to hold both pieces of flatware, simultaneously! 

The fork is held in your left hand, and the spoon in your right hand.  With the fork in your left hand, have the fork tines face down. The fork is a "pusher,” used to place/push the dessert into the spoon.  One then eats from the spoon, not the fork, as seen in this Instagram video. 

So, if the fork and spoon are centered and placed above the dinner plate, which goes on top? 

The spoon is on top and faces to the left.  The fork is on the bottom, closest to the plate, with the prongs facing to the right. Here is how I remember the placement: The fork prongs face to the right, away from your heart. You don’t want to poke your heart! And a spoonful of sugar points toward your heart and represents a “sweetheart!” 

Would you like to be privy to a significantly refined “sweet secret?”

While arranging "a romantic dinner for two"  for my book, The Pretty & Proper Living Room, in the living room at Fox Hall, a dear friend and consummate British gentleman, popped in to say hello and glanced at my place setting. He politely suggested a slight adjustment and gently moved the dessert spoon and fork, infinitesimally sideways, so they did not line up precisely on top of one another.  "This enables your guest to pick up the spoon without the possibility of the fork pricking the right hand,” he explained, “a refined and regal gesture.”

 Rarely will you see the dessert fork and spoon placed above the plate in regal residences in England. It is considered to be “restaurant-style” to do so.  Instead, the dessert fork and spoon align with the rest of the flatware on either side of the plate.  (The dessert spoon is placed closest to the plate on the right, and the dessert fork just to the left of the plate.) But Buckingham Palace now places them above the plate instead of to the side of the plate, as a nod to the international placement form. 

A place setting in the stunning State Dining Room at Blenheim Palace in Oxfordshire, England, has the dessert fork directly next to the plate on the left. To the right of the plate, the dessert spoon has a small knife between the plate and the spoon, perhaps for cheese as the last course.  The episode for my public television series, You Are Cordially Invited is here. 

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To refer to the sweet course as “dessert” in England!  

What is done:  Dessert is ALWAYS referred to as “pudding!”

No-no: To delight in your dessert before the hostess (or host) picks up their spoon and fork first.

Sweet talk! Dessert is the best part of any meal, and eating it with the proper etiquette is like icing on the cake… or pudding, as the Brits would say!

Xx 

Holly

Pearls: The perfect gem!

“Diamonds may be a girl's best friend, but pearls are MY true gem!”  ~Holly Holden

My classic interior design mantra for my first book was: Design once, for a lifetime, which also applies to jewelry. Pearls NEVER go out of style! They are precious, rare, and have been prized for their enduring beauty for centuries. Pearls are appropriate and charming any time of day. 

My second book, Pearls of Palm Beach, features eight timeless and tailored houses… elegant and quietly understated, just like pearls! 

 “The pearl is the queen of gems and the gem of queens.”  ~Grace Kelly

Pearls are rare because they are not easy to find or harvest and are indeed the gems of royalty. Kings and queens have prized pearls for their unique luster, luminosity, rarity, and symbolism for centuries. Queen Elizabeth II consistently wore her triple strand of pearls (given to her by her father) or her double strand for almost any occasion or venue. For formal or state functions, her pearl necklaces were enhanced with diamonds and other gems. 

Photo source: socalrarefinds

Pearls are often associated with cherished memories and feelings. I will never forget when my dear father went to Tokyo on business and returned to our home in Taipei, Taiwan, to give me my first strand of pearls. They were from Mikimoto, a name I had never heard of! I put them on, and I have always worn pearls from that moment forward. They remind me of my beloved father. Besides that, they are pretty and bring happiness!

“Pearls are always appropriate.”  ~Jackie Kennedy

Pearls are appropriate for any occasion, any time of day! Pearls are durable gemstones and complement anyone with timeless appeal, regardless of age, skin tone, hair color, or outfit… which also makes them a good investment for jewelry lovers. They come in many colors, from natural and cultured to freshwater, which is a whole other topic. 

To this day, I love to wear pearls everywhere and every day, thanks to my thoughtful husband! Through the years, I have learned a few secrets. Here is one on how to use a pin to repurpose a long strand of pearls. 

Grand Millennials:

Pearls remain the traditional and appropriate jewelry of choice when attending a funeral.

If you need a gift for a classic-minded lady… from a teenager to a bride on her wedding day, or an anniversary or birthday present, think pearls! Pearl earrings, bracelets, rings, and necklaces remain cherished and timeless gifts for ANY occasion. 

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To wear an additional necklace (i.e., a gold necklace) along with a string of pearls.

What is done: Pearls are worn alone… but it doesn't matter how many strands of pearls  you have on! An old-school, secret rule is that when wearing a strand of pearls, adding a different necklace is only done if it is another strand of pearls.  In essence, do not add a gold necklace or any other kind of necklace to your strand of pearls. What is the reasoning? I think originally, it was thought that a gold or silver necklace would scratch the luster off of the pearls.   

No-no: To wear pearls in water (shower, pool, ocean). 

What is done: Pearls need to be worn, and the oils from your skin keep them happy!

No-no: To allow any perfume or hairspray to touch them.

What is done:  Apply your perfume and hairspray prior to putting your pearl jewelry on, and also apply it where your pearls will not be placed.  

No-no: To place your pearls next to other pieces in your jewelry box, especially when traveling, as the pearls may get scratched (sadly, I am speaking from experience!).

What is done: Wrap a piece of tissue paper around each piece of pearl jewelry to protect it from other pieces damaging the pearl’s luster. 

“Pearls will make you glow like moonlight!”   ~Coco Chanel

Gosh, do you remember the “add-a-pearl” necklace, which was traditionally given to little girls? When did YOU receive your first string of pearls? 

Xx Holly

Let's peek under the table!

A vision of symmetry and divine loveliness! Not only are decorative porcelains presented on the English hall console table, but also under the table with a pair of vases and a handsome antique Georgian cellarette (wine holder) in the center. Photo Source: whimsicalhomeandgarden.com via Pinterest

This vignette has it all: balance and symmetry! The Chinese blue and white garden stools add color and harmony underneath the English table. Photo source: Lusterinteriors.blogspot.com.au via Pinterest. Vignette designed by Rosa Bernal.

One decorative practice I discerned while filming an episode inside the Private Apartments at Blenheim Palace in Oxfordshire, England, left an indelible impression: to utilize the space under a piece of furniture!  

In the Blenheim episode, you will view elegant interiors in the company of Lady Henrietta Spencer-Churchill. The time-honored decorative elements are inviting and charming, albeit practical too. At the end of one of the gloriously long hallways, you will spy an elegant console table featuring a blue and white porcelain collection. Below, three large blue and white vases grace the floor. They enhance the entire vignette created around the portrait by Paul Cesar of Consuelo Vanderbilt, the Duchess of Marlborough, who was married to the 9th Duke. The soft blue hues depicted in her dress complement the blue and white porcelain collection.  The entire visual is perfection!

So, look around your house for “unused real estate” under a table, console, sideboard, or highboy, and place a decorative piece there. Here are a few suggestions:  

~ a bust, statue, or sculpture

~ a Chinese porcelain footbath

~ a cachepot filled with plants or flowers

~ a stack of large coffee-table books

~ a cellarette 

~ a collection of vases

Also, placing an ottoman, bench, or ceramic garden stool underneath a table can easily be repurposed, if needed, for extra seating. 

A bronze horse from the Hunt Room at Fox Hall decided to trot to the front hall and stable underneath the antique American card table!

Grandmillennial Tip:

If you have small children or rambunctious dogs, books and benches are more substantial in weight and less likely to tip over and break than a collection of porcelain vases on the floor… saying from experience! 

Xx 

Holly

How to double your candlelight: A secret ingredient for a magical evening!

A gloriously handsome Georgian Irish oval mirror, c.1790, from Fileman Antiques in England. While over two hundred years old, its classical design transcends time and hints at a modern aesthetic. Does it hold two or four candles?

“There are two ways of spreading light, to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” 

  ~ Edith Wharton

Candlelight can turn a mundane event into a celebration! A candlelit dinner somehow magically becomes... more memorable. Candles have been integral to celebrations for centuries, from churches to dinner parties and atop birthday cakes. Candles create significant moments. 

Mummy always said, “Everything tastes better in candlelight.” And I think everyone “looks” better in candlelight! 

What is a simple way to “double” your candlelight? 

Place candles in front of a mirror! This technique has been used for centuries. The double reflection of candlelight in a mirror is alluringly majestic.

While filming my television series at Blenheim Palace, England, in the private dining room, a pair of dramatic candelabras doubled the reflected candlelight between resplendent mirrors. Simply magical! 

One of a pair of Georgian gilt girandoles in the dining room at Fox Hall reflects the chandelier lights in the mirror. Another reason for mirrors is that they reflect all types of light! 

Why are white and ivory candles the most traditional choice of color?

Let’s take a little peek at candle history! Candles were initially made of tallow (cow, sheep, animal fat, or oils).  Beeswax was introduced to the Europeans in the Middle Ages as an alternative to tallow. Natural beeswax is the color of honey and was originally sun-bleached for a lighter white, thus making them more expensive. Due to their expense, white and ivory candles were considered a step above any other candle and historically were used in noble residences, palaces, and churches. They are often seen as a symbol of purity and elegance for an inviting atmosphere. A white candle continues to be a timeless, traditional choice, especially for formal events.! 

GrandMillenial Tip:

Beware of air-conditioning and/or window breezes... I found out the hard way! The newly installed A/C vent in our Palm Beach ceiling blew downward and onto the dining room table, which caused the candle wax to drip endlessly.  And with the windows open at Fox Hall, a summer breeze made the candlelight from the wall sconces drip onto two Hepplewhite silk upholstered chair seats… causing it to be a “rawwwther” expensive dinner party! 

How do you get candle wax off a table?

I use a rubber spatula to scrape off the larger bits and a soft cloth with dish soap and hot water to melt and remove the remaining wax smears.  The use of a hairdryer will also melt the wax. 
How do you remove wax drips from a tablecloth? 

Freeze the tablecloth first, and then scrape it off. Or, place a brown paper bag or towel over the remaining wax and iron it on a low setting. The wax will melt and transfer to the paper. Repeat this process until all of the wax is gone, and then wash it, but I prefer to send it off to be professionally cleaned

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-no: To have the white wick visible on a candle. 

What is done: A wick must always be blackened, even if the candle is never used. Candles are meant to be used, so blacken the wick on all candles to indicate you know this little, old-school secret.  

Xx 

Holly

PS: I received excellent advice and wonderfully enlightening responses from many of you about “Sympathy Notes,” worthy of your attention.  See my Hello Holly Addendum below, after reading about my amazing sponsors!

Sincere Sympathy Notes

Do you know someone who has recently lost a loved one? A darling subscriber asked me to discuss the nuances of writing a proper sympathy note, so here are my thoughts:

What is the most sincere type of sympathy note?

A handwritten note, not a “store-bought” sympathy card, is the most sincere way to offer your condolences. There is no need to buy a sympathy card, EVER. Your words are a “thousand times more meaningful” than what is printed on a store-bought sympathy card!

What kind of stationery is most appropriate?

White stationery, preferably a fold-over informal card (pictured above) or a flat card. Old-school formality is to have your name engraved.  Another option is to have your name embossed or with thermography.  Both are less expensive than engraving. 

Other than a note card, what is another option?

Another suitable option is plain white or ecru (off-white) writing paper, preferably in a heavy stock. My favorite stationery companies are Dempsey & Carroll, Tiffany & Co., or Crane and Co.

What color ink is appropriate to write a sympathy note?

Black ink is a proper and traditional choice for a sympathy note, preferably with a fountain pen.

What should I write? 

What words would you like to hear if you lost a loved one? Take a moment to think about the person who has died, and then write your loving words of sympathy. Mention the deceased person's name and your relationship with them.   A grieving person will appreciate your genuine words of sympathy. Commisserate that it is a difficult time and offer a sweet memory that you have that may comfort the recipient.  It is also kind to suggest: “I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. I hope that some of the happy memories you hold dear will comfort you during this sorrowful  time.” And mention that you are available to help in any way. 

How do I sign my note?

Thoughtful valedictions are: “With deepest sympathy” or “With love and sympathy.” 

What does a line through a name on the stationery indicate?

A line through your name is an old-school “secret” tradition. If your formal name on your writing paper includes a title, such as Mrs., Mr., Lady, Countess, or Doctor, you may draw a line through your name when writing a dear friend. The line through your name discreetly indicates that you are addressing them personally, as a friend, and without formality. This is appropriate for any occasion, including a gift card note. NOTE: If your name does not have a title in front of it, do not draw a line through your name. (It is already informal without a title.)  The same applies to monograms: no title, no line!

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-No: To mention anything negative about the deceased person in your note. Only mention lovely memories!

Xx 

Holly

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"When to stand-up!" Savoir-faire

As a student attending St. Catherine's Episcopal girl's school, I vividly remember when a teacher entered the classroom, we were required to stand up immediately. And, the consequence if we didn’t? A demerit was issued for either study hall or to stay after school. Oh, we indeed stood up! Here I am attending our… shhh, 50th reunion! 

After a long “non-social-interaction” hiatus during COVID, I think the “when to stand up” topic is worth revisiting! A darling subscriber reminded me about this simple courtesy, which sadly seems to be disappearing these days. 

“I would love to see you discuss how a young person should stand up when an adult enters the room. My children were always embarrassed and said, ‘Mom, none of my friends stand up.’ I replied, 'It is the polite thing to do!' It seems that even with our grandchildren, it is not done much anymore.” 

I agree wholeheartedly and am an enthusiastic advocate of this polite gesture. So, let’s discuss a few more standing-up scenarios: 

Who stands for whom when a person enters a room?

~Ladies and children stand when an older person enters a room. 

~Gentlemen stand when a lady enters a room.  

~A gentleman also stands for another gentleman when greeting him.

Standing up is a distinguished gesture and was ingrained in me by my parents. And yes, to this day, I continue to stand up for a man or woman who is older than I am! This simple, polite courtesy never goes out of style. 

Also, who stands up if a visitor comes to say hello at your dinner table at a restaurant or club? 

A gentleman should always stand for a man or woman who stops by a table to say hello. 

Should ladies stand when a lady or gentleman visits your table?

It is not required for a lady to stand if seated at the table. But, as a thoughtful gesture, I always stand for someone older than me and also for a friend who is dear to me.  

When visitors come to your table and an introduction is being made, does a seated lady stand to shake hands?

I think it is appropriate to always stand to shake someone’s hand (man or woman) when being introduced. It is not required for a lady to stand up when being introduced, but I cannot comfortably remain seated if I am meeting someone. I think it is more appropriate to stand and shake someone’s hand. What are your thoughts?!

GrandMillennial Tips:

At a restaurant or club, if you stop to say hello to someone at their table, politely acknowledge the gentlemen who stand up with a “Please sit down!” (Most gentlemen will still not sit down until the lady visitor has left.) 

And with that in mind, if you are the visitor coming to someone’s table, don't be an overstayer! Say hello, introduce yourself, and then… skedaddle! No one wants their food to get cold while you chat away (unless you're “genuinely” invited to sit down and join them). 

Have children and grandchildren? Maybe practice rewarding those who hop up for guests that visit either your home or at a restaurant dinner table with candy or a hot fudge sundae!

Xx Holly

PS: Please be a dear and inspire one friend to subscribe. I received some splendid remarks from my last newsletter- they are found in the addendum below my darling sponsors! Take a peek!

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How to properly butter your bread!

How to properly butter your bread! 

When my darling grandchildren from Germany visited this summer, I noticed they buttered their entire piece of bread or biscuit at the dinner table, versus the American etiquette of buttering only one bite-sized piece at a time.  (They have polished table manners thanks to their parents, who insist on a sit-down dinner together every night… practice, practice!) Etiquette varies in different countries, which inspired me to write about bread and butter protocol in America. 

Millennials, if you are invited to a business dinner…let’s brush up on your “bread and butter” skills.  (Pssst… this little secret speaks volumes about your table manners.) Take it or leave it, but at least you will be aware of this simple polished gesture!

When bread is served to you, take the piece of bread and place it onto your butter plate, which is to the left of your dinner plate, and let it rest for a moment. Then, break or tear one piece at a time with your fingers. Never cut your bread with a knife. Take the piece that you have broken off and butter it.  And then, eat one “buttered piece” at a time!   

Where should the butter knife be placed on an individual butter plate?  

The butter knife is placed on the butter plate at the 10 and 2 o'clock position, with the blade pointed towards the diner. In England, it is placed at the 12 and 6 o’clock position, with the blade facing to the left, away from the dinner plate. 

Any more ideas for individual butter plates? 

Butter plates can be an amusing adornment on your table! For example, a glass "leaf-shaped" plate for the fall and in the spring, add an edible flower on top of the butter. For Christmas, two “holly” leaves decorate my butter plates (without the poisonous red berries!).  In the  summer, I add a few tiny mint or basil  leaves from the garden. 

Uniquely shaped butter molds will enhance your butter plates too. 

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-No: To hold your butter knife high above the butter plate while breaking or buttering the bread.

What is done: Keep all flatware as close to any plate as possible. Flatware should not be flying above the place setting, ever. Discreetly break your bread, hold it just barely above the plate, and butter it. Return the butter knife to the plate in the same position that it was placed when you sat down at the table.

Butter makes everything taste better, right? Thank you, Julia Child!

Xx 

Holly