Dining Al Fresco!

At Fox Hall as the sun was setting and the candles added their magic touch!

Ala von Auersperg and Dining Al Fresco! 

Have you ever wondered what to wear to a particular function, then get there and wish you had worn something else? How comforting it is to discover a clothing line that can be worn to a multitude of functions!

How lovely it was to be invited to wear one of Ala von Auersperg’s colorful creations and be part of her “At Home with the Women of AvA,” which was an article celebrating entertaining al fresco! Ala paints her own designs, which are then magically transformed into flowing fabrics that adorn her fashionable clothing line. Her goal is to create clothes that are “effortless, yet elegant and versatile, and can be glamorous, no matter the size or the age of the lady wearing them!” That solves the question of what to wear!  

I chose the Mary Short Kaftan in the print Jaipur to wear to a summer dinner party on our verandah at Fox Hall. It had just the right amount of hot pink accents and movement in the sleeves that reminded me of a summer breeze... or a very large butterfly!  

My new Ala von Auersperg dress was a joy to wear for our al fresco dining! 

Here are my answers to the questions posed to me for the AvA article about dining al fresco:

Favorite things about dining al fresco? 

Dining al fresco adds such a charming dimension that only nature can provide one’s senses: sight, sound, and the lovely fragrance of the garden!

Something you like to do to create ambiance?

My husband and I enhance nature’s gifts at Fox Hall (c.1803) with the sound of two fountains: one on the brick terrace and one as the focal point at the opposite end of the yard from the verandah. That is our form of music! The experience of dining outside is made so much lovelier with the sound of the water, serving as a quietly elegant backdrop, along with the sun setting, and later, the stars sparkling above. 

Favorite location for entertaining al fresco? 

My family used to have drinks on the verandah, and then dinner down below on the brick terrace next to the historic “Alexandre” marble fountain. But, since our family has grown in size, we now have a table on the verandah which seats ten. This is where we serve dinner most often. There is something quite beautiful, and almost transportive experience when surrounded by 40’ white columns. My heart is filled with gratitude for the honor of being the stewards of this historic house. I wish I had a crystal ball so that I could see the other dinners that were enjoyed on the same verandah on warm summer evenings over the past two hundred and twenty years! 

Colors that you always gravitate towards for a Summer table? 

I adore wearing my signature color pink, which also translates to implementing a pink and green color scheme when I set an outdoor table! My darling husband, Stuart, has designed our gardens and urns to feature pink and white flowers so that cutting them for the arrangements on the table is a snap. Miraculously, the flowers always seem to match my table design!

A drink you like to have before entertaining? A drink you love to serve? 

 Stuart and I enjoy wine! We love to start a celebratory evening with champagne. My favorite is Cristal Cuvee by Louis Roederer. For casual evenings, a chilled bottle of Rombauer Chardonnay to start, and on to a red French Bordeaux wine which my husband chooses to complement the dinner. 

Signature style to your table settings? 

For ambiance, one can never have too many white votive candles, which I place in cut crystal glasses for sparkle, along with my Mummy’s tall, silver candlesticks that are crowned with glass hurricanes. This helps the candle from being blown out by soft summer breezes. 

One topic that I have discussed before, in a previous MMM newsletter, is the elegant use and placement of linen napkins. I adore large, well-starched dinner-sized, monogrammed napkins… many of which I inherited from Mummy. 

I also enjoy shopping around the house for various decorative porcelain pieces to either complement the guest of honor, or the flowers that grace the table. From pairs of Herend bunnies to antique Foo dogs, Meissen parakeets, silver foxes, or a medley of Limoges boxes, I savor the creative aspect of designing a table that is uniquely clever. I have even used Beatrix Potter figurines at every place setting, each one representing the personality of a guest. I asked the guests to figure out who they were and to choose their own figurine. Voila, that is where they were seated! It always makes for some lively conversation to commence the party! 

A question that I ask myself the day of the event: Is it worth the extra work? 

I do have to admit that dining outside is more work than hosting a dinner party inside... that is for sure! From setting up a table in the atmospheric venue of choice to bringing all the table-setting accouterments outside, transporting the food to the setting, dealing with weather elements, attempting to have a bug free dining experience, and choosing the right candle holders so that the flames will not blow out… all of which begs the question, is it worth the extra work? Inevitably, while I am dining al fresco, engaged in jolly laughter, seeing the happy candlelit faces around the table with the stars sparkling above, and savoring the sound of wine being poured, my answer is yes indeed, it is worth the extra effort to entertain outside! 

I love to create a table and an evening that sings to everyone the joy that I feel in their company. Friends are gifts that we give ourselves. Now, during Covid quarantine times, this rings even more true and sweeter than ever! 

P.S.  Would you be so kind as to share this newsletter with a friend or two, and encourage them to sign up? If you are inspired to read my new book, Pearls of Palm Beach, it is available on Amazon. There are also signed copies at Scully & Scully in NYC. 

WELCOME, NEW SPONSOR! 

If you are on a search to find the perfect piece to complete a room or discover a diamond in the rough, take a peek at Kofski Antiques in Palm Beach, along with their Estate Sales On-Line division. They have been in business for over eighty years, achieving great success as a leader in antique and estate sales. It is easy to shop virtually if you cannot get to Palm Beach and they ship anywhere!

Behind-the-scenes: Pearls of Palm Beach, Chapters 5-8

The Chinese porcelain is right at home in front of the Chinese mural painted in The John Volk House, Chapter 5. 

Behind-the-scenes: Pearls of Palm Beach, Chapters 5-8!

How effortless it is to fall under the enchanting spell of Palm Beach! To me, there is something magical about the tall, manicured hedges that conceal many of the houses. You just know there is a treasure hidden behind them. I wanted my book, Pearls of Palm Beach, to feel like a private invitation into eight timeless and tailored houses… which indeed it is! As a designer, I find that I can read the personality, interests, and background of a homeowner just by seeing a few interior design details. I knew the houses I chose would introduce and reflect stunningly accomplished people who cherish their families and know how to entertain with polished finesse. To me, these houses are eminently inviting and mesmerizingly memorable!

Here is a little peek at the behind-the-scenes for the last four chapters in my book:

Chapter Five, John Volk House:

Cassandra, a dear family friend, extended a kind invitation to brunch for my family and guests that were in Palm Beach attending my son’s wedding. This is when and where I became inspired to write the book! 

Cassandra instinctively knows how to restore and renovate historic properties while honoring their intrinsic charm and smart decorative appointments. This is especially true with her John Volk house. John Volk was a talented architect who came from New York to Palm Beach in the 1920s and is noted for his Bermudian as well as Georgian-revival style. The loggia walls were adorned with a bespoke shell crown moulding, which captivated me at that brunch. I asked Cassandra if I could photograph the shells… which then commenced the creation of my book!

My husband Stuart and I had the privilege of staying in one of Cassandra’s Nantucket houses for a week one summer. Painted on the dining room walls of her in town house, she commissioned a mural of the Hongs along the Pearl River in Canton, China in blues and golds, complementing the historic aspect of the house. In the dining room in Palm Beach, she had an artist use soft, muted colors for the bespoke trompe l'oeil mural of the Yangtze River, where she had just traveled, blending the muted colors within the house together like spices in a gourmet delicacy.

Lesson:

When you travel, think about bringing back the visions that inspire you. Recreate them in some form in your house. This is a delightful way to encapsulate your experiences.

I adore the handsome dining room in The John Volk House. If you look closely, you will spy the bespoke shell crown moulding in the distant green loggia.

Chapter Six, La Maison Jolie!:

A private invitation is to be cherished, and upon entering the former 18th Prime Minister of Canada, Brian Mulroney’s, charming Palm Beach abode, I just knew I was in for a treat. I relished the idea of sharing the experience with the readers of my forthcoming book! 

The facade of the house greeted me with a sunny yellow paint color, along with a traditional french blue accent color on the doors and shutters. The moment that I met Mila Mulroney, Brian’s wife, I immediately felt her genuine warmth and charm. They also had their darling and very polite grandchildren visiting, who were page boys and a bridesmaid in the royal wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle!  

Mila has a gift for color, design, and fashion… and it shows. Upon entering the house, I instantly absorbed the comforting feeling of family and friendship. The predominant colors throughout the entire house were just yellow and blue, along with occasional touches of red. I felt as if I was in a Claude Monet painting: a field of scattered red poppies with a bright blue sky and the sunshine above! There was a lengthy sliding glass door in the dining room. It was wide open, exposing the terrace pool, as we photographed. Talk about bringing the outside in. It was a most glorious sight! Seriously decadent for a northerner visiting during winter! 

Lesson: 

Consider designing interior and exterior spaces using just two colors, and sprinkle in a complementary color as an accent. This technique translates especially well in smaller-scaled houses, where the thread of two colors knows no boundaries.

Such an attractive display of blue and white porcelain with yellow walls, and a pop of red, in chapter 6, La Maison Jolie! 

Chapter Seven, Lake House:

When I first met Kit Pannill in Palm Beach, I instinctively knew she was from Richmond by her Virginian accent. Yes, indeed, we found out that we attended the same girls’ school! Lake House is the second John Volk designed house in my book, and this one sits splendidly on a property overlooking Lake Worth.  

Kit’s late husband, Bill, was world-renowned for his daffodil hybridization, with over 200 varieties registered. And Kit is an extremely accomplished orchid, horticultural judge for the Garden Club of America. She designed the most magnificent orchid “slat house” on the island, and worked alongside Leta Austin Foster, the noted Palm Beach designer, to decorate much of her house. I started to notice the faintest hint and reference to flowers in various aspects of the decorative details inside Lake House… but nothing too overt. It was such a treat to secretly search for these references in unexpected places, such as the carpet pattern, porcelain, artwork, and even the antique chair seat upholstery. It was similar to a “Where’s Waldo” experience, enhancing the interiors with a personal touch. 

Lesson:

 Whether you are passionate about collecting something, or you have a hobby that gives you pleasure, think about having an understated nod to the same subject matter within some of the decorative details in your house. These personal touches are what distinguish a house with your personality.
 

Look closely at the petite flowers in the design on the antique Baltimore chair upholstery in Chapter 7, Lake House. 

Chapter Eight, Pink House:

A pink Bermudian-style house, which overlooks the Atlantic Ocean… well, just pinch me! Mary created this inviting house, along with the assistance of Leta Austin Foster’s design talent. The handsome fanlight above the front door on this twenty-year-old house adds a sense of architectural permanence. 

Meeting Mary for the first time inside the spacious front hall, I felt like I had known her forever. She was off to a meeting at The Society of the Four Arts as the co-chair of the biennial gala.  She knows how to raise money by hosting stupendous events- she is a seasoned hostess. The soft pastel colors both inside and outside of the house appealed to me. Mary and I are both blondes, and naturally, are attracted to muted spring colors. Usually, the colors in your wardrobe, that you gravitate to and that make you feel pretty, are the colors that work well for your interior design. 

Mary has an extensive collection of Dodie Thayer cabbage-ware porcelain, which is SO Palm Beach! The collection added a marvelous pop of green color splendidly to the Gracie wallpaper gracing the dining room.

Lessons: 

Think about colors that you are naturally attracted to wear in your wardrobe, and use them for inspiration in your design scheme.

Collect a particular kind of porcelain that speaks to your heart, and build on the collection. It can travel to any room, or any house for that matter, and is an instant starting point when deciding on a decorative theme or color scheme for a room.

The Dodie Thayer collection of cabbage porcelain in The Pink House Chapter 8, confirms one is indeed in Palm Beach! 

P.S. If you enjoyed this newsletter, I do hope you will be inspired to read my new book, Pearls of Palm Beach. And, I would be most grateful if you would share this newsletter with a friend or two, and encourage them to sign up!

WELCOME, NEW SPONSOR! 

There is nothing like a mother/daughter duo! Jeanne and Christie, from the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia, share a passion for the history of classic vintage pieces, which they hand-select for their clients. Some of their silver pieces are my kind of go-to gifts for bridal showers and birthdays.

Behind-the-scenes: Pearls of Palm Beach, Chapters 1-4

Behind-the-scenes: Pearls of Palm Beach, Chapters 1-4!

The tall arrangement of Casa Blanca lilies in the center of the Brauer’s glorious dining room inside The English House was sheer perfection. The elegant reticulated silver tray underneath the base of the vase offers practical footing and adds a timeless touch.

Introducing my new book, Pearls of Palm Beach, has been such an honor and a brilliant experience; I am simply overjoyed at how well it has been received! Thank you all for your enthusiastic support and kind words. And, my appreciation is extended to NivenBreen PR in NYC, who has done a brilliant job with the official release of the book!

As promised on my Instagram posts, here are some behind-the-scenes stories in reference to the first four house chapters:

Chapter One, The English House:
Stuart and I were invited to a CEO.org private dinner party at Daniel Boulud in NYC. (Stay tuned, Chef Boulud has agreed to do a Q&A for an upcoming newsletter!) Seated to my left was Stephen F. Brauer, the former Ambassador to Belgium, along with his charming wife, Kimmy. Steve and I began to discuss our shared enthusiasm for attending and buying at auctions. We also spoke of the importance of furnishing a house that tells a story about the interests of the homeowner, which is exactly what encapsulates the Brauer’s homes. I reached out to them about photographing The English House, their residence in Palm Beach, which they kindly agreed to!

Upon entering the house, the fragrance of white Casa Blanca lilies and peach-colored Osiana roses greeted me in the most elegant way. The captivating fragrance was subtly intoxicating. Each room featured these two flowers, majestically arranged.  All of the vases were graced with a silver tray underneath, framing the arrangement.  Mummy taught me this technique too, as the silver tray creates an understated, faint reflection of the flowers and the vase, as well as good footing, and if large enough, a place to collect unwanted pollen.

Lessons:
Place a silver, or porcelain, tray underneath your floral arrangements. 
Arrangements featuring just one variety of flowers are elegant in their quiet simplicity.

Chapter Two, The Irish House:
The Brian P. Burns Collection of Irish Art is one of the most extensive private collections outside of Ireland. The art inside of The Irish House is stunning and is displayed upon colorful walls, as well as on other surfaces. Eileen has a keen eye for color, and her dining room table features flowers that enhance the table setting, along with an important Irish sculpture that echoes the art theme in the house. This is a wonderful idea to consider when setting a table! 

When I first met Eileen, I brought her a little cookbook, just published by my Garden Club of Hartford members, as a thank you.  A few nights later, when invited to dinner, I met her talented French chef who prepared a glorious sole almondine for us that evening. I thought to myself, how kind she was to accept my little gift so graciously because obviously, the chef did not need the cookbook. But, who knows, perhaps the chef may have enjoyed reading our tried-and-true homemade recipes!  

Lessons: 
Use a sculpture or something of interest as your dining table centerpiece. 
Accept gifts with genuine appreciation, even if you do not use them or need them.

Chapter Three, The Lucky House: 
A few years ago, while on a walk before attending a wedding at The Breakers in Palm Beach, I discovered a gem-box store: Lori Jayne. The window display of darling preppy embroidered pillows and elegant linens stopped me in my tracks. Lori and I became friends and she sweetly hosted a book signing party for my first book, The Pretty & Proper Living Room. She served her signature drink, the Bellini, which is also the name of her Malti-Poo! 

The Bellini was created by Giuseppe Cipriani, of the legendary Harry’s Bar in Venice, in 1948. And it was in the loggia of Hotel Cipriani where Lori and her husband Michael discovered the latticework walls, with mirrors behind them. They chose to replicate the design, but to use a chocolate brown color behind their handsome white lattice covered walls to complement the Brunschwig & Fils, La Portugaise chintz on the club chairs in their family room.
 
Lesson: 
When creating a room with crisp white latticework on the walls, have fun and use a unique background color to complement the color scheme!

An attractive room to serve drinks in at The Lucky House, which features a clever texture on the walls- latticework!

Chapter Four, The Preppy Condo
When I filmed my television episode with Lady Carnarvon at Highclere Castle, aka Downton Abbey, I was enamored with the bespoke carpet she had made for the well known library. Due to the tourist traffic in the castle, a new carpet had to be created, and Fiona had her initial F, along with her husband’s initial G, intertwined as a monogram and discreetly woven into one side of the border of the carpet. 

So, when I entered into the master bedroom of The Preppy Condo, I was enchanted to discover a charming white linen chair, which featured Karen and Brent’s monogram beautifully embroidered in a soft blue to complement their heavenly blue retreat. Sadly, dear Brent has since passed away, but this sweet chair remains a treasure for Karen.

Lesson:  
Think about monogramming something as a decorative detail in your house, other than just silver, a pillow or on linens.

P.S.  If you enjoyed this newsletter, I do hope you will be inspired to share it with one or two of your friends, so they too will sign up!  In Mummy’s words, “The more, the merrier!”

Announcing the Release of Pearls of Palm Beach

It Is Here!  Announcing the Release of My New Book "Holly Holden's Pearls of Palm Beach"
 

What a joyous moment to share with you! 

I am simply elated to introduce my second book, Pearls of Palm Beach: A secret peek into eight elegant, timeless & tailored houses!

A private invitation is to be cherished, right? Well, when you open this book, you are invited to take a rare peek into eight privately owned, refined Palm Beach houses… an invitation to be treasured!  

Like a classic string of pearls, you will experience the elegant essence of quiet understatement that radiates from each page and is revealed through the hundreds of photographs. These family houses are not overly done-up and glitzy, but are joyful, charming, and enchanting in their quiet sophistication. As you step foot into each front door, the inviting atmosphere will envelope you within the magical world that the homeowners have created. The interiors are timeless and tailored. You will discover the quintessential decorative “darling details,” that are the elements which contribute to the endearing aspects found in these traditional Palm Beach houses.

This book is a lesson for lovely living. Pearls of Palm Beach captures the delicious moments that make them such! Not only are these family homes, they also have revolving doors for elegant entertaining during “the season.”

I am forever grateful to the generous hospitality of each homeowner that has since become a darling friend after graciously opening their doors to me... and now to you. They are the real pearls!

Lady Henrietta Spencer-Churchill, an internationally renowned interior designer, kindly wrote the foreword, for which I am most grateful. We created an episode together for my public television series in her childhood home, Blenheim Palace, a World-Heritage Site in England. Her classic design aesthetic, along with her long family history in Palm Beach, are noteworthy. I am also appreciative of Leta Foster Austin, the notable Palm Beach designer, who wrote a lovely excerpt for the book. I am beholden to my exceptionally talented book designer, Alexandra Folino,  who graced every page with her expertise and creative genius, and I was pleased to work alongside Dean Greenblatt, my photographer.

How very jubilant I am to walk you through each of these glorious houses! I truly hope you will enjoy reading this book as much as I cherished writing and recording the detailed interiors featured across its pages.

These very private doors are now open for you... do come in!  

In the Lake House chapter, Kit Pannil’s magnificent, utilitarian-working treillage, called “Slat House,” is where she tends to her orchids (over 200!) during the winter months.

This dining room is regally set in English House, home of former Belgian Ambassador, Stephen F. Brauer, and his wife, Kimmy, who host formal dinners often.

A comfortable family room in Le Maison Jolie, the home of Mila and Brian Mulroney, the 18th Prime Minister of Canada, where the family reads and relaxes.

PS: The book is available through amazon.com, and signed copies are available through Scully & Scully, Park Avenue, NYC.  And please join me on Instagram (@hollyholdendesign) as I highlight aspects of the book. 

Anecdotes, which were not included in the book, will be revealed in next week's newsletter!

Elizabeth Gage’s Insight Into Jewelry Etiquette

My daughter Alexandra and I had a stupendous meeting, two years ago, with Elizabeth Gage at her charming Belgravia shop in London. The abundance of flowers surrounding the entrance door set the scene for the beautiful and bountiful collection of her stunning jewels inside. 

---

Elizabeth Gage's Insight Into Jewelry Etiquette! 

It was a grand pleasure and honor to host a dinner party at Fox Hall five years ago for Elizabeth Gage, the renowned, award-winning British jewelry designer! She came over from England to open “The Enchanting Jewels” exhibit, featuring 180 pieces of her gold and stone creations at The New Britain Museum of American Art in Connecticut. My husband Stuart and I have remained friends with her ever since. Her artistic gift has created the most divine “statement jewelry” that has been exhibited and admired globally. 

The moment you meet Elizabeth, her genius is palpable and her delightful personality engaging.  She is intoxicatingly captivating, yet humble about her MBE, the order of the British Empire award appointed by Her Majesty The Queen. Her patrons are discriminating and sophisticated, collecting her pieces with passion. Her gift for creativity in jewelry design is also evident in her interior design flair, that you will certainly notice in her gem-box store in Belgravia, London. Elizabeth has a charming country house outside of London, which is slated to be the next episode for my television series, as we search for a sponsor.  

I asked Elizabeth to share her thoughts on the etiquette of properly wearing jewels at various English functions and venues, which I think you, too, will find alluring and insightful! (Please note that the English spelling is jewellery.) 

Here are her charming responses:  

"Jewellery is the ultimate expression of one's individuality. Wearing jewellery that you truly love is empowering. Curating a collection that does exactly that should be cherished and requires patience. My philosophy as a designer is wearability and timeless elegance. Jewellery should be worn from day into night, and become a second skin for its wearer. Jewellery, for me, has a talismanic quality which means that it should always be timeless, handed down and cherished through the generations to follow.”  

Royal Ascot – if you are a keen racegoer then you are at the course for the horses and not to be seen; ergo jewellery should be understated.

Formal Event – if you are going and the Royals are attending, then any jewellery can be worn, but remember you cannot compete with Her Majesty The Queen. 

Gala evenings – such as Royal Opera House or Royal Ballet – the blingier the sparkle the better.  (I adore that remark!)

Weddings – guests can wear what they like as long as it goes with the outfit.  

One tradition, that is continuing, is the gift from the bride and groom to the bridesmaids. This can be anything from earrings, to a pretty necklace, to a ring. (Note in England that groomsmen are not the norm. The groom has ushers, but they are not paired up with the bridesmaids for the ceremony.) 

Since Queen Victoria’s reign, every royal bride has a sprig of myrtle in her wedding bouquet.

Diamonds - traditionally they were not worn until after lunch unless on the finger. Today, the trend seems to be that anything goes, and no longer does jewellery need to be worn as a set.

Hosting guests at home - depending on who the people are, whether they love diamonds or not, choose something unusual such as a fish pin hanging from the tube necklace. You can put any piece hanging from it, and it looks wonderful for any level of dressing up or down.

I personally advocate Elizabeth’s suggestion that jewelry should be cherished, handed down to future generations, and that it has a talismanic quality… which brings magic powers and good luck. Thank you, dear Elizabeth. We can all use a touch of that in our lives, along with the allure of sparkle!  

New Sponsors!

It is an honour to have Elizabeth Gage, one of the most influential jewellery designers of the last five decades, as a sponsor. Elizabeth is an artist who uses gold and precious stones instead of brushes and paint. Her creations are magically magnificent!

Mandarin Garnet Kiss Pin

Proper Funeral Etiquette - Part II

White flowers are the most appropriate to send for a funeral. This arrangement of white roses at Fox Hall have opened up so beautifully that they almost do not look real. 

The Farewell Finale: 
 

Funeral Etiquette Part II - Appropriate attire, church etiquette, and acknowledgment notes

What to wear to a funeral:  
 

You know this! When attending a funeral, it is most appropriate to wear conservative attire, preferably in black.

Gentlemen, wear a dark suit, dark tie, black socks and well-polished shoes. (The importance of polished shoes is my father's military background speaking, and it is applicable to women’s shoes, too.)

Ladies, wear black or dark attire. Queen Elizabeth II, and other lady members of the royal family, will always have a black outfit (along with gloves and a matching black hat, mind you), which are packed in their suitcase whilst traveling in case of an emergency mourning. I learned the hard way, as a young bride, when I attended a distant relative’s funeral service at the National Cathedral in Washington, D.C., with dignitaries and the Vice President present. Almost every lady had a black suit or dress on. Since I had been traveling prior to the funeral, I did not have a black dress packed. I wore a solid-colored, conservative dress, which was pale pink. I vowed then to purchase the perfect black funeral outfit to always have on hand, but not necessarily always in my suitcase… and I did!  

Note: A “memorial service” is typically more relaxed than a funeral. The burial has already taken place, so you may wear colors other than black.

Considerate funeral etiquette in a church:  
 

-Be on time, and arrive early before the ceremony commences.

-Put your mobile phone on silent before entering the church. 

-Keep your conversation with others decorously muted.

-Be respectful of religious customs. If it is a kneeling service, and you do not wish to kneel, bow your head and lean forward.

Know which side of the aisle to sit: 
 

The immediate family sits up front, on the right side of the church aisle, in the first set of pews.  The pews are customarily designated by flowers, a ribbon or a sign placed on the pew seat.  Directly behind them is where the close relatives and very dear friends are seated. 

Other friends, acquaintances and colleagues sit on either the right or the left side of the church.

Tearful goodbyes: 

No matter how stoic you think you will be, heartfelt emotions sometimes surprise us. Ladies, it is a good idea to carry a clean and pressed handkerchief in your purse. I still use a few beautifully embroidered hankies that once belonged to Mummy, and also, some pretty pink monogrammed ones which were given to me as a gift. I always carry one when attending a funeral. (A pretty handkerchief is a sweet gift idea to give to friends who have everything.) 

And gentlemen, tuck a white, well-pressed linen handkerchief in your coat pocket to offer to a family member or friend for their tender tears. My husband, Stuart, has this chivalrous gesture down pat, and believe me, it is most appreciated by ladies who forget to bring something to wipe their tears. And yes, he insists they keep it. Alternatively, offer a paper Kleenex tissue, especially during COVID.
 

Acknowledgment notes: 

An acknowledgment note is, in essence, a note of appreciation to those who have extended kindness and condolences to you. It is a funeral thank you note, sent from the family who lost the loved one, written to those who either gave flowers, a donation, was a pallbearer, brought food, assisted the family or guests with hospitality, or whatever was deemed as a kind gesture.  They do not need to be written to someone who just sent a note or card. 

Typically, an acknowledgment note is sent out within a month of the funeral. Of course, this can be difficult for someone who is grieving, and it may take more time. One option is to ask a family member or relative to write them on your behalf. In fact, when you write a sympathy note to a dear friend, it is thoughtful to express that no acknowledgment is necessary, especially when you know they have so many condolences to attend to.  

There are two kinds of acknowledgment notes: the preprinted note, which can be sent without a handwritten note, or a handwritten note on white or ecru writing paper and notecards. Again, black ink is de rigueur. 

Preprinted notes usually mention “the family of” the deceased within the text. For example: Your kind expression of sympathy and friendship will always remain in our memories. Thank you for your thoughtfulness. The Family of... name of the deceased.

Follow up with more love:

Within the first few weeks, and even months, after a funeral, call to see how the family is doing. Invite them to dinner, or bring dinner to them. Genuinely follow up with your offers to help in any way needed. 

When you encounter a friend who has lost a loved one, it is kind to mention the person who has died, and not ignore the fact as if it never happened. One of my darling subscribers, Mary, who just retired from the medical world, suggested that I mention this. She knows, from experience,  how much people appreciate you remembering their loved ones. 

I would be interested to hear about your funeral traditions. Please share them with me.

Forbidden faux pas:

No-no: Taking photographs at the funeral or burial service.

No-no: Not to have a sparkling clean car when attending a funeral, especially if you are driving in a funeral procession. You are honouring the dead and their family, so look your best and drive a clean car! 

No-no: If you see a funeral procession of cars, to cut into the line or block the procession. Be respectful and remember that the cars in the procession are dealing with grief.

No-no: To refer to the person who has died as “the late” so-and-so before the funeral has taken place. Only AFTER the funeral can the deceased be referred to as, “the late Mr. Churchill,” for example.

New Sponsors!

These days, wearing a mask is as much about your safety as it is the safety of others. Wearing one can also be part of your chic ensemble! May I introduce you to one of my new favorite clothing companies, Alva von Auersperg? In her words, Stay safe & stylish, wherever the day takes you. The mask that I am wearing is the Camellia print in cotton voile, with a fabric-covered elastic band. It is the perfect texture for summer and the pink design works joyfully with my wardrobe, for certain!  Ala von Auersperg designs clothing that is casually elegant, unabashedly feminine and vibrant. The pretty, pretty fabric prints are custom created by Ala’s hand. Her darling new boutique at 312 Worth Avenue in Palm Beach will be seeing even more of me during my Palm Beach book launch. Take a peek at the styles she has to offer... she knows how to adapt to flatter a woman’s body and spirit at any age. Alleluia to that!

My Jack Russell, Miss Zsa Zsa, thought my new Aka von Auersperg mask complemented her collar brilliantly.

Proper Funeral Etiquette

The sunset at Fox Hall, with the white and pink mountain laurel in bloom and the tall oak tree overhead, offers a peaceful moment of reflection.

The Farewell Finale: 
 

Funeral Etiquette Part I

Funerals... an uncomfortable topic. Death is always painful to discuss, yet funerals are inevitable. We all encounter the end of life for loved ones. A funeral is a grand finale to honour a life. Giving comfort and compassion to someone who has lost a beloved person is the essence of grace and consideration, and this is why I am taking up this subject today. I have received numerous requests from you to do so, my dear ones. 

I do not profess to be an expert on funerals at all, but I will share what I have learned from my own experience. When I was only sixteen, my beloved father suddenly died from a heart attack. I learned an invaluable lesson that I will never forget, and one that has influenced how I comfort friends who have lost a loved one. It was a Saturday morning, and within an hour of telling just one friend, suddenly my teenage bedroom was filled with my dearest friends from my all-girl’s school. One by one, they appeared at my house. They did not have to say anything. Their presence and hugs gave me the most cherished comfort I could ever have expected. 

Lesson Learned: 

Visit your dear friends and family as quickly as you can upon hearing about a death. Of course, with the COVID situation, this has to be tempered accordingly. If you live far away, call them instead so they can hear your loving voice. 

Sweet Gestures: 
 

Mummy taught me to show kindness and sympathy to those who have lost a loved one by suggesting the following:

Offer a guest bedroom to out-of-town guests. Try to assist with calls to friends and colleagues to inform them of the death and to apprise them of the funeral arrangements. Make and deliver homemade food, or store-bought, and present it on a pretty platter or serving dish (with your name affixed on a piece of tape at the bottom), for the bereaved family to enjoy or have on hand for consoling friends who drop-in. Assist with out-of-town guests by driving them or having them over for a meal. In essence, just be a thoughtful friend who can be counted upon to help in any way.

 It is considerate to bring food to a bereaved household, which they may offer to their family to enjoy and to guests who stop in to offer condolences. Arrange your goodies on an attractive plate or platter so that it may be placed directly on a table or be passed. I like to use silver because it will not break like pretty porcelain, it is a dignified symbol honoring the person who died, and it complements any room decoration. 

Write a sympathy note: 

Write, as soon as possible, a letter of condolence on white or ecru social correspondence paper, using a black ink pen. Use words of genuine, heartfelt sympathy for the bereaved. Include a few kind remarks about the person who died if you knew them well. Avoid talking about how they died, and instead, include a joyful memory if you have one. “I am sorry for your loss, my deepest sympathy” are always appropriate sentiments.

Send flowers: 

Sending a flower arrangement is always a kind gesture. Mummy always said, “Only white flowers for funerals,” but these days, this rule of thumb is more relaxed. Instead of an arrangement it is also thoughtful to send a plant, such as an orchid, flowering bush or tree for the garden… a gift that continues to give pleasure as a living tribute. My daughter thought of giving a cherry blossom tree to a family whose loved one had lived in Washington D.C.  It is a joy to see its cheerful presence each spring in their garden, sweetly reminding all of us of his life. You may also consider a rose bush or an English boxwood plant, depending on the climate of the location.

Name on the card for the flowers sent: 

Flowers historically have honoured the dead. The card attached to the flowers, when sent to the church or funeral home, should be addressed to the deceased person such as, “To the funeral of Mr. Hunter Higgins.” The card can express “In loving memory of Aunt Nippy” or “To my dear Uncle Hans.”   

(Note: Flowers are not customarily sent to those of the Jewish faith. Instead, send food or give a contribution to a charity in the person's name.)

Forbidden faux pas:

No-no: Staying too long when paying your respects to the family or in the receiving line after the funeral. Be mindful of the overwhelming stress and duty of those who are in mourning. If you visit them to pay your respect and offer a condolence, do not overstay your welcome. It is better to attempt to leave sooner... and have them request that you stay longer. 

No-no: To send an email, or worse yet, a store-bought greeting “sympathy” card, instead of your handwritten note. Your words, whether brief or in-depth, are much more meaningful than what a pre-written card can express.

No-no:  Bringing flowers with you to the funeral service.

Why does a cachepot have cachet?!

Buy in pairs! This is one of a pair of Herend cachepots, in the Chinese Bouquet Pattern in raspberry pink. They were given to us by dear, precious friends... somehow they knew I like pink! They grace our mantelpiece at Fox Hall and flank the English Staffordshire horse in the center. It is my favorite time of year when I can gather peonies and pink mountain laurel from our garden!  

Lovely Living! 

There is certainly cachet to cachepots! The French word cachepot, (pronounced as cash-poe!) translates to “hide a pot” and in particular, a flower pot. A cachepot beautifully enhances plants and flowers and is used inside a house versus outside, as they do not have any drainage holes. They are also referred to as planters and/or jardinieres, which are usually larger and placed upon the floor. To use a cachepot is tantamount to dressing up for a party, because a pretty porcelain piece will beautifully enhance any mundane, ho-hum flower pot and transform it into a “princess pot,” ready to have a ball in any room in your house!  

The more ornate and formal the porcelain cachepot, the happier it will be in a formal room. Antique and reproduction porcelain cachepots can feature ornate or very delicate designs, have gold embellishments, and even darling little legs. All of these would be more befitting and proper for a living room, on a dining room table, or on a mantelpiece.

Likewise for the simpler, uncomplicated cachepot designs made of various materials such as metal, wicker, lacquer, bamboo, or brass, these are cheerfully content when displayed in informal rooms such as libraries, kitchens, or garden rooms.

Think of the pretty plants you quickly purchase at the grocery store, such as an azalea, daffodil, hyacinth, or even an orchid. They will appear more glamorously happy in a cachepot versus the standard plastic container with foil wrap.  

A diminutive pair of delicate cachepots can elegantly adorn a mantlepiece! Filled with flowers from the garden, a graceful orchid plant, a tender topiary, or a simple English ivy plant, a pair of cachepots become smart, yet understated, exclamation points on either side of the mantlepiece.  Alternatively, a narrow, rectangular cachepot can be centered on the mantel, a bookcase, or on a table flanking the backside of a sofa.

 I find that petite, square cachepots work best on a mantlepiece because they sit easily on a narrow shelf. This French cachepot from Bernardaud, and sold at Scully & Scully, is the Le Gobelet du Roy. It is a reproduction, but was originally ordered by Louis XVI in 1783 and is decorated with friezes of myrtle leaves and wild cornflowers entwined with ribbon. It is 4 ½” square and 6” high, so it can easily hold a sweet little plant or perhaps flowers from the garden.

When purchasing cachepots, remember to consider the color and design scheme of the room  so that the cachepot, and the flowers you choose, will all be harmonious wherever they are placed. I always encourage buying in pairs whenever possible. Not only does a pair of any decorative item contribute to the symmetry of design, but it also offers you an alternative as to where they can be placed, even if separated and put into adjoining rooms. 

Millennial Tip

Cachepots have earned my respect as a welcomed wedding or birthday gift, especially when the design that adorns the piece is timeless. Not only are they extremely useful in any room, at any time of the year, but they also enhance a room, as well as the plant.

Cachepots can be used to hold the silver flatware for buffet dinner parties, too! This is another reason to buy in pairs: forks in one, knives in the other!

This hand-painted cachepot from Anna Weatherly features pink tulips and was inspired by the artisanal tradition of Hungary, where fine European porcelain with 24K gold accents highlight the design ever so quietly. It is 7 ½” in diameter and 6 ¼” high- the perfect size to pop a store-bought plant. It also holds a pint of ice cream brilliantly!  

If you have a pint of ice cream and want to serve it at the dining room table, simply place it into a cachepot! Then, you will have the perfect serving vessel which disguises the pint container. And then, any kind of ice cream will taste yummier!

New Sponsors! 

When you are on the hunt for that perfect piece of porcelain, here is your one-stop source: Lillian Grey! Owner Chelsie Hart has such a brilliant and keen eye for the most stupendous antiques and vintage treasures.

Each Wednesday she hosts a sale on her Instagram page, @lilliangreysvintagehome. Her specialty is blue and white, a classical choice for timeless interiors. I have received a few porcelain pieces as gifts from her, and Chelsie’s quality is second to none!

Remember: Buy in pairs!  Flanking the antique Wedgwood platter in the middle, are a pair of porcelain Tobacco Leaf trumpet-style vases, and a pair of ginger jars.  Just a sampling of the splendid porcelains that Chelsie tempts followers with on her lovely Instagram posts!

Novel To Noble- Needlepoint Still Reigns!

This needlepoint eyeglass case once belonged to Mummy. I had the front encased with pretty Scalamandre striped silk fabric surrounding it, so that her case continues to be a sweet memory for me in the living room at Fox Hall. Remember, a pillow does not have to consist entirely of the needlepoint canvas. You can cheat a little by adding more fabric around the canvas!

Lovely Living! 

Here is an idea for the perfect antidote to the pandemic: create a needlepoint pillow! Not that you will ever forget 2020, but at least you will have a pretty reminder of how you survived it. I find that when I needlepoint, it creates a sense of calm and a quiet time to savor. And the best part?  There is a present at the end of your efforts that gives joy and brings back distinct memories of when and why you created it… and hopefully, keeps you in stitches! 

Needlepoint pillows are a timeless staple in classic, preppy interiors as well as in noble residences, especially if made by a member of the household. They can add a touch of whimsy, as well as offer a glimpse at your interests. The design you choose can pique a conversation around the story of what inspired you to create it. I devoted an entire chapter to needlepoint pillows in my first book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room. That is how much I adore them!  But, true confession: once I start a piece, I cannot stop. I become a sleepless fanatic, staying up until I finish it. Heaven, help me! Fortunately, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law are stupendously superb needlepointers who have kindly taken over some of my projects and finished them for me when my schedule was too demanding. Their stitching abilities far outshine mine, so my work suddenly becomes masterpieces of their work. How splendid is that!?

My talented sister-in-law made this adorable needlepoint belt with Jack Russell Terriers for me. When I outgrew it, I had it cut in half, inserted into some bubblegum pink shantung silk, and made into two kidney pillows for the tellie room.

From my experience, any house that has a few handmade needlepoint pillows sprinkled about is a crystal ball that indicates a truly charming home. I know that I am in the presence of an enchanting needlepointer! Every needlepointer that I have ever known has been clever, intelligent, talented, well-traveled, and charming. Now, that is a big statement, but this adage has always held true for me. From Princess Grace, to Barbara Bush, and even Marie Antoniette, they are all part of the distinguished needlepoint community. And now more than ever, needlepoint is chic with millennials too! 

Just down the street from Fox Hall is the former home of Anna Roosevelt Cowles, the older sister to President Theodore Roosevelt. Her daughter-in-law was an avid and very accomplished needlepointer. A few of her creations still adorn the Cowles house, along with a breathtaking carpet that she stitched, featuring the design of the Chippendale front gate that graces the front of the historic home.  A carpet... talk about being a devotee to needlepoint! And the tradition carries on to this day, in the same house.

Lovingly made, these three pillows each have a story behind them, which I find to be a simply enchanting aspect of handmade needlepoint pillows.

I do hope you will be inspired to take up needlepoint if you haven’t already. It does not have to be a pillow or a carpet, and it can be as simple as a petite Christmas ornament. And if you are not inclined to learn this elegant technique, you can embellish your house with the needlepoint pillows offered at Scully and Scully. Their pink floral needlepoint pillows, the Fox, or blue and white pillows are perfectly charming.

Millennial Tip

Have a zipper enclosure inserted along the bottom edge of your pillow so that you can easily remove the cover and have it dry-cleaned. 

Forbidden Faux Pas: 

No-no: To have pillow inserts made of foam rubber. Traditionally, pillows are always filled with down feather inserts.

No-no: To have so many pillows on a chair or sofa that a guest cannot comfortably be seated!

New Sponsors! 

If you are in search of the most adorable canvases with a touch of whimsy and playful elegance, Jessica Chaney is renowned for her quintessential canvas designs in her darling Palm Beach shop, Lycette! Her shop specializes in a joyful, modern take on needlepoint. The Glampad blog wrote a delightful piece about Lycette. Jessica can assist and teach you. She even taught Andrea, who writes The Glampad! 

To quote Audrey Hepburn, "I believe in pink.” The "Think Pink" Judith August Cosmetics makes a purse size compact that truly brings out the pink lovers in all of us. Her delightful, pink blush has a sweet rose-shaped highlighter to greet you when you open it!  Judith August dedicated an entire chapter to pink in her book. I just know that it will tickle you pink!

Pretty in Porcelain!

The front hall at Fox Hall (c. 1803), features two handsome mahogany doors. Above the doors, two French porcelain urns are placed as decorative elements.

---

I imagine you must have some unique pieces of porcelain displayed or tucked away somewhere in your residence that you are not presently using? Or how about ones you can reconfigure in an exclusive and unexpected place? Let’s chat about how to present them in a uniquely, memorable way! Quiet and subtle, yet uncommon decorative details, bring a sense of individuality to your interiors, contributing to an inviting atmosphere. They also whisper your personality.

My house, Fox Hall (c. 1803), has lovely wood trim, moldings, and historic decorative embellishments, which is precisely why I have an attraction and great appreciation for historic houses. Nearly twenty years ago, my husband and I purchased two French 19th-century porcelain urns. Initially, I thought I would place them on the Philadelphia chest in the front hall.  The radiant yellow was lively, and the cobalt blue hinted at the background color of our Chinese rug. Once they were sitting on the chest, I stepped back to admire them. Then, I looked up, and... aha! I quickly dashed to find the tall step ladder and toddled up with one urn grasped between both hands. Alleluia! Both of them JUST happened to fit, within a gnat's eyelash! There, in the middle of the two pediments above the living room doors, is where these urns have remained, ever since.  This is what I mean: think outside of the box and look around your residence for a unique place to display your porcelain! 

If you have some “amusing” pieces of porcelain, think of a new destination for them to rest as well. A pair of foo dogs became mine when I was a child living in Taipei, Taiwan. I begged my parents for a dog. So, they bought me a pair of dogs that just happened to be... ceramic. Yes, creative parents! They were my puppies for a while until I relentlessly convinced my parents to purchase “Miss Mischief,” a cute puppy from the neighbor’s litter next door.  I shall always cherish my pair of foo dogs. They hopped up on top of the American highboy, and have remained there, snarling at guests entering the front door at Fox Hall. To make them less intimidating, I occasionally feed their ferocious mouths with a pink flower blossom or a sprig of holly at Christmas. Not many guests ever notice them, but they continue to bring such joy to me every time I see them perched smugly, up high, and oh so mighty! 

Today, one of my foo dogs is perched on the edge of the highboy with a dab of poster board putty on his paws to hold him in place. He proudly snarls with a pink azalea blossom clenched within his fierce teeth.

A smart interior design practice that I have observed repeatedly in elegantly traditional houses, as well as in noble European residences, is the time-honored practice of featuring porcelain on top of significantly tall pieces of furniture. When a large piece of porcelain is placed atop substantial furniture, the porcelain contributes and enhances the overall composition.  From a highboy, desk, chest, or bookcase, placing a porcelain piece on top adds a graceful focal point, while also gently grounding the large piece of furniture underneath it. I refer to this technique as the proverbial “cherry on top!” The “cherry” is a porcelain vase, urn, footbath, pitcher, or something similar. It can also be a complementary grouping of porcelain, such as plates interspersed with vessels.

Here, a collection of plates, along with a Spode pitcher that my darling mother-in-law gave me as a birthday gift from one of her brilliant forays to England, grace the top of an English chest of drawers.

Once you are aware of how simple the technique is to add a piece of porcelain on top of a substantial, flat-surfaced piece, you will then understand how it enriches the design aspect within the entire room. Granted, you need to keep the size of both the porcelain and the furniture in mind, along with the color scheme of the room when marrying them together. By observing this practice, when you travel or discover them within the pages of interior design books, you will see firsthand how enticing it is to implement this technique. I wrote about this in my first book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room. Though once you are aware of, and partake in this practice, large pieces of furniture without the porcelain punctuation may appear lacking, as if something is missing! 

If you are inspired to adopt a pair of your own unique foo dogs, Scully & Scully offers a stunning selection of various styles and colors.

---

---

New Sponsors!

Speaking of porcelains, you won’t find any cuter renditions of porcelain inspired artwork, writing paper, pillows, towels and more, than by this talented mother-daughter duo creating lifestyle products. They offer all sorts of classic watercolor designs with a dash of whimsy, and are from charming Winter Park, Florida. Winter Park is the home of Rollins College, where two of my children attended! These adorable blue and white Canton vases on a pink background, have a charming tropical twist!

---

Pop the cork and let’s PARTY! With social distancing guidelines in place, we’ve found the perfect accessory for your next soirée.  What better way to celebrate than with our eco- friendly sponsor, Boozie Bluebell! Serving wine, beer, and champagne from a darling custom portable bar cart at your next event, from Orlando to Palm Beach, Miami and everywhere in between!

---

Sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners to receive new sparkling tips about etiquette and classic design every week, along with a free download of Holly’s Elegant Entertaining e-book.

---

Placemat prerogatives!

We purchased this set of twelve ecru placemats and napkins when we visited Prague as a family. I enjoy the petite size, allowing the wood of the table to be the star. It also appears that more starch should have been used when they were pressed!

---

Placemat prerogatives!  

My daughter Alexandra, who lives in England, adores entertaining and hosting dinner parties. Her lovely dining room table is always dressed for a party with a white damask or linen tablecloth, a timeless traditional choice. 

However, during months of lockdown with four children (including a set of four-year-old twins!), three meals a day take place in the kitchen on the lengthy wooden antique refectory table, sans a white damask tablecloth, avec placemats! She posed several questions to me about placemats, because now she only has contempt for them! In her words, “It is just one more thing to clean after endless meals... why do we even need them!?” 

Tablecloths have been adorning dining tables for ages, and are thought to have come to Europe in the first century A.D. Their Lilliputian cousin, the placemat, is a neoteric invention! In the twentieth century, bright colors and patterns began to emerge as “placemats” instead of a tablecloth. Much easier to clean and less expensive! Placemats began to be used for both informal and formal occasions, depending on the fabric.

Why use placemats? 

To protect the table from scratches when plates are moving around, and from heated plates. I also think they add a liveliness to the table!

Do they need to match the plates, napkins, and walls? 

Placemats add a decorative aspect to the table.  The color of the room, along with decorative details such as the porcelain plates, napkins, centerpiece or floral arrangement, should all be taken into consideration when choosing a placemat to adorn your table.  

How long does the placemat stay on the table? 

Placemats stay on the table for the entire meal, unlike the use of a charger, which is removed before the main course, or before dessert is served.

What size placemat is best to use? 

Linen placemats are approximately 12” x 18”. If you are going to use placemats, I think that a table has a glorious appeal with more of the handsome, polished wood showing. Hence, I collect smaller placemats! The silver and crystal have a certain sparkle when set on the wood, especially when enhanced with candlelight.

This fine, three-tier, DANISH brass chandelier is c. 1900 and has TWELVE stunning arms to elegantly illuminate any room with a majestic presence. There are six reflectors that are at the top, which also contributes to “throwing the light”! 31 1/2” High x 30 1/2” Diameter. For more information, please visit www.WhitmanAntiques.com.

What is considered an informal placemat? 

Informal placemats are made of various materials such as woven straw, leather, shagreen, capiz shells, cork, and more. They also come in a variety of sizes.

My all-time favorite placemats for informal meals (breakfast, lunch, and dinner) are hand-painted wooden placemats, lacquered, and felt-backed from England. They are practical while also elegantly understated. From impromptu dinner parties to when my grandchildren come to visit, I treasure this type of placemat (versus fabric or woven ones) because they can simply be wiped off!  And they are so attractive that they may remain on the table until the next meal. I MUST send some of these to Alexandra… I wish I could send her a cook, too!

From my experience, I think that Scully and Scully have the best assortment of English wood placemats! Their felt-backing also allows them to be used as a trivet for hot dishes. I adore the round selection and own the Delany floral design. They are approximately 10” in diameter. I also like the small, square-ish selections at 8” x 9 ½”. The handsome Hunt Scene set is slightly larger, rectangular, and covers more of the table for when the grandbabies are dining! I use pretty pink floral placemats, purchased in Bermuda, on the verandah in the summer. They are perfect for outdoor dining because they do not blow away!  

Hunt Scene Mats, Green.

Delany Flower Round Mat & Coasters.

---

Does silver flatware go on top or to the side of the placemat? 

For smaller placemats, such as the 10” diameter, the flatware and napkin rest on the table, not on the placemat. For the larger placemats, such as the Hunt Scene, 15 1/2 “ x 11 ½”, the flatware goes on the placemat, but the napkins are placed on the table next to the placemat. Additionally, after placing the flatware atop the larger placemat, if there is still room the napkin can be placed on the placemat as well.

Do you place glasses on placemats? 

You can try to place the glass on a fabric placemat, but from my experience, glasses become sometimes tippy. I prefer to place glasses on the table, next to and above the placemat. Coasters are needed for stemless glasses with ice, but not for stemmed wine glasses.

Do placemats touch the edge of the table? 

No, placemats are placed about 1” above the edge of the table.

Can you mix and match them, if you do not have enough to go around? 

Yes, if the placemats are the same design and size, but the colors are different, or if the pattern and size complement one another, they can be displayed together.  For example, I have alternated a set of six yellow linen placemats with the same set of six in pink at an Easter luncheon for twelve.

Millennial Tip

The finest quality white damask, lace, and linen tablecloths are still considered de rigueur (required by etiquette) to be the most formal and cherished because they were the most expensive to purchase and maintain, requiring superb cleaning, along with a starched pressing.  

To be noted, a placemat in an elegant fabric such as linen, lace, organdy, or a similar counterpart (in either white or ecru), still reigns supreme on the formality scale. These placemats, along with the coordinating napkins as a set, will always be appropriate for any occasion. Because of their neutrality in color, will complement any room design. One can not go wrong with this choice; it is always a good investment to have a set. 

Placemats and napkins can be customized with embroidery, donning the initials of the hostess of the house.  

Traditionally, if a runner is used, it is made of the same linen fabric as the placemats and napkins, and approximately 3’ in length. They are used to enhance the centerpiece and may go under a pair of candlesticks, or candelabra, depending on the length of the table.

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-no: To have decorative table runners that run the entire length of the table, or drop over the end of the table.   

No-no: To place a placemat on top of a tablecloth. Use one or the other. 

---

New Sponsors!

There is something about candlelight that creates a magical atmosphere. Mummy said, "Everything tastes better in candlelight"!  Take a peek at our sponsor, Whitman Antiques.  I spoke with Margaret Whitman about their museum-quality pieces.  They have been featured in the most prestigious antique shows...at the past Philadelphia Antiques Show, they were the only dealer to sell to Martha Stewart! 

---

Sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners to receive new sparkling tips about etiquette and classic design every week, along with a free download of Holly’s Elegant Entertaining e-book.

---

How about a candlelight dinner tonight?

Isn’t this a gloriously handsome, Georgian Irish oval mirror, c.1790, from Fileman Antiques in England? This piece, while over two hundred years old, has a modern aesthetic. Its classical design has transcended time and would be a brilliant addition to any interior, historic or modern.

---

Let's light some candles tonight! 

I am certain that routine dinners are feeling rather monotonous during quarantine by now. 

Here is an idea for you… light more candles!  

Candlelight can turn a mundane event into a celebration! Mummy always said that a candlelit dinner somehow magically becomes... more memorable. Just the motion of lighting the wick transports me, for a brief moment, to a place of jubilee and gratitude. Candles have been an integral part of celebrations for centuries, from churches to dinner parties, and even atop birthday cakes; candles contribute to creating significant moments! 

So if candlelight implies a celebration, dress up for dinner!  If you have children, let them dress up or wear a costume. Three of my precious little granddaughters would adore being Elsa, in a “Frozen” second! 

Mummy shared another secret with me: Candlelight will make whatever you are serving taste better! Now that is something to think about… go get the matches and light every candle you have in the dining room, right?

"There are two ways of spreading light, to be the candle or to be the mirror that reflects it." -Edith Wharton

Here is another idea: Double the reflection of your candles by placing them in front of a mirror.  This technique has been done for centuries. Evening candlelight reflects charmingly off of the mirrors, making them alluringly majestic. We all need some magic now!

I marveled at a brilliant example of this while filming my television series at Blenheim Palace, England, with Lady Henrietta Spencer-Churchill, in the private dining room of her family home. A dramatically tall pair of candelabras were placed in front of the two magnificent looking-glasses (mirrors) situated between the windows. What a stunning vision when lit in the evening! 

One of the Georgian gilt girandoles, in the dining room at Fox Hall, reflects the distant chandelier lights in the mirror.

Millennial Tip

When our girandole candles are lit for a party, they are especially mesmeric and enchanting. But, with candlelight, beware of air-conditioning or window breezes... I found out the hard way! The newly installed a/c vent in the ceiling blew downward, near the candles, which caused the wax to drip, unbeknownst to me, onto the two silk seats of the Hepplewhite chairs below. Let’s just say, it turned out to be a “rawwwther” expensive dinner party!

 Forbidden Faux Pas

No-no: To have a white wick showing on a candle.  A wick must always be blackened, even if the candle is only for display.  (Mummy was a stickler on this rule of thumb!) 

Lovely Living

Mummy maintained that candles must be white. I never understood why she insisted on white! Well, a little peek at candle history: candles were originally made of tallow (cow, sheep, animal fat or oils) and have been around for thousands of years. Beeswax was discovered more recently, a few hundred years ago, as an alternative to tallow. It is naturally pale yellow in color, but when left in the sun, eventually, after a few days, the beeswax will turn white, which is one reason they were more expensive to make. They burn better and longer and do not smell, unlike the ghastly smell of tallow candles from years ago. Due to their expense, white candles were considered a step above any other candle and historically were used in noble residences, palaces, and churches. A white candle continues to be a timeless, traditional choice, especially for formal events. 

---

New Sponsors!

My two new sponsors complement the topic at hand: candles and mirrors!

The gorgeous Georgian mirror, pictured on top, is from Fileman Antiques, England. It is beyond fabulous. Fileman is one of the world's leading specialists in antique English cut glass, chandeliers, wall lights, candelabras from renowned makers, and designers. Their website sparkles with elegant offerings… I know you will be tempted! Daniel Fileman said they install worldwide. I have my eye on a few pieces! 

Perhaps you are enticed to learn more about beeswax candles now? Ruth Wilkerson is the founder and chandler of La Petite Abeille.  Her online boutique offers the most tempting assortment of all-natural beeswax candles, handmade in the USA, with a smart array of colors...not just “Mummy’s White!” 

---

Sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners to receive new sparkling tips about etiquette and classic design every week, along with a free download of Holly’s Elegant Entertaining e-book.

---

What happened to elegant "one-bite" hors d'oeuvres?

The edible flowers on these tiny, bite-sized nibbles were the perfect touch for a ladies' “April showers bring May flowers!” luncheon I hosted at Fox Hall.

---

A darling Southern friend recently posed the question, “What do you do when you are presented with passed hors d’ oeuvres that are HUGE? They either crumble as you bite them, drip, or you pop the entire “nibble” into your mouth, which makes you look like a chipmunk. All are dreadful options. Please, bring back the one-bite wonder!”

My response has always been to  “pass” on any huge hors d’oeuvres being passed! 

This rule of thumb comes from my memory of a rather traumatic party experience. When I was notably pregnant, donning my only emerald green silk maternity cocktail dress, I tried to gracefully take a bite of a warm filo pastry nibble at a lovely Christmas party. It was a two-biter.  Big mistake. Butter squirted down the entire front of my silk dress. There was no hope, even when I attempted to douse it with water in the powder room in desperation. Butter does not disappear, but I soon did! 

In eager anticipation of hosting parties again, even if it is only a handful of family, friends, or even a virtual cocktail party on Zoom, I thought it worthy of our attention to be mindful of offering petite hors d’oeuvres. Keep this in mind for future planning. One-bite hors d’oeuvres, and how they are presented and passed, contribute splendidly and set the tone for creating an elegant cocktail party. 

If you have ever attended a dignified, albeit chic, party in New York City, Paris, or Palm Beach, it is most likely that you have experienced delicately prepared, exquisitely presented hors d’oeuvres, usually no larger than a dime. They look divine, taste divine, and are  divinely little pop-in-the-mouth treasures! One can easily manage and savour an ethereal little nibble without the threat of the “How am I going to eat this thing?” dilemma. Unfortunately, this dilemma is typical of bruschetta, which is, from my experience, a recipe for disaster. As you can imagine, I am not keen on passing anything that needs to be gnawed off a bone, either.

And speaking of parties, or the lack thereof, I’m pleased to introduce The New York Social Diary as our new sponsor. The New York Social Diary website is an iconic newsletter that publishes articles and photographs of prominent, elegant and dashing people at posh celebrations in New York City and other notable places. If you have already subscribed, then you know how witty and intoxicating the writing is by the esteemed David Patrick Columbia. He is the brilliant social columnist who founded NYSD in 2000. The articles are captivating, the photographs are colorful and striking, and the Party Picture section features guests attending enchanting private fetes. Subscribe and revel in the pleasure it provides!

When my first book, The Pretty and Proper Living Room debuted, it was mentioned in the NYSD and I was beyond elated. I am overjoyed to introduce and announce the NYSD sponsorship of this newsletter… pinch me! 

Millennial Tip

If you choose to decorate your serving platters, use a little bit of poster board clay to keep your ornament or figurine in place as the platter is being passed. If you use a few flowers, tie a ribbon around them in a color that complements the tray or the room in which it will be presented. The texture of the ribbon will help the flowers from sliding around onto the nibbles. 


 

Forbidden Faux Pas

 No-no: To take more than one hors d’oeuvres at a time when presented to you. 

Lovely Living

Almost every living room needs additional “drinks tables” for entertaining. The Enchanted Home  has the perfect sized tables. I adore the “scalloped ivory and blue ginger jar tray table.” Tina offers other charming colors and designs as well. And, for a ladies’ luncheon, especially for a Garden Club, this darling card design by Felix Doolittle, can be used to create the perfect handwritten invitation. It sets the scene for a delightfully floral party to ensue. It had me at “pink bow!”

This Scully & Scully hand made ceramic tray from Italy, is perfect for passing hors d'oeuvres. Because of the attractively painted design, additional garnish is not even needed!

---

---

Sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners to receive new sparkling tips about etiquette and classic design every week, along with a free download of Holly’s Elegant Entertaining e-book.

---

Should you bring your drink from cocktail hour into the dining room?

After a little champagne celebration at Fox Hall, Stuart and I adjourned to the dining room while leaving the empty glasses behind in the living room.

---

Recently, I received a question from Gaye, whom I met at a signing event for my first book, the Pretty & Proper Living Room, which was hosted by my favorite store, Lori Jayne in Palm Beach. Gaye offered me a treasure trove of topics to delve into! I shall share one of them with you today. Even though we are all not attending dinner parties and receptions during this time of social distancing, we continue to be in eager anticipation of them, non?
 

Is bringing your drink from a cocktail reception hour to the dinner table a faux pas?

Oh, I adore the Southerners who give me their suggestions and questions...old-world gentility at its best! Most of us are probably imbibing more than usual with the current state of quarantine, whilst carefreely taking our wine or cocktail glasses just about anywhere in the house we may venture.  But, when we are back in a polished entertaining form, here are suggestions of what one does with their drink at various social venues after the cocktail hour:

Dinner Party:
Yes, it is a faux pas at a private dinner party to bring your drink from the cocktail hour to the dining room table. Place it on the cocktail napkin that you have been given and leave it in the room where you were enjoying cocktail hour. It there is a butler or server at the doorway as you leave the room, or stationed at the entrance to the dining room with a tray in hand, your drink may be placed upon their tray. 

Whether it is wine, champagne, or a cocktail, drinks should always be left behind in the room where you gathered for cocktails. An exception to this is if the hostess suggests to her guests that they may bring their drink to the table. 

---

After a spectacular day in Paris, Stuart and I had a few divine sips of wine in Bar 228, at Le Meurice Hôtel in Paris. When our table was ready, the waiter carried our drinks into the dining room, Le Meurice Alain Ducasse, and served them to us at our table.

---

Elegant Club or Restaurant:
If you are enjoying a cocktail at the bar or in a reception area and the waiter or maitre d’ arrives to escort you to your table, they should offer to bring your drink to the table for you. The waiter will collect the drinks on a tray, and then proceed to serve them back to you at the table. Or, if you wish, you may decide not to take the drink with you. It’s best to follow the lead of your host. 

Fundraiser or large reception:  
I make the effort to observe the host of the event and follow their lead. Usually, there is a table upon departing the reception room where one may place their drink.  

If it is a business gathering, quite often, bringing your drink with you from the reception to the dining table is acceptable.  

A semi-formal or formal event:
It is most appropriate to discard your drink on a side table, or upon a server’s tray,  when the cocktail hour adjourns before you enter the dining reception room.

Forbidden Faux Pas

No-no: If you are attending a private dinner party, to ask for a different wine than the one being served at the dinner table.  If white wine is being served, but you prefer red, simply abstain from drinking the red! If the host notices that you are not drinking and specifically asks if you would prefer something different, then it is acceptable to suggest that you prefer red or white, depending on the situation. 

No-no: At a private dinner, to bring your drink to the dining room table, unless the hostess invites you to do so.   

---

Sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners to receive new sparkling tips about etiquette and classic design every week, along with a free download of Holly’s Elegant Entertaining e-book.

---

Do you know how to use bookplates?

This darling bookplate was created for my interior design books in our library at Fox Hall by the company, FELIX DOOLITTLE, noted for their extraordinary illustrated papers and gifts.

---

Because of social distancing, people are reading more, which made me contemplate this very topic! Why is it that occasionally, when someone borrows a book from you, it inadvertently, (wink-wink) never gets returned? I surmise you have experienced this, too, yes? Ahhh, that is why having a bookplate, which marks ownership, fastened inside your book (or on a kindle!) is to your advantage. 

A bookplate is not only an attractive way to personalize your books, it is inestimable as a subtle reminder to return your borrowed book because it features your name or some reference to your ownership.  Well, at least it will be a hopeful hint in that regard!

---

When Lady Carnarvon came from Highclere Castle, aka Downton Abbey, to visit me at Fox Hall, she was also the guest speaker at Hill Stead Museum’s for their immense fundraising event in Farmington. She brilliantly pre-signed her personal bookplates, so that they could easily be placed inside the books to be sold in advance of the event.

---

Bookplates originated in Germany in the 15th century. The first bookplates were printed to indicate ownership of a book. They were little works of art, pasted inside the cover of the book.  Bookplates have also been referred to as ex libris, Latin meaning “from the books of”.  They were often an indication of inherited prestige, adorned with the  reference to nobles, who owned treasured books by featuring their coats of arms.  

While present-day use is more for decorative purposes, they are still designed and collected by book lovers who continue to personalize their books in their private libraries.

Millennial Tip

Bookplates can be used in a myriad of other ways.  They can be affixed to your journal or a notebook. I found that they make a meaningful gift for a baby shower (along with a few of my favorite children’s books), for young readers, teachers, and book lovers of all ages.

When you loan a book to someone, it is a prudent idea to mention when you would like  the book back...a week, a month, before you leave for a trip or whatever.  By doing so, it is easier to ask for it back if it is not returned!

Lovely Living!

My dear friend, Kelly J., gave me the most lovely hostess gift: a personalized return-address label with an attractive image of a horse and rider with the address of Fox Hall, our house.  It was created by FELIX DOOLITTLE. They are a boutique stationer with the most attractive artisan-crafted products which feature charming watercolor art creations by Felix Fu.  When I saw their offerings, I was hooked! I discovered their bookplates, which are made with archival paper. They kindly created one with a fox, pictured above, for me.

---

Sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners to receive new sparkling tips about etiquette and classic design every week, along with a free download of Holly’s Elegant Entertaining e-book.

---

How to shower gracefully!

What a joy it was to attend this stunning “Sip and See” celebration for the most adorable baby girl! It was held in a gloriously beautiful historic Boston townhouse.

---

This week I received a question from a precious friend’s daughter, whom I adore! She lives in New York but is presently quarantining with her family down south. I thought her inquiry would be a lively topic to cover, especially with the hope and dream of hosting parties again.  Perhaps it will spark conversation within your family, too!

“Mrs. Holden, we are looking for your perspective on the topic of hosting “showers” as we have an inner family debate!  In this modern world, is it appropriate or not, for a family member to host a bridal shower? Please do not hold back on your candid expert opinion. We are hoping for a colorful debate!! (What else do we have to do in a quarantine state!!)"

My response:  I believe that any member of the immediate family (especially the mother) should not host a bridal or baby shower. The traditional thought is that it appears audacious, as if the bride or the family are doing it for the presents, and it is self-serving. If a friend (or a distant relative) hosts the shower, their only interest is to provide the bride or expectant mother with an opportunity to share this wonderful event with family and friends.

Now, is this form of etiquette still relevant today?  I still hear Mummy whispering in my ear, “Yes!” And, I agree as well. It is an old-school secret code. 

However, there is a way to graciously skirt around this if need be.  If no friends have offered to host the shower for various reasons, such as the expense or even the venue size required, and a family member wants to provide the shower, they may ask a dear friend to act as the hostess. The family member can plan the event with the friend, and then the family member actually pays the expenses for the shower. I have witnessed this before. Even if others find out what has transpired, it still comes across as more genteel, and everyone is pleased to be a part of the celebration on behalf of the guest of honor.  

In reference to a baby shower, there is an alternative for a family member who wishes to host a party.  It is perfectly acceptable for a family member, especially a grandmother, to host a “Sip and See” party after the baby is born, instead of a shower which takes place before the baby is born!  If guests choose to bring a gift, that is their prerogative….who can resist not bringing a gift to a newborn?

---

---

Millennial Tip

When hosting a shower or a birthday party where presents are brought for the guest of honor, it is thoughtful to hold off opening the gifts until the dessert is served, or afterward, or not at all. I have attended a shower with over fifty ladies and just the gift opening portion took over two hours! While it is lovely to see what gifts have been given, along with the joy on the recipient’s face, I think it is rather cheeky to take up the time of your guests when it is a large gathering. 

When the time comes to thank your guests for attending, you may then also announce that they are welcome to stay while the gifts are opened, but will understand if they need to leave. 

If you are the guest of honor, remember to give a toast at the beginning of the event to express your gratitude and thank the hostess, and also the guests, for their thoughtfulness and meaningful attendance.

My Gift to You! You Have Earned It!

Speaking of parties and knowing how challenging it has been to be quarantined for what seems like an eternity, I would like to give you a little gift, my secret recipe, in the form of a video, for “Holden Punch”.  It makes its merry appearance at every large gathering at Fox Hall. My daughter-in-law, Karen Holden, joins me in this video. Cheers to our dedicated medical community and essential workers, and to all of you who have respectfully sequestered. I only wish that I could make a glass for each one of you!

Yes, it makes enough for 70, cut in half for 30, and then, you can cut that in half so that you will have enough to make a “party for two” all weekend! Remember to dilute it with an abundance of ice.

If you enjoy this video, consider gaining unlimited access to my archive of videos here.

Lovely Living!

Here are some suggestions for accessories that I either use, give as a gift, specify for my private clients, or contemplate owning! 

When guests arrive at Fox Hall for a party, they are offered a glass of bubbly! These pretty Baccarat crystal Dom Perignon champagne flutes are always appropriate with their timeless design.   
 

What better way to celebrate a bride or a new baby than a garden party!  Create a bespoke tablecloth with this joyful Lilly Pulitzer floral fabric… and make a dress for yourself too! It is available through DesignSourceCT.

---

Sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners to receive new sparkling tips about etiquette and classic design every week, along with a free download of Holly’s Elegant Entertaining e-book.

---

The silver is polished, now what?

I placed this little arrangement with pink spring hyacinths, gathered from our garden at Fox Hall on the bedside table for my husband, Stuart. And now, our bedroom has the sweet memories and aroma of Easter lingering on.

---

The day after Easter, a family holiday or a dinner party, your table is still adorned with flowers and decorative accessories, in situ.  So, why not relish this enchanting aspect and make a concerted effort to dine there and enjoy them all week long!  

Admire the polished silver, pretty crystal glasses, flower arrangements and lovely porcelain plates. Don’t let your hard work disappear too quickly! Mummy always said to me, “Dine with your best accouterments every day, not just for special occasions. . Remember, everything tastes better when served on silver or pretty porcelain, and under the gentle glow of candlelight!”

By leaving your dining room table dressed in it’s finest, you will also have a proper reason to use your family napkin rings so that everyone can reuse their linen napkins more than once after the initial celebration.  

If there is a stain on the tablecloth from the antecedent dinner celebration, a clever solution is to open a linen napkin and place it over the stain to cover it.  Then, it is disguised and you can easily pretend that it disappeared! This is exactly what transpires in lovely restaurants when an accidental wine spill occurs.

Millennial Tip

When you are preparing to store your silver, consider using some anti-tarnish silver cloth which can be purchased by the yard from here. I line my drawers with enough of this flannel so that it will cover the top and bottom of the silver, tantamount to a duvet cover!  It truly is a wonder at retarding tarnish on my silver. 

Most flower arrangements have blossoms that vary in their “wilting timetable”! If you have a few flowers that continue to be happy and bloom on, remove them, discarding the sad wilted flowers, and create a smaller arrangement utilizing the remaining lovely flowers.  I love to place a little arrangement by my husband’s bedside for him to enjoy, along with my family’s bedrooms when they come to visit, as a little kiss from me! 

---

Sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners to receive new sparkling tips about etiquette and classic design every week, along with a free download of Holly’s Elegant Entertaining e-book.

---

How to dine differently

This is a page from my book, “The Pretty and Proper Living Room”, photographed in our Living Room at Fox Hall. I chose to surprise Stuart and dine in the living room as a change of venue. I brought in a Pembroke table from another room and removed the coffee table in front of the sofa. The two Hepplewhite chairs are from the Living Room. It was the first day of spring, so I used my grandmother’s flower Limoges plates. We enjoyed a delightfully romantic evening!

---

Perhaps you have noticed my new tagline at the base of the MMM logo? I decided to add “Lessons for Lovely Living” to expand the breadth of a gracious lifestyle.  

This will enable me to share more than just Mummy’s etiquette secrets with you. I will venture even further into interior design and entertaining ideas that contribute to a timeless and tailored house.  “Lessons for Lovely Living” will encompass all of the realms and nuances of creating an inviting abode where family and guests do not want to leave! 

On that note, having been sequestering at home for such a length of time, “not wanting to leave” is presently not applicable! Three meals a day at the same table can become rather mundane, right? 
 

As such, why not simply try changing your dinner venue?

From the dining room or the kitchen table, find an unexpected place in your house, even if it is for only one meal. With children, without children, or even by yourself, creating a new venue to dine, any time of year, can contribute to a sense of adventure and a cherished memory. 

Some ideas for dining differently:

If you have children, let them brainstorm and choose a new place to dine.  I am always surprised at what children think of... from the attic to the basement, and anyplace in between. This project will also help to keep them occupied, which is key! If you’re in an apartment, perhaps it would be fun to have a “pretend picnic” where everyone sits on the floor with pillows atop a decorative tablecloth.

Go shopping and incorporate decorative items from around the house!  The treasure hunt is the amusing part. Discover uncommon and meaningful items on your bookshelves, tabletops, china cabinets or, if you have a library, wine cellar, or a garden shed, look in there, too. From an animal theme, to a pink and green theme, horse theme, an Asian theme, even a candlestick theme, or a gold or silver theme, the options are endless.  Consider using different linens, plates and glasses.

Have your children create their own placemats for the occasion or design a “zoo” table with their toys and stuffed animals. (You probably feel like you are already in a zoo, at this point!). Vary the normal seating placement for your family.  Perhaps, seat the youngest where an adult usually sits. 

Please, share with me the new dining destinations that you create in your home!  Because of this present day quarantine situation, we have an opportunity to spend even more time to realize who and what is really important in life...CHEERS to that!

LET'S SPARKLE ON!

---

Sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners to receive new sparkling tips about etiquette and classic design every week, along with a free download of Holly’s Elegant Entertaining e-book.

---

Tasteful alternatives to table numbers!

As a hostess, my table in the Make-Shift Theatre at the Hill Stead Museum featured a petite picture frame with the image of “Jockeys” by Edgar Degas, which is on display in the museum collection. I placed two French lavender sachets by each place card as a nod to France and Impressionist artists. It was a pleasure to arrange the medley of pink flowers for the event.

---

When hosting a large event, table names or numbers are required in order for the guests to be able to discover their table.

Being quarantined, for what seems like an eternity, I began to dream about parties! As I viewed some of my photographs for inspiration, I joyfully discovered photographs from the very last event held over a month ago, which I assisted in hosting. My gracious! Times have changed radically since then. Oh, how I cherish those sweet memories of being with dear friends!

The event was a lady’s luncheon to introduce the new Executive Director of the Hill-Stead Museum, Anna Swinborne, to friends and supporters of the museum. The Hill-Stead, a beloved treasure in the historic village of Farmington, Connecticut, is a private country estate designed by Theodate Pope Riddle in 1901 for her parents. Theodate was one of America's first female architects. She worked with the renowned architectural firm of McKim, Mead & White on the Hill-Stead project. Theodate was a graduate of Miss Porter’s School where my two daughters attended, too. I do hope you’ll visit the museum someday, and be sure to walk the stunning gardens and grounds… a must-do! 

As we hostesses organized the table seating chart, we discussed how to reference the eight tables for our guests to discover their table assignment. I suggested that we use something other than just mundane table numbers. Our group came up with the idea to choose eight paintings from the vast collection of stellar artwork displayed in the museum (Monet, Manet, Cassatt, Degas, Whistler, to name a few). We chose a different painting to reference each table. As an avid rider, I jumped at having Edgar Degas' painting, Jockeys, 1886, at my table!

The dedicated museum staff made color copies of the eight paintings and placed them into picture frames for each table. The various images were then duplicated on a portion of the appropriate guest’s name tag to indicate the table where they would be seated. Upon arrival, in the reception area, the guests collected their name tags, along with a celebratory glass of champagne. At the completion of my commencement toast, I made reference to the name tags and explained how guests would use their name tag image to find their table.

---

---

I urge you to think creatively when numbering tables if you are orchestrating a memorable event. Astute Party Planners, the Internet, and Pinterest, all have a plethora of clever examples to inspire you too.

---

Claude Monet’s oil painting, “Fishing Boats at Sea.” You will also note there is a bottle of hand sanitizer to the right of the flowers. One was placed on each table by the Museum as a precautionary measure in reference to the COVID-19 Virus. It was removed from the table after it had been passed and used.

---

I prefer using pretty silver picture frames to distinguish the table name or number for guests. There are various short and attractive holders to grace a table as a discrete option versus tall holders. Yet, when attending banquets in a vast ballroom, the taller holders are indispensable for guests to find their designated table.
 

Millennial Tip

Once the entire table is seated, if there is a tall table number holder, you may ask the waiter to remove the holder from the table.  I think it diminishes the overall elegance of the table and floral design. Or, as a last resort, quietly place it on the floor, out of the way of tripping anyone.

Forbidden Faux Pas
 

No-no: to change your seat from your assigned table to another table.
 

No-no: if there are place cards arranged on a table, to change the order of place cards unless you have a very, very good reason!

Sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners to receive new sparkling tips about etiquette and classic design every week, along with a free download of Holly’s Elegant Entertaining e-book.

---

Surviving Social Distancing

---

Our lifestyles have changed radically in the past few weeks, from avoiding handshakes, and now to social distancing. Our world, country, families, loved ones are now experiencing a tsunami wave, crashing over our past, “normal” lifestyle. Social distancing is our current state of affairs. Since we are now sequestered at home, may I share three suggestions that have helped me stay positive… besides a few bottles of wine with Stuart! I would love to hear from you, too.

-Trying my best to be kind, patient and loving, while also sharing a sense of humor…this is not always easy! But, these attributes can be the best gift you can give others. Do you agree? It is paramount for me to stay in touch with loved ones, whether over the phone, on the Internet. I am so very grateful to hear from my family, friends, and you!

-Remembering to thank any medical staff that I know. They are working endless hours, under stressful and dangerous conditions for all of us.

-Keeping patriotism strong and hanging our American flag. America and its democracy is a treasure to be grateful for. We are waging an invisible war together and I believe Americans are up to the challenge.

-Long walks to absorb and appreciate nature. My puppy, Miss Zsa Zsa, loves romping about too!

On another note, while we cannot shake hands, host parties or gather together, you may be inspired in ways you never knew. A business executive shared that during the plague of London in 1665, Issac Newton, who left Cambridge University to live at home during that time, invented calculus. He also watched an apple fall from a tree which in turn, inspired him to understand gravity. Lofty, I know! Just surviving in close quarters with loved ones, or being alone, for an extended period of time, is a huge accomplishment.

Hosting the ladies luncheon, as I shared in my last newsletter, remains a cherished memory. The present requires us to adapt to serious new guidelines of how we live and work at home and in our communities. Hopefully in time, we will return to the joyful social activities we are accustomed to! I am eagerly looking forward to the time when we can once again have friends over to Fox Hall.

Until then, I send you my heartfelt wishes for a sense of humor, a bounty of strength and safety, and an abundance of good health. Keep calm and sparkle on.

---

Sign up for Mummy’s Monday Manners to receive new sparkling tips about etiquette and classic design every week, along with a free download of Holly’s Elegant Entertaining e-book.

---

Oh, the simple pleasures in life are to be treasured.