"Naples Tables," a splendid event!

How fabulous it was to participate in The League Club’s “Naples Tables” this year!  Celebrating their fourth year, what a successful charity event it has become. 

Today is our daughter Caroline’s birthday! I remember on her third birthday, she wanted an “Angelina Ballerina” party… how adorable it was to see a sea of pink tights and tutus twirling about as her friends entered the pink-themed dining room.  Part of the delight was setting the table with Caroline beforehand.  We collected pink adornments from around the house to create a magical birthday luncheon for a dozen darling “little ladies” to pirouette and celebrate. 

Setting a “unique and memorable” table to reflect a celebratory moment is something I cherish doing.  I learned by osmosis from my mother, and she from her mother, and on down the line.  So, when my long-time Connecticut friends, Nancy Zwiener, and Penny Marziali, in Port Royal, Naples, invited me to participate in a “Naples Tables” event at the Ritz Hotel, hosted by a noteworthy charity, The League Club in Naples, it did not take toooo much arm-twisting to accept! 

On Saturday afternoon, I picked up the pretty, poppy-adorned floral arrangement for my table, which I created with the florist at HIVE in W. Palm Beach. I then transported them to Naples, from Palm Beach, with my car air-conditioning set so low (to preserve the flowers until the Tuesday opening night of “Naples Tables”) that I became an ice cube upon arrival. Oh, the things we do for charity! 

The League Club is open to women who have been, or still are, members of The Junior League.  I was a member of The Junior League of Hartford and know firsthand how stellar it is for raising monies to benefit the community.  “Naples Tables” is superbly organized and raises oodles of dollars.  I was honored to participate alongside 60 other designers from around the country. There were over 1400 attendees; Charlotte Moss, a fellow Richmonder, was the guest speaker.

Originally, I thought I would design a horsey-themed table for my new porcelain line, The Equestrian Collection.  In my mind, I would use my Jules Mene bronze horse sculpture as the centerpiece, with a miniature blanket of petite tea roses around his neck.  “Run for the Roses,” I thought… until the world-class designer Wilfredo Emanuel requested to create a table with my porcelain (he carries it in his posh Naples store, N Color).  What an honor; a resounding “yes,” I said!  With over 4000 red roses in a 14’ x 14’ space to a video projecting running horses as the backdrop, Wilfredo created a brilliant vision for all to see.  He is known for the most stunning exhibits, and indeed, it was an exceptional showcase for my porcelain!

So now, what will I use for my 72” round table design?  Good thing… I was able to debut my newest porcelain design, the Grand Jubilee  (for orders, please contact natalie@hollyholden.com), which features a whimsical and colorful confetti aesthetic- Yippee!  It was perfect for creating a “picnic under the lemon trees” theme because I wanted to relay a joyful celebration of life with precious girlfriends.  Several commented that the Jubilee design would also be superb to start the day on a breakfast table, and also on a yacht because it exudes a table filled with joy and happiness.

An old-school wicker picnic basket (filled with two plates, linen napkins, wine glasses, a cutting board, and flatware) was placed on every other chair to enhance the “picnic” theme.

It was glorious to be greeted by so many charming Naples ladies who subscribe to my newsletter and follow me on Instagram… I adore you all!  Thank you, “Naples Tables,” for including me.  If any of you are able to secure tickets next year, grab them the day they are for sale, or they will be gone!  Visually, you will be inspired by a stupendous sea of table-setting ideas and beautiful flowers, which are enhanced by the gracious and very clever Naples ladies participating and attending.  So, so much fun!

Grandmillennial Tips:

When setting the table, consider taking one of your children or a grandchild with you as you walk around the house to discover items to decorate the table.  This amusing exercise will teach them to look at what they already own and use it in various ways to enhance a festive theme or celebrate a special occasion, as discussed in a past newsletter, “Honoring your Guest of Honor.”

When designing your table, consider ways to complement the colors within your porcelain design. The colorful candies and the candles both reflect colors in the plate design.  I repurposed the coffee mugs as little topiary plants since water and champagne glasses were already placed for each guest at the table. 

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To have a centerpiece too high so guests cannot see one another across the table. The purpose of dining at a dinner table is to have conversations while seeing the other guests’ eyes.

NOTE: The "Naples Tables" event is an exception to the above no-no.  The centerpieces are purposely created to be dramatically tall and command attention to the table and room! 

Happy Birthday to you, my lambie, Caroline! 

Xx Holly

Butter Makes It Better!

Julia Child famously said, "With enough butter, anything is good!" and I concur! 

For a ladies' luncheon for the Duchess of Rutland,  I placed heart-shaped butter on individual butter plates. (The candles are lit just to add ambiance to the photograph. The tradition in the USA is not to light them before dusk.) 

In a dash? I usually am!  I enjoy cooking for my dinner parties, which is my way of showing love.  But, when my travel and time does not allow me to, and a caterer is a must, I still try to make the dessert and one more little detail that graces the table.  Can you guess what it is? A butter mold! 

 I use a butter mold so that each person’s individual butter plate has a uniquely shaped piece of butter on it.  This is so easy to do and can be done in advance and frozen until your party… one and done!

Butter molds have been used since the 18th century and were made of wood and used by dairy farmers.  Their stamped designs indicated their farms and added visual appeal. And today, there are fanciful molds made of silicone!  A multitude of designs can be found in specialty kitchen suppliers online, and customized molds can be ordered on Etsy.  

In our historic Georgian house in Glastonbury, CT, the Brunscwhig & Fils documentary wallpaper in our dining room featured a few butterflies, hence a butterfly mold.  At Fox Hall, the obvious: a fox head! (Which, incidentally, is often mistaken for a cat. Oh well!)

While shopping for Valentine's gifts for grandchildren, I spied a heart-shaped silicone ice cube mold for petite ice cubes, which can ALSO easily be adapted into butter molds. Can you spy the fox head mold next to it!?

I find silicone molds extremely pliable, making them the most manageable vessel to use when removing frozen butter, and they can be placed in the dishwasher too. 

Simply allow the butter to come to room temperature, spread it into the molds, and freeze.  Add saran wrap on top to keep the butter fresh.  Remove from the freezer, bend and snap it out,  and place one or two on everyone’s butter plate before your guests arrive. (Or, have your caterer place them while the dinner is prepared.) Butter thaws rather quickly. 

GrandMillenial Tips:

If you don’t have time to make the butter molds, just slice pieces of butter lengthwise from the stick and cut them in half again; then, you will have a unique rectangle shape versus a mundane square.

Butter is even more appealing when it has a touch of greenery on or next to it.  As long as I have been entertaining, I try to place a little sprig of rosemary, parsley, mint, or even a tiny leaf from a non-poisonous plant (whatever I have on hand!) on or near the butter.  A holly leaf, without the poisonous red berry, works well at Christmas… and has my name on it!

Just a touch of green makes the butter sing!

Perhaps, you have heard of a butter curler? It looks like a metal hook with one side that is serrated. My advice: avoid it! I find it challenging to master this instrument and use my easy-peasy silicone molds instead.

These butterballs were presented to me by the waiter at Renato’s Restaurant off Worth Avenue.  Another option, one that restaurants use for the perfect butter ball: purchase them pre-made online. 

Stuart likes “sweet, unsalted” butter cold, and I prefer “salted” butter, soft at room temperature… guess who wins?!

So, before you entertain, “Keep calm and add butter!”

Xx Holly

The Secret to Choosing a Wall Color!

My daughter, Alexandra, and I spent a lovely morning at the Barberini Museum, in Potsdam, Germany, near Berlin. My second time there… It's a must-visit! Philanthropist Hasso Plattner, the founder of this Impressionist museum, displays his vast and truly stunning array of art. Why were the walls painted gray in this gallery room? I imagine the wall paint color was chosen to complement the cold, snow-scene paintings in the room. The iconic haystack has faint hints of gray too. 

Have you ever been in a quandary about what color to paint the walls for a room in your house? Are you curious about how and where to start the color search? If you do not have a designer to do the job for you, then may I suggest a secret that notable art museums and galleries use brilliantly?  They carefully select a color that is represented in one or more pieces of art in a particular salon/room and paint the walls using that hint of color found within the artwork.  The artwork is subtly enhanced by the chosen “wall backdrop” color, creating a symphony of pleasing visual aesthetics. 

The deep charcoal-navy wall color is a replication of the cathedral tower in this painting.

Tour notable art museums. Discover how the color on the walls complements the art in the room. 

What a delightful experience it is to take my grandchildren into a museum and have them observe the wall color and then ask them to hunt for where the inspiration came from. I enjoy the challenge and search too. From the pink dress on a lady, to a blue shoe, or the gray tonality of snow, you will always find something that is the key to the color chosen for the walls. 

Just a hint of gray, in the far left corner of Monet’s Water Lilies, is a clue as to why the same color was chosen for the walls in this room.

Choose a color for the walls with your artwork in mind. This will meld the art and the room together for a carefully curated aura. Or, select a fabric design or carpet color, or whatever will have a prominent presence in a room. Decide what hint of color you adore within that piece and use it on the walls. I tend to use soft, pastel shades and colors that bring visual happiness to me. 

Paint the walls with a flat finish, which is the traditional finish, and it does not compete with the texture or sheen within the artwork displayed. 

Happy hunting!

Oh, and here’s another secret for you! I have a new online shop- The House of Holly Holden, and it’s LIVE now! Go to  www.ShopHollyHolden.com and take a peek! More curated darling goodies will be coming soon. But for now, you can easily order my Equestrian Collection…giddy-up!

Xx 

Holly 
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A Postscript from the “Bread and Butter” newsletter, which I thought you too may enjoy reading: 

Dear Holly,

I had such a giggle reading your missive on “bread and butter” notes. As a Southern daughter, I was raised by my dear Momma,  a true belle, to believe that thank-you notes must be written as quickly as possible or like fish, they would begin to smell. 

I remember starting mine in the plane on the way to my honeymoon.  Momma also felt that a postmark from a foreign location added to the impression that all due diligence had been expended to insure the recipient was thanked in a punctual manner.  The fact that we only went as far as Florida was irrelevant.

Thank you for bringing back a fond memory. My dearest Momma, now ninety, still maintains her selection of proper note papers for all occasions in her writing desk. It makes me happy that you are passing on this knowledge to young girls who may not have been blessed as I was with a Southern belle to guide them.

Sincerely,

Nikki

Bread & Butter Note

My writing paper is always ready for a “bread and butter” note!

Have you ever heard the old-school term “bread and butter” note and wondered what it is? 

It is an old-school term for a thank-you note, which is dutifully sent to thank a host/hostess for their hospitality!

The gracious gesture of sending a “bread and butter” thank-you note is an appreciated gift to your host.  It expresses, in writing, how much you appreciate someone's hospitality. 

Speaking of thank-you notes, a handwritten note is more important than ever these days, especially with the present-day trend to send off a quick thank-you via email.  A handwritten acknowledgment for someone’s hospitality, gift, or act of kindness is the pinnacle of graciousness, a quiet beacon of polish, and a proper nod to good manners. 

Interestingly enough, in my lifetime, I have noticed that the people who take the time to write a note tend to be some of the most remarkable, busiest people I have ever met. From respected leaders to grand-dames, volunteers to philanthropists, and even grandchildren, thank-you notes are instinctually always cherished by the recipients. They understand how important it is to recognize someone else’s effort on their behalf.  

A thank-you note takes time and thought, as well as writing paper, a stamp, and a postbox… unlike a quickly composed email that is sent off with just a click and, after reading, disappears.  This simple, little personal gesture is like gold, trust me!

GrandMillenial Tips:

In Europe, thank-you notes are written with a fountain pen in blue or black ink.  So, think of investing in one. I too adore fountain pens; they add a charming aspect to any correspondence. Or, instead of a ballpoint pen, use a rolling ball pen which is somewhat similar to a fountain pen. An informal thank-you note, these days, may also be written with an amusing ink color…like pink! 

 Peek under the envelope flap of elegant writing paper, and you may discover the name of the stationery company!

If the recipient lives close enough, hand deliver the note. On the front, bottom left corner of the envelope, you may write the words: By hand.  

A thank-you note should ideally be written and mailed within 48 hours of receiving a gift, attending a celebration, or being a houseguest. (Brides supposedly have a year to write a thank-you note, but the unwritten protocol is to write the note within three months of receiving a wedding gift.)

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-no: To think that an “email thank-you” is a sufficient expression for staying at someone’s home or being a guest at a dinner party. The amount of time and effort a hostess puts into a party for your pleasure should inspire you to take a few moments to acknowledge their efforts by writing a note.

No-no: To buy writing paper or a card that has "thank you" already printed on it.  When you write a note to say thank you, there is no need to have this printed for you by the stationery company!

No-no: To start any correspondence with the word "I." This gives the impression that you are more important than the person you are writing to.

No-no: To start a thank-you note with the words, “Thank you!”

What is done: Explain what you are appreciative of, and then express your thanks. The more specific your note is, expressing details about the event or gift and why you are so appreciative, the better!

I have kept many notes over the years because they not only hold memories, they are a meaningful reminder of the family member, friend, or colleague that sent them. Let’s keep this tradition alive and well. Do you agree?

Xx

Holly

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Will you be my Valentine?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is Sweet,
And so are you! 

Will you be my Valentine?

Do you remember as a child giving little valentine cards, each with various sayings, and then slipping them in a classmate's heart-decorated box, signed with “love from your secret admirer?” My grandchildren are doing this right now! 

The actual history of Valentine's Day is lengthy, but in short, sending a Valentine as a gesture of courtship is a custom that began in England and France in the 18th century. 

So, why are red roses so popular for Valentine’s Day? In the Victorian days, certain flowers had a language of their own and relayed different messages to the recipient: red roses, tulips, and carnations meant “I love you!” 

Valentine's Day has become such a commercial holiday in America. So, beyond buying a card, or other tokens of love such as chocolates and flowers on just Valentine’s Day, why not celebrate the language of love all year long, with little gestures you create for your loved ones? Here are a few ideas:

My daughter makes heart-shaped pancakes that delight her children, not only on Valentine’s Day. It’s so easy to do.

Cutting out pink paper hearts and writing a love message, slipping it in a lunchbox, a suitcase, a briefcase, or in a place that you know the recipient will look, but still be surprised, is so simple yet meaningful. Use pinking shears to make the hearts extra special.

I create little flower arrangements in silver baby cups to put in our children and grandchildren’s bedrooms when they visit.

My darling husband surprises me with flowers weekly, either from his garden or from our local florist (he always asks for the freshest ones). So, as I arrange the flowers he gives me, I also use some of them to create a petite arrangement to place by his bedside. 

I like to use my heart-shaped cookie cutters all year to bake cookies for children and guests alike. They are perfect for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches too.

 While celebrating Valentine’s Day this year, think of ways to keep the spirit going all year long for your loved ones. What will you do?! 

Xx from Berlin, Germany

Holly

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Honoring your "guest of honor!"

When honoring the “guest of honor,” it is a lovely gesture to have a decorative element, either as ornamentation on the dining room table or as some aspect of the event, to complement your guest. Even something as subtle as a favorite variety of flowers, or the cuisine you know the “guest of honor” adores, will make them feel regaled. 

One of the most resplendent, private dinner parties I have attended was hosted by dear friends in honor of Baron Roberts of Belgravia. Andrew Roberts is an award-winning British historian and the exceptionally notable biographer of Napoleon and Winston Churchill. The elegant evening was divine, but the dessert was sans pareil.  Lord Robert's latest tome, King George III, The Last King of America, was superbly and realistically re-created in… chocolate! One lifted the book's cover to discover there was a colorful, epicurean dessert inside.  Truly a stunning gourmet creation, one that all the guests will remember fondly, especially the “guest of honor!”

I offered my pink fountain pen, with it’s pink ink, to Andrew to inscribe his book. He said, “That’s a first, signing in pink ink!” Then, I read what he wrote! A gift book was given to each couple by the hosts. 

We hosted a birthday dinner in honor of a dear friend, Tita. We both lived in Taiwan once when we were young. Tita holds a doctorate in Asian Art History, taught at Yale University and Trinity College, and sits on several museum boards.  Can you guess what theme inspired me for the evening? A Chinese theme! We informed the guests in advance, and they surprised us by wearing Asian-themed attire, which added to the festive atmosphere of joviality. 

With an appreciation for antique Asian porcelain and art, Stuart and I have collected various Chinese pieces, some of which I inherited from my parents. I enjoy the thrill of the hunt as I shop around various rooms at Fox Hall to see what I can find to enhance a dinner party theme. When I discovered a box filled with Mummy's (unused) crystal perfume bottles with pagoda-carved tops, I decided to use them as soy sauce holders! I placed them intermittently between guests’ plates. Repurpose what you have, or begin to collect with the idea of repurposing. 

This was a birthday dinner for a dear friend, Melinda Sullivan, whose house was featured on my television series “You Are Cordially Invited.” She owns the largest privately-owned collection of Du Paquier porcelain, and commissioned three stunning reference books written by the top porcelain experts in the world. She created the “Connecticut a la Carte Cookbook” for the Junior League of Hartford. Together, all four books came together, along with her love of King Charles Spaniels, to create a centerpiece in her honor.

Xx

Holly

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Holly’s “Secret” Lemon Chess Pie Recipe

For those occasions when impromptu guests arrive or you spontaneously invite friends over for lunch or dinner and need a quick dessert, I have the perfect recipe.  It is one that both men and women savor, and you will most likely have all the ingredients on hand.  So, what is my tried-and-true “SECRET” pie recipe? A Lemon Chess Pie!  It is one that you can whip up easily, especially if you have a pre-made pie crust, along with two lemons. You will likely already have the other ingredients in your kitchen: butter, eggs, and sugar.

The Lemon Chess Pie has a long heritage in England. It is similar to the English curd pie, dating back to the 1600s. It was adopted here, in New England and Virginia.  A version of the recipe was even in Martha Washington’s cookbook.  As a young bride in Richmond, I was given the recipe by a bridesmaid, who copied it from her old Virginia family’s recipe repertoire. I have made it ever since and added my “secret” touch: the grated lemon rind!  

Why is it called “chess?” One reference is that, before refrigerators, it was stored in a pie “chest”… which sounds like “chess.” Another theory is that long ago when a lady was asked what kind of pie she made, the response was: “it’s jes’ pie,” with a southern accent, and “jes” sounds like chess.  Whatever the derivation, it is “jes’ yummy!”   

Holly’s “Secret” Lemon Chess Pie Recipe

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees

• 1 pie shell, unbaked  NOTE: I use Pillsbury pie crusts. Two come rolled up in a red box and are found in the refrigerated (not frozen) section of the grocery store.

• 3 eggs

• 1 stick butter (I use salted butter)

• 1 ½ cups sugar ( use superfine sugar  if you have it!) 

• 2 lemons (the juice and, my secret: the finely grated rind from both lemons)

Cream together the butter and sugar.

Add the eggs, one at a time, and mix well.

Add in the lemon juice and grated rind to the above.

Pour into the unbaked pie shell.

Bake at 350 degrees for approximately 35 minutes. 

It will be lightly browned. You want it firm enough that it barely wiggles in the center when shaken. Serve warm or cold! 

A few more secrets:

~I like to press fork tines along the edge of the store-bought pie crust, creating that “homemade” look.

~This pie may be made a few days ahead and stored in the refrigerator. 

~If you have time and the ingredients, add a dollop of whipped cream, mint leaves, and a few raspberries for color. 

~It is rich with flavor (because of the butter and the lemon rind), so you can make the slices even smaller if necessary to serve more people. 

I hope y’all enjoy serving this pie as much as I have through the years!  Shhh, now remember,  it’s a secret recipe!

Xx

Holly

Scalamandre and Stubbs!

The Palm Beach flagship Stubbs and Wootton Store is a “candy store” filled with colorful and cleverly designed slipper shoes.  

As an interior designer, I have been an enthusiastic advocate of The House of Scalamandre and have specified their fabrics and trims since I started my business in 1989.  Their documentary and reproduction fabrics have historical significance, along with their superb silks and trims. The products they offer are extraordinarily divine and can become addictive for anyone that appreciates fine design. 

At The House of Scalamandre Showroom, D&D, NYC, I am holding the classic Tigre velvet in pink! 

It was an honor and a thrill to be invited as a guest speaker at the D&D, NYC, for Design Week.  Following that event, I gave another talk in the stunning Scalamandre showroom, where they graciously hosted a “Pink” themed book signing party. The cherry on top for that day? They presented me with the perfect pink gift: a classic pair of Stubbs and Wootton linen slippers with an embroidered design featuring The House of Scalamandre’s iconic “Zebra” pattern. The whimsical Zebra pattern was originally designed as wallpaper for Gino’s restaurant in the 1940’s, with a delightful history. The pretty shoes were a wee bit too small, so another pair was quickly ordered for me.
 

Do you know about Stubbs and Wootton? 

These darling pink “Stubbies” feature the notable Clock Tower, which is located at the end of Worth Avenue on the ocean in Palm Beach. 

In Palm Beach, near the Everglades Club on Worth Avenue, is the quintessential shoe store, Stubbs and Wootton.  Lovingly referred to as “Stubbies,”  these slippers have been collected and worn worldwide by a stunning lineage of devotees ever since the brand was launched in Palm Beach in 1993. Gentlemen wear their linen, needlepoint, and corduroy styles, sockless, to social functions, while the velvet designs are de rigueur for Black tie events. And ladies wear them casually.  It is always a delight to be greeted by Nicolo in their flagship store. I was overjoyed to receive the Scalamandre gift pair and made a little Instagram video!

The collaboration between Scalamandre and Stubbs and Wootton is a perfect convergence, a “marriage made in heaven!” Scalamandre's various fabric designs translate well into the embroidery designs that embellish several of Stubbs's shoes. 

Thank you, Scalamandre, for my pretty pink zebra shoes… they are happily at home here in Palm Beach! 

Xx 

Holly

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Giving a gift... that keeps on giving!

The Duchess’s sitting room, in the Private Apartments at Blenheim Palace in Woodstock, England, is a glorious butter-yellow color. While filming my television program there, I admired the magnificent bridal photograph and frame of Lady Henrietta Spencer-Churchill on the table behind me, along with her other relatives in lovely keepsake frames.

The best gift that “keeps on giving” is the act of LOVE. But, for tangible gifts, the ones that continue to serve the recipient with a meaningful memory or to mark an accomplishment, there are a few options, and I am delighted to share some of my favorites!

A silver or polished pewter picture frame engraved with a meaningful date, personalized initials, or monogram, is a gift that can be used anywhere, for any photograph, forever.

The same is applicable for a silver tray or bowl. The tray can be used to serve hors d’oeuvres, hold a perspiring champagne bucket, place wine glasses upon, or even place under a floral arrangement for added reflection. A bowl is perfect for holding nuts, dips, jewelry and earrings, and endless things. My daughter was given a silver tray with the wording of her wedding invitation engraved on it. Thank you, Uncle Herb! This would be a cherished gift for any bride.

An attractive letter opener may enhance the experience of opening mundane bills, while also being a handsome accessory for a desk. They last forever, and one can always use more than one for such places as the kitchen, office, and bedroom desks.

Oh, and silver baby cups, given to our three children as Christening presents and at their birth, can also be used as a darling vessel for petite flower arrangements in a powder room, on a bedside, or on a drinks table in the living room.
 

Living gifts, such as a plant (rose bush, boxwood, topiary) or tree (cherry blossom, dogwood) can also serve as a “growing tribute” for years to come, and can also mark the life of someone dear. 

And finally, my other idea for a “gift that keeps on giving,” (especially for those graduating, just entering the business world, or for grandchildren) is an online etiquette course. I would like to personally recommend two very dear and talented friends who offer online etiquette courses for a private lesson in your own home. They are exemplars in their field. We share the same view of gracious living and embrace the importance of manners. 

William Hansen, based in London, is the Executive Director and creator of The English Manner. He offers a stupendous array of online courses, from “Afternoon Tea” to “Hosting Clients in a Restaurant,” to "Business Protocol."  William’s British background is stellar. He is a Fellow of the Royal Society of the Arts, and his clever humor will keep you in stitches as you learn the correct protocol for so many important aspects of etiquette. I adore his book series too: The Bluffers Guides!

According to William Hansen, of The English Manner: “Another big mistake people make with afternoon tea is to cut the scones in two with a knife. Not only is this historically incorrect (all to do with cutlery etiquette from the Middle Ages), but by surgically cutting them in two, you remove the fluffiness from the sweet morsel. Break them in two with your hands. Freshly baked British scones (often different from the American equivalent) will have a natural seam in the middle, and it is from here you break them in half.”

Myka Meier, the Director, and Creator of Beaumont Etiquette, offers an online finishing course.  Topics such as “The Duchess Effect,” “The Teen Program,” and “Wine Basics” are very informative, and Myka is very engaging. Her book, Business Etiquette Made Easy, is also incorporated into her online courses. 

It was such a delight to have Myka Meier visit me in Palm Beach! 

All of the above gifts not only serve as a joyful reminder of a memorable occasion but also the thoughtful gift-giver too.

Xx 

Holly

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Napkin Etiquette for Private Dinner Parties

Pressed and starched napkins are a must.  I often use this fold because it is elegant, yet simple to execute! 

Napkins can be a secret signal in more ways than one! How you fold, place and use them has a language all its own, especially at a private dinner party.

The Duchess Fold, as displayed above at Woburn Abbey, is often used in grand homes, palaces, and castles throughout England, and is quite regal. It does require practice and a bit of finesse to fold it correctly… and it definitely requires a large, starched, dinner-size napkin!

While seated, wait for the hostess to remove her napkin first. Follow her lead and then, place yours on your lap, unfolding it below the table (no shaking it with a flourish!). The fold faces you. (If you are at a table of friends, without the presence of a hostess, or in a restaurant, then place the napkin on your lap right away.)

When there is a napkin ring, remove it by pulling it toward you. Then, place it to the left of your place setting. (Traditionally, a napkin ring is used for family, houseguests, or for informal dinners.)

If you must excuse yourself, place your napkin on your chair (if it is an upholstered seat, be sure to have the soiled side facing up).  By doing so, you are discreetly not calling more attention that you have left the table. The other option, which I do not condone, is leaving it on the table to the left of the dinner plate. Who wants to look at your napkin?! 

At a private dinner party, wait for the hostess/host to determine when dinner is over. What does one appropriately do with their napkin, then? I will let you in on a little secret! Here is the old-school signal to your hostess that you know the proper way to leave your napkin after dinner: Fold your napkin similarly to how and where it was placed when you arrived at the table (unless it is a rather challenging fold, i.e., The Duchess Fold). The easy and proper method is to simply fold your napkin into a rectangle, and place it to the left, where the forks were originally placed.  Most guests just plop their napkins to the left or in the middle of their place, without folding them. Truth be known, a seasoned hostess will know which guests know this old-school signal, and smile as they acknowledge their adeptness and polish when they view the empty table after the guests have departed!

At the Salvation Army’s Paradise Ball, their 100th centennial, I had a few napkin fold options presented to me to choose from as the Chair.  I was tickled pink with this unique fold which was created with white, starched, dinner napkins. I was very grateful to the dedicated team of employees that sat together for hours folding 450 napkins the same afternoon as the Ball. This exclusive fold complemented the formality of a White-tie ball. Photo credit: Capehart Photography, Palm Beach

If you are at a restaurant, not a private house, it is appropriate to leave your napkin in a casual-loose semi-fold. Leaving a balled-up napkin pile on the table is not appropriate.  And, remember, for both private parties and restaurant dining, slide your chair back under the table when leaving. 

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-No: To place a fork ON TOP of a napkin. The only exception to this rule is if you are dining outside, with the possibility that wind would require you to weigh down the napkin, and a fork would help to keep it from blowing away.

No-No: Wiping your entire mouth with a napkin.

What is done: Lightly dab the corners of your mouth, using the inside of the napkin, so that any marks are not visible on the outside. Ladies, try your best not to get lipstick on the linen napkin as a courtesy to the hostess.

No-no: To place a napkin standing up inside a wine glass! 

If you are at a restaurant, not a private house, it is appropriate to leave your napkin in a casual-loose semi-fold. Leaving a balled-up napkin pile on the table is not appropriate. And, remember, for both private parties and restaurant dining, slide your chair back under the table when leaving. 

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-No: To place a fork ON TOP of a napkin. The only exception to this rule is if you are dining outside, with the possibility that wind would require you to weigh down the napkin, and a fork would help to keep it from blowing away.

No-No: Wiping your entire mouth with a napkin.

What is done: Lightly dab the corners of your mouth, using the inside of the napkin, so that any marks are not visible on the outside. Ladies, try your best not to get lipstick on the linen napkin as a courtesy to the hostess.

No-no: To place a napkin standing up inside a wine glass!

This simple but elegant napkin fold is often used at Buckingham Palace.  To me, white napkins on a white tablecloth represent the epitome of timeless refinement.

A Millennial Tip

Napkins come in various sizes. To narrow it down, a luncheon size is smaller than a larger dinner size. 

Older linens can be of exceptional size and quality. Splendid varieties of older linens are available at private sales and auctions. 

Napkins with elegant monogramming or family crests embroidered on them are my favorite.  White embroidery on a white napkin is the most formal.  Creating a monogram or embroidery design to complement the dining room color or design on the porcelain, or theme for a party, is always such fun! 

Xx 

Holly

P.S. Please be a dear and forward this letter on to someone you think may enjoy it too! 

To Clink or Not to Clink!

At “Le Clarence” in Paris, one of our favorite restaurants, I had just enough wine left in my glass to toast my darling Stuart for a splendid Thanksgiving dinner.

CHEERS and GOOD HEALTH and a HAPPY NEW YEAR to you!   

Perhaps you “clinked” your glass of champagne with others at a New Year’s Eve party to welcome in 2023, yes? What a joyous, celebratory sound when two crystal glasses “clink” together for a glorious occasion!

The tradition of touching or clinking glasses began eons ago. Why? There was a time when people were afraid that there may be poison in their glass. So, by clinking the other person’s glass, there was a chance that a portion of your liquid would spill into the other person’s glass. Clinking glasses was also a custom thought to ward away any evil spirits. Well, I am elated that our present-day glass “clinking” represents happiness and good wishes! 

A question recently posed to me was: Does one “clink” at a seated dinner party? My recommendation is to always take the lead from the host/hostess of the table.

We all relished the eloquent toast made by our dear host at a festive holiday dinner party he and his wife treated us to a few days before Christmas. Some raised their glasses, while others clinked… such fun! 

In some social circles, clinking is not practiced or condoned. At the beginning of the 20th century, clinking glasses began to be interpreted as a working-class tradition, and thus, was abandoned by those with more refined manners. When a toast is made in regal company, glasses are raised for a toast, but are never clinked. Seldom have I witnessed clinking at formal dinners in Europe, yet it happens here quite often in America. So my advice is to observe what your host does with their glass when they offer the first toast. 

Do we clink glasses at Fox Hall? Yes, we do.  For me, it is a sign of touching the ones I love in the spirit of celebration.

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: To drink to yourself when a toast is made to you. 

What is done: If a toast is made in your honor, do not take a drink until everyone else has, otherwise it would appear that you are applauding yourself. 

No-no: To not clink if someone extends their glass to you, making an effort to clink your glass. 

What is done: Clink their glass to avoid making the other person feel awkward. Manners are about being polite to others. 

No-no: To not raise your glass when a toast is being made.

What is done: Always raise your glass for a toast, whether it is full or empty.  I try to keep a little portion of libation in my glass at all times if I am at a large function and anticipate that a toast may be made. Wedding receptions are a prime example!

Grandmillennial Tips:

Ladies, try to keep your lipstick mark on your glass in one place to avoid a ring of lipstick marks around the rim of the glass. 

Hold a stemmed glass by the stem to keep the wine or champagne from being warmed by your hand.

Coasters, which are used to protect a wood surface from the condensation of a chilled, non-stemmed glass, are not needed for a stemmed glass.  Stemmed glasses may be placed directly on the table, whether it be a dining room table or any other table in your house. 

Happy New Year! Learn how to properly open a bottle of champagne here, from a previous newsletter. Cheers! Note: coasters or cocktail napkins are NOT needed (as pictured here) under stemmed glasses!

Thank you for your thoughtful questions and for inspiring others to subscribe to my newsletter. Do let me know of potential sponsors, those who can relate to my fabulously gracious, and very international audience. It is always a delight to welcome new sponsors and to witness the results they receive from my subscribers.

May 2023 bring joy, good health, and peace to you and your loved ones! And, do tell… what is your “clinking” tradition?

Xx 

Holly

P.S. Please be a dear and forward this letter on to someone you think may enjoy it too! 

Easy Holiday Recipe: Little Cheese Blintzes

Christmas is coming! Karen, Miss Charlotte, and I  made these little cinnamon cheese blintzes a week before our grandson, R. Stuart Holden, IV, was born... and we just celebrated his fourth birthday!  We will make some this week, freeze them, and bake them on Christmas morning.  They are a yummy nibble to enjoy as we open presents (and we are indeed up early with little grandchildren!) before Christmas breakfast is served.  Note: These complement a glass of Christmas champagne too!

You will need the following:
1 loaf of white bread (about 20 slices) with the crust removed
12 oz. softened cream cheese
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 egg yolk
Optional: 1/4 tsp. almond extract
1 1/3 sticks of softened butter
3/4 cup sugar mixed with 1/4 cup cinnamon

To-Do:
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
Flatten the bread until thin with a rolling pin.
Cream together the cream cheese, vanilla, and egg yolk (and almond extract if you choose).
Spread the cheese mixture onto the bread.
Roll the bread tightly and cut it into quarters.
Melt the butter.
Roll the bread pieces into the butter, followed by the sugar mixture.
Heat, covered, for 15 minutes, and uncovered for five more minutes.
Serve warm!
 

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!  I  wish you days filled with joy and happiness. 

Xx 

Holly

My Paradise Ball Recap!

As guests entered the Grand Ballroom, they were greeted with a spectacular candy table! It was kindly donated by one of my fellow Salvation Army Ambassadors, sweet Suzanne Mott Dansby, and created by her designer in Atlanta, Mr. Don Chestnut.  Photo source: CAPEHART PHOTOGRAPHY, Palm Beach.

The Paradise Ball was a grand and glorious tribute to the Salvation Army of Palm Beach County’s 100th anniversary, since 1922! The Salvation Army, located in 131 countries and in every zip code in America, marches to the drum of love, and their politics are that of kindness… both much needed in our world today. 

Having surprise elements at any party contributes to a festive and memorable experience for guests.  Our group of darling synchronized swimmers posed with their white parasols, in their retro pink suits and flowered caps, alongside the pool.  Halfway through the cocktail hour, they slipped into the pool for a stunning performance to classic Sinatra songs. The swimmers were the brilliant idea of Susan Cushing, an exceptional Slim Aaron’s style artist, and party planner extraordinaire.  We loved creating this event together, and now have a lifelong friendship from our efforts! 
Photo source: CAPEHART PHOTOGRAPHY, Palm Beach.

The stupendously elegant invitations from Dempsey & Carroll, NYC, were engraved and alluded to a stately evening ahead: the essence of old-world elegance.  “Mrs. Post’s Paradise Ball” was the title of the event. She purchased the property for her Palm Beach home in 1922, the same year the SA was founded in Palm Beach. Marjorie Merriweather Post was smiling from above as the guests at the Paradise Ball reveled in “old Palm Beach” graciousness.” Gentlemen in tails and ladies in glittering ballgowns contributed to the elegant, jubilant, and PINK atmosphere.  

Not many people know this tidbit, but Mrs. Post adored acknowledging her midwest background at her renowned lavish parties with… Square Dancing!  We invited the Jr. Committee to practice their do-si-do’s, courtesy of the Colony Hotel’s ballroom, with a professional “caller” prior to the Ball. So, at 9 pm, the caller invited them to the floor, and after two dances, they were happily joined by the other guests! This is a definite must-do again! SO MUCH FUN! 
Photo source: CAPEHART PHOTOGRAPHY, Palm Beach.

Photo source: CAPEHART PHOTOGRAPHY, Palm Beach.

Our goal was to dust off the image of the Salvation Army and also rejuvenate it with new energy.  Farley Rentschler was my Chair of the Jr. Committee and invited the creme de la creme of Palm Beach to be on her committee… and energized they were!  (Farley is in center with the colorful Marchesa gown, and my daughter-in-law Karen is behind her in red, along with my son, Stuart, on her right.)  Patrick Le Tourneau, a Jr. Committee member, kindly brought his vintage Rolls Royce and parked it at the end of the pool for added "Mrs. Post ambiance!" It’s just hard to see it there with so many on the committee! I am so proud of them all. 

How elated I was that my Honorary Chair, the Duchess of Rutland, Her Grace, Emma Manners, came over from Belvoir Castle, UK,  to attend and support me. Lady Henrietta Spencer-Churchill, my other Honorary Chair, could not make the event, but was there in spirit.  Photo source: CAPEHART PHOTOGRAPHY, Palm Beach.

I was so thrilled to be the Chair of this celebratory event; it was pure joy to work alongside an army of dedicated and inspired people. This was their first major Ball, so I am elated that over 450 people attended! Because of generous sponsors, donors, and guests, the costs for the entire event were underwritten.

Photo source: CAPEHART PHOTOGRAPHY, Palm Beach.

The most important person I have to thank, among many others, is my darling husband, Stuart.  He was my biggest cheerleader and sacrificed our time together for a year. Thank you, my love.  

Xx 

Holly

P.S.  I received many inquiries about my Ballgown. Maria Pucci of Gramercy Atelier, NYC, and I designed my ballgown together and I love it! And, the white kid opera-length gloves were a kind gift from Cornelia-James in London.

White-tie Dress Code for Ladies

The Paradise Ball also honors Mrs. Post, who purchased her home in Palm Beach in 1922, the same year as the Salvation Army of Palm Beach County was founded. A double centennial celebration! Her gracious entertaining and philanthropy was world renown. She is elegantly dressed in this portrait, perfect for a White-tie Ball.

It is finally happening! After months of planning, and the joyful execution of three pre-celebratory events, The Salvation Army of Palm Beach County’s 100th anniversary, Paradise Ball, will take place this weekend!

While I have already discussed White-tie attire for men in a previous newsletter, a few of your inquiries prompted me to cover these additional details for ladies.

White-tie dress code for ladies:

The appropriate dress is a floor-length gown. If you always wanted to wear a Cinderella ballgown, this is your moment. Ballgowns and floor-length gowns contribute to the gracious old-world elegance of a White-tie Ball. Cocktail attire, semi-formal dresses and pantsuits are not worn. Think White House State dinner, or a Buckingham Palace Royal State Dinner. 

Shoes: 

Heels with a closed toe are traditionally worn, and not an open-toed shoe. Glass slippers? Doubtful! What about Dorothy’s “click-your-heels-sequin-sparkly” shoes? Definitely! Glittering silver or gold is always festive!  The most classic shoe of all is covered in peau de soie (silk/satin weave fabric) and may be in any color to complement the gown. 

Gloves:

Gloves are not required but are considered de rigueur. If you do choose to wear opera-length gloves, a bracelet may be worn over one glove, not both. Rings are not worn over a glove- and I doubt they would fit anyway! Remember, one may drink with gloves on, but one does not eat with gloves on. When dining, both gloves are either removed, folded in half, and placed on one’s lap, or unbuttoned under the wrist so the hand portion of the glove is tucked up inside the glove. 

Jewelry:

A must! This is the perfect opportunity to sparkle! Drop earrings, diamonds, and pearls, or other gemstones chosen to complement your gown will enhance your overall glamorous aesthetic. Brooches are worn over your heart, on your left side. 

Tiaras:

Tiaras (preferably inherited from the family) are only worn by married women or a bride. While appropriate for a White-tie event, they are traditionally worn only when the invitation indicates “White-tie with Decorations.” Although protocol has become more relaxed in America, many opt to wear a tiara to a White-tie event regardless.  

Hair:

If your hair is long, it should be pulled back or swept up in an updo. (Your drop earrings will have an opportunity to be seen and shimmer!) 

Evening purse:

Elegantly small in size, and in silk, satin, kid leather, or one that is jewel-like (my preference!). What do I carry inside my purse?

A tiny silver purse pen, two personal calling cards, lipstick, a tiny comb, a tiny powder, a tiny perfume, a safety pin, mad money (a $20 bill), and if space allows, a little embroidered hanky. My phone and eyeglasses never seem to fit, so my husband Stuart gets that privilege… one that he would gladly relinquish! 

What an honor to Chair the Paradise Ball! It has been a dream to work alongside my stellar and supportive team. This is a charity I truly believe in. Located in 131 countries and every zip code in America, the Salvation Army can be counted upon to be there in support of disasters and so much more. Each day, this faith-based charity feeds over 25 million people, including providing more than 225 million meals total and nearly 10 million lodgings. And most importantly, more donated dollars go directly to those in need than to overhead, unlike many other notable charities. Case in point: The Paradise Ball was underwritten with generous sponsors and ticket sales… thanks to many of you!

When you see the red kettle- think pink! Come and get involved with me. I am looking forward it seeing many of you, my darling subscribers, at the Ball. 

Xx

Holly 

What makes a proper dinner guest?

Do you need to sing for your supper? Oh yes, indeed you do!

As a guest, you are being treated to dinner, and your host is going out of their way to entertain and nourish you with their gracious hospitality, food, and drink. A proper guest knows how to acknowledge and show gratitude by being engaging and conversational with the other guests, as well as polite and appreciative. It is up to you to contribute to the evening by being charming with your conversation and joviality, especially if you want to be invited back! Nothing is worse than a guest who expects to be entertained or is a bore.  

Protocol for a proper dinner guest:  

Respond to an invitation within 48 hours or sooner! This affirms how enthused you are to attend.

Hosts go to great lengths to choose an invitation for an event. When you open up a stunning invitation, remark on it.  It is music to the ears of the hosts to learn that a guest is pleased to have received the invitation.

If you have allergies, food dislikes, or are a vegan or vegetarian, let the hostess know in advance of the party. This is your obligation as a good guest.

When you bring a gift to a party, do not expect the hostess to open it then. 

If you bring a gift bottle of wine, do not expect or ask for it to be served. The host has already chosen the appropriate wines to complement the dinner.

If you are unsure what the dress code is, ask the host in advance.

Know when to leave! This is paramount. You may think that you are the life of the party, but do not assume that your hosts want you to stay until the wee hours. 

If you are the guest of honor, it is up to you to leave first and say your adieu, so the other guests may leave after you. Remember, if your hosts genuinely want you to stay longer, they will convince you to do so! 

As a guest, take a moment to show your gratitude. Dinner parties take considerable effort to execute, so be the first to put pen to paper and write a meaningful thank you note (not an email!) to the host. Remark on specific details and efforts which made the evening magical and memorable.

Forbidden Faux Pas:

No-no: Forgetting to R.s.v.p. in advance of the party date.

No-no: Bringing a guest without getting approval from the host well in advance.

No-no: Changing your place card from where it was placed to a different spot on the table.

A host puts thought and consideration into how guests will be seated, even if it is a small gathering, so never be tempted to move your place card.

Grandmillennial Tip:

If you bring flowers to a dinner party, bring them in a vase so that the hostess does not have to leave her guests to arrange them. Having flowers delivered earlier in the day, or even the day before, is always a thoughtful gesture. If you do not know the color scheme of the host's house, send white flowers… a safe choice any time of the year!

XX 

Holly

Chargers: When NOT to use them!

For formal dinner parties, silver chargers are often used to enhance a festive dinner celebration at Fox Hall.

This is the week many of you will be setting a table for Thanksgiving! With that in mind, the topic of chargers came to mind. 

A “charger” is a plate that is more significant in diameter than a dinner plate. It is also referred to as a service plate or an underplate.  While chargers are used for decorative purposes these days, they were primarily used to protect the table from hot plates being placed directly on top of the table’s wood surface. They date back to the 15th century. Chargers vary in size from 11-14" in diameter.  

Food is never served on the actual charger. Instead, the dinner plate is placed on top of the charger.  Additional courses may be served on the charger too.  

Do you know when NOT to use a charger?  The dessert course!  A charger is permanently removed before the dessert course is served.

Chargers have become a popular decoration for dinner tables in recent decades and are made of various materials with endless color options. The most traditional style of charger is made of porcelain or silver. For formal dinner parties, I prefer silver because I think it complements the other silver accouterments on my table (candlesticks, wine coasters, flatware, serving pieces) and adds a hint of glamour. 

A charming “ladies' luncheon” was hosted in my honor as the Chair of the Paradise Ball for the Salvation Army in a very notable Palm Beach home. The hostess had a perfectly divine buffet arranged in the dining room, and as the guests entered the “party sunroom,” they were greeted by the pretty floral Herend serving plates at each place setting.

Chargers are often used to decorate the table for visual interest and then removed, as is often done in private clubs or restaurants. For example, at the Palm Beach Yacht Club, a handsome cobalt blue and gold charger featuring the Club insignia greets guests at the table. When a cocktail is ordered there, it is served on top of the charger. The charger is then removed before the guest's first course is served.

Chargers are rarely used in a proper English country house. My dear friend, the Executive Director of The English Manner, William Hanson, with his brilliant British sense of humor, summarizes the use of chargers: “They serve no practical use as you do not eat off one and are - frankly- a waste of money!"

At a White House dinner, a handsome gold-enhanced charger, created in honor of President Dwight Eisenhower, adds to the formality of the table.

Grandmillennial Tips:

I like to think of ways to repurpose silver.  My service plates (chargers) are occasionally placed underneath flower arrangements.  It not only collects the fallen pollen but also serves to enhance, reflect and frame the arrangement!

Pretty porcelain chargers may also be used as unique artwork by using plate hangers to create a design on a wall.

Consider using a charger to serve hors d'oeuvres. They are the perfect size for small gatherings.

A charger can also be used to enhance your flower arrangement!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!  I am ever so grateful for your worldwide support and subscribership. You will be counted in my blessings. Gobble gobble! 

XX 

Holly

Perfect Punch: The “Secret” Holden Party Punch!”

What fun we had creating a video about Holden Punch! My darling daughter-in-law, Karen, convinced me to share the secret recipe with you.

It is that time of year again! The Holidays are coming. So, why not serve a festive punch?  Your guests will be pleased… as punch!  

My secret “Holden Punch” has become a traditional libation that our guests have now come to expect at Fox Hall and Fox Worth… and they are rawwwther disappointed if it does not greet them! In addition to having a bar, I find it easy to offer a punch versus a signature cocktail because the punch is prepared in advance, and voila, guests can also help themselves! 

Where did “punch” initially come from? British sailors brought it back to Europe from their travels to the colonies in India during the 16th century. Nutmeg was the most valuable product imported from there, and it was also the spice used in punch.  Because of that, punch became fashionable for aristocrats and the elite in Europe, and eventually in America too. In 1655, Jamaican rum became quite popular when brought back from the West Indies, and because of this, rum punch became favored in the Western World.

The word punch may have come from the Hindu word “panch,” meaning “five” and translates to the five ingredients found in most punches: sweet, sour, spice, alcohol, and water. This is certainly applicable to Holden Punch! 

At Fox Hall, Holden Punch is presented in a large, silver Revere bowl on a silver platter, along with a punch ladle. A floating ice ring with sliced lemons, limes, cherries, and even holly leaves dresses it up with a pretty garnish on top.

My ice ring, released from the mold, is ready to be placed on top of the punch before serving.

A traditional punch cup is just too small and dainty for my party guests, so I use my own rendition of a punch cup: crystal brandy snifters! When placed around the punch bowl, they add a festive sparkle! 

My punch bowl is placed at one end of the dining room table for large cocktail parties or on the sideboard for smaller gatherings.  Back by popular demand, here is my recipe!

The “secret” recipe for Holden Punch:

4 cups light rum (can also be dark!)

2 cups of brandy (your choice!) 

2 cups lemon juice- use “ReaLemon” in a bottle (even better, freshly squeezed lemon juice) 

1 cup sugar

½ cup peach brandy (or a scant more!)

⅛ teaspoon nutmeg (for tradition) 

Mix the above before the party in a mixing bowl or pitcher. 

When ready to serve, pour the mixture into a punch bowl and stir in 5 lbs of ice! Add the ice ring as a garnish and serve with a ladle. 

Add more ice as needed.

Note: This is half of the recipe. It makes enough for 35 people- double it, and it's enough for 70!  It is very similar to Fish House Punch. 

Grandmillennial Tips:

A glass, porcelain, or silver bowl can be used.  Another option is to serve the punch from a pitcher… easy! 

If you don’t have brandy snifters, use “old-fashioned cocktail” glasses. 

Make an ice ring in a round or crescent-shaped gelatin mold. I first line the mold with Saran Wrap because it makes the ice ring, once frozen, easy to remove! Then, for color, sprinkle slices of lemons, limes, cherries, raspberries, strawberries, or oranges in the mold, cover with water, and freeze. 

Holden Punch is indeed alcoholic and only for adults. For children, I serve sparkling cider, which can be served in a punch bowl too, or simply served in a pretty glass along with a cherry or two, as a special drink. 

Punch is also a festive libation to serve at ladies’ showers, club meetings, and even for an evening book club. It definitely contributes to a JOLLY atmosphere! 

Cheers! And, Happy Thanksgiving wishes to all of you! 

xx Holly

Soft Lighting: A secret to elegant entertaining!

The hall chandelier, along with five other large fixtures, were all candle-lit when my family and I moved into Fox Hall twenty years ago. Lighting the forty-seven candles necessary to entertain in the evening was a bit daunting, so over time, we replaced them with electrified chandeliers!

Soft lighting is an essential aspect of entertaining because it enhances your guests’ visual experience by creating a dreamy, mystical, and almost magical ambiance to interiors. Candlelight and soft dimmed light impart an enchanting mood that your guests will experience in the evening. The artwork, food, and decorative details suddenly transform from the expected normal bright daylight (which creates harsh shadows) into a more captivating and romantic encounter. Everything and everyone looks more attractive with soft, diffused lighting!

When renovating or building a house, remember that you can never have too many dimmers installed. Use them to your advantage! For lamps, install forty to sixty-watt soft light bulbs in lamps, or have a three-way switch to lower the bulb's light. Soft pink bulbs in lamps offer exceptional light to anyone seated nearby- an entertaining secret that ladies adore!

At dusk, my chandelier lights are a wee bit brighter than when it becomes dark. Once it is dark outside, I make a concerted effort to dim overhead lights more than you would expect because it immediately transforms a room and the guests within... in a very positive way! A key part of entertaining is making the effort to ensure that your guests are comfortable.

I will never forget the majestic evening when Stuart and I dined at Buckingham Palace in the Picture Gallery for the 75th anniversary of The Animal Health Trust. Princess Anne was the patron. The only light present at this intimate dinner was the picture lights gracing the momentous artwork hung upon the coral, silk damask upholstered walls, and a few softly lit wall sconces with silk shades... magical!

xx Holly

Charming Centerpieces!

Saddle up! I hosted an impromptu “debut-dinner party” to celebrate my new line of porcelain, the Equestrian Collection, with a few dear friends and chose a few equine decorative accessories to complement the place setting. (Ever wonder why some horses have a red bow tied on their tail? The red bow serves as a visual warning to other riders: Watch out… he is a “kicker!”)

Setting a table and choosing a unique centerpiece is similar to choosing the right invitation design: it sets the scene for a memorable party. Sometimes, I stop and look at a particular piece in Fox Hall or Palm Beach, which will then spark an idea for a theme for a dinner party. A sculpture, a piece of porcelain, or a unique decorative accessory, and I’m off to the races! 

The centerpiece is the focal point on a dining room table.  Flowers certainly are a traditional choice, but it can be rewarding to think out of the box to decorate your table with one pretty piece or several unique objects from around your house. The table can become a miniature stage; let your creativity soar. I am such an advocate for “repurposing” beautiful objects that you already own!  

When you collect art that speaks to your heart, your pieces tell a story and reflect your passions and hobbies, a justifiable reason to collect goodies that you enjoy seeing and using daily. (Horses and foxes come to mind!)  Almost anything is fair game to set the scene on your table, as long as it does not block the view of your seated guests.

Unlike a floral centerpiece, a silver sculpture is a stunningly timeless decorative element that will last forever!

Create a centerpiece that complements the guest of honor, the theme of the celebration, and the room design. The plates you choose should harmonize with the centerpiece. For the Equestrian Collection, I was inspired to use a horse sculpture, antique Staffordshire “huntsman” place card holders, and silver mint julep cups filled with roses. If I had enough of Tootsie Roll’s snaffle bits, I would have used them too!

Speaking of snaffle bits, forgive my unbridled enthusiasm! I am beyond excited about how well-received the Equestrian Collection has been. Thank you for your splendid orders. Please share this link with others to order today!
 

The Equestrian Collection: a premium porcelain five-piece place setting elegant in design with a modern flair suited to dress the table of every Equestrian Aficionado.  Life is a gallop and a dash!
 

Xx

Holly 

White tie Dress Code for Gentlemen

Photo credit: @bespokennotbroke

There is something magical about attending a White tie Ball!  An elegant, festive aura surrounds a ballroom when graced with ladies in sumptuous long gowns, sparkling with jewelry and handsome gentlemen, dapper in tails; an image that reflects a gracious, romantically genteel time. 

With the upcoming “Paradise Ball” celebrating the Salvation Army of Palm Beach County’s centennial, several young gentlemen have contacted me and inquired about the correct aspects required for a White tie dress code. Here we go!

A White tie dress code has been the most traditional “formal” attire since the 1800’s. It is also cited as “full evening dress” and informally referred to as “tails.”  

Our son, Stuart III, in White tie, escorted our daughter, Caroline, when she was presented at The Infirmary Ball in NYC in December 2002.

A proper White tie ensemble includes the following:

• A black tailcoat (with tails) and matching trousers

• A waistcoat (vest) in white cotton pique

• A white shirt with a white pique bib front

• White suspenders

• Studs with matching cufflinks

• A white pique hand-tied bow tie

• Black silk over-the-calf socks

• Black shiny patent leather pumps

Optional accessories: white kid-leather gloves, a white evening scarf in silk or cashmere, a gold pocket watch, or a black top hat.  (The “Putting on the Ritz” cane? Leave that behind!)

A fond memory: Stuart and I before meeting Prince Edward at a White tie ball in London at St James Palace, twenty-five years ago. White tie dress code has not changed since the 1800's…talk about timeless attire!

A black tailcoat features a pair of tails reaching the back of a gentleman’s knees. The black trousers, in the same fabric, have either a double or single stripe of satin or grosgrain ribbon along the two outseams of each pant leg. 

 The trousers do not require a belt, so they must fit well and have a higher cut at the waist so that the waistcoat (vest) will cover the waistband of the trousers. White suspenders hold up the trousers.

A proper waistcoat (vest) in white pique fabric (aka Marcella in the UK) is similar to a vest. It is backless and has a U-shape or V-shape opening in the front.  A single-breasted waistcoat is closed with 2-3 buttons, while a double-breasted one has four buttons.  The buttons may be covered in white pique fabric, made of mother-of-pearl, or with custom studs.  It has an adjustable neck strap to raise or lower the length of the waistcoat as needed.  The white waistcoat should be longer or NOT peek out under the black tailcoat. Well-made waistcoats may offer a loop that attaches to the waistband of the trousers so that the waistcoat will not raise, exposing the trouser waistband. 

The White tie winged dress shirt is different from the Black tie dress shirt, even though both are white.  The White tie dress shirt has a distinctive, inset “bib-like” front. (The Black tie shirt has pleats in the front.)  The shirt may have a detachable, wing-tip collar with buttons to attach it to the shirt. Some shirts offer a loop in the back of the collar to hold the bow tie in place.  The shirt cuffs require cufflinks to match the button studs in the front of the shirt. Traditionally, a  ¼” of the white cuff peeks out from under the tailcoat sleeves. 

The bow tie is the same white cotton pique fabric as the waistcoat. To be noted, the bow tie must be hand-tied, not “pre-tied.”  The butterfly bow tie has a curved shape to the bow. The other option is the batwing bow tie, which is straight, not curved. (I prefer the butterfly shape.) 

While “no socks” are the chic norm in Palm Beach, for a White tie event, black silk (or a silk/wool blend) over-the-calf socks are a must.

Proper shoes are shiny black patent leather pumps, preferably with a grosgrain bow, also called opera pumps or court shoes. The second option is lace-up black patent leather dress shoes. (Not my preference.) 

In place of a white pocket square, a white boutonniere may be pinned over the pocket on the tailcoat, but not both. (A white gardenia boutonniere continues to be my traditional favorite.)

If an invitation indicates “White tie with Decorations,” another level of formality is expected, with honorary medals, sashes, and neck badges worn by the recipient that received/earned them. I will discuss the protocol for this at another time. Decorations are not worn to a White tie event unless specifically indicated on the invitation. 

 No-no’s to know!

No-no: To wear a pre-tied bow tie.  

The white pique bow tie should always be hand-tied. (When in doubt, practice tying a bow tie around your leg. It is similar to tying a shoelace!) 

No-no: To wear a belt.

One does not wear a belt with evening wear. 

No-no: To mix and match any part of Black tie attire, suit attire, or a white dinner jacket, with a White tie ensemble.

My darling daughter, Alexandra, on her wedding night, with her husband, Maximilian. They are listening to a joyful toast being made to them at their White tie reception in Berlin, Germany.

To be noted, at The Paradise Ball, Black tie may be worn in lieu of White tie.

If you do not own a White tie ensemble and wish to rent one in Palm Beach, The Tux Shop Palm Beach is kindly offering a discount for a White tie outfit if you mention “Salvation Army- Paradise Ball!”  Located at 4550 PGA Boulevard, Palm Beach Gardens, FL.  (561) 626-8899

To purchase Paradise Ball tickets click here! 

Ready to dance the night away, gentlemen?

Xx

Holly